AlphaLackey
Registered User
(Note: since every game and movie in the Resident Evil series is a jumbled and incoherent mess, this GDT will be as well. What a fitting tribute!)
"Picture it: Winnipeg, Spring of 1996.
This was a very significant day in our lives.
Not only did we lose our hockey franchise to a desert location, about which my desire to remain unbanned precludes me from speaking further about, there was a video game released on the fledgling PlayStation console; a North American rendition of a game known overseas as BioHazard, but here it was known as.."
No, no, "Resident Evil" had nothing to do with your mother-in-law moving in...
.. but rather, about a virus developed in a laboratory which launches an unchecked plague that quickly undoes civilization and turns the masses into mindless savages. One can imagine how this might be relevant to our current situation.
And believe me, I thought long and hard about doing something positive and uplifting instead
.. but in the end, even aside from the obvious "I ain't talking about these because like I said, I ain't getting banned before puck drop" parallels, there were a few others:
1. The ridiculous dialogue:
(Fun fact: this line got a callback in Capcom's other zombie franchise, "Dead Rising", where one of the restaurants in the mall is called "Jill's Sandwiches")
... but that's nothing compared to:
2. The sudden emotional reactions.
(If you're telling me you didn't shit your pants at this scene, I'm telling you you're a liar)
VS
(As above re: soiling one's pantaloons, but for a much different reason)
3. The tragic presence of a virulent pox, a blight on humankind so horrific that it makes one wonder if Jesus died in vain.
(PS the mask goes over your nose, ya pestilent f***.)
"Picture it: Winnipeg, Spring of 1996.
This was a very significant day in our lives.
Not only did we lose our hockey franchise to a desert location, about which my desire to remain unbanned precludes me from speaking further about, there was a video game released on the fledgling PlayStation console; a North American rendition of a game known overseas as BioHazard, but here it was known as.."
No, no, "Resident Evil" had nothing to do with your mother-in-law moving in...
.. but rather, about a virus developed in a laboratory which launches an unchecked plague that quickly undoes civilization and turns the masses into mindless savages. One can imagine how this might be relevant to our current situation.
And believe me, I thought long and hard about doing something positive and uplifting instead
.. but in the end, even aside from the obvious "I ain't talking about these because like I said, I ain't getting banned before puck drop" parallels, there were a few others:
1. The ridiculous dialogue:
(Fun fact: this line got a callback in Capcom's other zombie franchise, "Dead Rising", where one of the restaurants in the mall is called "Jill's Sandwiches")
... but that's nothing compared to:
2. The sudden emotional reactions.
(If you're telling me you didn't shit your pants at this scene, I'm telling you you're a liar)
VS
(As above re: soiling one's pantaloons, but for a much different reason)
3. The tragic presence of a virulent pox, a blight on humankind so horrific that it makes one wonder if Jesus died in vain.
(PS the mask goes over your nose, ya pestilent f***.)
I hope he's ok and can play.
