Captain Dave Poulin
Imaginary Cat
Welcome To The 20/21 Flyers Board NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot, PHASE FOURTEEN! Part One!
Most normal people would have had their ideas dry up long before reaching the 14th phase of anything. We’re not normal - I think that’s obvious - and we are just starting to get hot. Well, some of us have been hot for a long time, but let’s not make this an I’m A Babe thread. You start thinking about whether or not you are a babe and all of a sudden you are desperately rubbing up and down against a statue with your pelvis and whatnot.
The last phase was characterized by its glorious categories, some of the best we have ever had, most of them (if not all of them) suggested by you guys. You know what is characteristic of this phase? Spite. It is ripe virgin meat for really venting your spleen and letting the bile spew. I am getting thirsty just thinking about it, but I am also overheating, so let’s get to it.
BAND OF HORSESHIT
The idea here is to build a supergroup of annoying musicians who you despise. I know that none of you despise stuff to the degree that I do, because that would be dangerous and impossible, but I’m sure you can think of people in bands who you dislike enough to fill the spots. All the rules are the same, but I posted them below as a reminder. All of the people taken last phase are obviously off limits, as are members of bands we picked previously - I have posted that list again below. Belower than the rules.
One clarifier - you can pick members from bands you took for your original supergroup. For example, I picked Hope Sandoval from Mazzy Star - I could pick another member of Mazzy Star for this. It would be weird, but I could do it if I wanted to, and so could you. Pervy McPerv picked Stephen Malkmus from Pavement - he could pick another member of Pavement for this, and so could you, but then you couldn’t pick ANOTHER member from Pavement. Get me? It’s exactly like the original supergroup category.
You can do whatever you want to and with these c***s on the way to the Quackverse and then again after we land. It’s up to you. I have a million ideas for punishment, and I’m willing to share. The thing to remember is that these should be people who have punished your ears and/or eyes and/or mind over the years, or even just once. These are people from whom you demand physical recompense, i.e. beatdowns.
So here are the rules:
- 3-6 members
- No members of bands or groups already taken
- Members of bands that do Team Songs are eligible unless otherwise taken (no duplicates)
- Only one member per band from real life per franchise
- Only one member per band that we already have as part of our franchise
When you pick you have to tell me what they play and/or if they sing (just like an album’s liner notes), but you don’t have to tell anyone you are finished picking band members until you are finished with all your picks for this phase. That way no one will know if they have to hurry to get their band member before we get to you - it makes for more exciting strategy.
- Member (phrasing)
- Member (phrasing)
- Member (phrasing)
- Member (phrasing) *
- Member (phrasing) *
- Member (phrasing) *
THE RATIONAL SHIT
Remember that your very survival in the new world could depend on these choices in ways we could never imagine, and your very enjoyment in surviving will definitely depend on these choices in ways that only I and my team of crack (pipe) scientists could ever imagine.
Unless otherwise stated, the people and things below can be anyone/anything except people/things that have already been explicitly picked OR cause conflict with our “No Duplicates” law of the new universe. Please don’t pick any more members of this forum for anything. There are so many reasons, but rather than go into it, let’s just not.
- Team Fictional Owner - Your task (privilege, really) is to choose a fictional character who represents your rival owner. It can’t be someone who was expressly chosen as an individual character (NO DUPLICATES), but that’s the only real prohibition. For example, it can be someone from the Marvel Universe or Star Wars or whatever, as long as that character hasn’t been taken as an individual choice. (In other words, it can’t show up when you type Control + F and the character’s name in the spreadsheet.) It must be a fictional character. For the purposes of this exercise I had to switch up some rivals so everyone is included, but I tried to be fair and make sure everyone would have fun with it. This doesn’t mean that your rivals are permanently changed - you are responsible for saying who your rival is, and you can change it anytime you want by telling me, and after we f*** with each other in this category you may very well change yours out of spite - but you don’t have to. We are not claiming these characters for ourselves or our rivals whole hog - we are just using them for this, like for promotional purposes to f*** with and mock each other - so like Rebs doesn’t have to feel cheated if someone uses Iron Man, etc. - he still basically has exclusive ownership of/friendship with Tony Stark. I think so, anyway - we are so f***ing deep into this now that I can’t remember what we have said about it, or even if Carol Burnett is still alive. I have changed the rivalries in the rivalry box at the bottom of this page to reflect who you should choose for. If you can't read, ask someone who can read to explain it to you.
- Team Babe (No Babe Threads, Though) - You have to pick a babe who represents your team babeness, or just otherwise serves as the babe front (and back) for your team’s brand or image or whatever. In short, pick a babe, but don’t turn this into a babe thread. And don’t be a pig about it.
- Team Movie/Television Lawyer - You get to pick a lawyer from the movies or TV. NO DUPLICATES applies here, so you can’t pick any individual who was already chosen. That should be obvious by now since we are in the 14th (but not yet 15th) phase.
- Team Hill to Die On - This is the thing that is possibly unpopular that you will defend as true (or false) until the very end. To quote my beloved sibling, quote, “Everyone knows what the phrase ‘hill to die on’ means, so let's go with the ol' definition of p*rn: ‘We know it when we see it.’"
- Team Crushing Sports Moment - This is the moment in sports that crushed you. See what I did there? It’s the most emotionally devastating moment - not year, not franchise, not a whole pile of shit, but MOMENT, singular - that you have experienced, that made your heart feel poisoned.
- Team Actor Swap - This is where you take a film role and replace one actor with another. For this one, we are going to abandon NO DUPLICATES, because this isn’t going to steal anything from anyone. We are remaking something with a different actor in place. The example I played with in the last thread was replacing Michael Gambon with LITERALLY ANYF***INGONE! in the role of Dumbledore, except that for this category you have to actually name the new actor replacing the old actor, rather than screaming, quote, “LITERALLY ANYF***INGONE!”
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Here is a list of the bands/musicians I have seen taken. Let me know if any are missing. Remember that singers of Team Songs and bands of Team Albums are available as long as they aren't otherwise taken.
The Bikini Bottom Super Band
The Clash
David Bowie
Rush
Gregory Michael Davis
Claude Scott
Weird Al Yankovic
The Bronx/Mariachi El Bronx
Sebadoh
The Miles Davis Quintet
Chvrches
Prince
AC/DC
Superchunk
Sir Mix-A-Lot
Huey Lewis and the News
Switchfoot
The Who
Beatles
Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band
Wet Leg
Archers of Loaf
The Grateful Dead
Teenage Fanclub
Remember: “Chaos” is not the same thing as “Havoc.” Engage in the former, not the latter. We have a whole ton of stuff left over for LUCKY PHASE THIRTEEN! so don’t worry if categories you wanted aren’t in here - I will champion them later with the boss.
For the first round, we will give everyone 12 hours to get revved up again - for all the succeeding rounds, it will be six hours. The daily clock starts at 8 a.m. and ends at 10 p.m., all times Eastern. This is a MONGOOSE DRAFT, which is the same functionally as a snake draft, but isn’t named after the turboc*** of the animal world.
Don't forget to tag the next person in your pick post AND send a PM.
DRAFT ORDER
Chuck Downie - Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!
Hollywood Couturier - Las Vegas Desert Ducks
Magua - Honolulu Ghibli
ajgoal - Los Angeles Whalers
Captain Dave Poulin - Quebec Lapins
DancingPanther - Providence Platypi
GKJ - Philadelphia Villains
Hurricane28 - Virginia Beach Surge
mja - New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins
pit - Chicago Chimpanzees
BiggE - Jacksonville Methgators
Young Sandwich - Montreal Sexpos
Lord Defect - St. Paul Stay Pufts
Strawberry Fields - Vancouver Beavers
JojoTheWhale - New York M.A.D. Cats
Striiker - Allentown Attack
CanadianFlyer88 - Seattle Sockeyes
BernieParent - Tampa Bay FireSticks
Rebels57 - Portland Fog
Asnito - Tijuana Toads
Chuck Downie - Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!
Hollywood Couturier - Las Vegas Desert Ducks
Magua - Honolulu Ghibli
ajgoal - Los Angeles Whalers
Captain Dave Poulin - Quebec Lapins
DancingPanther - Providence Platypi
GKJ - Philadelphia Villains
Hurricane28 - Virginia Beach Surge
mja - New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins
pit - Chicago Chimpanzees
BiggE - Jacksonville Methgators
Young Sandwich - Montreal Sexpos
Lord Defect - St. Paul Stay Pufts
Strawberry Fields - Vancouver Beavers
JojoTheWhale - New York M.A.D. Cats
Striiker - Allentown Attack
CanadianFlyer88 - Seattle Sockeyes
BernieParent - Tampa Bay FireSticks
Rebels57 - Portland Fog
Asnito - Tijuana Toads
DON’T FORGET TO STOCK UP FOR CHRISTMAS WITH QUACKVERSE MERCH AND/OR SWAG!
RIVALRIES
| HOST | RIVAL | |
| Allentown Attack | vs | New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins |
| Chicago Chimpanzees | vs | Las Vegas Desert Ducks |
| Honolulu Ghibli | vs | Providence Platypi |
| Jacksonville Methgators | vs | Tampa Bay Firesticks |
| Las Vegas Desert Ducks | vs | Chicago Chimpanzees |
| Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha! | vs | Portland Fog |
| Los Angeles Whalers | vs | New York M.A.D. Cats |
| Montreal Sexpos | vs | Quebec Lapins |
| New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins | vs | Allentown Attack |
| New York M.A.D. Cats | vs | Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha! |
| Philadelphia Villains | vs | Virginia Beach Surge |
| Portland Fog | vs | Los Angeles Whalers |
| Providence Platypi | vs | Honolulu Ghibli |
| Quebec Lapins | vs | Montreal Sexpos |
| Seattle Sockeyes | vs | Vancouver Beavers |
| St. Paul Stay Pufts | vs | Tijuana Toads |
| Tampa Bay Firesticks | vs | Jacksonville Methgators |
| Tijuana Toads | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
| Vancouver Beavers | vs | Seattle Sockeyes |
| Virginia Beach Surge | vs | Philadelphia Villains |
NO NAMING NAMES, NO PICK TIPPING, NO ICE CREAM BANTER, NO TWITCH SHIT, SNITCHES GET STITCHES!
LEARN TO F***ING READ!
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE OFFICIAL MERCHANDISE
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