Captain Dave Poulin
Imaginary Cat
Welcome To The 20/21 Flyers Board NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot, PHASE SIX! Part Two!
We have now completed five delicious phases, full of stupidity and weirdness and logic and outer space and rational assumptions about Overlords and irrational assertions about money and so, SO many f***ing ducks, all of whom rule, but not as much as kitties.
We head now into the second half of the stupid half of this enterprise, i.e. the hockey shit. If you are confident that your loins are sufficiently girded, I encourage you to storm forward. If you fear there may be some slack vis a vis your loins, I encourage you to batten down the motherf***ing hatches before your shit starts flying off.
CURRENT PLAYERS
It is especially important now and moving forward to carefully check the lists on the first page and in that spreadsheet to make sure you don’t pick someone who has already been chosen. I know it’s confusing, but we have chosen a shit ton of shit. And players.
This could be seen as our “Third Current Line,” since we already have two Current Lines and calling it anything else would be defective. The same rules as PHASE FOUR! apply - they have to be alive, and they have to be currently playing professional hockey. We will use Hockey Reference to confirm positional integrity. Don’t worry about “right” and “left” for defensemen.
We are taking another goaltender now, that is the one important change. So these are the positions you need to fill as we continue to pretend that hockey matters.
- LW
- C
- RW
- D
- D
- G
IMPORTANT RATIONAL SHIT
I settled on these categories because I want to make sure I cater to the mostly Philadelphia crowd in here - thus it’s heavily food-leaning. Because you weirdos have opinions about everything to do with food.
Unless otherwise stated, the people and things below can be anyone/anything except people/things that have already been explicitly picked OR cause conflict with our “no duplicates” law of the new universe.
Team Condiment - Remember to check the spreadsheet. For example, mayonnaise has already been taken. As an instrument. But that still means it’s off the table. No duplicates.
Team Album - This can be an album by your Band/Musician, but it can’t be an album by a Band/Musician that has been chosen by someone else. So for me, I could choose a Superchunk album, or I can choose an album by a Band/Musician who hasn’t been chosen by anyone.
Team Soup - I don’t really see how this could cause problems or confusion, but I’m sure it will. The key here is to pick a f***ing soup.
Team Breakfast Cereal - Again, pretty straightforward.
Team Defunct Sports Franchise - This is an awesome category that we almost had last time due to my confusion. I am 100% sure I am right about it this time. Pick a sports franchise which no longer exists. It can be the original form of a team which moved somewhere else - for example, you could choose the St. Louis Cardinals (football), though I wouldn’t advise it since that is the most defective organization in sports history.
Team Pro Beach Hockey Franchise (City, Nickname, Colors) - This is another awesome one, the first of two we will do like this. Rebel57 chose this for his nostalgia item and we are all going to choose a city and nickname, like we did with our original franchises, and team colors. We will adhere to No Duplicates principles, but like you could put your team in the same city as your ice hockey team, or your minor-league team if you wanted. Must be in North America.
Remember: “Chaos” is not the same thing as “Havoc.” Engage in the former, not the latter. We have a whole ton of stuff left over for PHASE SIX! so don’t worry if categories you wanted aren’t in here - I will champion them later with the boss.
For the first round, we will give everyone 12 hours to get revved up again - for all the succeeding rounds, it will be six hours. The daily clock starts at 8 a.m. and ends at 10 p.m., all times Eastern. This is a MONGOOSE DRAFT, which is the same functionally as a snake draft, but isn’t named after the **** of the animal world.
Don't forget to tag the next person in your pick post AND send a PM.
DRAFT ORDER
1. Dancing Panther - Providence Platypi
2. Hurricane28 - Virginia Beach Surge
3. Lord Defect - St. Paul Stay Pufts
4. JojotheWhale - New York M.A.D. Cats
5. mja - New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins
6. ajgoal - Los Angeles Whalers
7. GKJ - Philadelphia Villains
8. Magua - Honolulu Ghibli
9. BernieParent - Tampa Bay FireSticks
10. Rebel57 - Portland Fog
11. FlyTimmo - Boston FlyTimmos
12. Hollywood Couturier - Las Vegas Desert Ducks
13. BiggE - Jacksonville Methgators
14. CanadianFlyer88 - Seattle Sockeyes
15. Young Sandwich - Montreal Sexpos
16. Striiker - Allentown Attack
17. StrawberryFields - Vancouver Beavers
18. pit - Chicago Chimpanzees
19. ChuckDownie - Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!
20. Captain Dave Poulin - Quebec Lapins
1. Dancing Panther - Providence Platypi
2. Hurricane28 - Virginia Beach Surge
3. Lord Defect - St. Paul Stay Pufts
4. JojotheWhale - New York M.A.D. Cats
5. mja - New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins
6. ajgoal - Los Angeles Whalers
7. GKJ - Philadelphia Villains
8. Magua - Honolulu Ghibli
9. BernieParent - Tampa Bay FireSticks
10. Rebel57 - Portland Fog
11. FlyTimmo - Boston FlyTimmos
12. Hollywood Couturier - Las Vegas Desert Ducks
13. BiggE - Jacksonville Methgators
14. CanadianFlyer88 - Seattle Sockeyes
15. Young Sandwich - Montreal Sexpos
16. Striiker - Allentown Attack
17. StrawberryFields - Vancouver Beavers
18. pit - Chicago Chimpanzees
19. ChuckDownie - Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!
20. Captain Dave Poulin - Quebec Lapins
DON’T FORGET TO STOCK UP FOR CHRISTMAS WITH QUACKVERSE MERCH AND/OR SWAG!
RIVALRIES
| HOST | RIVAL | |
| Allentown Attack | vs | New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins |
| Boston FlyTimmos | vs | Los Angeles Whalers |
| Chicago Chimpanzees | vs | Las Vegas Desert Ducks |
| Honolulu Ghibli | vs | Florida Methgators |
| Jacksonville Methgators | vs | Tampa Bay FireSticks |
| Las Vegas Desert Ducks | vs | Providence Platypi |
| Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha! | vs | Boston FlyTimmos |
| Los Angeles Whalers | vs | New York M.A.D. Cats |
| Montreal Sexpos | vs | Quebec Lapins |
| New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins | vs | Allentown Attack |
| New York M.A.D. Cats | vs | Montreal Sexpos |
| Philadelphia Villains | vs | New York M.A.D. Cats |
| Portland Fog | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
| Providence Platypi | vs | Las Vegas Desert Ducks |
| Quebec Lapins | vs | Montreal Sexpos |
| Seattle Sockeyes | vs | Vancouver Beavers |
| St. Paul Stay Pufts | vs | Quebec Lapins |
| Tampa Bay FireSticks | vs | Jacksonville Methgators |
| Vancouver Beavers | vs | Seattle Sockeyes |
| Virginia Beach Surge | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
NO NAMING NAMES, NO PICK TIPPING, NO ICE CREAM BANTER, NO TWITCH SHIT, SNITCHES GET STITCHES!
LEARN TO F***ING READ!
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE OFFICIAL MERCHANDISE
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