Advices for hockey parents - What to do, What to refuse.
- Thread starter alko
- Start date
Don't start them too early. Make sure they want to play before they start. Work on skating before anything else.
Crosbyfan
Registered User
- Nov 27, 2003
- 12,672
- 2,497
As Bob Mackenzie joked in his Crazy Hockey Dad Book "They should probably learn to walk first...though it is not a hard fast rule..."
Based Anime Fan
Himedanshi Bandit
Biggest thing I can offer is from the coaching/reffing aspect:
It's a game. A game on ice. Not a war, not a job.
Let your kid have fun. Nothing ever bothers me more than seeing a kid having fun on the ice, and his or her parents giving them the barrels about not scoring the goals, or not trying hard enough, or my personal favourite, telling them how to play.
You paid for the kid to play on a team. Let the coaches/refs teach the kid right from wrong. Let the kid relax at the games; don't yell.
Which brings me to:
Sit in the stands and watch. Cheer when needed, but don't be THAT parent that every kid hates. Don't insult the other players and parents. Don't be a large mouth braggart. Don't yell at the ref when your kid gets an infraction. Don't yell at the coach that your kid should be on the ice the whole game. Let the coaches/refs do their job.
And finally:
Remember this is your kid. Not you. Don't live vicariously through your kid. If you never had the chance to play hockey as a kid, don't force your kid to play against their will. If you can't play and you're telling your kid what to do, you look like an idiot. If you're so sure of your hockey intelligence, learn to play yourself. Learn to skate, pass, shoot, hit, whatever. Until you can do so, stay out of the game and let them play. That's the hint, PLAY. It's a game.
It's a game. A game on ice. Not a war, not a job.
Let your kid have fun. Nothing ever bothers me more than seeing a kid having fun on the ice, and his or her parents giving them the barrels about not scoring the goals, or not trying hard enough, or my personal favourite, telling them how to play.
You paid for the kid to play on a team. Let the coaches/refs teach the kid right from wrong. Let the kid relax at the games; don't yell.
Which brings me to:
Sit in the stands and watch. Cheer when needed, but don't be THAT parent that every kid hates. Don't insult the other players and parents. Don't be a large mouth braggart. Don't yell at the ref when your kid gets an infraction. Don't yell at the coach that your kid should be on the ice the whole game. Let the coaches/refs do their job.
And finally:
Remember this is your kid. Not you. Don't live vicariously through your kid. If you never had the chance to play hockey as a kid, don't force your kid to play against their will. If you can't play and you're telling your kid what to do, you look like an idiot. If you're so sure of your hockey intelligence, learn to play yourself. Learn to skate, pass, shoot, hit, whatever. Until you can do so, stay out of the game and let them play. That's the hint, PLAY. It's a game.
As someone who grew up being embarrassed of my parents being in the stands and lowering my eyes and turning red when they cheered for me, I can honestly say I was always secretly happy to have them there and have their support.
Make sure you watch them play. Everyone covers the obvious... don't be a crazy hockey mom/dad, but it'll mean the world to your kid if you show up and watch him, even if just now and again when you have the time. It's cool to score a big goal or make a big play and then be able to excitedly talk about it with your folks on the car ride home if they were there to see it.
Make sure you watch them play. Everyone covers the obvious... don't be a crazy hockey mom/dad, but it'll mean the world to your kid if you show up and watch him, even if just now and again when you have the time. It's cool to score a big goal or make a big play and then be able to excitedly talk about it with your folks on the car ride home if they were there to see it.
GinoLucia2217
Great Plains
Your think for someone in your business you'd prefer them buy the high end gear.
Not a parent but the thing that you should do for your kid first is make sure they learn to skate. Skating is the greatest ability in hockey.
Barring they want to play, and its not forced upon them-
Have fun. Plain and simple. Go out and have fun.
Have fun. Plain and simple. Go out and have fun.
AIREAYE
Registered User
- Jun 7, 2009
- 4,885
- 70
Why would I prefer them to buy high end gear? I want to get them the right level of gear for their abilities as well as sell them (parents) what they want ultimately.
I get no kickbacks, no retailer does as far as I know.
GinoLucia2217
Great Plains
Good for you being the person that wants the players and parents happy with what they are getting.
Bear of Bad News
Your Third or Fourth Favorite HFBoards Admin
- Sep 27, 2005
- 13,603
- 27,407
Corollary: if they want to be a goaltender, work on skating before anything else.
Volunteer if at all possible, even if you don't have hockey experience. It's not that hard to be a team manager, treasurer, trainer, web-master, or on-ice helper. You don't have to play hockey yourself, or have much experience, you can basically learn as you go, particularly if we're just talking house-league. It gets you more invested in the experience, your son/daughter will probably appreciate it (especially if they're younger) and it helps the team and league.
Find the middle ground where you're taking it seriously enough, but not too seriously.
Take part in tournaments, especially out-of-town tournaments; even if you're in house league you should have opportunities. They are almost always a lot of fun and a good social experience for kids and parents alike.
Find the middle ground where you're taking it seriously enough, but not too seriously.
Take part in tournaments, especially out-of-town tournaments; even if you're in house league you should have opportunities. They are almost always a lot of fun and a good social experience for kids and parents alike.
Absolutely! My daughter made the move from a general skater in whatever position the coach put her in to net several months ago. She put in a lot of ice time at a summer hockey camp (I worked there, so the side bonus was she got nearly 3 hours of ice every day for free) and she got pretty good in net. But the number one thing that people notices about her is that she's a good skater. Even in full pads, she can skate faster and better than a lot of the other kids on her team.
The goalie-specific stuff can come later, but if you can't skate decently, you won't be very good in net either.
When I am a parent, and its not too much longer down the road and I hope to have quite a few, I plan to do this to some degree:
1) Nutrition will be a big part of my family. Balanced diet of fresh foods, limited to processed foods, fresh veggies and fruit and mostly home cooked. Hopefully ill have my dream garden as well. I grew up in a Mediterranean family, a lot of home cooking but we also brought home a lot of junk. Its not that I will say NO desserts to my kids but there will be limits and the desserts we do have will be as paleo as possible. And limited sugar. I will clearly explain to them the issues with too much sugar. People use to tell me I was deprived as a kid from not having pop tarts until I was in college... yea... that really deprived me. No fast food though.
2) Hockey - Its not that I will force my kids into hockey but I watch a lot of it, I attend a lot of games for different ages, I play a lot. I hope to have a lot of memorabilia. I hope to have a net and play at home a lot. I hope to live near a rink and take my family skating a lot. Bring them into my joys. Naturally I think that will make my kids like the game more.
I wont get them into organized hockey until 5 6 or 7. But doesnt mean before then I wont be buying my babies toy sticks and floor hockey sticks or small cut hockey sticks to play with in the house. Mess around with. Saw Gretzky as a 2 yr old playing with a stick and rolled up socks with his grandma. Why cant I let mine do the same? For the fun of it. Get them on the ice as much as possible when there kids.
When it comes to pretty much anything the idea for me to introduce my kids to things early. Show them addition before they get into school. Show them square roots a year early then they are expected to know it. Even if they dont quite get it at that time, they will have an easier time picking it up when its reintroduced to them in an organized manner like school. or in this case sports.
And it may be a while before I put them into any paid professional training lessons for it. Ive been in these classes and they are great. But at a young age like before there teens... I will be doing the drills. My dad paid a very hefty amount for me to take lessons with a power skating coach. For 20 minutes all I did was skate hard in the places she pointed to. I think I am equipped to handle this for a few years with my children once a week for 20 minutes. Or whatever. ill make it more fun to including more edge work, med balls, resistance stuff and obstacle courses.
3) Athleticism. - I will be sure to introduce all my kids into a variety of sports. Generally I will put them into gymnastics classes and soccer teams. As they get older if they do want to try out other sports I will put them into it even if it means they dont want hockey as much. But I will start them off in gymnastics, soccer besides hockey.
I will wrestle with them. I will play this game I did with my dad where we would push each other to one side of the room. All of it helped with body control, leg power, balance. It was fun too. Knock my 200lb dad off the bed when I was 7 was no easy task even if he laid like a log.
Play basketball in the front yard. Play a variety of different sports with all my kids. Starting as early as possible. Being active is a great way for kids to grow athleticism and fitness without making it seem like a drill. Differ sports offer differ things to athletes.
Another thing I know I want to do is have my kids start off with a wood stick. Its the best for them to get the understanding of feeling the puck. A stiffer stick and heavier stick will help them develop. And I want it to be a pretty flat curve, not a coffey curve. So that they become a two way player. Fore and back hand. not just be comfortable with their forehand.
1) Nutrition will be a big part of my family. Balanced diet of fresh foods, limited to processed foods, fresh veggies and fruit and mostly home cooked. Hopefully ill have my dream garden as well. I grew up in a Mediterranean family, a lot of home cooking but we also brought home a lot of junk. Its not that I will say NO desserts to my kids but there will be limits and the desserts we do have will be as paleo as possible. And limited sugar. I will clearly explain to them the issues with too much sugar. People use to tell me I was deprived as a kid from not having pop tarts until I was in college... yea... that really deprived me. No fast food though.
2) Hockey - Its not that I will force my kids into hockey but I watch a lot of it, I attend a lot of games for different ages, I play a lot. I hope to have a lot of memorabilia. I hope to have a net and play at home a lot. I hope to live near a rink and take my family skating a lot. Bring them into my joys. Naturally I think that will make my kids like the game more.
I wont get them into organized hockey until 5 6 or 7. But doesnt mean before then I wont be buying my babies toy sticks and floor hockey sticks or small cut hockey sticks to play with in the house. Mess around with. Saw Gretzky as a 2 yr old playing with a stick and rolled up socks with his grandma. Why cant I let mine do the same? For the fun of it. Get them on the ice as much as possible when there kids.
When it comes to pretty much anything the idea for me to introduce my kids to things early. Show them addition before they get into school. Show them square roots a year early then they are expected to know it. Even if they dont quite get it at that time, they will have an easier time picking it up when its reintroduced to them in an organized manner like school. or in this case sports.
And it may be a while before I put them into any paid professional training lessons for it. Ive been in these classes and they are great. But at a young age like before there teens... I will be doing the drills. My dad paid a very hefty amount for me to take lessons with a power skating coach. For 20 minutes all I did was skate hard in the places she pointed to. I think I am equipped to handle this for a few years with my children once a week for 20 minutes. Or whatever. ill make it more fun to including more edge work, med balls, resistance stuff and obstacle courses.
3) Athleticism. - I will be sure to introduce all my kids into a variety of sports. Generally I will put them into gymnastics classes and soccer teams. As they get older if they do want to try out other sports I will put them into it even if it means they dont want hockey as much. But I will start them off in gymnastics, soccer besides hockey.
I will wrestle with them. I will play this game I did with my dad where we would push each other to one side of the room. All of it helped with body control, leg power, balance. It was fun too. Knock my 200lb dad off the bed when I was 7 was no easy task even if he laid like a log.
Play basketball in the front yard. Play a variety of different sports with all my kids. Starting as early as possible. Being active is a great way for kids to grow athleticism and fitness without making it seem like a drill. Differ sports offer differ things to athletes.
Another thing I know I want to do is have my kids start off with a wood stick. Its the best for them to get the understanding of feeling the puck. A stiffer stick and heavier stick will help them develop. And I want it to be a pretty flat curve, not a coffey curve. So that they become a two way player. Fore and back hand. not just be comfortable with their forehand.
CornKicker
Holland is wrong..except all of the good things
- Feb 18, 2005
- 12,040
- 3,441
as a parent, kick back encourage your kid to try their hardest and I always get my kids (biological and the other kids i coach) to try something they have never tried every time they are on the ice. even simple little tricks like toe drags or dekeing on one foot etc etc it doesnt matter what it is you just want them to do something they havent done before and feel that sense of accomplishment.
As a guy who worked in a rink for 3 years in his college years and had an ample opportunity to observe hockey parents: do not be the guy that yells at: 1) his own kid on the ice; 2) his kid's teammates on the ice; 3) opposing kids on the ice; 4) the Ref on the ice; and most importantly, no matter how idiotic or belligerent they are, 5) other parents in the stands.
In my 3 years at the rink, we had to throw violent parents out of the rink more times than I can count... and the cops were frequently called.
Don't be that guy.
In my 3 years at the rink, we had to throw violent parents out of the rink more times than I can count... and the cops were frequently called.
Don't be that guy.
I was with you until #5. I think there is a responsibility at times to call out beligerent parents. It may be with a quiet word but it may not be. People need to speak out.
As someone who has coached minor hockey for the last 8 years, often times 2 teams a year:
-For the love of god, please DO NOT coach from the stands. Do not yell instructions at your child or anyone else on the team. Every year, there's always 1 dad who thinks he can control the kids on the ice almost like he's playing a video game by yelling instructions at them. The most frequent one is "GO GET HIM!!!" while we're on the penalty kill. Or "SHOOT!" when we're trying to set up on the powerplay. No, stop it. You aren't helping! All you are doing is confusing the kids. You do not know what the coach wants or what he is teaching.
-Do not freak out if your kid misses a shift or two, or does happen to get benched. Wait until you have spoken to your child before you lose your cool and demand to see the coach. I've had a parent freak out before and come storming at me after a game because little johnny didn't play in the last 5 minutes. Turns out little johnny wasn't feeling well and couldn't go on the ice.
Or another example from last season... One of our best defenseman was having a horrible game, it happens. Head coach decided to sit him for the last 7 minutes of the game. After the game, we spoke to the player, explained why he sat, he understood and left the arena with a smile on his face. Meanwhile, his dad has already freaked out on the manager and demanded a meeting with the coaches. So, talk to your kid before you ask to meet the coach.
-Do not yell at or insult the referee. That's the coach's job! All kidding aside, it does no good. The referee isn't going to all of a sudden start being a better referee because you insulted him or swore at him. Most of the time, it'll just result in more penalties against your team. Also, think of what this says to your kid on the ice. As a coach, we try to teach the players to respect the referee's, not to argue with them, be discplined, etc. It's hard to do that when mommy and daddy are standing on their seats telling the ref they're going to meet him in the parking lot after the game.
-If your child is hurt, do not go running down behind the bench to go check on him. All you're going to do is embarrass him...If there is something serious the coach will call you down.
-For the love of god, please DO NOT coach from the stands. Do not yell instructions at your child or anyone else on the team. Every year, there's always 1 dad who thinks he can control the kids on the ice almost like he's playing a video game by yelling instructions at them. The most frequent one is "GO GET HIM!!!" while we're on the penalty kill. Or "SHOOT!" when we're trying to set up on the powerplay. No, stop it. You aren't helping! All you are doing is confusing the kids. You do not know what the coach wants or what he is teaching.
-Do not freak out if your kid misses a shift or two, or does happen to get benched. Wait until you have spoken to your child before you lose your cool and demand to see the coach. I've had a parent freak out before and come storming at me after a game because little johnny didn't play in the last 5 minutes. Turns out little johnny wasn't feeling well and couldn't go on the ice.
Or another example from last season... One of our best defenseman was having a horrible game, it happens. Head coach decided to sit him for the last 7 minutes of the game. After the game, we spoke to the player, explained why he sat, he understood and left the arena with a smile on his face. Meanwhile, his dad has already freaked out on the manager and demanded a meeting with the coaches. So, talk to your kid before you ask to meet the coach.
-Do not yell at or insult the referee. That's the coach's job! All kidding aside, it does no good. The referee isn't going to all of a sudden start being a better referee because you insulted him or swore at him. Most of the time, it'll just result in more penalties against your team. Also, think of what this says to your kid on the ice. As a coach, we try to teach the players to respect the referee's, not to argue with them, be discplined, etc. It's hard to do that when mommy and daddy are standing on their seats telling the ref they're going to meet him in the parking lot after the game.
-If your child is hurt, do not go running down behind the bench to go check on him. All you're going to do is embarrass him...If there is something serious the coach will call you down.
GinoLucia2217
Great Plains
What was able to set me apart from the rest and give me a head start at an early age was this. When I was 5 I loved hockey. Of course t that age they don't have very much ice time for you throughout the year so any day of the week whenever I wanted to play hockey my dad would take me I the outdoor rink and let me skate for a couple hours. Just about every day from November-March
He would sit in the car for hours reading the newspaper and listening to the radio while I played and I thank him so much for that. You can do your part by giving then te edge early on if your kid wants to play and enjoys it.
He would sit in the car for hours reading the newspaper and listening to the radio while I played and I thank him so much for that. You can do your part by giving then te edge early on if your kid wants to play and enjoys it.
GinoLucia2217
Great Plains
in seeing some great posts in this thread. Agree so much with the whole "don't be that parent that yells at everything going on". Be supportive and cheer talk with the parents of the other parents. Cheer hen appropriate and be quiet when appropriate
The original poster was from Slovakia, and they may not have quite the insanity that we have in Toronto in the competitive, expensive, everybody thinks their kid is the next Crosby way. In some other regions like warm weather climates or non traditional hockey markets there may not be a lot of options. But there probably are some general truths.
1. Little Timmy is not going to make the NHL. Don't act as though his career is at stake with every issue in an Atom game.
2. It is supposed to be fun. But like learning a musical instrument, getting the basics down can be a chore. You may have to encourage kids to get up early for practice or go to skating lessons. And a 7 year old isn't even the best judge of what he wants to be when he is 9. So there may be some gentle coercion and gritting your teeth needed to get the kid to lay the groundwork for fun later. If your kid wants to give up mid-way through his first season, you probably owe it to him not to let him quit that easily. If you are three or four seasons in and he wants to stop, so be it.
3. Get them on skates as early as possible. Just recreational skating of any kind. The sooner they start getting comfortable the sooner they can put thinking about the mechanics of not falling over out of their minds and concentrate on developing other skills.
4. No one needs a $300 hockey stick. Not even in the NHL. Also refer to #1.
5. If the league is 20 times as expensive as House League, is it 20 times as much fun? Is each A in the Division worth a 400% increase? Low stress, non-insane House league is your friend.
6. If the league wants to charge $7 admission for each of her mom, dad and little brother to see her game, consider playing elsewhere. Also consider kicking them in the nuts.
7. If the League is not for profit but the Teams comprising the league are run as separate businesses, consider playing elsewhere. Also if any person "owns" more than one team, consider those implications.
8. Know your kid. Would he find dad as coach a bonding experience or embarrassing?
9. Don't buy the absolute cheapest gear but don't go nuts. Adapt to the situation. You need better protective gear when hitting is introduced, or when they start shooting pucks hard enough to hurt.
10. Don't live vicariously through the kid.
11. Talk about the game or practice after the game or practice. Not yelling from the stands. Be constructive. Be contextual - what his teammates were doing, what the coach wanted them to do - not just focused on them.
12. Chill. Watch hockey with your kids. As much as possible, just chill.
1. Little Timmy is not going to make the NHL. Don't act as though his career is at stake with every issue in an Atom game.
2. It is supposed to be fun. But like learning a musical instrument, getting the basics down can be a chore. You may have to encourage kids to get up early for practice or go to skating lessons. And a 7 year old isn't even the best judge of what he wants to be when he is 9. So there may be some gentle coercion and gritting your teeth needed to get the kid to lay the groundwork for fun later. If your kid wants to give up mid-way through his first season, you probably owe it to him not to let him quit that easily. If you are three or four seasons in and he wants to stop, so be it.
3. Get them on skates as early as possible. Just recreational skating of any kind. The sooner they start getting comfortable the sooner they can put thinking about the mechanics of not falling over out of their minds and concentrate on developing other skills.
4. No one needs a $300 hockey stick. Not even in the NHL. Also refer to #1.
5. If the league is 20 times as expensive as House League, is it 20 times as much fun? Is each A in the Division worth a 400% increase? Low stress, non-insane House league is your friend.
6. If the league wants to charge $7 admission for each of her mom, dad and little brother to see her game, consider playing elsewhere. Also consider kicking them in the nuts.
7. If the League is not for profit but the Teams comprising the league are run as separate businesses, consider playing elsewhere. Also if any person "owns" more than one team, consider those implications.
8. Know your kid. Would he find dad as coach a bonding experience or embarrassing?
9. Don't buy the absolute cheapest gear but don't go nuts. Adapt to the situation. You need better protective gear when hitting is introduced, or when they start shooting pucks hard enough to hurt.
10. Don't live vicariously through the kid.
11. Talk about the game or practice after the game or practice. Not yelling from the stands. Be constructive. Be contextual - what his teammates were doing, what the coach wanted them to do - not just focused on them.
12. Chill. Watch hockey with your kids. As much as possible, just chill.
Swept In Seven
Disciple of The Zook
- Apr 27, 2010
- 9,687
- 1
As somebody that has literally grown up playing hockey (since I was 3), even if I don't have children yet, this is how I would treat the situation.
1) Let your kid decide if he wants to play, do not force it on him. Let him develop a love for the game. Let him play other sports as well, not only does it help his hockey skills but it promotes physical activity and dexterity.
2) He will love what you love, all kids want to do the things their fathers do. Don't just send him to practices/games, actively engage with him or he will burnout from the sport quickly. Play with him, stick and pucks and what have you, have fun with your boy. Nothing will ever top the fun that he will have playing the sport that he loves with his father and those memories are something he will carry with him throughout his life. Watch games with him, grow his love for the game
3) Don't try and bump him up tiers/leagues. Let him play house league before travel so he can get a feel for the game. As he gets older experience gained playing 1st line on a AA team rather than 4th line on a AAA team is much more important to development. Know that he most likely isn't going pro, have him play where he will play the most.
4) Don't buy him top of the line equipment. Imo the only thing that you should splurge on is skates, they generally last a couple years if you buy a half size larger than he needs so he can grow in to them. As for sticks, they will break often especially as he gets older. Make him work for them if he wants top of the line; mow the lawn, do the dishes, whatever. Just make sure that his gear is comfortable on him, it doesn't have to cost a fortune.
5) Do not be a ****** hockey parent. Don't be that guy who screams at refs, coaches, fights other parents, ect.. Don't ***** at coaches because your kid isn't seeing enough ice time, your kid needs to understand that he needs to work hard and put in effort to move up in the lineup. Don't talk **** about other kids, that is unnecessary. Generally be hands off when it comes to team stuff.
Hockey is supposed to be fun, don't sap the fun out of the game for your kid
1) Let your kid decide if he wants to play, do not force it on him. Let him develop a love for the game. Let him play other sports as well, not only does it help his hockey skills but it promotes physical activity and dexterity.
2) He will love what you love, all kids want to do the things their fathers do. Don't just send him to practices/games, actively engage with him or he will burnout from the sport quickly. Play with him, stick and pucks and what have you, have fun with your boy. Nothing will ever top the fun that he will have playing the sport that he loves with his father and those memories are something he will carry with him throughout his life. Watch games with him, grow his love for the game
3) Don't try and bump him up tiers/leagues. Let him play house league before travel so he can get a feel for the game. As he gets older experience gained playing 1st line on a AA team rather than 4th line on a AAA team is much more important to development. Know that he most likely isn't going pro, have him play where he will play the most.
4) Don't buy him top of the line equipment. Imo the only thing that you should splurge on is skates, they generally last a couple years if you buy a half size larger than he needs so he can grow in to them. As for sticks, they will break often especially as he gets older. Make him work for them if he wants top of the line; mow the lawn, do the dishes, whatever. Just make sure that his gear is comfortable on him, it doesn't have to cost a fortune.
5) Do not be a ****** hockey parent. Don't be that guy who screams at refs, coaches, fights other parents, ect.. Don't ***** at coaches because your kid isn't seeing enough ice time, your kid needs to understand that he needs to work hard and put in effort to move up in the lineup. Don't talk **** about other kids, that is unnecessary. Generally be hands off when it comes to team stuff.
Hockey is supposed to be fun, don't sap the fun out of the game for your kid
Last edited:
Ad
Upcoming events
-
-
-
Game 3 WALTER CUP FINAL - Boston @ Minnesota - Series tied 1-1Wagers: 1Staked: $200.00Event closes- Updated:
-
Game 4 Milwaukee Admirals @ Grand Rapids Griffins - Milwaukee Admirals leads series 2-1Wagers: 1Staked: $100.00Event closes- Updated:
-
