At least we won in CORSI. How many points is that worth in the standings?
A) Corsi isn't capitalized.
B) Controlling the play at even-strength compensated for the horrific PK results TB got tonight.
I get you were going for snark but, really, the whole point of the Corsi (all shot attempts) metric is its predictive value -- with enough sample size -- for future performance. It serves as a proxy for meaningful possession. Just as with football, winning the possession battle never guarantees success in individual games but if a club does it often enough, especially when the score is close so that one team hasn't resorted to a "prevent defense", it's usually a sign of a good team that's going to win the bulk of its games.
This isn't rocket science. You want the puck more than your opponent. When you have the puck more than your opponent, you're on the attack more than your opponent. This tends to result in generating more shot attempts (and, thus, scoring chances) as well as drawing more penalties than the opposition. It's not perfect but it's a good recipe.
If Richard Panik doesn't have a massive brain-fart to give the league's best power play 5:00 to play with, we're probably discussing what have seemed like a blowout of sorts for the Lightning, which unequivocally crushed the Capitals at even-strength. In other words, Washington was bailed out of a pretty terrible showing on its part for the vast majority of the game, really only dangerous when it had the man-advantage and for a handful of shifts when it didn't.