NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot - Discussion / Draft Thread - PHASE TWELVE! Part One!

[ajgoal]

Damned good kitty having a damned good nap.

She's been there for hours now. I'm told she doesn't sit in other laps.

 

[Striiker]

Team Comedian - Bill Burr

@Asnito

 

[BiggE]

My back hurts more than my head when I watch the Flyers. Getting old sucks. At least I don’t have any gigs til Wednesday

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Hut hut ... hut ... OMAHA! OMAHA! ... HIKE!

I think we waited long enough to hear from Asnito - hopefully he is just busy and isn't having problems or anything, but he would have said something if he was around, so he can make his picks when he is available again. Therefore, we are going to start the day with @Hollywood Couturier on the clock with a pair, then we are going to hurtle up to @Striiker on deck, @Hurricane28 on the lido deck, and MacGruber on the lido afterdeck.

WE WILL NOW COMMENCE THE AIRING OF GRIEVANCES!

Just kidding, I only have one grievance to air, and it has nothing to do with any of you. The sumbitch known as NBC has put ALL of the Premier League matches today on the ubersuperturboc*** drone called Peacock. My team isn't involved today, and I don't really need to watch these matches closely or anything, and I even HAVE f***ing Peacock. I'm just saying. Almost all of them today are very high-profile contests.

When the matches first started being shown here in this garbage country, they were on Fox Soccer/Sports Midwest/Various Other Names, and they were almost all on there. I know, because I watched literally ALL of them. I didn't play games while I was watching, or f*** around doing other stuff - I sat there with a notebook and took notes on every game, eight to 10 games per weekend, every weekend. There were about three channels they were shown on for simultaneous games, and excess matches would be put on later in the day or later in the week. I DVRed those bitches and watched everything.

Now these squirrelly carpetbagging dick magnets at NBC are going for a money grab that would make even Alain blush. They are not alone in whoring themselves for the trickle of streaming dollars, obviously, but this affects me and my life. For that reason, I am going to burn it to the ground. I don't know how yet, but I will figure out something.

 

[ajgoal]

Hut hut ... hut ... OMAHA! OMAHA! ... HIKE!

I think we waited long enough to hear from Asnito - hopefully he is just busy and isn't having problems or anything, but he would have said something if he was around, so he can make his picks when he is available again. Therefore, we are going to start the day with @Hollywood Couturier on the clock with a pair, then we are going to hurtle up to @Striiker on deck, @Hurricane28 on the lido deck, and MacGruber on the lido afterdeck.

WE WILL NOW COMMENCE THE AIRING OF GRIEVANCES!

Just kidding, I only have one grievance to air, and it has nothing to do with any of you. The sumbitch known as NBC has put ALL of the Premier League matches today on the ubersuperturboc*** drone called Peacock. My team isn't involved today, and I don't really need to watch these matches closely or anything, and I even HAVE f***ing Peacock. I'm just saying. Almost all of them today are very high-profile contests.

When the matches first started being shown here in this garbage country, they were on Fox Soccer/Sports Midwest/Various Other Names, and they were almost all on there. I know, because I watched literally ALL of them. I didn't play games while I was watching, or f*** around doing other stuff - I sat there with a notebook and took notes on every game, eight to 10 games per weekend, every weekend. There were about three channels they were shown on for simultaneous games, and excess matches would be put on later in the day or later in the week. I DVRed those bitches and watched everything.

Now these squirrelly carpetbagging dick magnets at NBC are going for a money grab that would make even Alain blush. They are not alone in whoring themselves for the trickle of streaming dollars, obviously, but this affects me and my life. For that reason, I am going to burn it to the ground. I don't know how yet, but I will figure out something.

It's a shame, too. Because the best parts of Sunday mornings are your out-of-context soccer tweets.

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

Picks will come semi soonish.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

@Rebels57 who is your owner? I think I f***ed it up on the spreadsheet.

 

[mja]

@Rebels57 who is your owner? I think I f***ed it up on the spreadsheet.

J-Lo, I think? Also, NJFZ team fan should read Jigar Desai, not Jigar Desal.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

Right, so here is the deal. Fenway Sports Group is about to buy the f***ing Penguins. I can't be having that. So I am going to change my owners, but luckily it's not like cheating or an extra pick or anything since I already have the new owner on the books. He owns Fast Retailing, which owns Uniqlo, which is one of our things. He's pretty old, but he has two sons who are ready to take over if they haven't already.

*** NEW TEAM OWNER ALERT ***

Team Owner - Tadashi Yanai

This is not part of the pick rotation - we are still waiting for @Hollywood Couturier to go.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

In less exciting news, while going down the list of the world's 100 wealthiest people I did not find a natural fit to buy the Flyers. I will stay on it, though.

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

Right, so here is the deal. Fenway Sports Group is about to buy the f***ing Penguins. I can't be having that. So I am going to change my owners, but luckily it's not like cheating or an extra pick or anything since I already have the new owner on the books. He owns Fast Retailing, which owns Uniqlo, which is one of our things. He's pretty old, but he has two sons who are ready to take over if they haven't already.

*** NEW TEAM OWNER ALERT ***

Team Owner - Tadashi Yanai

This is not part of the pick rotation - we are still waiting for @Hollywood Couturier to go.

How much were the Lapins sold for?

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

How much were the Lapins sold for?

42 billion dollars. Not too bad, right?

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

While we calmly wait for @Hollywood Couturier to stop forgetting about me, I want to ask @Rebels57 a question - is it OK if I put down for your owner "Cartman's hand," and think of it as that Hennifer Lopez? TACO TACO TACO! BURRITO!

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

Taco flavored keeeeses

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

The Las Vegas Desert Ducks will select the laughable reach in the real draft as our last Futurehead... Tyler Boucher because we liked his dad.

We’ll also select as our Team WWII Battle... Battle of Stalingrad.

@Asnito picks are due.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

@Striiker you can go when you see this - Asnito will make up his picks when he comes back.

 

[Rebels57]

@Rebels57 who is your owner? I think I f***ed it up on the spreadsheet.

 

[Striiker]

Team Golfer - Shooter McGavin

@Hurricane28

 

[Hurricane28]

I’ll post mine when I get up tomorrow. Go ahead @Magua

 

[Magua]

The Honolulu Ghibli choose as our Team Superpower: Teleportation.

Boy, it sure does make team traveling easier.

@ajgoal -- teleport yourself away from burying that person in the woods and make a selection

 

[BiggE]

The Honolulu Ghibli choose as our Team Superpower: Teleportation.

Boy, it sure does make team traveling easier.

@ajgoal -- teleport yourself away from burying that person in the woods and make a selection

Before you leave earth prime, please teleport Cuck and the coaching staff to the nearest black hole.

 

[BernieParent]

We didn't even have them when I was a kid. We didn't have any big stores with just toys. We had to walk uphill in the snow both ways to the wood carver's shed and ask him what he could whittle for us.

I assume that @Beef Invictus only had leftover bones from neighbourhood animals behind his shed to play with, held together with rotted Halloween candy. He would amuse himself by thinking, "Someday, I will use this to entrap and amuse people I meet on the Internet as a distraction from awful hockey."

 

[ajgoal]

I'll wait for @Hurricane28.

 

[Captain Dave Poulin]

My apathy is slowly starting to burn off and I am starting to get pissed. Don't be surprised if you soon hear the hoofbeats that accompany a crusade.

We start the day with Grizzly Adams on the clock, presumably with his bear Ben giving me a piggyback ride and a hug on deck. After @ajgoal and I are finished tapping into our animal instincts, @Strawberry Fields will gently drop a pick from the lido deck, and @Rebels57 will deposit something onto the lido afterdeck from the bank.

Gahhhh, f***. I'm really kind of angry this morning lol. Are you surprised? Yeah, well ... that's just YOUR opinion. Who knew side dishes could fuel such rage? Seriously, I have never been so happy to see the back of food as I am to see the empty side dish containers. It was horrible. I really have to start finding some energy to eat something that doesn't suck and leave me wheezing in my chair. I'm not going to get up from the chair and do anything, we know that, so I'll have to adjust the intake.

I feel like a f***ing steam engine right now. BURN IT ALL DOWN!

 

[Hollywood Cannon]

My apathy is slowly starting to burn off and I am starting to get pissed. Don't be surprised if you soon hear the hoofbeats that accompany a crusade.

We start the day with Grizzly Adams on the clock, presumably with his bear Ben giving me a piggyback ride and a hug on deck. After @ajgoal and I are finished tapping into our animal instincts, @Strawberry Fields will gently drop a pick from the lido deck, and @Rebels57 will deposit something onto the lido afterdeck from the bank.

Gahhhh, f***. I'm really kind of angry this morning lol. Are you surprised? Yeah, well ... that's just YOUR opinion. Who knew side dishes could fuel such rage? Seriously, I have never been so happy to see the back of food as I am to see the empty side dish containers. It was horrible. I really have to start finding some energy to eat something that doesn't suck and leave me wheezing in my chair. I'm not going to get up from the chair and do anything, we know that, so I'll have to adjust the intake.

I feel like a f***ing steam engine right now. BURN IT ALL DOWN!

I’ll follow you into Hell, my brother.