HF Wrestling Draft Round 1: quoipourquoi vs GongshowWilly

[Le Barron de HF]

quoipourquoi

Terrible Ted the Wrestling Bear (2-0) has gained possession of the Infinity Gauntlet! But which wrestlers holding the Infinity Gems will be competing in the gauntlet-style elimination match at the end of quoipourquoi Has an Infinity War? And what will happen to HFBoards when they snap their fingers?

Returning villains Rikidōzan (0-1), Stephanie McMahon (0-1), and Madison Eagles (1-0) compete in a Sinister Six-Pack Challenge against some of the most dangerous masked faces from wrestling’s rogues gallery: Arachnaman, Battling Turtle #2, and Killshot.

Sparks will fly when GLOWbot escorts the Canadian Ninjas, Portia Perez (0-1) & Nicole Matthews, to the ring against Veda Scott (1-0) & Shockwave the Robot. Which robot will have its Mind Stone ripped from its metal skull?

Rosemary has an opportunity for revenge against Sexy Star (1-1) inside Hell in a Cell! With a spot in the main event on the line, someone is going to get her Soul Stone beaten out of her.

Catrina and Sonny Onoo are sure to get involved in the action when Fenix faces Ultimo Dragon (1-0) in an Iron Man Match. Will the bout last the scheduled 60 minutes... or will misappropriation of the Time Stone by one of the managers extend the duration of the contest via endless looping time?

The ghost of Mascarita Sagrada has possessed King Cuerno (1-0) with the Reality Stone and turned the hunter into Fantasma! Now it’s up to legendary fighter of the occult El Santo (1-0) to exorcise the demon from his friend... by busting ghosts!

Cheerleader Melissa (2-0) returns from her victories in an Island Deathmatch and a Triple-Threat Iron Man match to face her toughest challenge yet: Ronda Rousey. Only one will be the Last Woman Standing and the holder of the Power Stone.

We’re taking a rocket to Mars for the Space Stone as quoipourquoi’s two favorite wrestlers, Rey Mysterio (1-0) & Trish Stratus, team up for the first time since the 2003 Spike TV Video Game Awards in a Zero-Gravity Domo de la Muerte Cage Match. Will they escape together or will Terrible Ted eat so much that he’ll get stuck in the narrow opening of the dome like Winnie the Pooh at Rabbit’s house?

vs

GongshowWilly

Link: poster 1004 pop 60

Pop Culture 2018 - TDCWF ( the Trillion Dollar Corporation Wrestling Federation )
Live from the beautiful Trillion Dollar Casino , Wedding Chapel and Resort in Brocket , Alberta , owned by Trillion Dollar Corporation members and tag team champions - Tatanka and Wahoo McDaniel .The TDCWF has been thrown upside down since Trillionaire Ted bought the company a few months ago. He has formed the Trillion Dollar Corporation , and already has the Tag Team Championship , the Women's Championship and the Cruiserweight Championship. Who knows who is next …. money can buy anything. And at the casino , the house usually wins . All Trillion Dollar Ted needs to add are the TDCWF Championship and the World Heavyweight Championship belts , owned currently by Daniel Bryan. As if that wasn't enough ,Ted has declared himself the Trillion Dollar Champion and his son , Ted JR , the Million Dollar Champion and will stop at nothing to make sure the Corporation owns all the belts !
Ted has spared no expense on celebrities tonight - Legendary Rocker, Alice Cooper and he will play a concert after the show , MLB legend Pete Rose and he will be signing autographs for money in lobby later ( well he lives in the casino , and that's why he is really here ) , Boxing legend Floyd Money Mayweather JR , and Pop Culture Legend himself - the master of ceremonies / designer and generally creepy dude - Andy Warhol .

Also calling the action for this event , will be none other than the dynamic Governor duo - Jesse the Body Ventura and action superstar, Arnold Schwarzenegger , who starred in the blockbuster , Last Action Hero - as rough and tumble cop - Jack Slater. (we couldn't afford the "real" Jack Slater , so we got someone who played him in the movies )
Jesse : "Welcome everyone to TDCWF's PPV - Arnold, thanks for coming tonight "
Arnold : "No problemo . We're going to play a wonderful game called, Who is my daddy and what does he do?"
Jesse : " OK John Kimble , don't make me go Captain Freedom on your ass …..Everyone on earth is watching this casino tonight !! I also think other creatures, from out of this world might be watching … like aliens . The government has been hiding it for years . Aliens love gold and wrestling ! I have also heard a theory tonight that - Papa Shango, the Godfather and Kama are all the same person ???"
Arnold : " I have a headache "
Jesse : " It might be a tumor "
Arnold : " it's not a tumor !!! "

Match 1 - Main Event - Best 2 Out Of 3 Falls
3 belts on the line - the TDCWF Championship , the World Heavyweight Championship and the Trillion Dollar Champion belt
We will have one winner tonight and unify the belts into the - XXXFW Trillion Dollar Heavyweight Champion.
Double Champion - XXXFW Championship and the World Heavyweight Championship - Daniel Bryan . Yes Yes Yes Yes - with his wife Brie Bella at ringside VS the Trillion Dollar Champion , the CEO of the Trillion Dollar Corporation - the man who can buy anything - the Trillion Dollar Man Ted Dibiase - with manager Sensational Sherri and his bodyguard - Virgil

Match 2 - Intercontinental Championship Match - 10 Star Hollywood Match
Not much has to be said about this match. Two of the most flamboyant and skilled wrestlers to step into the squared circle. This match is oozing charisma.....
Champion - rated 5 stars - the King of Strong Style - Shinsuke Nakamura VS Challenger rated 5 stars - the Shaman of Sexy - John Morrison

Match 3 - Last Man Standing 80's Arcade Match - no DQ - Rolls of quarters are allowed - Must win by knockout
After allot of altercations between these two back stage, the hatred is too much to contain. CEO Ted has decided they need to settle this in the ring . All the wrestlers will be coming out from behind the curtain to watch this match. No love loss between these two . Put the women and children to bed, no DQ , last man standing wins.
the Dynamite Kid VS Jacques Rougeau

Match 4 - Man Tag Team Match - Old Days VS The New Day - 6 Man Tag Team Match
For Breakfast , the New Day eats Botty O's , the Von Erich's eat their Wheaties . Fritz, the old school wrestling legend is not pleased with the antics of The New Day and has been heard calling his opponents , "trombone playing , pink and blue tight wearing , sissies" . Fritz , armed with his "claw" and his two sons , will step in to defend wrestling's honor.
The "new" fan favorites - Big E , Koffi Kingston and Xavior Woods -The New Day VS the "old" fan favorites - from the legendary Von Erich family - Kerry, David and Fritz - The Von Erich's

Match 5 - Cruiserweight Championship Match - Loser Goes Home
Although travelling similar paths , these 2 have never faced before . Two excellent technicians , and quiet guys. The loser will pack his bags and go home never to return to the TDCWF again . With high stakes on the line , advantage in this match might go to Malenko . He and his manager ,The Godfather, joined the corporation a few months ago . Malenko now lives in the Trillion Dollar Casino with his hoes , and does not want to give this up .
Challenger - The Ideal Canadian - Lance Storm VS The Champion, Trillion Dollar Corporation member - the man of a 1000 holds, "Double Ho Seven" - Dean Malenko with his manager The Godfather ( always looking over his shoulder ) and his hoes .

Match 6 - Tag Team Champion Match - Cowboys VS Indians
There is only one way you can fix the corrupt Trillion Dollar Casino … you send in the Gunn's !!
VS the Champions , the corrupt casino owners and Trillion Dollar Corporation members - The Native American Tatanka and the powerhouse , Wahoo McDaniel - managed by their bouncer at the casino - Kama Mustafa
And to try and get the odds out of the hands of the house , the Smoking Gunn's will be managed by the Gambler - Jeff Gamble . The Gambler will keep the dealers and Kama busy tonight .

Match 7 - Woman's Championship Match - You Insult My Baby's Daddy ?
After months of the corporation attacking her and her husband Brie has demanded a title match with the champ , Scary Sherri .
Challenger , accompanied by her husband , Daniel Bryan - Brie Bella VS Champion , Trillion Dollar Corporation member , Sensational Sherri , with the Trillion Dollar Man Ted Dibiase

Match 8 - Schools Out Match
Sid is mad at Pete Rose for trying to charge him $50 for an autograph and has vowed to powerbomb him threw his autograph table . Only Big Cass stands in his way. Two big men about to collide .
Big Cass , he is 7 feet tall and you can't teach that - managed by Pete Rose VS Trillion Dollar Corporation member Sid Vicious , he is Sid and psycho and you can't teach that - managed by Alice Cooper

Undercard

Match 9 - This Ain't No "IRS Scam" Match
This is not a fake phone call from India telemarketers ….. This is real ……...enough is enough . No amount of iTunes cards will get you out of this one.
After numerous calls/letters sent threw the mail and no response , the IRS has no choice , Floyd "Money " Mayweather JR , in the crowd tonight , has been summoned to the ring , owing $22.5 million in taxes to the IRS …..and this won't be no boxing match. IRS intends to take $22.5 million out of his hide.
Trillion Dollar Corporation member I.R.S. Irwin R. Schyster VS Floyd " Money" Mayweather JR

Match 10 - Praise the Lord ,Halilyah - Million Dollar Belt Match
Trillion Dollar Ted wants to spread the word of God , and he has hired his son Ted JR to help him with this cause. They have opened up a 24/7 wedding chapel in the casino , please book your next wedding there and you too can be married by the Million Dollar Minister. But this is not enough for Ted SR . He has demanded , Ted JR squash all other religions , espescially the dark ones . Tonight he takes on voodoo !
Challenger - the terrifying , Papa Shango VS Champion - Trillion Dollar Corporation member , the Million Dollar Minister - Ted Dibiase JR with manager Virgil

Match 11 - Dark , Dark , Dark Match
Spoiler - the most controversial and offensive incident ever done in wrestling
First ever single competitor pole match . No Poems tonight . A match stipulation …. Lanny has said he can end this with his arms tied behind his back and due to casino rules, this match will have to take place out back in the dark, dirty alley behind the casino . I have no idea how he will finish alone …..
The Genius , Leaping Lanny Poffo VS himself.

Jesse : " not sure who's gonna have the stomach to ref this one "
Arnold : "Hasta la vista, baby! ……. I'll be back " gets up and heads into alley . Andy Warhol is already out back waiting for this match to start

Click to read more...

 

[TheMistyStranger]

Catrina and Sonny Onoo are sure to get involved in the action when Fenix faces Ultimo Dragon (1-0) in an Iron Man Match. Will the bout last the scheduled 60 minutes... or will misappropriation of the Time Stone by one of the managers extend the duration of the contest via endless looping time?


Cheerleader Melissa (2-0) returns from her victories in an Island Deathmatch and a Triple-Threat Iron Man match to face her toughest challenge yet: Ronda Rousey. Only one will be the Last Woman Standing and the holder of the Power Stone.

I really want to see both of these. Well done!

Arnold : "No problemo . We're going to play a wonderful game called, Who is my daddy and what does he do?"
Jesse : " OK John Kimble , don't make me go Captain Freedom on your ass …..Everyone on earth is watching this casino tonight !! I also think other creatures, from out of this world might be watching … like aliens . The government has been hiding it for years . Aliens love gold and wrestling ! I have also heard a theory tonight that - Papa Shango, the Godfather and Kama are all the same person ???"
Arnold : " I have a headache "
Jesse : " It might be a tumor "
Arnold : " it's not a tumor !!! "

Match 3 - Last Man Standing 80's Arcade Match - no DQ - Rolls of quarters are allowed - Must win by knockout
After allot of altercations between these two back stage, the hatred is too much to contain. CEO Ted has decided they need to settle this in the ring . All the wrestlers will be coming out from behind the curtain to watch this match. No love loss between these two . Put the women and children to bed, no DQ , last man standing wins.
the Dynamite Kid VS Jacques Rougeau

 

[quoipourquoi]

That roll of quarters match.

 

[Le Barron de HF]

Will have to wait it out for this one to decide who deserves my vote more but props to Gongshow for finding a way to use Charles Wright, out of all people, in 3 different ways that make total sense. I also dig Sid's manager.

 

[quoipourquoi]

Will have to wait it out for this one to decide who deserves my vote more but props to Gongshow for finding a way to use Charles Wright, out of all people, in 3 different ways that make total sense.

Oh, man. I didn’t even catch that!

For one, that tells you how versatile Charles Wright was to handle three distinct personalities, but to weave all three into a card organically like this?!

*chef’s kiss*

 

[CHGoalie27]

Will have to wait it out for this one to decide who deserves my vote more but props to Gongshow for finding a way to use Charles Wright, out of all people, in 3 different ways that make total sense. I also dig Sid's manager.

It seems I might just let you and @HandsomeHollywood do my thinking for me...

This one is really tough, both are heavy heavy spectacles I think...

 

[Cor]

I legitimately have no idea

Awesome job to you both

 

[GKJ]

Mad respect to @quoipourquoi for getting Kate Nash into this draft.

 

[ColePens]

How the f*** is this a first round match? The creativity is through the damn roof. I am going to need time to decide. So well done.

 

[quoipourquoi]

Mad respect to @quoipourquoi for getting Kate Nash into this draft.

“Made of Bricks” is one of my favorite albums. I didn’t even recognize her on GLOW for the first few episodes!

I came thisclose to blowing up my main event for Veda Scott vs. Britannica and Rey Mysterio & Trish Stratus vs. Canadian Ninjas, but once you photoshop a cartoon luchador 619ing a planet into a bear wearing the Infinity Gauntlet, there’s no turning back.

 

[GongShowWilly]

I'm in tough here … great card @quoipourquoi
I didn't want to go up against the bear

 

[JackSlater]

Well that was unexpected.

quoipourquoi: I'm pretty ill equipped to discuss this card. I don't know or don't care for many of the wrestlers, but I think you must have achieved the vision you had. I do enjoy a card with a clear theme. As someone very challenged artistically, I am generally confused but impressed by your graphics. I needed Alvarez to be eaten by the bear though.

GongShowWilly: I liked this card a lot, even more than I expected to with the names involved. I chuckled at the cruiserweight match, I like the overall theme and the talents involved, I like the callback to real life with Dynamite vs Rougeau and actually considered something like that before. Very well executed. My only issues would be the Sid/Cass match and the Sherri match (I love Sherri, but not as a wrestler) but I can go gamble and carouse during that time. The biggest negative is that cheap JackSlater knockoff, but no card is perfect I guess.

 

[GKJ]

“Made of Bricks” is one of my favorite albums. I didn’t even recognize her on GLOW for the first few episodes!

I came thisclose to blowing up my main event for Veda Scott vs. Britannica and Rey Mysterio & Trish Stratus vs. Canadian Ninjas, but once you photoshop a cartoon luchador 619ing a planet into a bear wearing the Infinity Gauntlet, there’s no turning back.

Saw her here in Philly a few years ago. She’s done a few hits for our radio station.

 

[GongShowWilly]

Well that was unexpected.

GongShowWilly: I liked this card a lot, even more than I expected to with the names involved. I chuckled at the cruiserweight match, I like the overall theme and the talents involved, I like the callback to real life with Dynamite vs Rougeau and actually considered something like that before. Very well executed. My only issues would be the Sid/Cass match and the Sherri match (I love Sherri, but not as a wrestler) but I can go gamble and carouse during that time. The biggest negative is that cheap JackSlater knockoff, but no card is perfect I guess.

I don't like the Sid/Cass match either , was a plan E or F …. I was trying to do a tag team of New Age Outlaws vs Cass and Enzo , but Road Dogg got picked shortly after . So I tried to think of another tag match . Went with a cowboys and Indians , not many tag options left at that point . But that's when I came up with the casino / Trillion dollar man theme . And from that pick on , I went with that theme . Thus the Sherri match and most of my odd ball picks .
But I like my card more this way , things just kinda fell into place. I would have loved to get a few other guys , but hard to draft who you want in this thing .
Next year maybe I can draft the real Jack Slater ( I thought we were gonna do 1 vs 16 … etc and thought I would be against you . Needed a plan )

 

[Disclose]

what?

not voting yet. you're both insane.

 

[ColePens]

Every time I go to vote, I pull back. I can't freaking pick one yet.

 

[HandsomeHollywood]

Thought about this one for a good while. Roll of quarters does it for me as a tie breaker.
Very creative and good stuff from both.

 

[quoipourquoi]

I don't like the Sid/Cass match either , was a plan E or F …. I was trying to do a tag team of New Age Outlaws vs Cass and Enzo , but Road Dogg got picked shortly after . So I tried to think of another tag match . Went with a cowboys and Indians , not many tag options left at that point .

Nice recovery.

The only wrestler I wanted that I didn’t get was Prince Puma. In retrospect, it makes more sense with Fenix in that match, since his character can die and revive like Dr. Strange did with the Time Stone, and he can have Catrina who already has a gimmick where she controls matches with a stone.

I was also originally going to do the match for the Infinity Gauntlet as a “Honey in the Bank Ladder Match”, but “Gauntlet” is literally a match type, so I went with that.

Other than that, the main card of Part 1 has gone exactly according to plan. Next year, it’s all about the post-apocalyptic “Days of Hockey’s Future Past”.

 

[les Habs]

@quoipourquoi : Your card... I don't know what to say. I'm just so impressed. The presentation is 10 stars out of 5 and the creativity is just... I did not like the idea of Terrible Ted the wrestling bear last year from a cruelty to animals standpoint, but you make it so hard to not like your idea. As you've been drafting and before voting and writing this I've done plenty of homework on your picks and it's been a ton of fun. It's also really helped me understand some of your matches a bit more, but I'm still not sure I can comment on them. And the venues... Amazing. Just watching you draft this year and remembering last year's card to a degree, it makes me want to go full quoipourquoi next year or at the very least be an advisor whether you like it or not! Just a lot of undrafted talent that I think would fit your card style and creativity. Anyway, amazing work.

@GongShowWilly : OK, I am in shock here. Another amazingly creative card that even after PMs I had now idea. Love the Federation, love the venue choice, love the ideas, like most of the matches... I'll say two things. Don't like all the celebrity add-ons generally, but love them here the way you wrote it. The whole Pete Rose living in the lobby had LOLing. Looking at who you picked I would have NEVER seen this coming. Never. And it really almost all adds up. Thinking of another card or two I'd expect them to add up better, but they don't compared to yours. Love The New Day vs von Erichs and the whole cereal bit and "sissies" bit. Mike and Fritz alone will drive that home! I will say that I liked your undercard to the extent you could have moved some of it higher on the card overall. Anyway, so well put together.

I hate saying this and it's not over yet, but I honestly don't know that I can vote here. Way too tough and I think it's unfortunate you two were paired up in the first round. Rest of the group is lucky if you ask me.

 

[Virtanen18]

Finding this very difficult to read honestly.

 

[M.C.G. 31]

Finding this very difficult to read honestly.

It’s why I can’t vote lol

 

[quoipourquoi]

Finding this very difficult to read honestly.

In my case, the comic book font for the card was pieced together letter-by-letter on a monochrome bitmap.