WC: Power rankings - 2011 edition

Discussion in 'International Tournaments' started by ES, May 2, 2011.

  1. ES

    ES Registered User

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    These get often mentioned here, so a topic for 2011 rankings is here.

    Pre-tournament

    1. RUSSIA
    That was 2010. This is 2011.
    2. CZECH REPUBLIC
    "Happiness is the longing for repetition." - Milan Kundera
    3. CANADA
    The Maple Leaf will rely on Maple Leaf power
    4. SLOVAKIA
    No one comes into our house and pushes us around (sorry, Slovenia)
    5. FINLAND
    What, no Nummelin? Can this really be the World Championship?
    6. SWEDEN
    Please welcome your World Junior silver medalists
    7. SWITZERLAND
    Who needs Justin Bieber when you've got Matthias Bieber?
    8. USA
    Say, can we make it to London for the Royal Wedding?
    9. BELARUS
    One Kostitsyn good, two Kostitsyns better
    10. DENMARK
    Ready to roll – we've been riding our bikes and limiting our pastry
    11. GERMANY
    This year's tournament isn't in Germany
    12. NORWAY
    Mats Zuccarello has a broken hand – Norway has a broken heart
    13. LATVIA
    Fear not – there is still time for the beaver to rise
    14. FRANCE
    If Napoleon conquered Europe, how come we're usually 14th?
    15. AUSTRIA
    Yes, the Vanek factor was included in this scientific calculation
    16. SLOVENIA
    Just like Phil Kessel, someone's gotta be last

    After first games:
    1. CZECH REPUBLIC
    Still good as gold after Game One
    2. CANADA
    Will Tavares lobby to move the Islanders to Central Europe?
    3. GERMANY
    Beethoven. Einstein. Endras.
    4. SLOVAKIA
    We're winning – and not like Charlie Sheen
    5. FINLAND
    It's a Granlund day for Finnish hockey
    6. USA
    After the 5-1 win, the Americans didn't have to release their birth certificates
    7. NORWAY
    If we played 'em ten times, they might win nine. But not this game. Not tonight.
    8. SWITZERLAND
    Julien Vauclair is lights out in his Kosice debut
    9. LATVIA
    Gotta work on those angles, Mr. Masalskis
    10. BELARUS
    Beaten by children...ouch!
    11. SWEDEN
    Well, at least it wasn't Iceland
    12. RUSSIA
    What the (insert favourite Russian expletive)?
    13. DENMARK
    Nine shots of schnapps is a lot. Nine shots on goal is not.
    14. FRANCE
    If we'd stayed in Poland, maybe we would have scored a goal
    15. SLOVENIA
    Robert Kristan is Jesus Christ Superstar. Miroslav Satan is...well, you know.
    16. AUSTRIA
    Arnold Schwarzenegger is available
     
  2. Davebo*

    Davebo* Guest

    Damn - Russia moving 12 spots....

    Is that a record? :sarcasm:
     
  3. vippe

    vippe Registered User

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    I always enjoy these :)
     
  4. cibtom

    cibtom :(

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    very funny as usuall :) I like iihf's power rankings
     
  5. slovakfan*

    slovakfan* Guest

    yeah.. I somehow predict it will be not pleasure for Slovakia after game 2... :D

    But who cares. We will still win it everything.

    :D
     
  6. slovakfan*

    slovakfan* Guest

    Power Rankings (as of May 2)
    1.

    GERMANY
    You laughed when the last Power Rankings had us third. Who’s laughing now, dummkopf?

    2.

    CANADA
    French toast drowned in maple syrup

    3.

    CZECH REPUBLIC
    Gotta stay focused, no easy games. Now, imagine the score if Jagr was 29...

    4.

    USA
    Cheering crowds gathered...wait, that wasn’t for the win over Norway?

    5.

    SWITZERLAND
    The boys from Bern are boogying

    6.

    FINLAND
    Little-known fact: Paul McCartney wrote “When I’m 64†about Granlund

    7.

    SWEDEN
    Mats Wennerholm has promised to wear Salming Underwear for the rest of the tournament

    8.

    SLOVAKIA
    Repeat after me: "There is no home ice curse!"

    9.

    RUSSIA
    This is not NHL 94. It’s not cool to make somebody’s head bleed.

    10.

    LATVIA
    Considering we usually score zero goals against Finland, we’ll take it

    11.

    NORWAY
    Nick Palmieri...dude, are you sure you're not Zach Parise?

    12.

    SLOVENIA
    Russia = 2,014 registered players. Slovenia = 155. 6-4 Russia = Good work, Slovenia!

    13.

    BELARUS
    Activists call on Belarus to start putting the puck in the net

    14.

    AUSTRIA
    Whose bright idea was it to put Mattias Weinhandl in goal?

    15.

    DENMARK
    We need to improve in certain areas, like not losing 6-0

    16.

    FRANCE
    Mr. Huet? Your return flight to Chicago has been cancelled


    please... Canada 2nd behind Germany? I would give Germany credit for what they did but get real - at least little bit, please...
     
  7. Brun0

    Brun0 Registered User

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    Got to love these! :D

    Never really knew what these were for before :D
     
  8. joe89

    joe89 #5

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    Ouch.

    @slovakfan, this is a pure power rankings list. Wins over Russia and Slovakia > wins over Belarus and France.
     
  9. hockeygeek

    hockeygeek Registered User

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    13 gf:2 ga>6 gf:3 ga and for that matter the Czech's deserve the 2 spot but good on Germany. They can wear the targets
     
  10. Maverick41

    Maverick41 Registered User Sponsor

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    Don't take it so seriously guys. The just put Germany in the number one spot beacuse it made it easier to come up with a funny line to go along. ;)
     
  11. Bubba88

    Bubba88 Toews = Savior

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    Germany :D

    WTF but always funny
     
  12. Eye of Ra

    Eye of Ra Registered User

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    :laugh:
     
  13. Krotak

    Krotak is the Legend

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    Power Rankings (as of May 4)

    1.CZECH REPUBLIC
    Feels like home, baby

    2.CANADA
    Good win – no more “Swiss cheese†jokes

    3.GERMANY
    No fear: it won’t take us 81 years to top the Power Rankings again

    4.SWEDEN
    This’ll make up for spoiling King Carl Gustaf’s birthday on Saturday

    5.RUSSIA
    Has anyone ever seen Kovalchuk and Henrik Sedin in the same room together?

    6.SWITZERLAND
    Could everybody cut back on the “Swiss Miss†thing too?

    7.FINLAND
    The Czechs were no fun 10 years ago, and they're still no fun today

    8.USA
    We lost, but Swedes have to live under socialism with nonstop ABBA

    9.NORWAY
    Anders is a Bastiansen of hope

    10.SLOVAKIA
    Well, our ticket sales are good, and so is the weather

    11.DENMARK
    It’s a Mads, Mads, Mads, Mads Worlds

    12.FRANCE
    Kévin is one Hecquefeuille of a hockey player

    13.LATVIA
    We should sign that guy and rename him Mads Christensens

    14.SLOVENIA
    Hey, in fairness, the Swiss allowed 61 shots in their last game too

    15.BELARUS
    Our team has one goal: to score one goal every game

    16.AUSTRIA
    Even Belarus could give us tips on how to score
     
  14. TexasTriumph

    TexasTriumph Registered User

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    Hahaha these are very funny!... Insert for Russian rank - (Can the Capitals loan us Ovechkin and Varlamov? )
     

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