Thanks for the advice, Grandpa, and Jetsy and Busty. It's all kind of sweet but lighten up, guys. I'm not auditioning for the sex industry or risking captivity with white slavers.
I'm just applying to work as a promotions model, something I did after my B.Sc. to finance a few months in Europe. Of course, by March, 2020 I was out of work and my future travels evaporated. It's a respectable job, very flexible hours, and I'm not diminished or oppressed by the fact that they require a glam appearance. I'm pretty good at projecting amiable interest when I'm actually bored out of my gourd, making sure that my smile doesn't look too fixed, and ignoring the guys checking me out when they should be looking at the latest automobiles, or exercise bikes, or array of fabulous exercise foods, or whatever the fox the client is hawking.
When there's no product, but it's a "good will" thing for the client's customers and alcohol is served, you have to be more on your toes without stepping on theirs, especially when they've drunk too much. That's where it helps to have "candidate for M.Sc. Chem" on my resume (which, btw, is about a $900 cab ride away from being a scientist) if you want to get an interview. It's a very safe job and there's always discreet security, in case some inebriated fool is overcome by my brilliant wit and sizzling Wiswesser puns.
So, this is just a short-term gig to help finance my independent living. Maybe even stretch to cover a used car. And who knows? If the science thing doesn't work out, maybe I can become the next spokesperson for the St. Boniface Hospital Lottery?