Former Oiler Patrick O'Sullivan Details Child Abuse history
- Thread starter Master Lok
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PBandJ
If it didn't happen in the 80's, it didn't happen
KarmaPolice
Snack enthusiast
That was during the time when our players were expected to play with terrible injuries: dislocated shoulders, broken bones, etc., and if they didn't they were deemed wusses. Pretty sure Lowe was the GM at that time. Sounds about right knowing what I know about Lowe. We all know how unprofessional Lowe was, even from just the episode with Comrie. Yes, some players (Comrie included) made some mistakes, but that wasn't the proper way to deal with it.
I could be off base, but that's my recollection.
Stainsy
Time to improve
That, was a terrible example of what many children go through, although not all if it is as physical. Mental abuse can be just as devastating. I, myself went through enough in my adoptive family, I went to the children's aid, voluntarily, and asked to be taken into care, at 13. Not a great moment in my life, but a necessary one, at the time. I know how he feels, to a point. I never had the **** beat out of me, they didn't care enough to. As long as I would go away, they were satisfied. Opposite ends, of the same spectrum. Best of luck Patrick. I find my solace in making sure my kids never go through what I had to.
rboomercat90
Registered User
Iirc, he was berated a lot during the year that Pat Quinn was coaching. That seemed to be when it all fell apart for him here. He was considered a bright spot on the team heading into that season. That was also the season Souray ripped into management for the way they were treating injured players. Quinn even offering to drive him to the airport to get rid of him. Brule had his issues around that time too, if I'm not mistaken. Clearly Tambelini and Quinn were the wrong people in charge to help those types of players out.
guymez
The Seldom Seen Kid
- Mar 3, 2004
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There is a major difference between talking to your kids about things they can do to be a better player (which often times is more fun for them) and negative/abusive behavior.
My son asks me all the time how his game was. I can either blow smoke up his backside and tell him he was wonderful (even though no one will pass him the puck) or I can outline the things he does well and give him tips on little things he can do to be more engaged in the play and feel more like part of the team.
No need to go to extremes here.
It is possible to be supportive and honest at the same time without engaging in damaging comments and behaviors.
Quality Oil
Help
Absolutely agree with the bolded.
I think the problem is that parents seem to think that there is a certain formula AT ALL. Talent can be guided in the right direction but the child/young adult have to want it for themselves as well. Player growth has to come organically with proper mental and physical fundamentals.
My take on it: The O'Sullivan case is sad because it simply took one person (albeit very close) to poison what Patrick was (and is) world-class at. I hope he can find peace playing hockey for leisure at some point in his life, at the very least he deserves to enjoy the skills he worked so hard to develop.
Do whatever you want man...I was only outlining what was said by div. 1 NCAA athletes regarding their parents involvement in sports. Pretty likely they were mostly successful in youth sports anyways. I'm not saying I won't ever talk to my kids about their sports, but I certainly won't be telling them they played poorly in the ol' SUV on the way home.
No where did I ever say I would be blowing smoke up his/her backside as that can be damaging as well...it was merely an observaion made about 1000's of successful athletes....avoiding criticism and "I love watching you play" were the universal takeaways.
So if I am reading this correctly...."supportive and honest without engaging in damaging behaviors"....sounds an awful lot like avoiding criticism to me!
Sounds like some great parenting to me...well played sir...well played!
Not that I want to tell any parent HOW to parent their children. But asian cultures tend to frame all feedback in the context of 'hard work'.
Instead of saying "You are Good at this, or You are bad at this", asians are taught:
"You must have worked very hard to get this good"
"you must have studied hard to get that good grade test"
"You missed because didn't practice your shooting enough".
This kinda covers it nicely:
Fear and intimidation are horrible motivational tools.
Instead of saying "You are Good at this, or You are bad at this", asians are taught:
"You must have worked very hard to get this good"
"you must have studied hard to get that good grade test"
"You missed because didn't practice your shooting enough".
This kinda covers it nicely:
Fear and intimidation are horrible motivational tools.
joestevens29
Registered User
- Apr 30, 2009
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After the comment about how his dad felt validated the day he was drafted I wonder if somewhere inside of him he just didn't want to be successful at the NHL level. The guy had clear talents and was able to dominate the AHL and did put up some good NHL numbers at times, but the effort at the NHL level wasn't there.
O'Sullivan mentioned that it wasn't his dad who made him into an NHL player through the "toughening up" regime but it was his love for the game. I wonder if O'Sullivan spent more time away from home playing hockey, in order to get away from home and his dad. I'm not sure I can say that O'Sullivan's dad had zero effect on O'Sullivan reaching the NHL level, but perhaps his dad's treatment of him drove him to discover hockey as a refuge from home life.
alexo
Registered User
O'Sullivan actually stated in the Players Tribune write-up that one reason he liked playing hockey was because his father couldn't get him while he was on the ice (or something along those lines).
As to the main topic, this is why I tend not to more publicly air harsh negativity about players. Criticism is fine, but being personal with a player isn't. So big forums like this, at games, social media or in public events - anywhere where a player may hear what I have to say - I avoid talking overly negative about them. You never know what kind of demons they may be hiding that be causing them some form of deep depression (which can result in poor on ice play). It's one thing to say so and so is playing poorly, and another to take it too far, such as when people would see Penner out getting lunch and say comments like "are you sure you should be eating that?".
joestevens29
Registered User
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I bought a Patrick O'Sullivan autograph card from the garage sale for 2 bucks. might be the best purchase of the summer
Once again the iidiot Tambellini gets a free ride. Tambellini was GM but he always gets a free ride.
It was idiot Tambellini. When Souray complained, Tambellini said they have trainers for a reason and Tambellini was never in contact with players injured. Tambellini was a wuss. MacT on the other hand as much as he's hated on here was in contact with injured players.
Take a look at LL. When he was GM in New Jersey, he wouldn't allowed injured players to be in contact with the healthy players. He wouldn't allow the injured players to be in contact with players healthy until they became healthy. LL basically said that injured players weren't part of the team because they were injured.
Supermassive
HISS, HISS
No, he doesn't. In fact, the evidence against him has been mounting up with nearly every ex-Oiler that gives an interview.
Heck, despite knowing several first-hand accounts of the Souray-Tambellini feud that sided with Tambellini, I think a couple posters here changed my mind completely over several months. Harpoon, I think? Not sure I ever gave proper credit.
The whole 2006-07 to 2014-15 era should be immortalized in the new arena by a commode that backs up and spews sewage every time it is flushed.
Senor Catface
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OneMoreAstronaut
Reduce chainsaw size
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Boy that was a heavy read. I'm glad for him that he had a bit of an NHL career, even if most fans would think he was a failure - that will give him some financial security and help him live a better life than the one someone else forced him to live.
joestevens29
Registered User
- Apr 30, 2009
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No one gets a free ride. Everyone that worked for the Oilers gets blasted all the time, whether they deserve it or not
Man the fact that O'Sullivan built up enough courage to ask this organization for help and we didn't give him what he needed... that's really actually quite upsetting. That the team I grew up cheering for and loving would be so disregarding of something so important as a players mental health when in crisis.
That whole article is damning of the NHL. Thank god he was able to get the help he needed on his own.
http://www.sportsnet.ca/hockey/nhl/former-nhler-patrick-osullivan-opens-up-about-abuse/
This article is largely more of the same as the tribune article, although at the bottom it does touch on his current life.
I think when you hear a story like Patrick O'Sullivan's it hopefully gives all of us some perspective on the reality that these players playing for our team are all people, and their struggles and problems off the ice which might be effecting them on the ice, are just as real and legitimate as anyone elses. The fact that they're making millions of dollars doesn't prevent them from have stresses, anxieties or illnesses (physical or mental).
I mean.... think how many times O'Sullivan was called POS around here in his final season as an Oiler. How relentless he was torn apart by the fanbase in Edmonton. You hear his story and it makes you think twice about being so ruthless on these players now when they're not playing well. We don't know what's going on in these players lives. We don't know why they're struggling. And of course it's not all as extreme a situation as Patrick O'Sullivan, but we don't know the realities of any of these players.
Anyways...
Bless O'Sullivan for speaking about this, and I hope he's able to continue to work on his recovery and is happy and healthy in his life. Likewise for any of you who might be struggling with mental illness. I deal with my own on a daily basis. It's hard. Good luck and best wishes to all of you.
Tw0Shoes
Registered User
- Mar 15, 2007
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Brule loved Pat Quinn. You are mistaken and really shouldn't speak about people like that when you don't know the truth. The year Pat was the coach was Gilbert's best year in the league.
Paperbagofglory
Registered User
- Nov 15, 2010
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If you have children just to live vicariously through them, then you are a *******. It does not matter if you love them or nurture them. If you pressure them to succeed based on your own insecurities and failures, you are a *******.
They are not there to provide you with money and a future lavish lifestyle. Raise them to be better people than you. Each generation should be an upgrade from the last, but thanks to mouth breathers like the dad in this story, we suffer as a people and have to endure heartache and abuse.
Your broke ass should not be cashing in on your child's success, and i hope you jump headfirst into traffic, thanks!
Signed
Fan club for wishing terrible things to happen to psycho hockey parents and other underachieving failures.
Maybe i should shorten that fan clubs name?
They are not there to provide you with money and a future lavish lifestyle. Raise them to be better people than you. Each generation should be an upgrade from the last, but thanks to mouth breathers like the dad in this story, we suffer as a people and have to endure heartache and abuse.
Your broke ass should not be cashing in on your child's success, and i hope you jump headfirst into traffic, thanks!
Signed
Fan club for wishing terrible things to happen to psycho hockey parents and other underachieving failures.
Maybe i should shorten that fan clubs name?
rboomercat90
Registered User
I wasn't speaking about Brule's relationship with Quinn. I mentioned Brule because he had issues around that time, albeit maybe not while Quinn was coaching, that resulted in the Oilers dumping him in a contraversial trade.
The point of my post was that Quinn was coaching O'Sullivan and spent much of the year berating him publicly. Tambellini had his feud with Souray that season as well. It was asked who was likely in charge when O'Sullivan asked for help and was ignored. The timeline suggests it was probably these two and the evidence suggests these guys probably didn't have their players best interests at heart.
