OT: The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.

[beerme1]

My (soon-to-be-ex-)wife decided we're done over the summer.

Ah. That blows but keep your spirits up. Somewhere down the road you'll look back from a better place. Cheers man. From a twice married guy.

 

[Club]

My (soon-to-be-ex-)wife decided we're done over the summer.

Sorry to hear all that, Chain. I can't really speak on the subject as I've only been in 3 or 4 serious relationships. (Single now and loving life) But praying for you.

 

[Chainshot]

Ah. That blows but keep your spirits up. Somewhere down the road you'll look back from a better place. Cheers man. From a twice married guy.

I'm working at it. Finding that there are things I enjoy that I've gotten away from (including talking hockey) that I can put back in to keep my spirits up. My son has gotten the hockey bug -- made me create a fantasy league to play him in -- and so we're watching a lot.

Sorry to hear all that, Chain. I can't really speak on the subject as I've only been in 3 or 4 serious relationships. (Single now and loving life) But praying for you.

Thanks. I don't have a lot of experience in terms of number of relationships either, but I'm sure as hell gunning to find someone who doesn't have 20-years of preconceived bull about me that is not necessarily true to be with. I haven't gone on a date with someone else since some time in the '90's. It's odd and funny and sad and comic all at the same time. At least I can laugh about that, right?

 

[Chainshot]

Congrats on "only" 31. You guys are part of a rather exclusive "club" these days! And very sorry to hear about your wife's illness. Will add you both to my reflections.

My wife and I have also discovered/encountered just how important "in sickness and health" and "for better or worse" are in the big scheme of life. It's a lot tougher going thru these times (which are inevitable) alone or w/o someone to share them with. Gotta view it as a journey that's just gonna have all sorts of ups and downs along the way.

Yeah, I hope everything looks up for you and your wife too BowieSabresFan. You have each other, and that's important.

 

[DJN21]

Just got back in from my honeymoon and binge watching the games I've missed. Coming from Jamaica back to rochester was a shock lol.

Also hope to never step foot in jfk airport again holy crow what a mess of jerks all around you.

 

[Howie Hodge]

Thanks. I don't have a lot of experience in terms of number of relationships either, but I'm sure as hell gunning to find someone who doesn't have 20-years of preconceived bull about me that is not necessarily true to be with. I haven't gone on a date with someone else since some time in the '90's. It's odd and funny and sad and comic all at the same time. At least I can laugh about that, right?

I assure you things are no different. Like riding a bike. We don't age emotionally, but we sure as hell do physically!

 

[Brass Bancroft]

The dish is about two years old. Do you remember the last game you were able to watch?
You get them on MSG-B channel 635-1?

Last game I watched was Saturday against the LA Kings on 635-1.

 

[HaNotsri]

My two weeks in Japan were great, especially Naoshima and Aokigahara, but Hiroshima broke me. They have these huge archives with almost all victims. I only managed to read five of the accounts that were translated to english and then I just folded. Physically and mentally. Glasses fell to the floor and everything, I just couldn’t sit straight.
Can’t think about it without crying and feeling weak. So many children and so many heroic stories that still ends in futility.

I can’t really recommend going there but I guess some people should be forced to.

 

[TheMistyStranger]

My two weeks in Japan were great, especially Naoshima and Aokigahara, but Hiroshima broke me. They have these huge archives with almost all victims. I only managed to read five of the accounts that were translated to english and then I just folded. Physically and mentally. Glasses fell to the floor and everything, I just couldn’t sit straight.
Can’t think about it without crying and feeling weak. So many children and so many heroic stories that still ends in futility.

I can’t really recommend going there but I guess some people should be forced to.

I would love to go to Japan, but I think Hiroshima would be a place I would need to stay well clear of, for exactly that reason.

 

[IceNeophyte]

In this day and age of Equifax and othet breaches that's a really bad idea. Identity thieves can file your taxes and claim your refund and if they file first you get screwed. The process for fixing it is incredibly long and painful. You really should file the moment you get all your documents.

I wish someone would steal my identity and file my taxes for me.

 

[dasaybz]

I'm working at it. Finding that there are things I enjoy that I've gotten away from (including talking hockey) that I can put back in to keep my spirits up. My son has gotten the hockey bug -- made me create a fantasy league to play him in -- and so we're watching a lot.



Thanks. I don't have a lot of experience in terms of number of relationships either, but I'm sure as hell gunning to find someone who doesn't have 20-years of preconceived bull about me that is not necessarily true to be with. I haven't gone on a date with someone else since some time in the '90's. It's odd and funny and sad and comic all at the same time. At least I can laugh about that, right?

I had a very rocky road with Mrs. Dasaybz this past summer, and I gotta tell you man, shit hurts bad. Like you, I haven't been on a "date" since the 90s, but although scary, it sounds fun at the same time. I know for myself, I would need quite a while just being alone and not even entertaining the idea of having a relationship for a while, but I hope it all works out for you man. I have 3 kids, middle school age, and they are my friggin world. No matter what happens between men and women, we always got our kids. Take care bro, I wish for nothing but the best.

 

[Mike McDermott]

Chain... That's rough. But sounds like you are approaching it the right way.
I've been married 17 years and it has definitely been an uphill climb some of the time but thankfully we've always gotten through it. Two years ago, during a very rocky point, she even said "I meant it when I said 'til death do us part' and we'll get through this". And I can't be more thankful for that, because we've both grown a lot out of that experience.
I can't imagine what I would have done if she had gone the other route, so I can't imagine what you're going through.

 

[Chainshot]

I had a very rocky road with Mrs. Dasaybz this past summer, and I gotta tell you man, **** hurts bad. Like you, I haven't been on a "date" since the 90s, but although scary, it sounds fun at the same time. I know for myself, I would need quite a while just being alone and not even entertaining the idea of having a relationship for a while, but I hope it all works out for you man. I have 3 kids, middle school age, and they are my friggin world. No matter what happens between men and women, we always got our kids. Take care bro, I wish for nothing but the best.

Yeah, the kids are the thing that get me through. Sorry to hear you had a rough patch as well.

 

[Chainshot]

Chain... That's rough. But sounds like you are approaching it the right way.
I've been married 17 years and it has definitely been an uphill climb some of the time but thankfully we've always gotten through it. Two years ago, during a very rocky point, she even said "I meant it when I said 'til death do us part' and we'll get through this". And I can't be more thankful for that, because we've both grown a lot out of that experience.
I can't imagine what I would have done if she had gone the other route, so I can't imagine what you're going through.

I used to say that. She’s been done for a while.

 

[Jim Bob]

I used to say that. She’s been done for a while.

The thing that I learned and have seen repeated in my friend circle is that it takes two people to make a marriage work and only one person to end a marriage.

 

[Chainshot]

The thing that I learned and have seen repeated in my friend circle is that it takes two people to make a marriage work and only one person to end a marriage.

Agreed. It's also becoming clear to her that the consideration she got from me when we were a couple is far different now that she's made this choice. I don't have to be concerned one bit with making things easier for her or giving up my time for her and I've told her so. She's now aware that my time has value and she has rarely if ever viewed my time/effort as having value. Her expectation that I will bend to her schedule is quaint and steeped in 24 years of being together and has no bearing on our relationship going forward.

I have a friend who says that people marry for love but divorce is a financial transaction. She's about to find that out.

 

[Howie Hodge]

So fella's, are we all in??

Jk - I jest....

 

[Jim Bob]

So fella's, are we all in??

View attachment 149489
Jk - I jest....

I'm re-married and in a much healthier relationship based off of lessons learned about myself as a result of my previous marriage ending.

I think too many people never learn and improve themselves after a divorce and never take ownership of what they did to contribute to their marriage failing. It is too easy to sit back and blame their ex and play the victim card.

 

[Jim Bob]

Agreed. It's also becoming clear to her that the consideration she got from me when we were a couple is far different now that she's made this choice. I don't have to be concerned one bit with making things easier for her or giving up my time for her and I've told her so. She's now aware that my time has value and she has rarely if ever viewed my time/effort as having value. Her expectation that I will bend to her schedule is quaint and steeped in 24 years of being together and has no bearing on our relationship going forward.

Yeah, that stuff usually is quite shocking for the leaver. When the leavee stops putting the leaver first, they usually are like "wait, what???".

I had a friend that was still FB friends with my ex during the divorce that would vent to me when she would post stuff about how hard it was to be a single mom. That used to make me laugh.

I have a friend who says that people marry for love but divorce is a financial transaction. She's about to find that out.

Being able to detach from being emotional about the process and looking at it more as a game or a business deal is much healthier.

My ex wasn't able to remain calm when things didn't go her way in family court and I played it all like a game of poker.

I knew what outcome I really cared about and I knew the card I had to play to get more of what I wanted in that area.

And at the end of the day, I got a way better deal in my #1 area than she was originally offering. Although, I didn't get my desired outcome in that area which was a straight 50-50 split of time with the kids.

 

[brian_griffin]

There's a quote attributed to Albert Einstein, "Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed."

 

[Howie Hodge]

I'm re-married and in a much healthier relationship based off of lessons learned about myself as a result of my previous marriage ending.

I think too many people never learn and improve themselves after a divorce and never take ownership of what they did to contribute to their marriage failing. It is too easy to sit back and blame their ex and play the victim card.

True as you tell it JB.

The bitter never learn, never grow, and never move on.

 

[Chainshot]

Yeah, that stuff usually is quite shocking for the leaver. When the leavee stops putting the leaver first, they usually are like "wait, what???".

I had a friend that was still FB friends with my ex during the divorce that would vent to me when she would post stuff about how hard it was to be a single mom. That used to make me laugh.



Being able to detach from being emotional about the process and looking at it more as a game or a business deal is much healthier.

My ex wasn't able to remain calm when things didn't go her way in family court and I played it all like a game of poker.

I knew what outcome I really cared about and I knew the card I had to play to get more of what I wanted in that area.

And at the end of the day, I got a way better deal in my #1 area than she was originally offering. Although, I didn't get my desired outcome in that area which was a straight 50-50 split of time with the kids.

Asset division this week is getting under way. She was shocked when I laid out that I'd gotten legal advice, that I hadn't shared it with her, and that I knew she is trying to shield her CR property and all of her business from me. So... it was a warm week. It'll get warmer this coming week when we sit down with the financial guy and I stick to negotiating on her business and property. I'm expecting her new button-pushing battle cry of "but what will this do to the children" to echo out through the halls.

True as you tell it JB.

The bitter never learn, never grow, and never move on.

I am trying to keep my eyes on that long game. I am taking lessons out of this - where I messed up that helped set the patterns that lead to this end, how I deal with myself -- and then what to do to make sure those things not only don't crop up again, but are dealt with and done. It's liberating in many ways. And in all of this, I am re-affirmed at how I have great kids, amazing friends and wonderful family still, all great things in all of this.

 

[Jim Bob]

Asset division this week is getting under way. She was shocked when I laid out that I'd gotten legal advice, that I hadn't shared it with her, and that I knew she is trying to shield her CR property and all of her business from me. So... it was a warm week. It'll get warmer this coming week when we sit down with the financial guy and I stick to negotiating on her business and property. I'm expecting her new button-pushing battle cry of "but what will this do to the children" to echo out through the halls.

That sounds similar to what happened when my ex made the first parenting schedule proposal that was less time for me than the standard minimum in NYS that the worst of parents get.

Her response to that information was priceless.

 

[WeDislikeEich]

Anyone living in WNY with Directv? Have had several Sabres games "blacked out" this year, which has not been the case in prior years.

I asked my buddy who has Directv.

He said that when the games aren’t on 635-1, they are on a channel in the 200’s. (sorry, I can’t remember the specific channel).

He said no games have been blacked out for him, though.

 

[Jim Bob]

People leaving work at the end of the day today like...