Lol I guess I should have checked to see if someone else had put up a GDT before I went about working on the slides
but something about a website that's slowed to an absolute crawl that makes one not want to wait half an hour when time is of the essence. That's alright, we got something together here. "There's been significant action" as the poker types would say, so I'm sure not gonna rock the boat. BUT, I would like to bless the GDT with the incomplete draft of what I had lined up.
So without further ado, here was the work in progress on what today's GDT was going to be, using janky-ass text labels for that authentic barebones feel.
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Jets @ Knights Game 4 WCF @ 7pm CST - "Winnipeg to Vegas"
Almost immediately upon discovery that the Jets were going to play Las Vegas in the 3rd round, both WestJet and Air Canada rushed to provide extra direct flights between Winnipeg and Las Vegas. This made perfect sense aside from the obvious hockey motivations, as Las Vegas has a reputation as a spontaneous, short term getaway destination that even much larger cities don't typically enjoy; for the curious, this phenomenon can be observed in real time by picking your spouse up from work on a Friday afternoon and happily exclaiming "pack your bags, honey, we're going to Cleveland!".
Because of this reputation, a number of people will make numerous short trips to Las Vegas throughout the year, and while that definitely includes some folks in snowy ol' Winnipeg, it's much more pronounced in major metropolitan centres near the city of Las Vegas. Why spend three hours trying to get into a swanky nightclub in Los Angeles, for instance, when you can be catching an outgoing limousine at McCarran Airport in Vegas in only two?
In 2018, the Winnipeg Jets joined the crowd, engaging in their own trip to Sin City as an eclectic rag-tag bunch of personalities on an exciting, short-term adventure. An early setback in the series has them hoping they'll get a second chance at such a quick getaway next week, with further bonding over their common experience
Also in 2018, Fox launched a new sitcom, "LA to Vegas", based on the same concept of a rag-tag bunch of personalities bonding through their repeated weekend jaunts between the two cities on the low-budget, no-frills Jackpot Airlines.
As the future of this show is also in doubt for the immediate future, there truly is no better time than now for the two to meet.
Accordingly, tonight's GDT lineup feature our heroes as the staff and repeat customers of the Jackpot Airlines LA to Vegas weekend run and the supporting staff, along with some of the wit we hope to remember them by.
Row 1, Seats A-C
Tanner as Kyle Connor.
"Alcohol isn't even cool anymore. You know what is? Keeping all of your brain cells."
Colin as Mark Schiefele
(describing a casino interior) "It's like a thousand game shows had an orgy."
Captain Dave as Blake Wheeler
"Don't underestimate the strip club buffet. If you're going to the pool the next day, that food poisoning can really bring out your abs."
Row 1, Seats D-E
Ronnie as Josh Morrissey
"Safety is our first priority, and it's our maintenance crew's third priority, which averages out to our second priority."
and
Bernard as Jacob Trouba.
"Damn! One of your split ends just shanked me!"
Row 2, Seats A-C
The cilantro-infused LA-to-Reno crew
as
the once-mighty second line of Ehlers - Stastny - Laine
Row 2, seats D-E
Samoan MMA Fan #1 as Dustin Byfuglien
"I'll be sending you off this plane in a body bag!"
and
Irish MMA Fan #1 as Toby Enstrom
"At least I fit in a body bag!"
Row 3, Seats A-C
Artem as Matthieu Perreault
"I love papers! Wall, toilet, failing New York Times..."
Brian as Bryan Little
"Please -- don't come into the bathroom when I'm using it."
Nichole as Brandon Tanev
"You're with a stripper and a gambler; 3am is the middle of the day for us."
Row 3, Seats D-E
Ventriloquist as Tyler Myers
"I politely explained that my dummy is too valuable to be stowed, and he just started yelling and sweating at me!"
Dummy as Ben Chairot
"Hey, buddy.. you want a sip of this?"
Row 4, Seats A-C
Patricia, Deputy Mayor of Calabasas as Andrew Copp
"I'm just curious; have you ever been waterboarded with non-potable water?"
Chatty Canadian #1 as Adam Lowry
"You ever have poutine? I don't like it, but I eat it!"
Berger as Armia
"The contents of this briefcase NEED to be in Los Angeles by 5pm"
Row 4, Seats D-E
Captain Jayden as Hellebuyck
"Nah, I'm good; I've seen guys your age drive before, and I don't want to have the right blinker on for the entire flight."
Co-Pilot Alan as Mason
"I can't smell anything ever since I snorted wasabi on a dare."
Cockpit
Jackpot CEO Jack Silver (whom our lawyers will be quick to point out has only a coincidental resemblance to eccentric Virgin Airlines CEO Richard Branson), as Kevin Cheveldayoff
"The sad truth is there's only one place that a man of my stature can get justice in America, and that's Mexico."
Captain Steve as Paul Maurice.
"This Discman only plays Bob Seger.. mainly because it's been stuck closed since 2004"
Bonus Feature: Game-Day Lessons, courtesy of Episode 11.
A major side plot of this episode involves Artem and stripper-turned-grifter-protegé Nichole convincing the garrulous Colin to accept a wager that he can go the remainder of the flight without saying more than 150 words.
Lesson #1: Don't take the bait.
"Poor choice of bets, my friend"
"Ah! That's nine words."
"That was six!"
"Now it's nine!"
Lesson #2: Sometimes the refs will just make rules up as they go along.
"Et tu, Bernard?"
"He just used Latin; does that count?"
"Uh, that counts double."
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In conclusion: Go Jets go, die Knights die, and let's do this
Then my comment might make more sense to those who looked closely at his fine work.
Had a dream the Boyz won. Don't play mind games with me subconscious!!
