Captain Dave Poulin
Imaginary Cat
Welcome To The 20/21 Flyers Board NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot, PHASE FIVE! Part One!
We have made it through four stressful phases and three nitpicked expansions. There has been patience, impatience, picking, dog walking, throat clearing, deliberating, number crunching, broken pottery, fist pumps, high fives, criticism, whining, and above all, more whining. But it’s completed now, more or less, as far as you know. We’re nowhere near finished drafting, nor will we be soon, nor will we be ever.
We enter PHASE FIVE! with our loins girded and our bosoms heaving and our enthusiasm dripping all over the place like drool out of Kev’s filthy snout. As always, continue to be illiterate - I am not going to let that stop me from typing the information in here.
LEGEND PLAYERS
It is especially important now and moving forward to carefully check the lists on the first page and in that spreadsheet to make sure you don’t pick someone who has already been chosen. I know it’s confusing, but we have chosen a shit ton of shit. And players.
This could be seen as our “Second Legend Line,” since we already have one Legend Line and calling it anything else would be defective. The same rules as PHASE THREE! apply - they don’t have to be alive, and they can’t be currently playing professional hockey. We will use Hockey Reference to confirm positional integrity. Don’t worry about “right” and “left” for defensemen. We aren’t taking more goalies because we already have two, and there aren’t enough anyway, and it was hard enough to get two. So these are the positions you need to fill as we continue to pretend that hockey matters.
- LW
- C
- RW
- D
- D
IMPORTANT RATIONAL STUFF
One thing I want to say about this at this point. In my humble opinion, we have had some cases where people have tried to circumvent and/or overwhelm the parameters of the spirit of the categories in order to “dominate,” especially when it comes to scope, size, power, etc. That can be awesome at times, but I want you to keep in mind that your first priority should probably be to pick things which benefit your organization and enrich your new society. Having said that, dig into #Levels early and often.
Unless otherwise stated, the people and things below can be anyone/anything except people/things that have already been explicitly picked OR cause conflict with our “no duplicates” law of the new universe.
- Team Non-Defunct Sports Franchise - so this is actually an existing, functioning team in the real world which exists and is not deceased. It can be any sport. You don't get the players, just the f***ing like organization and money.
- Team Instrument - we are leaving this deliberately open to interpretation. You can go crazy, but just try not to be a penis about it.
- Team Year - pick a year and it’s yours. You aren’t taking stuff away from other people - you are claiming the right to experience this whole year, or parts of it, or whatever, whenever you want, and no one else can. You could also basically think about this as the year which represents your organization. Or don’t.
- Team Nostalgic Thing - see what you can do with this one. Here is an example: you feel nostalgic about going to Blockbuster Video on a Friday night at 5 p.m. to rent a video, so you pick Blockbuster Video. It’s an awesome category - use your imagination.
- Team Powerplay Sponsor - pretty self-explanatory. Just remember - no duplicates.
- Team Non-Alcoholic Beverage - another easy one to understand.
- Dealers Choice - same as before, but this time when selecting something you must say what position they are filling. You can't just claim the moon just because it's the moon, you need to select it as your "planet" (yes, I know it's not a planet). That was HC's example and I had nothing to do with it, but I support him 100%. Maybe try to lessen the scope of these a little this time.
I can also announce that there will be special MOVIE FRANCHISE EDITION BLOUSES available for discerning shoppers. Stay tuned. Here is a prototype:
Remember: “Chaos” is not the same thing as “Havoc.” Engage in the former, not the latter. We have a whole ton of stuff left over for PHASE SIX! so don’t worry if categories you wanted aren’t in here - I will champion them later with the boss.
For the first round, we will give everyone 12 hours to get revved up again - for all the succeeding rounds, it will be six hours. The daily clock starts at 8 a.m. and ends at 10 p.m., all times Eastern. This is a MONGOOSE DRAFT, which is the same functionally as a snake draft, but isn’t named after the **** of the animal world.
Don't forget to tag the next person in your pick post AND send a PM.
DRAFT ORDER
1. Flytimmo - Boston FlyTimmos
2. pit - Chicago Chimpanzees
3. FlyerNutter - Iqaluit Pain
4. mja - New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins
5. ajgoal - Los Angeles Whalers
6. GKJ - Philadelphia Villains
7. Magua
8. Captain Dave Poulin - Quebec Lapins
9. BernieParent - Tampa Bay FireSticks
10. Striiker - Allentown Attack
11. Chuck Downie - Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!
12. DancingPanther - Providence Platypi
13. JojoTheWhale - New York M.A.D. Cats
14. Chinatown88 - Hay-On-Wye Bookworms
15. CanadianFlyer88 - Seattle Sockeyes
16. Rebels57 - Portland Fog
17. Strawberry Fields - Vancouver Beavers
18. BiggE - Jacksonville Methgators
19. Lord Defect - St. Paul Stay Pufts
20. Hurricane28 - Virginia Beach Surge
21. Hollywood Couturier - Las Vegas Desert Ducks
22. Young Sandwich - Montreal Sexpos
1. Flytimmo - Boston FlyTimmos
2. pit - Chicago Chimpanzees
3. FlyerNutter - Iqaluit Pain
4. mja - New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins
5. ajgoal - Los Angeles Whalers
6. GKJ - Philadelphia Villains
7. Magua
8. Captain Dave Poulin - Quebec Lapins
9. BernieParent - Tampa Bay FireSticks
10. Striiker - Allentown Attack
11. Chuck Downie - Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!
12. DancingPanther - Providence Platypi
13. JojoTheWhale - New York M.A.D. Cats
14. Chinatown88 - Hay-On-Wye Bookworms
15. CanadianFlyer88 - Seattle Sockeyes
16. Rebels57 - Portland Fog
17. Strawberry Fields - Vancouver Beavers
18. BiggE - Jacksonville Methgators
19. Lord Defect - St. Paul Stay Pufts
20. Hurricane28 - Virginia Beach Surge
21. Hollywood Couturier - Las Vegas Desert Ducks
22. Young Sandwich - Montreal Sexpos
DON’T FORGET TO STOCK UP FOR CHRISTMAS WITH QUACKVERSE MERCH AND/OR SWAG!
RIVALRIES
| HOST | RIVAL | |
| Allentown Attack | vs | New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins |
| Boston FlyTimmos | vs | Los Angeles Whalers |
| Chicago Chimpanzees | vs | Las Vegas Desert Ducks |
| Hay-On-Wye Bookworms | vs | Iqaluit Pain |
| Iqaluit Pain | vs | Hay-On-Wye Bookworms |
| Jacksonville Methgators | vs | Tampa Bay FireSticks |
| Las Vegas Desert Ducks | vs | Providence Platypi |
| Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha! | vs | Boston FlyTimmos |
| Los Angeles Whalers | vs | New York M.A.D. Cats |
| Montreal Sexpos | vs | Quebec Lapins |
| New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins | vs | Allentown Attack |
| New York M.A.D. Cats | vs | Montreal Sexpos |
| Philadelphia Villains | vs | New York M.A.D. Cats |
| Portland Fog | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
| Providence Platypi | vs | Las Vegas Desert Ducks |
| Quebec Lapins | vs | Montreal Sexpos |
| Seattle Sockeyes | vs | Vancouver Beavers |
| St. Paul Stay Pufts | vs | Iqaluit Pain |
| Tampa Bay FireSticks | vs | Jacksonville Methgators |
| Vancouver Beavers | vs | Seattle Sockeyes |
| Virginia Beach Surge | vs | |
| Magua Maguas | vs |
NO NAMING NAMES, NO PICK TIPPING, NO ICE CREAM BANTER, NO TWITCH SHIT, SNITCHES GET STITCHES!
LEARN TO F***ING READ!
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE OFFICIAL MERCHANDISE
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE ON INSTAGRAM
Last edited:
/https://www.therecord.com/content/dam/therecord/sports/hockey/2015/02/19/jersey-worn-by-old-time-nhl-great-eddie-shore-goes-up-for-auction/B821870696Z.1_20150219181946_000_GFA1E5OO7.7_Gallery.jpg)
