Firstly I know its mostly gallows humor, but really four pages of so called "comical" posts to a serious question by the OP is a bit much.
What to do....
a) Stay the course with the coach. Its outright ridiculous to suggest that a fifth coaching change is necessary. Utterly stupid suggestion - after eight games, and four coaching changes to even entertain the though. Idiotic posters.
b) Change the penalty killing. The Oilers are near dead last with their penalty killing. I'm utterly unconvinced that having Hemsky or any offensive forward has helped the penalty killing this year.
c) Waive/buyout Steve MacIntyre. It was an utterly stupid, reactionary move by Mact to pick up this guy. What does it matter? BECAUSE ITS AN EXTRA CONTRACT and the Oilers are now stuck at 49 contracts. They can only have 50. In order to get more guys, they need contract flexibility.
d) Call up a defender from AHL. I see that the Oilers have recalled Grebeshkov. Sit out one of the defenders - Justin Schultz in particular has been wretched in his own zone. Have him watch the game, and game tape, and take a lesser role (i.e. not top 4) but give him oodles of PP minutes. He was not ready for top 4 last year and the team suffered for it, he still is not ready for top 4 minutes this year.
e) Bring in Jose Theodore for a look-see. Is he better than Dubnyk? Maybe not - but he's probably better than Labarbera, and can hopefully push Dubnyk as 1b goaltender. It will cost zero in assets.
f) Wait for injured players to return. Will Sam Gagner help? Jesse Joensuu probably will. Heck, will Corey Potter help?
g) need more guys who can play with grit, block a shot, play two way hockey. Who is that guy? New York Rangers, Buffalo Sabres, Philly Flyers, New Jersey Devils are four teams who are in the same boat as Edmonton.
NYR's Dan Girardi is a UFA, paid 3.325 M. He's a genuine top 4 guy, who can do everything. I doubt NYR would be interested in Schultz and Petry would be too much to give up for a UFA. Would Musil be of interest?
Buffalo - no on Vanek, no on Miller. Too much money, too much to give up for two UFAs. Buffalo's Marcus Foligno hasn't put up the points and is a RFA. Could he be a big body winger that could help? Henrik Tallinder is tempting as a veteran top 4 defender who is UFA. Steve Ott is a UFA, but I'm assuming a lot of teams will pay more than the Oil for Ott if he was available.
Philly - No on Scott Hartnell. Like the player, but he's getting injury prone and he's getting paid 4.75 Million for the next SIX years. SIX! He's 31 now, that's a cap killer contract. Brayden Schenn or Maxime Talbot are the guys that the Oilers should be looking at, but I just can't see Philly wanting to give up these guys. Would I do a Nick Schultz for Andrez Meszaros trade (UFA for UFA)? Maybe - but would Philly?