So... how do you spend YOUR Trade Deadline Day? - 2015 Edition
In what has become a bit of a staple for me, for the past few years I've given a somewhat satirical look at how I spend my trade deadline days. A bit of back story is that, since 1998, I have taken the day off from work or school to spend my day stuck in front of the television and waste the day away with junk food and HFBoards in what has become an unofficial holiday for me.
The past few threads are found here :
2014 Thread
2013 Thread
2012 Thread
This year, for the first time in 17 years now, I will
not be sitting in front of my television at home... because I will actually be on vacation in Scotland!
Let's be clear though - a little thing like vacation does not break tradition for me... and the 5 hour time difference actually works to my advantage to actually get the most of my day, and then enjoy the trade deadline in the evening/night!
With that in mind, here is the road map of how my day should be going... with a bit of a Scottish theme.
8:00am Edinburgh Time (3:00am EDT) - Awaken to realize that my jet lag is still in full force, and begin to wonder if this is what the guys from Trainspotting felt like.
9:00am Edinburgh Time (4:00am EDT) - Emerge from my hotel room after a shower and a fresh change of clothes to head down to the pub attached to the restaurant. Order a full Scottish breakfast - I'll need my strength for the day (if keeping score, that is two eggs, bacon, sausage, haggis, beans, grilled tomato, grilled mushrooms, and toast)
10:00am Edinburgh Time (5:00am EDT) - Leave the pub sporting a full on food baby after consuming enough calories to kill most small mammals. Realize I'm gonna have to climb a mountain to burn this off... look across the city's skyline, and remember that's exactly what I'm doing that day.
10:45am Edinburgh Time (5:45am EDT) - After a walk from Haymarket (where my hotel is) to the Old City Centre, and Holyrood Park where I find Arthur's Seat (the aforementioned mountain). Feel the juices pumping as I take my first steps up the mountain as I love hiking, and the view is supposed to be ridiculous.
10:48am Edinburgh Time (5:48am EDT) - Immediately both regret my breakfast choice, and realize I've overestimated my cardio abilities. Grow concerned I'm worrying my fellow hikers.
12:30pm Edinburgh Time (7:30am EDT) - After much sweat, tears, and maybe even a little vomit, finally arrive to the top of Arthurs Seat. Amaze at the view of the city. Wish the Leafs future was this bright.
12:45pm Edinburgh Time (7:45am EDT) - Start my descent back down the mountain, and realize the Leafs are going to be arriving at practice soon. Wonders if Kessel is going to give an interview.
3:30pm Edinburgh Time (10:30a, EDT) - Arrive back in the main city, and head directly back to my hotel. Wonder what I should drink when I settle in to my room, when I realize... I'm in Scotland! Immediately head over to the Marks & Spencer close to my hotel and pick up a bottle of Dalwhinnie.
3:45pm Edinburgh Time (10:45am EDT) - Start walking back to my hotel. Realize that not only am I going to be absent of James Onrait & Dan O'Toole this year, but also Kate Beirness. Feel immediate melancholy.
4:00pm Edinburgh Time (11:00am EDT) - Arrive back at the hotel, and immediately pour a scotch. Log into HFBoards, and find some kind stranger who can provide me a link to a TSN stream that I can access from Europe.
5:00pm Edinburgh Time (12:00pm EDT) - After seeing next to no trade movement, fully realize that going on vacation during the trade deadline was the right move to make. Catch Steve Simmons making shadow puppets on the Reporters desk in the background.
6:30pm Edinburgh Time (1:30pm EDT) - Trade Activity picking up, and quickly realize I haven't eaten in several hours. Run down to one of the hundreds of takeaway places in Edinburgh, and pick up a Munchie Box (basically a pizza box filled with deep fried goodies like deep fried pizza, wings, pakoras, fries, onion rings, donair meat... basically a box of deep fried food.)
6:45pm Edinburgh Time (1:45pm EDT) Bring back food to find out that Marc Bergevin has acquired Antoine Vermette for a 2nd round pick. After last year and Vanek, immediately suspect voodoo magic.
7:00pm Edinburgh Time (2:00pm EDT) - Wipe dribbling grease of chin after munchie box consumption. Hear that Joffrey Lupul has been traded for a 1st round pick. Deal gets voided after Lupul breaks his wrist answering the phone to waive his NTC.
7:30pm Edinburgh Time (2:30pm EDT) - Darren Dreger announces that the Toronto Maple Leafs have traded Dion Phaneuf to the LA Kings for Mike Richards and.... nothing else. Everything goes blank for a few minutes after that. Come around to a press conference of Dave Nonis believing Richards is still a "quality NHL centre."
8:00pm Edinburgh Time (3:00pm EDT) - Final bell sounds. Final assessment - 2nd round pick for Winnik, 6th round picks for Booth and Jokinen, and the Phaneuf debaucle. Try to remember that this only brings us closer to McDavid. Refill scotch glass more than I should.
9:00pm Edinburgh Time (4:00pm EDT) - Log into HFBoards and immediately get into drunken argument as Kings fan troll Leafs forums talking about how the Leafs 'should've added' on Phaneuf. Immediately channel my inner Marc Bergevin to cast voodoo curses....with lacklustre results.
9:30pm Edinburgh Time (4:30pm EDT) - Notice the mostly empty scotch bottle and remember I'm going on a 12 hour tour the next day. Immediately start counting down to the draft and begin to have such wonderful dreams....
So... how do you spend YOUR Trade Deadline?