HandsomeHollywood
Brooke Shields ain't got nothin'
- Mar 20, 2017
- 1,531
- 1,219
branimal84:
-VS-
mcfclee:
-VS-
Burkiemaniq:
Ted Turner's Nautical Disaster
Boating enthusiast and media visionary Ted Turner has once again thrown his proverbial captain's hat into the squared circle. Yearning to be free of any governmental oversight, Ted has targeted international waters as his card's location with a ring constructed atop one of his many multi-million dollar yachts. Although Ted had to be talked out of pirating his old television channel, TBS Superstation, by hooking up a 50 pound c-band dish on the starboard bow, he was assured there are far less troublesome ways to go about broadcasting his event.
If you're going to run a show in uncharted waters, you need the right kind of security to fend off any criminals who may wish to ruin the festivities. Although Ted was advised he could hire any elite squad of mercenaries out there, he explicitly said there was only one man for the job. A man who was tough enough to fend off the entire WWF locker room in 1994. A man who does not even sleep. He just waits.
That man is Chuck Norris.
And of course, how can Ted Turner present a wrasslin' card without the most overpaid man in ring announcing history, Michael Buffer.
Finally, Ted needed a big attraction. What do Americans love more than unregulated mayhem? Monster trucks! Ted hired former professional wrestler and former monster truck driver Madusa to bring her gigantic truck aboard for the fans to marvel at as it looked over the ring.
Iron Mike Sharpe vs. Barry Horowitz (Walk The Plank Match)
Special Enforcers: Jean Pierre Lafitte & "Pirate" Paul Burchill
Following last year’s astonishing double count out in which both men lost their wrestling licences with neither managing to pull out a win, the duo have negotiated another shot at greatness. Crafting quite possibly the most dangerous match imaginable with the highest stakes possible, the loser will have to “walk the plank” before plummeting into the ocean seemingly never to be seen again.
Whomever is the unlucky soul to walk the plank, the team of Pirate Paul Burchill and Jean Pierre Lafitte will make sure their word is honored.
Bruce Hart v. "Mega Man" Tom Magee
Following his triumphant banishment of evil forces last year, Bruce continues to enjoy a relaxing life performing various sneers in the mirror of his basement bathroom while wearing aviator sunglasses and his accompanying American Flag headband. It all changes when he is told of a long-lost infamous match involving wrestling prodigy Tom Magee and a member of his family. Furious that Magee's only claim to fame came at the expense of his family's name, Bruce demanded a match against the Mega Man himself. If it’s said a Hart can truly get the best out of Magee, well, they haven’t met Bruce!
The Shark v. Shark Boy (Shark Cage Match)
After having acquired a terrifyingly accurate Shark tattoo to mirror his successful gimmick, Shark Boy was attacked while taking in an all-you-can-eat buffet at his local seafood restaurant. His attacker? Why none other than THE SHARK himself, John Tenta. Covered in a mixture of tartar and cocktail sauce, Tenta screamed with anger as discarded fish flesh coated his target as he lay prone on the floor. Overhearing his nautical neighbours discussing this brawl, Turner reaches out to Shark Boy asking if he’d like his crack at revenge on the high seas. Locked inside the confines of a steel cage, we will truly find out who is the biggest fish in the sea!
Nick Gage (w/ Verne Gagne) v. Nick Aldis (NWA Championship)
Once again having cheated death on a lighttube-littered ring of Bloody Bowels IX on some backwater farm, Gage looked out in the crowd of onlookers to see a surprising face - wrestling legend Verne Gagne. Gagne, having just run a 40k marathon without breaking a sweat, approached Gage with an offer - ditch these dingy mud shows for a shot at immortality; a shot at greatness. Turn his catchphrase of MDK - Murder, Death, Kill - to MDK - Mindful Determination and Know-How! Nick Aldis, a guest of Verne’s at the show, overheard the discussion asking Verne what he was doing, “we’re here to laugh at these Neanderthals”. Gage takes offence and grabs the nearest barb-wire covered flaming lighttube before Gagne calms him down. Gage relents and tells Gagne he has a deal. After a relentless six week training camp inside an old Minnesota barn in the dead of winter, Gagne has forged Gage into not only a stamina machine, but a technical wrestling specialist and has accepted Turner’s offer to showcase a wrestling clinic on the high seas.
Bad News Brown v. Bad News Barrett
Outside of a mall where he is employed as a security guard, Bad News Brown is accosted by Bad News Barrett atop his maddeningly and dangerously large fifty foot podium; one that takes an astonishing 15 minutes to come to its full height. Banging his gavel atop with the ferocity of a rabid dog, Barrett announces that he has some BAD NEWS for Brown. Although Brown recently busted Barrett for attempting to shoplift black armbands from the sports shop on the second level, Barrett has applied for copyright of the Bad News name threatening to sue Brown if he uses the name at future conventions or merchandise sales. Should Brown wish to challenge Barrett for the name, Barrett requests that if he wins, his record be wiped clean and his picture immediately be taken down from the security office so he can once again come inside and purchase an Orange Julius.
Hiromu Takahashi v. Elix Skipper
Harkening back to the heyday of WCW Nitro, Turner wanted to book two of the wrestlers who could do that "crazy flippy stuff" he used to love watching. Skipper, the anchor of the much maligned faction "Sports Entertainment X-treme", accepted Turner's invite. Upon arrival, Skipper was disappointed to see his planned opponent Takahashi brought along his stuffed companion Daryl, believing Daryl is a blight on the grappling industry. It isn't long before Daryl goes missing and Skipper is unveiled as the culprit. Distraught, Takahashi pleads for his safe return. Skipper offers a solution: hang Daryl atop a pole in the corner of the ring. The first one to grab him is the winner, but if Skipper snags him first, he is free and clear to chuck the stuffed animal overboard, never to be seen again.
Meat (Shawn Stasiak) v. "The Meat Man" John Silver (special guest referee Lacy Evans)
Billed as the ultimate battle of the beef with wrestling's classiest lady agreeing to referee the bout, Silver and Stasiak were set to collide on the high seas. Unfortunately, before the match could even begin, Stasiak ran at Silver to launch an attack before the bell and with a slight dodge on the part of Silver, Stasiak ran into the ship's railing and fell overboard.
Jon Moxley v. Raven (Last Man Standing Match)
If Jon Moxley wins, he gets 10 minutes with Terrible Ted the Wrestling Bear
Looking for a superstar to anchor his card, Ted Turner reaches out to Moxley, one of today’s biggest draws. Although Mox is interested in the idea of wrestling on a card in international waters, he feels it isn’t quite dangerous enough. Looking to sweeten the deal, Turner offers up an ultra-violent and cerebral competitor in Raven as Jon’s adversary. Jon is leaning toward accepting the offer, but something is missing. Ted has an idea. Ted’s connections in the wrestling industry run deep and he promises Jon something he can’t refuse. Should he compete and SHOULD he be able to get past Raven, he can have 10 minutes with TERRIBLE TED the wrestling bear. Jon immediately packs his bag, determined to put on the greatest show imaginable.
FTR w/ Lance Storm v. Camp Cornette (Owen Hart and British Bulldog with Jim Cornette)
The show's main event and a bonefied dream match on any card in the world featuring one of the greatest technical wrestlers of all time in Owen Hart, alongside his powerhouse brother-in-law The British Bulldog taking on one of today's hottest tag teams in FTR.
Much like his brother Bruce, Owen is tired of all these modern day wrestlers leaching off of his family name. In fact, he went out and made his own name in the business. The same can be said for Davey Boy and alongside their longtime manager Jim Cornette, they've established themselves as a legendary team.
The top offenders of the Hart family theiverary are none other than Dax Harwood and Cash Wheeler, FTR. Owen became incensed after seeing their blatant rip off of his legendary Madison Square Garden match.
In the weeks leading up the match, Owen and Bulldog play a series of pranks on Dax and Cash. Owen releases thirty to fifty feral hogs on Dax's property. Bulldog signs Cash up for a lifetime subscription of Muscle and Fitness Magazine so he can see what real men look like. Owen and Bulldog repeatedly convince perennial jobber Ken Raper that he is constantly booked in six man tags across the country alongside Cash and Dax infuriating the duo who are too good to deny Raper a payday.
Owen cuts the breaks on Dax's car.
You know.. harmless pranks!
In retaliation, FTR showed up at Jim Cornette's home while he was recording an episode of his popular podcast and slammed his face into a cake much to the chagrin of co-host Brian Last.
In order to even up the odds and keep Cornette in check, FTR reached out to another legendary Calgary wrestler in Lance Storm to keep the match from
going off the rails.
Boating enthusiast and media visionary Ted Turner has once again thrown his proverbial captain's hat into the squared circle. Yearning to be free of any governmental oversight, Ted has targeted international waters as his card's location with a ring constructed atop one of his many multi-million dollar yachts. Although Ted had to be talked out of pirating his old television channel, TBS Superstation, by hooking up a 50 pound c-band dish on the starboard bow, he was assured there are far less troublesome ways to go about broadcasting his event.
If you're going to run a show in uncharted waters, you need the right kind of security to fend off any criminals who may wish to ruin the festivities. Although Ted was advised he could hire any elite squad of mercenaries out there, he explicitly said there was only one man for the job. A man who was tough enough to fend off the entire WWF locker room in 1994. A man who does not even sleep. He just waits.
That man is Chuck Norris.
And of course, how can Ted Turner present a wrasslin' card without the most overpaid man in ring announcing history, Michael Buffer.
Finally, Ted needed a big attraction. What do Americans love more than unregulated mayhem? Monster trucks! Ted hired former professional wrestler and former monster truck driver Madusa to bring her gigantic truck aboard for the fans to marvel at as it looked over the ring.
Iron Mike Sharpe vs. Barry Horowitz (Walk The Plank Match)
Special Enforcers: Jean Pierre Lafitte & "Pirate" Paul Burchill
Following last year’s astonishing double count out in which both men lost their wrestling licences with neither managing to pull out a win, the duo have negotiated another shot at greatness. Crafting quite possibly the most dangerous match imaginable with the highest stakes possible, the loser will have to “walk the plank” before plummeting into the ocean seemingly never to be seen again.
Whomever is the unlucky soul to walk the plank, the team of Pirate Paul Burchill and Jean Pierre Lafitte will make sure their word is honored.
Bruce Hart v. "Mega Man" Tom Magee
Following his triumphant banishment of evil forces last year, Bruce continues to enjoy a relaxing life performing various sneers in the mirror of his basement bathroom while wearing aviator sunglasses and his accompanying American Flag headband. It all changes when he is told of a long-lost infamous match involving wrestling prodigy Tom Magee and a member of his family. Furious that Magee's only claim to fame came at the expense of his family's name, Bruce demanded a match against the Mega Man himself. If it’s said a Hart can truly get the best out of Magee, well, they haven’t met Bruce!
The Shark v. Shark Boy (Shark Cage Match)
After having acquired a terrifyingly accurate Shark tattoo to mirror his successful gimmick, Shark Boy was attacked while taking in an all-you-can-eat buffet at his local seafood restaurant. His attacker? Why none other than THE SHARK himself, John Tenta. Covered in a mixture of tartar and cocktail sauce, Tenta screamed with anger as discarded fish flesh coated his target as he lay prone on the floor. Overhearing his nautical neighbours discussing this brawl, Turner reaches out to Shark Boy asking if he’d like his crack at revenge on the high seas. Locked inside the confines of a steel cage, we will truly find out who is the biggest fish in the sea!
Nick Gage (w/ Verne Gagne) v. Nick Aldis (NWA Championship)
Once again having cheated death on a lighttube-littered ring of Bloody Bowels IX on some backwater farm, Gage looked out in the crowd of onlookers to see a surprising face - wrestling legend Verne Gagne. Gagne, having just run a 40k marathon without breaking a sweat, approached Gage with an offer - ditch these dingy mud shows for a shot at immortality; a shot at greatness. Turn his catchphrase of MDK - Murder, Death, Kill - to MDK - Mindful Determination and Know-How! Nick Aldis, a guest of Verne’s at the show, overheard the discussion asking Verne what he was doing, “we’re here to laugh at these Neanderthals”. Gage takes offence and grabs the nearest barb-wire covered flaming lighttube before Gagne calms him down. Gage relents and tells Gagne he has a deal. After a relentless six week training camp inside an old Minnesota barn in the dead of winter, Gagne has forged Gage into not only a stamina machine, but a technical wrestling specialist and has accepted Turner’s offer to showcase a wrestling clinic on the high seas.
Bad News Brown v. Bad News Barrett
Outside of a mall where he is employed as a security guard, Bad News Brown is accosted by Bad News Barrett atop his maddeningly and dangerously large fifty foot podium; one that takes an astonishing 15 minutes to come to its full height. Banging his gavel atop with the ferocity of a rabid dog, Barrett announces that he has some BAD NEWS for Brown. Although Brown recently busted Barrett for attempting to shoplift black armbands from the sports shop on the second level, Barrett has applied for copyright of the Bad News name threatening to sue Brown if he uses the name at future conventions or merchandise sales. Should Brown wish to challenge Barrett for the name, Barrett requests that if he wins, his record be wiped clean and his picture immediately be taken down from the security office so he can once again come inside and purchase an Orange Julius.
Hiromu Takahashi v. Elix Skipper
Harkening back to the heyday of WCW Nitro, Turner wanted to book two of the wrestlers who could do that "crazy flippy stuff" he used to love watching. Skipper, the anchor of the much maligned faction "Sports Entertainment X-treme", accepted Turner's invite. Upon arrival, Skipper was disappointed to see his planned opponent Takahashi brought along his stuffed companion Daryl, believing Daryl is a blight on the grappling industry. It isn't long before Daryl goes missing and Skipper is unveiled as the culprit. Distraught, Takahashi pleads for his safe return. Skipper offers a solution: hang Daryl atop a pole in the corner of the ring. The first one to grab him is the winner, but if Skipper snags him first, he is free and clear to chuck the stuffed animal overboard, never to be seen again.
Meat (Shawn Stasiak) v. "The Meat Man" John Silver (special guest referee Lacy Evans)
Billed as the ultimate battle of the beef with wrestling's classiest lady agreeing to referee the bout, Silver and Stasiak were set to collide on the high seas. Unfortunately, before the match could even begin, Stasiak ran at Silver to launch an attack before the bell and with a slight dodge on the part of Silver, Stasiak ran into the ship's railing and fell overboard.
Jon Moxley v. Raven (Last Man Standing Match)
If Jon Moxley wins, he gets 10 minutes with Terrible Ted the Wrestling Bear
Looking for a superstar to anchor his card, Ted Turner reaches out to Moxley, one of today’s biggest draws. Although Mox is interested in the idea of wrestling on a card in international waters, he feels it isn’t quite dangerous enough. Looking to sweeten the deal, Turner offers up an ultra-violent and cerebral competitor in Raven as Jon’s adversary. Jon is leaning toward accepting the offer, but something is missing. Ted has an idea. Ted’s connections in the wrestling industry run deep and he promises Jon something he can’t refuse. Should he compete and SHOULD he be able to get past Raven, he can have 10 minutes with TERRIBLE TED the wrestling bear. Jon immediately packs his bag, determined to put on the greatest show imaginable.
FTR w/ Lance Storm v. Camp Cornette (Owen Hart and British Bulldog with Jim Cornette)
The show's main event and a bonefied dream match on any card in the world featuring one of the greatest technical wrestlers of all time in Owen Hart, alongside his powerhouse brother-in-law The British Bulldog taking on one of today's hottest tag teams in FTR.
Much like his brother Bruce, Owen is tired of all these modern day wrestlers leaching off of his family name. In fact, he went out and made his own name in the business. The same can be said for Davey Boy and alongside their longtime manager Jim Cornette, they've established themselves as a legendary team.
The top offenders of the Hart family theiverary are none other than Dax Harwood and Cash Wheeler, FTR. Owen became incensed after seeing their blatant rip off of his legendary Madison Square Garden match.
In the weeks leading up the match, Owen and Bulldog play a series of pranks on Dax and Cash. Owen releases thirty to fifty feral hogs on Dax's property. Bulldog signs Cash up for a lifetime subscription of Muscle and Fitness Magazine so he can see what real men look like. Owen and Bulldog repeatedly convince perennial jobber Ken Raper that he is constantly booked in six man tags across the country alongside Cash and Dax infuriating the duo who are too good to deny Raper a payday.
Owen cuts the breaks on Dax's car.
You know.. harmless pranks!
In retaliation, FTR showed up at Jim Cornette's home while he was recording an episode of his popular podcast and slammed his face into a cake much to the chagrin of co-host Brian Last.
In order to even up the odds and keep Cornette in check, FTR reached out to another legendary Calgary wrestler in Lance Storm to keep the match from
going off the rails.
-VS-
mcfclee:
he Federation presents Return to the Mania 2.
Show opens with the national anthem, pyro and signs galore.
We kick off the show with a number 1 contender match for the Cruiserweight Championship.
Christopher Daniels v Crash Holly.
The build to this match was centered around Christopher Daniels challenging the winner of Ultimo Dragon and Jerry Lynn only to be interrupted by Crash Holly. Daniels scoffed at Holly and accused him of being a comedy wrestler, only for Crash to snap and deliver a viscous beatdown. Holly then spent weeks dismantling jobbers with technical and high flying moves to prove himself. Now the big test, can he hang with a wrestling genius?
Test v Nailz.
Our 2nd contest adds variety to the card as we go to a no nonsense hoss battle. Nailz has run roughshod over the lower midcard, bullying smaller opponents. When he attempted to do so backstage and Test saw, he demanded Nailz pick on someone his own size. On the go home show Test made the save on another Nailz beatdown, only to walk into a brutal nightstick attack and comes into the bout with the classic injured ribs.
Submission match Zack Sabre Jnr v William Regal.
The battle of the Brits take place as ZSJ grew tired of Regal setting a bad example to the world of the UK. Regal claimed to be the greatest UK wrestler of all time and a submission master. ZSJ not one to back down has been hounding Regal for weeks for this match up. Regal ducked and dodged, before offering to accept on his terms. Duchess of Queensbury rules were first offered, but ZSJ getting under the skin of Regal challenged him to a submission match. Regal’s temper got the better of him and the match was booked. Now we see who can represent Great Britain at the grandest stage of them all.
Big Show v Hayabusa.
Big Show has been dominant and trying to force his way into title matches without much luck so far. When complaining about the lack of challengers for him our federation imported Hayabusa to give the Big Show a worthy challenge. Show is adamant once he gets through this challenge he wants the winner of our main event. Hayabusa has said he’ll put his body on the line to prove he belongs in the federation and become a main stay, challenging for titles and glory. This is expected to be a hard hitting affair, that bends the rules and takes both men to their limits.
Ultimo Dragon © v Jerry Lynn for the Cruiserweight Championship.
Our cruiserweight championship match is expected to be a technical masterclass with both competitors having a lot of respect for one another. The build up has seen them tag, shake hands, save one another from beat downs, but ultimately seen some tempers flair towards the end of the build. Explosions haven’t occurred yet, but both men come in respectful, yet determined to be the better man. We expect a match for the ages when these two lock up.
Miz v Ultimate Warrior.
Much like the Big Show, Miz felt overlooked as the card started to take shape. The Warrior has been getting vignettes to tease his arrival for months, but nobody knows why he’s back. A graphic on the titantron declaring his arrival for this date, while Miz was on the mic is as much as we know. The mystery will be solved on the night, but fireworks are expected.
Kendrick/London © v Demolition 2/3 falls for the Tag Team Chamionship.
Kendrick and London have been an exciting team defending for nearly a year, but Demolition have been picking up steam and are a force to be reckoned with. They’ve yet to pin down our champions in the build up, being given the run around anytime they try a sneak attack. They have remained confident as they’ve told Kendrick and London they have a secret weapon for the match. After Kendrick and London make their entrance (Champions first which annoys our tradition loving commentary team) Demolition’s music hits. Here comes the Ax. Here comes the Smasher. But wait…. Here comes Crush? That’s right Demolition have somehow had freebird rules inserted into the contract and now our underdog champions don’t know who they will face, on top of the risk of some good old fashion twin magic which somehow always fools our incompetent referees. This could be a show stealer now.
Razor Ramon © v Jay Lethal for the Intercontinental Championship.
Razor has been a dominant champion seeing off all comers. Jay Lethal has been challenging his Machismo to irk our champ. In his Macho finest attires, Jay has been tormenting and mocking Razor. Razor has repeatedly referenced the OG Macho and dismissed Lethal. The crowd have been torn as they love both competitors, but most don’t see how Lethal can overcome the sheer size and strength of the Bad Guy. We expect a David v Goliath contest, with two stars on the top of their game.
Main Event Kurt Angle © Undertaker for the World Heavyweight Championship.
This is the most anticipated match in Federation history. Kurt Angle has been a worthy champion, but has never faced a test like this. Undertaker has been out of the title picture in feuds with giants and freaks and has been reenergized after becoming the number one contender. Kurt has been turning up the violence and looks tougher than ever before. Undertaker is unfazed and thinks it’s finally his time. This promises to be a knock down, drag out affair that takes both men to their limit. The ultimate winner will be the fans in this one.
Show opens with the national anthem, pyro and signs galore.
We kick off the show with a number 1 contender match for the Cruiserweight Championship.
Christopher Daniels v Crash Holly.
The build to this match was centered around Christopher Daniels challenging the winner of Ultimo Dragon and Jerry Lynn only to be interrupted by Crash Holly. Daniels scoffed at Holly and accused him of being a comedy wrestler, only for Crash to snap and deliver a viscous beatdown. Holly then spent weeks dismantling jobbers with technical and high flying moves to prove himself. Now the big test, can he hang with a wrestling genius?
Test v Nailz.
Our 2nd contest adds variety to the card as we go to a no nonsense hoss battle. Nailz has run roughshod over the lower midcard, bullying smaller opponents. When he attempted to do so backstage and Test saw, he demanded Nailz pick on someone his own size. On the go home show Test made the save on another Nailz beatdown, only to walk into a brutal nightstick attack and comes into the bout with the classic injured ribs.
Submission match Zack Sabre Jnr v William Regal.
The battle of the Brits take place as ZSJ grew tired of Regal setting a bad example to the world of the UK. Regal claimed to be the greatest UK wrestler of all time and a submission master. ZSJ not one to back down has been hounding Regal for weeks for this match up. Regal ducked and dodged, before offering to accept on his terms. Duchess of Queensbury rules were first offered, but ZSJ getting under the skin of Regal challenged him to a submission match. Regal’s temper got the better of him and the match was booked. Now we see who can represent Great Britain at the grandest stage of them all.
Big Show v Hayabusa.
Big Show has been dominant and trying to force his way into title matches without much luck so far. When complaining about the lack of challengers for him our federation imported Hayabusa to give the Big Show a worthy challenge. Show is adamant once he gets through this challenge he wants the winner of our main event. Hayabusa has said he’ll put his body on the line to prove he belongs in the federation and become a main stay, challenging for titles and glory. This is expected to be a hard hitting affair, that bends the rules and takes both men to their limits.
Ultimo Dragon © v Jerry Lynn for the Cruiserweight Championship.
Our cruiserweight championship match is expected to be a technical masterclass with both competitors having a lot of respect for one another. The build up has seen them tag, shake hands, save one another from beat downs, but ultimately seen some tempers flair towards the end of the build. Explosions haven’t occurred yet, but both men come in respectful, yet determined to be the better man. We expect a match for the ages when these two lock up.
Miz v Ultimate Warrior.
Much like the Big Show, Miz felt overlooked as the card started to take shape. The Warrior has been getting vignettes to tease his arrival for months, but nobody knows why he’s back. A graphic on the titantron declaring his arrival for this date, while Miz was on the mic is as much as we know. The mystery will be solved on the night, but fireworks are expected.
Kendrick/London © v Demolition 2/3 falls for the Tag Team Chamionship.
Kendrick and London have been an exciting team defending for nearly a year, but Demolition have been picking up steam and are a force to be reckoned with. They’ve yet to pin down our champions in the build up, being given the run around anytime they try a sneak attack. They have remained confident as they’ve told Kendrick and London they have a secret weapon for the match. After Kendrick and London make their entrance (Champions first which annoys our tradition loving commentary team) Demolition’s music hits. Here comes the Ax. Here comes the Smasher. But wait…. Here comes Crush? That’s right Demolition have somehow had freebird rules inserted into the contract and now our underdog champions don’t know who they will face, on top of the risk of some good old fashion twin magic which somehow always fools our incompetent referees. This could be a show stealer now.
Razor Ramon © v Jay Lethal for the Intercontinental Championship.
Razor has been a dominant champion seeing off all comers. Jay Lethal has been challenging his Machismo to irk our champ. In his Macho finest attires, Jay has been tormenting and mocking Razor. Razor has repeatedly referenced the OG Macho and dismissed Lethal. The crowd have been torn as they love both competitors, but most don’t see how Lethal can overcome the sheer size and strength of the Bad Guy. We expect a David v Goliath contest, with two stars on the top of their game.
Main Event Kurt Angle © Undertaker for the World Heavyweight Championship.
This is the most anticipated match in Federation history. Kurt Angle has been a worthy champion, but has never faced a test like this. Undertaker has been out of the title picture in feuds with giants and freaks and has been reenergized after becoming the number one contender. Kurt has been turning up the violence and looks tougher than ever before. Undertaker is unfazed and thinks it’s finally his time. This promises to be a knock down, drag out affair that takes both men to their limit. The ultimate winner will be the fans in this one.
-VS-
Burkiemaniq:
BACKLASH 94
World Heavyweight Championship
Bret Hart vs Yokozuna w/ Mr Fuji vs Lex Luger
Coin toss? No thank you. This match is what should have been. Three top dogs with very different styles battling out at the same time to see who is the best.
Ironman Tag Team Match for the World Tag Team Titles
Nick Bockwinkle & Ray Stevens (c)
Vs
Kenta Kobashi & Jun Akiyama
Ray Stevens and Nick Bockwinkle are easily one of the best Tag Teams of their era. Their smarts, their in ring talent combined with a willingness to bend any rule necessary to get the win have put them where they are today, at the top of the food chain. But now they face a new challenge in Kenta Kobashi and Jun Akiyama. Bockwinkle has wrestled extensively in AJPW and took on the top stars of the time, but Kobashi and Akiyama are the next step in the evolution of the Kings Road style. Will brains out weigh brawn at the end of 60 minutes?
6 Person I Quit Tag Team Match
Chyna, Atushi Onita, Jerry Lawler
vs
Andy Kaufmann, Muhammad Ali, Zeus
Andy Kaufmann restarted his inter-gender wrestling challenge, this time with one of his Hollywood friends, Zeus, watching his back. After stringing together a multitude of wins his challenge is answered by someone who is more formidable than the average lady in the crowd, Chyna! And she brought backup of her own I Kaufmann's arch rival, Jerry The King Lawler. When Chyna had the win all but guaranteed Zeus entered the ring and caused a DQ. Lawler, using his scepter, evened the odds until another, far more famous Hollywood friend of Kaufmann's enters the ring...Muhammad Ali! He flattens the King with a series of lefts and rights. The Hollywood stars issue a challenge to Chyna, Lawler, and anyone dumb enough to be their partner to face them in a no rules 6 person I Quit Match. They are able to find that partner in a man who has a pension for fighting boxers and martial artists, who happens to have a love for no rules matches, Atsushi Onita!
The Road Warriors (*)
vs
Bam Bam Bigelow and Vader (*)
4 of the most unique and toughest men in the history of the business going hard to see who is the best.
Matt Riddle vs Masahiro Chono
Stiff strikes and submissions galore, Matt Riddle finds himself in a strong style showdown with one of the best to ever do it.
Marty Jannetty, Tito Santana, Hakushi, Koko B Ware, and Flash Funk
Vs
Juventud Guerrera, Psicosis, La Parka, Konnan and Super Calo
5 of the most skilled but under utilized WWF stars of the early to mid 90s take on 5 of the top luchadores from the mid to late 90s in a match filled with high risk moves and near falls.
Adam Bomb vs Masato Tanaka
Adam Bomb and Masato Tanaka put on a hard hitting powerbomb filled match, like that of a few famous ECW bouts Tanaka has had in the past.
Logan Paul is in the ring telling us to buy his new energy drink. As he runs down a laundry list of ingredients and health benefits found only in his bright colored beverages, the lights go out and smoke fills the ringside area. Papa Shango emerges and seems to try to preform some sort of spell. Out of fear, Paul throws a knockout punch and downs Shango. Paul takes the time to pose with his beverage before taking a drink. Suddenly Paul falls to his hands and knees clutching his stomach and begins to foam at the mouth before falling unconscious. Papa Shango gets back up, unphased and lets out an uncontrollable evil laugh as EMTs rush to the aid of Logan Paul. Pandemonium ensues as we cut to commercial break.
Big John Studd & Pete Christie
Vs
Beverly Brothers (*)
Pete Christie is most famous for being the nameless guy who was dropped on his head by the Beverly Brothers' Shaker Heights finishing maneuver. Well now he's back and ready for revenge, along with his newly enlisted tag team partner, Big John Studd. The Beverlys may have bitten off more than they can chew.
Kamala and Akeem
Vs
Otis and Rikishi
Otis and Rikishi began teaming after 'Kish witnessed Otis perform his version of the Worm. The rest is history. They take on the tandem of Akeem and Kamala, who met in the Jungles near the border of Deepest Darkest and Uganda.
Hillbilly Jim vs Jungle Boy vs The Cuban Assassin vs Chris Adams vs Giant Gonzalez vs Bastion Booger
The Show Opens with the Lord Alfred Hayes Six Pack Challenge. The winner gets to do guest commentary with Lord Alfred for the rest of the evening. Despite some of these men not being able to speak English, everyone will be giving it their all.
World Heavyweight Championship
Bret Hart vs Yokozuna w/ Mr Fuji vs Lex Luger
Coin toss? No thank you. This match is what should have been. Three top dogs with very different styles battling out at the same time to see who is the best.
Ironman Tag Team Match for the World Tag Team Titles
Nick Bockwinkle & Ray Stevens (c)
Vs
Kenta Kobashi & Jun Akiyama
Ray Stevens and Nick Bockwinkle are easily one of the best Tag Teams of their era. Their smarts, their in ring talent combined with a willingness to bend any rule necessary to get the win have put them where they are today, at the top of the food chain. But now they face a new challenge in Kenta Kobashi and Jun Akiyama. Bockwinkle has wrestled extensively in AJPW and took on the top stars of the time, but Kobashi and Akiyama are the next step in the evolution of the Kings Road style. Will brains out weigh brawn at the end of 60 minutes?
6 Person I Quit Tag Team Match
Chyna, Atushi Onita, Jerry Lawler
vs
Andy Kaufmann, Muhammad Ali, Zeus
Andy Kaufmann restarted his inter-gender wrestling challenge, this time with one of his Hollywood friends, Zeus, watching his back. After stringing together a multitude of wins his challenge is answered by someone who is more formidable than the average lady in the crowd, Chyna! And she brought backup of her own I Kaufmann's arch rival, Jerry The King Lawler. When Chyna had the win all but guaranteed Zeus entered the ring and caused a DQ. Lawler, using his scepter, evened the odds until another, far more famous Hollywood friend of Kaufmann's enters the ring...Muhammad Ali! He flattens the King with a series of lefts and rights. The Hollywood stars issue a challenge to Chyna, Lawler, and anyone dumb enough to be their partner to face them in a no rules 6 person I Quit Match. They are able to find that partner in a man who has a pension for fighting boxers and martial artists, who happens to have a love for no rules matches, Atsushi Onita!
The Road Warriors (*)
vs
Bam Bam Bigelow and Vader (*)
4 of the most unique and toughest men in the history of the business going hard to see who is the best.
Matt Riddle vs Masahiro Chono
Stiff strikes and submissions galore, Matt Riddle finds himself in a strong style showdown with one of the best to ever do it.
Marty Jannetty, Tito Santana, Hakushi, Koko B Ware, and Flash Funk
Vs
Juventud Guerrera, Psicosis, La Parka, Konnan and Super Calo
5 of the most skilled but under utilized WWF stars of the early to mid 90s take on 5 of the top luchadores from the mid to late 90s in a match filled with high risk moves and near falls.
Adam Bomb vs Masato Tanaka
Adam Bomb and Masato Tanaka put on a hard hitting powerbomb filled match, like that of a few famous ECW bouts Tanaka has had in the past.
Logan Paul is in the ring telling us to buy his new energy drink. As he runs down a laundry list of ingredients and health benefits found only in his bright colored beverages, the lights go out and smoke fills the ringside area. Papa Shango emerges and seems to try to preform some sort of spell. Out of fear, Paul throws a knockout punch and downs Shango. Paul takes the time to pose with his beverage before taking a drink. Suddenly Paul falls to his hands and knees clutching his stomach and begins to foam at the mouth before falling unconscious. Papa Shango gets back up, unphased and lets out an uncontrollable evil laugh as EMTs rush to the aid of Logan Paul. Pandemonium ensues as we cut to commercial break.
Big John Studd & Pete Christie
Vs
Beverly Brothers (*)
Pete Christie is most famous for being the nameless guy who was dropped on his head by the Beverly Brothers' Shaker Heights finishing maneuver. Well now he's back and ready for revenge, along with his newly enlisted tag team partner, Big John Studd. The Beverlys may have bitten off more than they can chew.
Kamala and Akeem
Vs
Otis and Rikishi
Otis and Rikishi began teaming after 'Kish witnessed Otis perform his version of the Worm. The rest is history. They take on the tandem of Akeem and Kamala, who met in the Jungles near the border of Deepest Darkest and Uganda.
Hillbilly Jim vs Jungle Boy vs The Cuban Assassin vs Chris Adams vs Giant Gonzalez vs Bastion Booger
The Show Opens with the Lord Alfred Hayes Six Pack Challenge. The winner gets to do guest commentary with Lord Alfred for the rest of the evening. Despite some of these men not being able to speak English, everyone will be giving it their all.
