Captain Dave Poulin
Imaginary Cat
Welcome To The Flyers Board NHL Mega-Mock Draft Reboot, A WHOLE NOTHER PHASE TWENTY-ONE!
I’ll tell you one thing – this sure is a phase. We have some spectacular new categories for you to pore over, consider, whine about, f*** up, misread and mismanage. Exciting times, innit? They are going to have to be, because the bastard who uploaded Heart Signal China: Season Four failed to upload the final two episodes, so I’m stuck here in a REAL frustrating situation.
Also, the c***s at FOX, to a man, can’t actually pronounce “World Cup.” I wouldn’t bring that up in here, but my brain is simmering and my piss is boiling. I just simply cannot.
THE RATIONAL SHIT
- Team Arcade Game - This is the only arcade game you will have in your cute little kingdom out there. Unless we do Team Arcade Game II. It has to be a game from an actual arcade, if you can believe it. You can’t take anything which has already been taken, if you can also believe that.
- Team Queen - A real or fictional queen who will … rule? Figuratively or literally, you decide. You can be loopholey about it, but strict NO DUPLICATES rules apply, so it can’t be someone from anything which is taken. If you pick “Queen Bees,” I will cut you in real life, because that is stupid.
- Team Sorcerer - A real or fictional sorceror who will … ensorcle? I don’t know exactly what they will do – these f***ers are usually tricksters, so they will probably use their magic to make mischief, but you’d like to think they will be on your side most of the time. Strict NO DUPLICATES rules apply, so it can’t be someone from anything which is taken, so don’t try sniping Gandalf from Bernie. There is a twist to this one – NO LOOPHOLES. You have to pick an actual sorceror (or wizard, obviously).
- Team Children’s Book - As far as rules go, we will use basic common sense. I know what you’re thinking – “Where the f*** are we going to find that in this group of clowns?” We’ll work it out. I’ll probably have to smite a few picks with vetoes as we go along, but we’ll try to be fairly loose. Normal NO DUPLICATES standards for this one.
- Team Retro Clothing Item - I dread the choice of hat that DancingPanther is going to choose for this one, but what can you do? The best way to handle this one is probably to find a picture of what you want and post that with a name which will fit in the boxes (for once). I think the only duplicates which this could f*** with are the “Team Fashion” choices, so don’t duplicate anyone’s choice in there.
- Team Ancient Civilization - This one will be fun because we will get a nice write-up from Biff that is interesting to read. The civilization has to be from real life, so nothing fictional. Regular NO DUPLICATES rules apply, so don’t choose a civilization which has been explicitly and wholly chosen before. I don’t think there has been one, but check to be sure.
- Team Element - This is the wrong thing for me to speculate on – I am horrific at science – but you should choose an element from the … table of elements? Is that what it’s called, that thing with the Scrabble squares that scientists use in their … f***ing … experiments? Pick one of those. NO LOOPHOLES, so you can’t be cheeky and say “I am picking the element of surprise.”
- Team Golf Course/Club - Some of us have courses that we go to and play at regularly. Some of us know of famous courses we would like to bring with us. Some of us have no knowledge or feelings about golf whatsoever. Google is your friend. Just do what we always do – think about some connection to your team #Lore and find one. If any of you pick “5 Iron” etc. for this, I will cut you in real life to the point where you are dehydrated from blood loss.
- Team Talk Show Host - This is a talk show host, if you can believe it. Don’t pick anyone who has been picked for something else. We’ll define “Talk Show” extremely loosely. I hesitate to say that, because of Defect I and Defect II, but that’s the way she goes.
- Team Music Video - This one is pretty f***ing great, if you think about it. There are so many great videos out there – some for the video element, some for the music element, a lot for both. Don’t worry about duplicates for this one – it gets a little tedious trying to always protect everything, even though it’s important, but for this one we are just focusing on the videos.
- Team Cartoonist - This one, on the other hand, is strict as f*** with duplicates, and I’ll tell you why – if any of you jokers took Bill Watterson or Berkley Breathed, I’d probably throw myself in front of a train. So I’m calling a selfish audible in exchange for having to type all this shit up all the time. So CATEGORY 6 NO DUPLICATES standards apply – that means you can’t pick a cartoonist involved in anything which has been picked before. Unless you want to just give me those two and pick whatever you want – you can let me know. Either way, here is the good news – you don’t have to just pick a comic strip artist - you can pick the creator of an anime series or movie. So you find a series or movie you love, go to the Wiki page and look up the creator/director. Two notes: Hayao Miyazaki is off limits to everyone except Magua, and Walt Disney is off limits to everyone except Cannon. Because it would obviously be very stupid for them to be with anyone else, just like my two would be ridiculous anywhere else.
- Dealer's Choice III - Don’t choose something ridiculous like “The Moon” or “Oxygen” or “Water” or “The Internet.” If you have chosen one of these things in the past, don’t take offense at me calling them “ridiculous” – you made a ridiculous choice and shouldn’t do that again – it’s not the end of the world (yet). Think of the categories we have had and choose something that is approximately the “size” of something that could fit into one of them, even if there hasn’t yet been a category for your thing. NO DUPLICATES!
Remember: “Chaos” is not the same thing as “Havoc.” Engage in the former, not the latter. We have a whole ton of stuff left over for future phases, so don’t worry if categories you wanted aren’t in here - I will champion them later with the boss.
For the first round, we will give everyone 12 hours to get revved up again - for all the succeeding rounds, it will be six hours. The daily clock starts at 8 a.m. and ends at 10 p.m., all times Eastern. This is a MONGOOSE DRAFT, which is the same functionally as a snake draft, but isn’t named after the turboc*** of the animal world.
Don't forget to tag the next person in your pick post AND send a PM.
DRAFT ORDER
Beef Invictus - D.C. Mutineers
mja - New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins
pit - Chicago Chimpanzees
Lord Defect - St. Paul Stay Pufts
Young Sandwich - Montreal Sexpos
JojoTheWhale - New York M.A.D. Cats
BernieParent - Tampa Bay FireSticks
ajgoal - Los Angeles Whalers
Magua - Honolulu Ghibli
BigToe - Stockholm Simps
BiggE - Jacksonville Methgators
Asnito - Tijuana Toads
CanadianFlyer88 - Seattle Sockeyes
GKJ - Philadelphia Villains
Chuck Downie - Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!
Hollywood Couturier - Las Vegas Desert Ducks
Captain Dave Poulin - Quebec Lapins
Rebels57 - Portland Fog
DancingPanther - Providence Platypi
Strawberry Fields - Vancouver Beavers
Striiker - Allentown Attack
DON’T FORGET TO STOCK UP FOR CHRISTMAS WITH QUACKVERSE MERCH AND/OR SWAG!
Beef Invictus - D.C. Mutineers
mja - New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins
pit - Chicago Chimpanzees
Lord Defect - St. Paul Stay Pufts
Young Sandwich - Montreal Sexpos
JojoTheWhale - New York M.A.D. Cats
BernieParent - Tampa Bay FireSticks
ajgoal - Los Angeles Whalers
Magua - Honolulu Ghibli
BigToe - Stockholm Simps
BiggE - Jacksonville Methgators
Asnito - Tijuana Toads
CanadianFlyer88 - Seattle Sockeyes
GKJ - Philadelphia Villains
Chuck Downie - Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!
Hollywood Couturier - Las Vegas Desert Ducks
Captain Dave Poulin - Quebec Lapins
Rebels57 - Portland Fog
DancingPanther - Providence Platypi
Strawberry Fields - Vancouver Beavers
Striiker - Allentown Attack
DON’T FORGET TO STOCK UP FOR CHRISTMAS WITH QUACKVERSE MERCH AND/OR SWAG!
RIVALRIES
| HOST | RIVAL | |
| Allentown Attack | vs | New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins |
| Chicago Chimpanzees | vs | Las Vegas Desert Ducks |
| D.C. Mutineers | vs | Seattle Sockeyes |
| Honolulu Ghibli | vs | Jacksonville Methgators |
| Jacksonville Methgators | vs | Tampa Bay Firesticks |
| Las Vegas Desert Ducks | vs | Providence Platypi |
| Les Comiques de Saint-Louis-du-Ha!Ha! | vs | Quebec Lapins |
| Los Angeles Whalers | vs | New York M.A.D. Cats |
| Montreal Sexpos | vs | Quebec Lapins |
| New Jersey Flaming Zeppelins | vs | Allentown Attack |
| New York M.A.D. Cats | vs | Montreal Sexpos |
| Philadelphia Villains | vs | New York M.A.D. Cats |
| Portland Fog | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
| Providence Platypi | vs | Las Vegas Desert Ducks |
| Quebec Lapins | vs | Montreal Sexpos |
| Seattle Sockeyes | vs | Vancouver Beavers |
| St. Paul Stay Pufts | vs | Tijuana Toads |
| Tampa Bay Firesticks | vs | Jacksonville Methgators |
| Tijuana Toads | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
| Vancouver Beavers | vs | Seattle Sockeyes |
| Virginia Beach Surge | vs | St. Paul Stay Pufts |
NO NAMING NAMES, NO PICK TIPPING, NO ICE CREAM BANTER, NO TWITCH SHIT, SNITCHES GET STITCHES!
LEARN TO F***ING READ!
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE OFFICIAL MERCHANDISE
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE ON INSTAGRAM
LEARN TO F***ING READ!
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE OFFICIAL MERCHANDISE
QUACKVERSE MEGADRAFT LEAGUE ON INSTAGRAM
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