Movies: Last Movie You Watched and Rate it | {Insert Appropriate Seasonal Greeting Here}

[KallioWeHardlyKnewYe]

I was watching a doc series called Reel Britannia over the weekend about the history of British film from the 60s to the present. It's solid. Kinda rapid-fire wikipedia at times, but they'll hit pause and dig a little into mini-movements or studios or filmmakers at moments. Solid info and a bit of a sense of humor. At one point near the end of episode one they bring up Ken Russell and the voice over says, "I haven't got the energy to explain Ken Russell so that'll have to wait until part 2," which made me laugh.

The side joy of docs like this (In Search of Darkness, Not Quite Hollywood, etc.) is that they'll inevitably hit on filmmakers or films you haven't seen or maybe even heard of and the brief snippet makes you put it on your watch list.

Well the first discovery here which I immediately watched was Apaches. It's a late 70s PSA that was shown to schoolkids to warn them about the dangers on farms. Directed by John MacKenzie who'd follow this with the excellent The Long Good Friday (in case you need a non-traditional Easter weekend watch), it's about 27 minutes and I'll just say I can see why it traumatized kids. It's wild. I enjoyed it immensely. It's easily findable for free out there on Dailymotion and other internet sites.

 

[Unholy Diver]

Hit the theaters a twice this weekend


Luca - 8/10 - a Pixar movie that never made it to theaters during the pandemic, enjoyable story about two young sea monsters hiding on land as human children, befriending another outcast child, and changing the mindset of an Italian seaside town about how they viewed the sea monsters, a fun cute movie


Ghostbusters Frozen Empire - 7.5/10 - it was fun to revisit NYC and see the remnants of the old gang, and even Walter Peck, who remains dickless. A few parts that made my soon to be 7 year old squirm, but afterwards she said there were no scary parts, so it is pretty family friendly, and there was good nostalgia. The little marshmallow men were adorable.

 

[The Macho King]

Skipped half a day of work to finally see Dune Part 2.

Dune 2 asks the question "what if movies were f***ing awesome?" I really enjoyed it. Paced well, gorgeous, and great performances all around. Bardem and Butler were standouts but other than Walken i thought everyone fit. Also - it probably is said a lot but I don't really know so I'll say it - Zendaya is f***ing gorgeous.

A good bit of differences from the book but not to the movies detriment.

If I had criticisms, DV has the same issue as Nolan to me, but not as severe. There's just something a little... antiseptic about his stuff. I like his stuff, but fall short of loving it.

Still, this was a damn good movie. 8/10.

 

[Osprey]

I wouldn't have thought of you as someone who'd fall into that nostalgic revisionist pit, but that's some pretty good films you use to argue about Road House. You can't really bring less to the original, it was pure caca. Fun to some, but still a pretty bad film. I think the remake is just as fun, and just as bad.

I think that you can bring less than the original when you bring nothing new and the original did. The 1989 movie is no masterpiece and is full of cliches, but it did stand out a little in a sea of other cliched action movies because the character of Dalton wasn't a cliche. He was educated (in philosophy, no less), thoughtful, polite and predisposed to nonviolence, yet worked as a bouncer and had a reputation for ripping people's throats out. He was a contradiction and a different kind of action hero. That was certainly apparent early in the movie, when bar stools and beer bottles were flying around the Double Deuce and he just stood there and watched, instead of jumping in and stopping it, like we expected. I think that a lot of the fondness for the movie is due to how different, surprising and cool that main character was back then. The remake tries to copy that, but it's not new anymore, so it's missing something to make it similarly stand out from the crowd.

Besides, it brings less than the original because it doesn't have this gorgeous specimen.

 

[spintheblackcircle]

This is great.

 

[kihei]

I wouldn't have thought of you as someone who'd fall into that nostalgic revisionist pit, but that's some pretty good films you use to argue about Road House.

"That nostalgic revisionist pit"?---are you f***in' daft? Or have you been reading those esoteric academic film journals again that your doctor warned you against? I listed good remakes, that's all.

 

[The Macho King]

Like most, in fact, almost all remakes, Road House never really found a sense of purpose, nor, in this case, did it even seem to seek one. It brought less to the original, not more or better or different. Remakes can at least tenuously stand with their originals, but it takes something--a manic performance in Scarface; a reconstruction of the material in The Magnificent Seven and A Few Dollars More; imaginative set pieces that the original lacked in Sorcerer; even respect for the craftsmanship of the original, 3:10 to Yuma and The Thing. Road House has none of these things. The characters could be played by cartoon characters just as effectively. Dalton could be played by a wily fox ala Zootopia, the villains by various Roger Rabbit-type weasels and McGregor could be cast as Warner Brothers' Tasmanian devil. Probably would have worked just fine, maybe better. Road House is just product trying to attract the MMA crowd.

I guess I thought the MMA thing makes sense if you're trying to explain why a guy is a badass fighter or something... IDK it was dumb but it's the type of dumb I could stomach. Honestly even McGregor's character - terrible, over the top, somehow has accent sounds like someone doing a bad impression of an Irish accent even though I know for a fact he's Irish... he would have been totally fine in this role if the movie was better. I don't need Daniel Day Lewis (or frankly, even an actor as good as Jake Gyllenhall) to sell this shit. Just... have a better script, better structure, better pacing.

The original Road House is an accidental masterpiece. For all of the dumb - and there's a ton of f***ing dumb - it's paced incredibly well, it hits all of the right beats, and it gives you enough of "oh shit that's cool" to make all of the dumb an intensifier instead of a detractor.

 

[Babe Ruth]

Freejack (1992)

In the distant, dystopian future of 2009.. wealthy, dearly departed consumers are buying freshly deceased bodies from the 9os. And in an act of attempted immortality, implanting their preserved brains in to said corpses.
Very good cast, but dumb script. Emilio Estevez is the 9os guy who reluctantly has his body snatched.. and then when he resists, is hunted by Mick Jagger (seriously).
Movie is mostly an extended chase between Jagger and Estevez. Cast also has Anthony Hopkins, pretty fresh off Silence of the Lambs, and Rene Russo (looking very good).
Guess I rate this a C-.

 

[KallioWeHardlyKnewYe]

Cocktail. If forced to pick the MOST 80s movie, this very well may be my choice. The surface reasons are obvious like style and music, but even thematically and in execution this is very, very 80s. Our protagonist's dream is to ... franchise snazzy bars? We've got characters who are THE BEST at their specific thing, telling a know-nothing teacher to shove it, some snobs vs. slobs class confrontations, surprise pregnancy, the promotion of AND criticism of greed, the reinforcement of the importance of family and, to top it off, a last minute rush/sneak past a guard/confrontation/love declaration.

Tom Cruise comes across like a psychopath. But the movie itself is kinda manic so I suppose his mania makes sense. But salty ol' piece of Australian driftwood Bryan Brown is genuinely good as the charming but ner-do-well drunk philosopher mentor. Elisabeth Shue deserved better both on-screen and off.

 

[The Macho King]

Cocktail. If forced to pick the MOST 80s movie, this very well may be my choice. The surface reasons are obvious like style and music, but even thematically and in execution this is very, very 80s. Our protagonist's dream is to ... franchise snazzy bars? We've got characters who are THE BEST at their specific thing, telling a know-nothing teacher to shove it, some snobs vs. slobs class confrontations, surprise pregnancy, the promotion of AND criticism of greed, the reinforcement of the importance of family and, to top it off, a last minute rush/sneak past a guard/confrontation/love declaration.

Tom Cruise comes across like a psychopath. But the movie itself is kinda manic so I suppose his mania makes sense. But salty ol' piece of Australian driftwood Bryan Brown is genuinely good as the charming but ner-do-well drunk philosopher mentor. Elisabeth Shue deserved better both on-screen and off.

God damn what a blast from the past there. Talk about a movie they don't make any more. This one... maybe for the best though lol.

Edit: I take it back. Not for the best. The movie is kind of nonsense but it's very watchable. Throw 40 million at a movie about a dude with a job - doesn't happen anymore unless it stars Tom Hanks.

 

[KallioWeHardlyKnewYe]

God damn what a blast from the past there. Talk about a movie they don't make any more. This one... maybe for the best though lol.

It's definitely not good. And it's not so-bad-it's-good either. But I don't know if I would call it full-on bad.

The fatal flaw is that it can't really decide if it wants to be fun jet-setting lifestyle porn or a "serious movie with a message." The former accounts for the most entertaining stuff and the latter is just a cliched trip to bummersville.

Honestly it's pretty akin to the original Road House in a lot of ways, but that movie has the good sense to realize you just want to watch the good looking man with the silly skills take care of business.

 

[Pranzo Oltranzista]

"That nostalgic revisionist pit"?---are you f***in' daft? Or have you been reading those esoteric academic film journals again that your doctor warned you against? I listed good remakes, that's all.

Touched a nerve? You wouldn't want to pass for someone who mistakenly liked a bad film, would you?

 

[Babe Ruth]

Touched a nerve? You wouldn't want to pass for someone who mistakenly liked a bad film, would you?

I like the dunce cap, didn't realize that was an emoji option..
That said, I'm curious about this 'nostalgic revisionist pit', if you'd be willing to elaborate on it(?)
A movie concept I reference often is 'nostalgic obligation'..ie- where Star Wars fans keep consuming terrible sequels & prequels, accurately anticipating they'll be bad.. but still robotically watch out of nostalgic obligation to the originals.
Now you have me curious about nostalgic revisionism.. I assume it means remembering (dumb) movies better than they were?

 

[Pranzo Oltranzista]

I like the dunce cap, didn't realize that was an emoji option..
That said, I'm curious about this 'nostalgic revisionist pit', if you'd be willing to elaborate on it(?)
A movie concept I reference often is 'nostalgic obligation'..ie- where Star Wars fans keep consuming terrible sequels & prequels, accurately anticipating they'll be bad.. but still robotically watch out of nostalgic obligation to the originals.
Now you have me curious about nostalgic revisionism.. I assume it means remembering (dumb) movies better than they were?

Yes, that's exactly what I meant, and it is nothing from film or media studies as suggested. I'm just really annoyed by all that "the original was something else" attitude surrounding this particular film.

Your obligation idea is pretty interesting, I certainly fell for it (as I'm sure someone like @shadow1 did too) for many beloved horror franchises. Star Wars fans certainly are a different breed, and the revisionism sure is strong with these ones.

 

[shadow1]

Yes, that's exactly what I meant, and it is nothing from film or media studies as suggested. I'm just really annoyed by all that "the original was something else" attitude surrounding this particular film.

Your obligation idea is pretty interesting, I certainly fell for it (as I'm sure someone like @shadow1 did too) for many beloved horror franchises. Star Wars fans certainly are a different breed, and the revisionism sure is strong with these ones.

95% of my hobby reviewing movies on this site is based on this concept.

 

[Rodgerwilco]

Samurai Cop (1991) - 0/10 or 9/10 (depends on your taste)

Wow where to start with this one. What an absolutely stupidly brilliant movie... or is it brilliantly stupid? Who knows. Matt Hannon plays loose cannon officer Joe 'Samurai' Marshall who is on assignment from San Diego to take down the infamous Japanese Katana gang. Along with his trusty sidekick Frank (Mark Frazer). As they work to build a case against the Katana gang they get into multiple scuffles with some of the members, of course, killing and kicking everyone's ass in their path.

Also, every woman in this movie is sexy and every one of them (except for 1 apparently) want to f*** The Samurai Cop.

The dialogue is shockingly abysmal, dubbing is horrendous, the acting is even worse, the visuals and camera angles are jarring, the color saturation is strikingly bad, the special effects are... well... special.

Overall, the film reminded me a lot of those games you play at the arcade where you use the toy guns and shoot at the screen. The audio is washed out, the acting is non-existent, and the shooting is way over the top, but it's still a fun experience overall.

I found the music to actually be the only thing about this movie that wasn't objectively horrible.

If you like "So Bad They're Good" movies then this is the film for you. If you can't do those kind of movies, then better to skip this one. Thanks again to @KallioWeHardlyKnewYe for the recommendation, absolutely hit the nail on the head for my taste.

 

[Unholy Diver]

View attachment 842338
Samurai Cop (1991) - 0/10 or 9/10 (depends on your taste)

Wow where to start with this one. What an absolutely stupidly brilliant movie... or is it brilliantly stupid? Who knows. Matt Hannon plays loose cannon officer Joe 'Samurai' Marshall who is on assignment from San Diego to take down the infamous Japanese Katana gang. Along with his trusty sidekick Frank (Mark Frazer). As they work to build a case against the Katana gang they get into multiple scuffles with some of the members, of course, killing and kicking everyone's ass in their path.

Also, every woman in this movie is sexy and every one of them (except for 1 apparently) want to f*** The Samurai Cop.

The dialogue is shockingly abysmal, dubbing is horrendous, the acting is even worse, the visuals and camera angles are jarring, the color saturation is strikingly bad, the special effects are... well... special.

Overall, the film reminded me a lot of those games you play at the arcade where you use the toy guns and shoot at the screen. The audio is washed out, the acting is non-existent, and the shooting is way over the top, but it's still a fun experience overall.

I found the music to actually be the only thing about this movie that wasn't objectively horrible.

If you like "So Bad They're Good" movies then this is the film for you. If you can't do those kind of movies, then better to skip this one. Thanks again to @KallioWeHardlyKnewYe for the recommendation, absolutely hit the nail on the head for my taste.

did you watch th Rifftrax version or the "real" one?

 

[Rodgerwilco]

did you watch th Rifftrax version or the "real" one?

Im not sure what Rifftrax is, but I didn’t know there was different versions. What’s the difference?

 

[Unholy Diver]

Im not sure what Rifftrax is, but I didn’t know there was different versions. What’s the difference?

Rifftrax is where some of the guys from Mystery Science Theater watch and riff on bad movies, and this was one that they did a few years back

 

[Rodgerwilco]

Rifftrax is where some of the guys from Mystery Science Theater watch and riff on bad movies, and this was one that they did a few years back

Ah no, I watched the original “real” version.

 

[Osprey]

Yes, that's exactly what I meant, and it is nothing from film or media studies as suggested. I'm just really annoyed by all that "the original was something else" attitude surrounding this particular film.

Your obligation idea is pretty interesting, I certainly fell for it (as I'm sure someone like @shadow1 did too) for many beloved horror franchises. Star Wars fans certainly are a different breed, and the revisionism sure is strong with these ones.

In other words, if people are more complimentary towards films than you've decided is deserved, it's revisionism and that really annoys you. Seems reasonable.

 

[Pranzo Oltranzista]

In other words, if people are more complimentary towards films than you've decided is deserved, it's revisionism and that really annoys you. Seems reasonable.

I knew that by writing "Star Wars fans", I'd have some witty comeback from. Your comment on the remake wasn't even really annoying, but yeah, anybody who suddenly feels like the original really was in fact a great film should be considered a nuisance. Absolutely reasonable.

 

[CDJ]

Love Lies Bleeding directed by Rose Glass


What a wild movie-it is set in 1989. First half was more or less a softcore porn and the second half was a wild thriller. Some comedy moments scattered throughout. Dave Franco is so good at playing a douche. It also stars Kristen Stewart and Katy O’Brian as the leads, they were great…as was Ed Harris, as he always is. Ending is a bit ridiculous but also darkly funny. Would definitely recommend. Not usually the kind of movie I’d check out but got dragged there by my roommate and did end up enjoying it

8.3/10

 

[Osprey]

I knew that by writing "Star Wars fans", I'd have some witty comeback from. Your comment on the remake wasn't even really annoying, but yeah, anybody who suddenly feels like the original really was in fact a great film should be considered a nuisance. Absolutely reasonable.

No one here has said that the original is a great film. All that anyone has suggested is that the remake doesn't live up to the original, which seems like a reasonable opinion.

 

[kihei]

The Truth vs Alex Jones (2024) Directed by Dan Reed 8A (documentary)

In 2012, 20-year-old Adam Lanza entered Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut and shot and killed twenty children and six adults. The children were mostly 6-year-olds, though a few were 7. Within a day, Alex Jones was on his Info Wars show claiming it was all a hoax. He didn't just broadcast this nonsense. Info Wars sent "experts" to Sandy Hook to confront and harass the parents, one of the reporters even managing to get a meeting with the the local school board where he informed them that they were all actors in an tragedy that never happened. The parents had to suffer not only the trauma of losing a child to gun violence but also the harassment that followed as Jones kept claiming with disgusting bravado that the massacre was a hoax and his followers kept threatening the families. Subsequently two different trials took place that accused Jones of deliberately spreading lies for profits, damaging people's reputations in the process. How powerful were these lies? At one of the trials, it is noted that at that time 24% of Americans, roughly 75 million people, either believed outright that Sandy Hook never happened or seriously doubted the veracity of the official reports.

Both trials ended in verdicts of massive damages, close to a billion dollars in all, against Jones. He has yet to pay a penny and has declared bankruptcy. Info Wars is still going strong. Jones comes across as a creature who lives at the bottom of a cesspool. Ultimately he is kind of irrelevant--even after a nuclear war, there will always be cockroaches still scurrying about. The real surprise is that one in four American adults bought into this conspiracy theory. That is a percentage that leaves me gobsmacked. In a way this documentary chronicles a compendium of fault lines running through American society. Not just the merciless gun violence, this time perpetrated on first and second graders, nor the hoax conspiracy theories of Jones, but why does the school board agree to hear a nutso spouting self-evident lies to begin with, and why are so many Americans so gullible to conspiracy theories in the first place? The Truth vs Alex Jones presents quite dispassionately American society at its lowest and most dangerous ebb.

On HBO