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OT: 94th Obsequious Banter Thread: Where Ryan Ellis Performs Nightly

(See post #4) Our power is immense. What shall we do?

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Surrounded By Ahos

Surrounded By Ahos

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Beef Invictus said:
I recently got into bed and once I was settled, let rip an enormous and seemingly endless fart. It was like my butt was yodeling. My first hint something was amiss was when the dogs scampered away and one of them coughed. When one of them came out of the covers to flee, it lifted them and released the fart. Beefette was lightly snoring, and I could tell when she sucked some of it down because she reacted like she'd been slapped. The stench snapped her awake and was so powerfully awful that she first went through a mild panic out of confusion, before turning to rage. If I bring it up she gets immediately angry and rants about it being one of the worst experiences of her life.
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This reminds me of the time we visited King's Dominion, which is about a three hour drive from Raleigh. I forget what she ate, but on the drive home, my sister was ripping some gnarly farts like clockwork. Every 15 minutes or so, she'd just start giggling in the backseat. I would then, in the front seat, open the window and stick my head out as far as possible, and I could still smell taste it. Driving down I-95, going probably 85 miles per hour, I had my head out the window like a dog, because that was preferable to huffing her farts. I'll have to ask her if she remembers it next time I see her. She was quite proud at the time.
 
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Beef Invictus

Beef Invictus

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We have barely elected to eat the candy. That's a good idea. As you'll remember from the lore, the bone tree was made of sacrificial bones. The candy was made of the congealed souls of sacrifices. Sacrifices power things. Probably a good thing we didn't hand over this power-up.

That power is now surging through our shattered bodies. Strength fills us. Our bones knit. The internal bleeding stops. We grow new teeth. We are a rippling mass of muscle and brute strength. We have absorbed enough sacrificial power to become a demigod. A troll moves towards us; we promptly pull its head off.

The Stone King trembles. He knows his moment has past. He is no longer the most powerful being in his mountain domain.
 
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Jack Straw

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Beef Invictus said:
We have barely elected to eat the candy. That's a good idea. As you'll remember from the lore, the bone tree was made of sacrificial bones. The candy was made of the congealed souls of sacrifices. Sacrifices power things. Probably a good thing we didn't hand over this power-up.

That power is now surging through our shattered bodies. Strength fills us. Our bones knit. The internal bleeding stops. We grow new teeth. We are a rippling mass of muscle and brute strength. We have absorbed enough sacrificial power to become a demigod. A troll moves towards us; we promptly pull its head off.

The Stone King trembles. He knows his moment has past. He is no longer the most powerful being in his mountain domain.
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What about the gas though? Eating something that potent has got to produce some pretty noxious flatulence. Especially given the stories we’ve been getting from some of the subjects in this lab experiment.
 
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Cody Webster

Cody Webster

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Wow, glad I went back and read the last few pages of OB 93...that was a great read....

I definitely have some stomach issues that I've never seen a doctor for, and have had my fair share of close calls.

The most recent one was when I was out in San Diego on vacation with my girlfriend. I golfed at Torry Pines earlier in the day and then we went on a hike. I walked almost 20 miles that day and was exhausted. After our hike, we went down to La Jolla and grabbed some lunch at a bar, and I got a burger. After eating, we did some more walking and walked down to the water to see the seals. The poop rumbles began. There was nothing but porta potty's around and I wanted none of that. We got back to the car and decided to go grocery shopping to get some snacks for the hotel room. We knew what we needed, so I figured it'd be quick. We are walking around and it was coming on stronger. We're finally in line checking out and the poop contractions are getting shorter. It was about a 15 minute ride from the grocery store back to the hotel and I had no desire to poop in the grocery store so I told myself I could hold it. We start driving down the road and proceed to hit every red light. The poop contractions continue to get closer together. We finally get on the highway, and being in another state, I wasn't really sure where to get off to try and find a gas station. I had my eyes survey the exit signs, but didn't see anything. There were a few times during that car ride back to the hotel I thought I was going to shit myself in this rental car with my girlfriend in the passenger seat, which would have been absolutely humiliating. We're driving down the final street, hotel in sight, and I tell her I am pulling this car up to the front of the hotel, jumping out and making a dash for the hotel lobby. By the grace of god, I made it. I blew up that hotel lobby toilet and never felt so relieved. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders knowing I made it and didn't shit myself in the rental car.

There was a place my friends and I would frequent a lot back in high school, and we'd always get the chicken fingers in fries, we call it the poo-poo platter. There were many times where it'd be a race to get home before you shit yourself, and the place was only like 5 minutes from my house. There were a few close calls with that too, and I think even a stop or two at a Wawa bathroom because I knew I wasn't going to be able to make it.
 
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Starat327

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Cody Webster said:
Wow, glad I went back and read the last few pages of OB 93...that was a great read....

I definitely have some stomach issues that I've never seen a doctor for, and have had my fair share of close calls.

The most recent one was when I was out in San Diego on vacation with my girlfriend. I golfed at Torry Pines earlier in the day and then we went on a hike. I walked almost 20 miles that day and was exhausted. After our hike, we went down to La Jolla and grabbed some lunch at a bar, and I got a burger. After eating, we did some more walking and walked down to the water to see the seals. The poop rumbles began. There was nothing but porta potty's around and I wanted none of that. We got back to the car and decided to go grocery shopping to get some snacks for the hotel room. We knew what we needed, so I figured it'd be quick. We are walking around and it was coming on stronger. We're finally in line checking out and the poop contractions are getting shorter. It was about a 15 minute ride from the grocery store back to the hotel and I had no desire to poop in the grocery store so I told myself I could hold it. We start driving down the road and proceed to hit every red light. The poop contractions continue to get closer together. We finally get on the highway, and being in another state, I wasn't really sure where to get off to try and find a gas station. I had my eyes survey the exit signs, but didn't see anything. There were a few times during that car ride back to the hotel I thought I was going to shit myself in this rental car with my girlfriend in the passenger seat, which would have been absolutely humiliating. We're driving down the final street, hotel in sight, and I tell her I am pulling this car up to the front of the hotel, jumping out and making a dash for the hotel lobby. By the grace of god, I made it. I blew up that hotel lobby toilet and never felt so relieved. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders knowing I made it and didn't shit myself in the rental car.

There was a place my friends and I would frequent a lot back in high school, and we'd always get the chicken fingers in fries, we call it the poo-poo platter. There were many times where it'd be a race to get home before you shit yourself, and the place was only like 5 minutes from my house. There were a few close calls with that too, and I think even a stop or two at a Wawa bathroom because I knew I wasn't going to be able to make it.
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"This thing makes me shit myself, I'm going to get it again" is some next level logic, Cody
 
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Cody Webster

Cody Webster

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Starat327 said:
"This thing makes me shit myself, I'm going to get it again" is some next level logic, Cody
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The chicken fingers and fries were so good though.

The place was called Stadium Grille. Im sure there are some people from here that were there before. Sadly, they closed down about eight years ago. Them closing had nothing to do with the poo poo'ing
 
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BernieParent

BernieParent

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Captain Dave Poulin said:
Snakes have no compassion. I am trying to save your life - listen to me.
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iu
 
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