Captain Dave Poulin
Imaginary Cat
Welcome To The 20/21 Flyers Board NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot, PHASE FIFTEEN! Part One!
We have picked a lot of shit. So much shit. We have picked shit that we love. We have picked shit that we hate. Chuck has picked stuff that we don’t understand. Nothing that milord has picked has made an ounce of sense. We have splintered off into side threads to spare the time and the strain of people who weren’t interested in certain topics regarding certain shit.
Yet I find myself thinking of more stuff that I love. I find that my capacity for hate, as well as the list that names names, is bottomless. I am always eager to see more from Chuck, and I can almost tolerate more from Defectus. So we carry on. What’s the alternative - to squat on our haunches on Earth Prime and shit down our legs? Our legs would just end up blending in to Earth Prime, which you know damned well is shit, and we wouldn’t be able to tell where we should put our pants on.
The following list of categories has been carefully curated in an attempt to provide variety, to encourage your mind to wander down diverse avenues and find stuff and shit to bring with you into the unknown dark pockets of the universe. So do that. And please cease Operation Nervous Breakdown and any and all stupid protests that don’t make sense and just don’t pick someone who has already been taken unless otherwise explicitly given the green light to do so.
THE RATIONAL SHIT
- Team Spite Actor - This is an actor you can’t stand. I’m thinking that you don’t have to necessarily hate them enough to punish or beat up, but you will be able to stop them from ever appearing in anything (including documentaries and reality shows and Youtube videos et al) ever again. Basically you are removing them from the screens that you see. The only real restriction is that they can’t have already been picked for anything as an individual - they’ll still show up in whatever terrible movies or shows you have already selected, since we don’t take things away from people here. Like I couldn’t select Dwayne, unfortunately.
- Team Spite Actress - This is the same thing, except with a lady actor.
- Team Spite Movie - This is a movie that you loathe and will be able to destroy. The only restriction, again, is that the specific film cannot have been selected individually by anyone already. This will not effect any director selections or whatever.
- Team Fictional Doctor - This is just like your lawyer, only with a doctor. It can be any kind of doctor, so knock yourself out. For this category, the doctor cannot be from any show, film, comic strip, comic book, series, song, or anything else which has already been taken by someone else - this is a CATEGORY FIVE category, which means that it is strict as balls. You have to find a doc from something altogether new unless it is a show, film, etc. that you have already taken yourself. You think that’s tough, you should see what a CATEGORY SIX category is like. You’d probably barf from the strictness.
- Team Defunct TV Series - This is a TV show which is no longer running and which no one has taken yet. I don’t think that’s too complicated. The front office was rife with discussion (well, two sentences of discussion) about how we already have a TV series, but there are so many thousands of them still out there, and it will be both groovy and swell to have another one.
- Team Holiday Song - Speaking of swollen, don’t get too f***ing excited - this is just a regular holiday song that no one has specifically selected as some kind of song already. That’s the only restriction, which makes this a CATEGORY TWO category. It can be from any holiday.
- Team Category Two - This is where you provide another category for us to do. Think of something you want to pick and create a category for that kind of thing (without telling the rest of us what the specific thing you want to pick is). We may have to tweak it, but we will do our best to maintain the spirit of your wish. We may have to reject it if it is too dumb or senseless, but we won’t do so out of spite. This can be something which you have suggested to me befoe but that we haven't used yet. This should not be confused with a CATEGORY TWO category, even though it is one in at least two ways.
- Team Non-WW2 Battle Site - This is just like the Team WW2 Battle Site category, except that it’s from some other battle that didn’t occur in World War Two. This one is for the history buffs, unless I’m the only one, in which case it’s selfish. We will employ a loose definition of “battle,” but not so loose that this turns into a CATEGORY ONE category like “Team Wild Card” or “Team Dealer’s Choice II.”
- Team Carnival Ride - Pick a specific carnival ride. You can’t pick a ride from someone’s Team Theme Park. Be specific, so don’t pick “roller coasters” or “merry-go-rounds.” It doesn’t have to be a famous one - if you had a special one at your school picnic with carnies smoking and spitting and picking up girls next to it, that’s fine. Just give it a name so I can write something in the box.
- Team Game Show - This can’t be a game show that someone has picked for their Team TV Show or Team Defunct TV Series, but otherwise is a f***ing game show that has been broadcast.
- Team One-Hit Wonder Two - This is just like Team One-Hit Wonder One, but again. I have been sitting on this and wanting to do it for a long time, because it is cool as shit, so now I am forcing you to want it, too. Remember that it has to be an actual “one-hit wonder” and not one of several songs a band put out that became popular. Don’t try anything squirrely or you will be cut, and so will your selection.
- Team Reverse Crushing Sports Moment - This is an awesome idea and awesome wordplay. You pick your favorite sports moment. See what I did there? I don’t think we have done this before, but if it turns out that we have, just pick another one.
Remember: “Chaos” is not the same thing as “Havoc.” Engage in the former, not the latter. We have a whole ton of stuff left over for PHASE SIXTEEN! so don’t worry if categories you wanted aren’t in here - I will champion them later with the boss.
For the first round, we will give everyone 12 hours to get revved up again - for all the succeeding rounds, it will be six hours. The daily clock starts at 8 a.m. and ends at 10 p.m., all times Eastern. This is a MONGOOSE DRAFT, which is the same functionally as a snake draft, but isn’t named after the turboc*** of the animal world.
Don't forget to tag the next person in your pick post AND send a PM.
DRAFT ORDER
Hollywood Couturier - Las Vegas Desert Ducks
Lord Defect - St. Paul Stay Pufts
Magua - Honolulu Ghibli
CanadianFlyer88 - Seattle Sockeyes
GKJ - Philadelphia Villains
BiggE - Jacksonville Methgators
Chuck Downie - Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!
Hurricane28 - Virginia Beach Surge
Asnito - Tijuana Toads
DancingPanther - Providence Platypi
pit - Chicago Chimpanzees
JojoTheWhale - New York M.A.D. Cats
ajgoal - Los Angeles Whalers
Captain Dave Poulin - Quebec Lapins
mja - New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins
Young Sandwich - Montreal Sexpos
Strawberry Fields - Vancouver Beavers
Rebels57 - Portland Fog
Striiker - Allentown Attack
BernieParent - Tampa Bay FireSticks
Hollywood Couturier - Las Vegas Desert Ducks
Lord Defect - St. Paul Stay Pufts
Magua - Honolulu Ghibli
CanadianFlyer88 - Seattle Sockeyes
GKJ - Philadelphia Villains
BiggE - Jacksonville Methgators
Chuck Downie - Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!
Hurricane28 - Virginia Beach Surge
Asnito - Tijuana Toads
DancingPanther - Providence Platypi
pit - Chicago Chimpanzees
JojoTheWhale - New York M.A.D. Cats
ajgoal - Los Angeles Whalers
Captain Dave Poulin - Quebec Lapins
mja - New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins
Young Sandwich - Montreal Sexpos
Strawberry Fields - Vancouver Beavers
Rebels57 - Portland Fog
Striiker - Allentown Attack
BernieParent - Tampa Bay FireSticks
DON’T FORGET TO STOCK UP FOR CHRISTMAS WITH QUACKVERSE MERCH AND/OR SWAG!
RIVALRIES
| HOST | RIVAL | |
| Allentown Attack | vs | New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins |
| Chicago Chimpanzees | vs | Las Vegas Desert Ducks |
| Honolulu Ghibli | vs | Providence Platypi |
| Jacksonville Methgators | vs | Tampa Bay Firesticks |
| Las Vegas Desert Ducks | vs | Chicago Chimpanzees |
| Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha! | vs | Portland Fog |
| Los Angeles Whalers | vs | New York M.A.D. Cats |
| Montreal Sexpos | vs | Quebec Lapins |
| New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins | vs | Allentown Attack |
| New York M.A.D. Cats | vs | Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha! |
| Philadelphia Villains | vs | Virginia Beach Surge |
| Portland Fog | vs | Los Angeles Whalers |
| Providence Platypi | vs | Honolulu Ghibli |
| Quebec Lapins | vs | Montreal Sexpos |
| Seattle Sockeyes | vs | Vancouver Beavers |
| St. Paul Stay Pufts | vs | Tijuana Toads |
| Tampa Bay Firesticks | vs | Jacksonville Methgators |
| Tijuana Toads | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
| Vancouver Beavers | vs | Seattle Sockeyes |
| Virginia Beach Surge | vs | Philadelphia Villains |
NO NAMING NAMES, NO PICK TIPPING, NO ICE CREAM BANTER, NO TWITCH SHIT, SNITCHES GET STITCHES!
LEARN TO F***ING READ!
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