f it here's a book.
I have a history of depression/suicidal thoughts. When you work through that stuff you learn to evaluate what is a positive in your life and what is a negative. I learned to shed the negative and am much happier now. Don't want sympathy just want people to understand where I'm coming from.
It is not fun to be a capitals fan.
I honestly can't even explain to anyone or myself why I watch the games.
First, hockey in general is not very much fun to watch. More than any other sport it relies on bounces to decide contests. I can deal with this when the team is either extremely hard working or creative. Only hard working and creative don't win you anything. In fact it gets you told over and over that your playing wrong.
There is no joy in being a fan of this team. Our "rivals" are a team with multiple cups, multiple generational hall of fame players and an incessant love from commentators who almost to a one have a past involvement with the franchise.
We are the biggest "chokers", "losers", "failures". Win a playoff game in overtime but you can't enjoy it because "you never should have been in ot against the team". Lose a playoff game in overtime " they outworked you, they have a playoff gear, they are warriors."
Dominate regular season, doesn't matter. Have a great competitive playoff series, doesn't matter. The choker label doesn't wash easy. Which for a player must be hard but as a fan is brutal. You don't get paid. You get pride for a win, you get heartbreak for a loss. When fans, media, anxiety, no longer allow for the pride what is the point?
It's the high you feel when they give you just a little hope. It's the expectation that eventually it will be okay and living through this part will make that part sweeter.
It's a toxic relationship. I gave those up.
So I think I'm done. If I'm honest I probably stopped actually enjoying the mechanics of hockey a long time ago. I'm not giving up on the team. I hope they win out and raise the cup. But even if they do i don't think it will actually mean anything to me. Maybe taking a step back will rekindle my love of the sport not the team.
This was a hard fought game we lost on a bad bounce. Anyone who tells you otherwise doesn't have your best interest at heart. Good game, tough loss.
sorry for so much text no one cares about. Just needed to write it down.
I'll check for a reply cause I can't help myself, otherwise good luck to you all I hope the next few weeks are awesome for you because of or despite what happens with this team. But I'm done lurking on here everyday.
