StevenToddIves
Registered User
1) Pierre McGuire tells us where the same player played junior hockey at least a half dozen times in one incredibly non-informative sentence -- "and it was just a matter of time until the London Knights' Luke Evangelista got his name called! Evangelista really shined for the London Knights, where he played for London Knights coach Mark Hunter alongside fellow London Knights like Antonio Stranges who will also likely be drafted out of a terrific London Knights development system!"
2) Somebody mispronounces a draft pick's Russian name -- "boy, I heard a lot of good things about the kid, but he's a bit small, so I'm really surprised that it was still the first round when we heard the name Marotte, um Marit, um Marty... ah, Cooznootdornoff."
3) Whomever the Toronto Maple Leafs draft at #15 is the absolute, total, complete and utter steal of the 2020 draft -- "oh wow, can you believe how stupid the Rangers were drafting Alex Lafreniere 1st overall when they actually had a shot at Dawson Mercer? This is almost as good as 2019 when we got #1 prospect in the world Nick Robertson in the second round when all of those other idiotic teams were wasting first round picks on Hughes, Kakko and Byram!"
4) The Vancouver Canucks trade for a heart and soul checking line winger -- "Yeah, of course trading away every first round pick until 2064 was a steep price to pay," GM Jim Benning told The Hockey News, "But we really feel that Pierre Bellemare makes us a legit five-line team."
5) The Anaheim Ducks draft a big, strong Canadian kid who likes to play physical -- "We had Butch Mukawackaluk circled as the guy we really wanted in the 5th round," GM Bob Murray told Bob McKenzie. "We felt his 947 penalty minutes in the OJHL last year and three aggravated assault arrests really translate well into the modern, NHL game."
6) Some idiot draft writer still thinks they're the only one who knows about someone from Sweden who everyone already knows about -- "people are really sleeping on Lucas Raymond, but I can tell you from my incredible, personal expertise and immense amounts of top-secret inside information that this is a player who deserves to be drafted in the top 10!"
7) The Devils fans on the HF Boards get into an argument about someone the Devils draft who everyone likes deep down, but these are people from New Jersey and people from New Jersey just love to argue about s**t -- "how can you act so happy about getting three future all-stars, when Martin Brodeur just announced he's not coming out of retirement again and Jersey Subs was just bought out by someone from Connecticut? You wanna take this outside?"
2) Somebody mispronounces a draft pick's Russian name -- "boy, I heard a lot of good things about the kid, but he's a bit small, so I'm really surprised that it was still the first round when we heard the name Marotte, um Marit, um Marty... ah, Cooznootdornoff."
3) Whomever the Toronto Maple Leafs draft at #15 is the absolute, total, complete and utter steal of the 2020 draft -- "oh wow, can you believe how stupid the Rangers were drafting Alex Lafreniere 1st overall when they actually had a shot at Dawson Mercer? This is almost as good as 2019 when we got #1 prospect in the world Nick Robertson in the second round when all of those other idiotic teams were wasting first round picks on Hughes, Kakko and Byram!"
4) The Vancouver Canucks trade for a heart and soul checking line winger -- "Yeah, of course trading away every first round pick until 2064 was a steep price to pay," GM Jim Benning told The Hockey News, "But we really feel that Pierre Bellemare makes us a legit five-line team."
5) The Anaheim Ducks draft a big, strong Canadian kid who likes to play physical -- "We had Butch Mukawackaluk circled as the guy we really wanted in the 5th round," GM Bob Murray told Bob McKenzie. "We felt his 947 penalty minutes in the OJHL last year and three aggravated assault arrests really translate well into the modern, NHL game."
6) Some idiot draft writer still thinks they're the only one who knows about someone from Sweden who everyone already knows about -- "people are really sleeping on Lucas Raymond, but I can tell you from my incredible, personal expertise and immense amounts of top-secret inside information that this is a player who deserves to be drafted in the top 10!"
7) The Devils fans on the HF Boards get into an argument about someone the Devils draft who everyone likes deep down, but these are people from New Jersey and people from New Jersey just love to argue about s**t -- "how can you act so happy about getting three future all-stars, when Martin Brodeur just announced he's not coming out of retirement again and Jersey Subs was just bought out by someone from Connecticut? You wanna take this outside?"
