GDT: Get Up on the Get Back or: Sweet Sweetblack (and Golds) Badass Song [Pens v. Isles, @7:30 EST]

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HandshakeLine

A real jerk thing
Nov 9, 2005
47,990
31,972
Praha, CZ
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WHERE:
Some other not PPG Arena
WHEN: Thursday May 20 @ 7:00 PM ET
TV: Whatever works in your hometown, jack. I ain't from around these parts no more.
RADIO: 105.9 FM - The X, wherever premium streams are found.

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Tonight, your Pittsburgh Penguins have fought back with their kung fu, harnessed all of their top secret CIA/KGB/AT&T training and bounced back from a tough OT loss in Game 1. But tonight, they're in enemy territory. They've been framed for the murder of Cyrus, the most powerful gang leader in NYC and now they have to make their way from the Bronx all the way back to Coney Island in just one night with every gang in the greater New York metro area gunning for... wait, no sorry, that's Walter Hill's 1978 classic, The Warriors.

The Penguins will have 60 minutes to...

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Let's try this again, he says sarcastically. The Pittsburgh Penguins will need to keep their kung fu strong, and their threads outta sight if they have any chance of flipping the script on these jive-ass turkeys. Lay 'em down and smack 'em yack 'em, as momma always said.

Your Penguins lines/pairings for this evening, barring any cases of sudden death, amputation, demonic possession, or kung fu mishaps:


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Guentzel-Crosby-Rust
McCann-Carter-Kapanen
Zucker-Gaudreau-Rodrigues
ZAR-Blueger-Tanev

Dumoulin-Letang
Pettersson-Marino
Matheson-Ceci

Jarry-Lagace
(Malkin was last spotted in a boss Caddy out to take revenge for his brother who was killed by the evil Dr. Trotz)

Wait, this just in! We go live to the Greater Massapeaqua Ice Hole with footage of notorious fleshmonger Evgeni "Creamed Corn" Malkin getting ready for the game:

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Vs.

The Fiendish New York Islanders?

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Komarov-Barzal-Eberle
Beauvillier-Nelson-Bailey
Palmieri-Pageau-Wahlstrom
Martin-Cizikas-Clutterbuck

Pelech-Pulock
Leddy-Mayfield
Greene-Dobson

Sorokin-Schneider

Your Mod for the evening: @ColePens

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66-30-33

Registered User
Jan 24, 2006
63,199
16,199
Victoria, BC
Survive the 1st and score 1st. Isles will probably put up 25 hits in the 1st so we gotta be ready.

Well they gotta be ready, we don't as we are watching them get hit. Let's take game 3 and 4.
 

Andy99

Registered User
Jun 26, 2017
50,749
32,809
I wonder if tanev has some kind of death metal pure head banging ass rock piped into his helmet... he doesnt need to hear the sounds of the game he let's the rock speak to him.

well, he probably doesn’t have bad disco disguised with Asian cliches in there...
 
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BlindWillyMcHurt

ti kallisti
May 31, 2004
34,285
28,264
I don't even know who Armstrong Cable is but that tracks.

But yeah he was hilariously mouthing that under his breath mic'd up last game. Dude is such a wonderful nutjob.
 

BHD

Vejmelka for Vezina
Dec 27, 2009
38,192
16,604
Moncton, NB
I moved some of the posts to the series thread. This can be opened later in the afternoon (@Scandale du Jour), otherwise the GDT will be full before game time. :laugh:
 
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Big Friggin Dummy

Registered User
Feb 22, 2019
24,402
22,988
@BlindWillyMcHurt I'm just trying to give Geno's line someone who will do the dirty work. Forecheck, puck retrieval, cause a little bit of chaos down low. That's why I want Tanev up there. Geno's absolutely still not healthy enough to play but the series is 1-1 going back to the Island and he's never been one to sit if he has any say in the matter, regardless of his condition. Kap's gotta be the main driver there and that means his all-around game will have to suffer a bit.

Wait, what am I even talking about? You're right, we've got Zucker. That's his game to a T!
 

BlindWillyMcHurt

ti kallisti
May 31, 2004
34,285
28,264
@BlindWillyMcHurt I'm just trying to give Geno's line someone who will do the dirty work. Forecheck, puck retrieval, cause a little bit of chaos down low. That's why I want Tanev up there. Geno's absolutely still not healthy enough to play but the series is 1-1 going back to the Island and he's never been one to sit if he has any say in the matter, regardless of his condition. Kap's gotta be the main driver there and that means his all-around game will have to suffer a bit.

Wait, what am I even talking about? You're right, we've got Zucker. That's his game to a T!

We both know BART is never going to be broken up.

Hell they'll probably hand ZAR a dingdong contract just to keep it together.

Also on a side note... the real, definitely-not-fake Jeff Carter sure has some jokes. It's cool to know that he's such a funny guy. I'm glad the internet showed me this. I will take it to heart.
 
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