Fun Thread: Everybody has a chance to make the Leafs - Shanahan
- Thread starter Pookie
- Start date
Half the posters in this thread will receive an contract offer from Jim Benning. Just wait and see.
AINEC*
AINEC
- Jul 4, 2011
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Benning actually called me a few nights ago saying he was very impressed with my post history. He told me that he had given up a 2nd round draft pick for the opportunity to speak with me regarding a contract. I'm just not sure who he gave it to.
Pookie
Wear a mask
- Oct 23, 2013
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Not to worry. We can generally pick any two numbers at random and divide them to come up with a ratio. That's "advanced" stats.
So your age and weight will give us a CF%RelP60Knockedoffthepuck ratio that will show how your are more likely to keep puck possession when hit.
Pookie
Wear a mask
- Oct 23, 2013
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For all of us trying out, I also move that the Leafs consider their image. We don't need guys being exposed to hotdoggate after practices. Media snapping pictures and all that.
Just bring a cooler of beer and serve hot dogs and chicken wings right in the room before you open the doors to the scrum.
Just bring a cooler of beer and serve hot dogs and chicken wings right in the room before you open the doors to the scrum.
This thread is gold, Jerry! Gold! ... Here is my oversimplified scouting report:
Assets: Consummate team player. Is willing to grow a mullet or mustache for team-building / charity purposes. Has elite calf muscles.
Flaws: Tends to disappear offensively for stretches. Can go 82 games without hitting the score sheet. Isn't a great skater, or in good game shape. Has difficulty skating while stickhandling at the same time.
Career Potential: Future top 10 "embarrassing moments" (or "on-ice injury") highlight reel. Armchair GM.
Assets: Consummate team player. Is willing to grow a mullet or mustache for team-building / charity purposes. Has elite calf muscles.
Flaws: Tends to disappear offensively for stretches. Can go 82 games without hitting the score sheet. Isn't a great skater, or in good game shape. Has difficulty skating while stickhandling at the same time.
Career Potential: Future top 10 "embarrassing moments" (or "on-ice injury") highlight reel. Armchair GM.
slozo
Registered User
Ok coach, put me in!
What do I bring to the table?
- great in the room (can tell amazing jokes, also have the ability to fart on command)
- still in pretty good shape for 42
- always willing to speak to the media
- solid, physical presence along the boards, as long as the guy I'm hitting is standing still
- great at breaking down video
Flaws
- can't skate very fast . . . but I make up for it with how I see the game
- have a terrible shot, but I can block them well with my 6'2" frame
- maneouverability at the pro level might be described as "lethargic", but I can elbow a guy with eyes closed
Oh, and I can't play weekends, I have to take my boy to hockey practice
What do I bring to the table?
- great in the room (can tell amazing jokes, also have the ability to fart on command)
- still in pretty good shape for 42
- always willing to speak to the media
- solid, physical presence along the boards, as long as the guy I'm hitting is standing still
- great at breaking down video
Flaws
- can't skate very fast . . . but I make up for it with how I see the game
- have a terrible shot, but I can block them well with my 6'2" frame
- maneouverability at the pro level might be described as "lethargic", but I can elbow a guy with eyes closed
Oh, and I can't play weekends, I have to take my boy to hockey practice
Mess
Global Moderator
I hate to put any demands on Shanahan, but my Rec league men's team starts up next week again for the season.
So once I have committed to the guys to play this year, I'm not going to leave them shorthanded and join the Leafs organization.
So if I haven't received my PTO by Friday of this week then Shany is SOL for this year, and will have to wait until next year to approach me about joining the team.
So once I have committed to the guys to play this year, I'm not going to leave them shorthanded and join the Leafs organization.
So if I haven't received my PTO by Friday of this week then Shany is SOL for this year, and will have to wait until next year to approach me about joining the team.
Dear Mr Shanaban
As an Englishman I’ll help highlight the sport and the Maple Leaf brand in my homeland, much like that Aussie on the 49ers is doing. Bound to generate loads of Canadian Dollars! It will help you pay for the Nonis blunders.
Admittedly my hockey experience is limited to a bit of field hockey but I can ice skate for a good minute without falling over and that’s without a stick to help prop me up, with a stick I’ll be unplayable. I’ll be honest I can’t skate backwards, but that’s ok that's for cowards.
I have experience shooting the puck, thanks to expert training on my one visit to the HHOF, the disinterested junior attendant in charge of the activity even said he’d seen much worse attempts at scoring and had no tips that could help me. Suggests to me I’m a finished article - an empty moth eaten wallet.
Give me a go Shanny, I’ll bring the veteran presence and importantly a 6’ 4’’ frame to offset all the short-arsed rookies. I'll promise to only come into training stinking of alcohol a couple of times a week.
Also - The Queen says hi.
As an Englishman I’ll help highlight the sport and the Maple Leaf brand in my homeland, much like that Aussie on the 49ers is doing. Bound to generate loads of Canadian Dollars! It will help you pay for the Nonis blunders.
Admittedly my hockey experience is limited to a bit of field hockey but I can ice skate for a good minute without falling over and that’s without a stick to help prop me up, with a stick I’ll be unplayable. I’ll be honest I can’t skate backwards, but that’s ok that's for cowards.
I have experience shooting the puck, thanks to expert training on my one visit to the HHOF, the disinterested junior attendant in charge of the activity even said he’d seen much worse attempts at scoring and had no tips that could help me. Suggests to me I’m a finished article - an empty moth eaten wallet.
Give me a go Shanny, I’ll bring the veteran presence and importantly a 6’ 4’’ frame to offset all the short-arsed rookies. I'll promise to only come into training stinking of alcohol a couple of times a week.
Also - The Queen says hi.
cupcrazyman
Stupid Sexy Flanders
I used to score all the time during street hockey. My trash talk would also make Sean Avery look like a Lady Byng winner.
