The ________ Hattrick

[PAZ]

I didn't realize this thread was 6 yrs old until that comment was made

 

[Colorado Avalanche]

I didn't realize this thread was 6 yrs old until that comment was made

Me too! Haha. I thought people just had really good memory. I was wondering why they had so many old players here. Hehe.

 

[chet1926]

The Varlamov hattrick

1. One ridiculous save, that he had no business making
2. One fist pump with stick after winning a shootout
3. One overly awkward 1st star interview

 

[Pokecheque]

The Varlamov hattrick

1. One ridiculous save, that he had no business making
2. One fist pump with stick after winning a shootout
3. One overly awkward 1st star interview

I think one of those should be substituted with:

One hack on an opposing player or teammate who happens to be in the vicinity.

 

[The Shermanator]

The John Mitchell Hattrick

1. Take bad shot instead of passing to guy with wide open net.
2. Hold puck for 30 seconds and then lose it
3. Get moved up to the first line.

 

[Foppa2118]

The Nick Holden Hatrick:

1. Lose your man in coverage and give up a goal
2. Miss a hip check
3. Get Roy to say how well you've played after the game, and how happy he is for you.


The John Mitchell Hatrick:

Three turnovers on the same shift.

 

[hockeyfish]

The Nick Holden hattrick. credit to him for playing well though

1. Fall down in the defensive zone
2. Fall down in the neutral zone
3. Fall down in the offensive zone

 

[Avs71]

The EJ hattrick:

1. shot directly into the player infront of you
2. Mid-period skate sharpening making everyone think you're hurt
3. Humiliating a teammate on twitter after the game.

 

[The Kingslayer]

Seeeing the name Wyatt Smith made me cringe

 

[Spender]

Greg Zanon hattrick:
1. Blocked shot
2. Iced puck
3. Actually that's all he ever did...

 

[Foppa2118]

Tyler Arnason:
A goal, a dangle, and a giveaway

The Brett Clark hattrick:

1) One shift
2) Another shift
3) Colorado section of HF Boards whining about how much ice time and salary cap space he's been given

The Wyatt Smith hattrick:

1. 0 points
2. Even +/-
3. 15:00 TOI

The post-lockout Pierre Lacroix Hat Trick.

AKA the big fat snake eat big buffon Hat Trick

 

[Hans Landaskog]

Why is it all of these posts sound like something on the front of a Magic the Gathering Card?

John Mitchell

"Automatically gain offensive zone.
If in bottom six, shoot the puck.
If in top six, shoot the puck.

If puck turned over, coast to bench and lose 1 to +/-"

 

[Foppa2118]

Why is it all of these posts sound like something on the front of a Magic the Gathering Card?

John Mitchell

"Automatically gain offensive zone.
If in bottom six, shoot the puck.
If in top six, shoot the puck.

If puck turned over, coast to bench and lose 1 to +/-"

Why do I feel like this is word for word the exact same neanderthal monologue that's going through Mitchell's head every time he steps on the ice.

 

[Ceremony]

The Q Hattrick...

1. Shuffle lines so often they don't gel.

2. Ruin goalies by using them as scapegoats.

3. Get so pissed about your own lack of ability you take a bench minor for abusing the officials.

Ah, the good old days.

 

[SuperTheGreat]

The Theo Fleury Hattrick:

1 line of coke
1 count of threatening an opposing defenseman to gouge his F'ing eyes out with his skate blades
1 goal


-or-


Pre-game: 1 line of coke (at least)
In-game: 1 goal (at least)
Post-game: 1 stripper (at least)

 

[RockLobster]

The post-lockout Pierre Lacroix Hat Trick.

AKA the big fat snake eat big buffon Hat Trick

End of thread.

 

[AvsfanJack]

Ryan Wilson hatrick.
1. Absolutely level someone
2. Play average hockey and make one bad play
3. Get ripped for being terrible by HFers and suddenly AHL fodder is a better option

 

[tigervixxxen]

I seriously have no recollection of Wyatt Smith. Did I repress it? What was the deal with him?

 

[RockLobster]

I seriously have no recollection of Wyatt Smith. Did I repress it? What was the deal with him?

You don't want to know...trust me.

 

[Colorado Avalanche]

Ryan Wilson hatrick.
1. Absolutely level someone
2. Play average hockey and make one bad play
3. Get ripped for being terrible by HFers and suddenly AHL fodder is a better option

You forgot getting injured..

 

[SB]

I seriously have no recollection of Wyatt Smith. Did I repress it? What was the deal with him?

Exactly.

 

[ORLY]

Nick Holdentrick

-Obtain nudes of Roy for blackmail
-get more icetime
-score 2 goals, miss the net for your 3rd goal by banking it off the boards to Duchene for a primary assist.

 

[ORLY]

The Dubnyktrick

3 goals allowed in the first period

 

[Ceremony]

I seriously have no recollection of Wyatt Smith. Did I repress it? What was the deal with him?

You don't want to know...trust me.

I just looked this guy up on a whim... he played 25 games for us? How do I have no recollection of any of this?

 

[Bender]

I just looked this guy up on a whim... he played 25 games for us? How do I have no recollection of any of this?

You don't remember SWS? (Superstar Wyatt Smith)

I think your memory is suppressing his abysmal performances for the Avs.