The Laws Of Oiler Hockey
1. All former Oilers traded from or unsigned by the Oilers shall score at will with their new teams. In the case of goaltenders they shall improve their save percentage by +100.
2. All former Oilers shall always score on the Oilers when they play the Oilers. In the case of former goaltenders they shall never lose in regulation to the Oilers.
3. All NHL rookies shall score their first ever career goal when they play the Oilers while all Oiler rookies shall struggle to make the line up. In the case of goalies they shall shut out the Oilers.
4. All NHL players mired in severe scoring slumps shall score on the Oilers when they play the Oilers. In the case of goalies mired in severe winless streaks they shall win when they play the Oilers.
5. All players traded to or free agents signed by the Oilers shall cease and desist with any and all consistent form of scoring in any shape or form. In the case of goaltenders their save % shall drop by -100.