The reason soccer has those transfer fees is because there are options to choose from. ManU and other English clubs, Barcelona and other Spanish clubs, Bayern and other German clubs, etc. etc.
So if Barcelona and Manchester United both want that Real Salt Lake kid, capitalism takes over. A bidding war begins, not only to entice Real Salt Lake to move the kid, but to have the kid want to play for a new team. Manchester is close to America, same language and such. Barcelona can offer the chance to play with Messi.
Are you familiar at all with professional wrestling? The differences between the way things worked in the mid-90s versus today explains everything.
In the mid-90s, there was the WWF (now WWE after a lawsuit) and WCW. Two major companies, with major television deals, giving top wrestlers the ability to choose. So when an independent wrestler or guy making waves in a smaller company (say a RVD or Taz), they see what both companies offer and make a decision. If a guy wants more money (Bret Hart WWF -> WCW) or more opportunities, (Chris Jericho WCW -> WWF) they wait til their contract expires and move. Much like Ronaldo moving from Real Madrid to Juventus.
But WWE eventually bought WCW, and while attempts were made to build a competitor, WWE controls the market. Thus, when a guy like CM Punk (a former WWE champ) decides to burn a bridge with the WWE, he's left with an embarrassing 0-2 MMA career and not much else.
Should the WWE - which like the NHL is a business that multimillionaires and billionaires want to see profits on - have to pay large sums of money to the Backyard Wrestling Alliance if they want to sign their top star, Thumbtack Tony to a developmental deal? Thumbtack Tony wants to wrestle for the WWE. The WWE wants him. Is the Backyard Wrestling Alliance willing to pay lawyer fees, going up against whatever lawyers the big company has on retainer, in order to extract more money?
You can call it a monopoly if you want, but unless another league becomes as big as the NHL, that's the way it is. The best basketball players play in the NBA, the best baseball players in the MLB. With no alternatives, with no competition, there's no reason for the NHL to negotiate a deal that sends more money to Finland and Sweden. If the KHL was as big as WCW, if players like Dahlin would seriously consider signing long-term with a KHL team over a NHL team, then it would equal a bidding war. A bidding war where Dahlin's Swedish team would be generously compensated by the team that wins the bidding war.
But there's no bidding war. There's only the big league where the Crosbys and McDavids of the world lace up their skates, who feel no obligation whatsoever to send more money overseas because it's the right thing to do.