Mischa
Registered User
- Feb 11, 2012
- 26,347
- 68
In many of the larger bandwagon fandoms of the National Hockey League, the Hitchhiker's Guide has already supplanted the great Encyclopaedia Hocktica as the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom, for though it has many omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly inaccurate, it scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two important respects.
First, it is slightly cheaper; and secondly it has the words DON'T PANIC inscribed in large friendly letters on its cover.
Excerpts from the Pittsburgh Penguins section:
This fanbase has — or rather had — a problem, which was this: most of the people who belong to it were unhappy for pretty much all of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with posting on an online message board, which was odd because on the whole it wasn't the message board that was unhappy.
The best strategy in existence is "Getting to Our Game". The effect of watching this strategy is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.
Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the minds of the Medical Staff as a player fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the Medical Staff had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now.
The History of every major Coach tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases.
For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question How can we win? the second by the question Why are we winning? and the third by the question How can we sign more grinders?
In the beginning of the season Craig Adams was re-signed.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
It is very easy to be blinded to the essential uselessness of [Adams and Glass] by the sense of achievement you get from getting them to work at all.
Kunitz-Crosby-Kobasew
Jokinen-Malkin-Neal
Pyatt-Sutter-Glass
Adams-Megna-Engelland
Orpik-Martin
Scuderi-Letang
Maatta-Niskanen
Fleury
Zatkoff
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