OT: ESPN's Sports Misery Index - Vancouver #5

Just A Bit Outside

Playoffs??!
Mar 6, 2010
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With Cleveland winning the NBA title, ESPN has updated their Sports Misery Index.

Coming in at #5, Vancouver:

5. Vancouver (49 points)

Last title: never

This is a controversial selection because we're limiting Vancouver to the Canucks and its brief run with the Grizzlies. Vancouver doesn't have an NFL team, but the BC Lions play in the Canadian Football League and have won six Grey Cups, most recently in 2011. I suspect that Vancouver might not be quite as frustrated as its numbers suggest because of that, but by the rules of the Misery Index, Vancouver fans are still waiting for their first title in American professional sports. The Canucks are 0-for-45 since entering the NHL in 1971, and the Grizzlies failed to even make the playoffs during their six seasons of existence before moving to Memphis. The curse of Steve Francis?

http://espn.go.com/espn/story/_/id/...es-crown-most-tortured-fans-san-diego-buffalo
 

mrmyheadhurts

Registered Boozer
Mar 22, 2007
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I think the fact that we've lost three Cup Finals, with two of them being game 7s, should really push us closer to the top. That's some pretty cruel and unusual punishment.
 

NYVanfan

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Mar 27, 2002
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I think the fact that we've lost three Cup Finals, with two of them being game 7s, should really push us closer to the top. That's some pretty cruel and unusual punishment.

Tell that to Buffalo


as my wife is from upstate NY ... my family dominates this rank!
kids are turning into Rangers fans ..which i can tolerate, as I am now officially over '94. '11 will take at least another couple decades, esp with flaming douchenozzles like this on the loose.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhEqsNYLaSM
 

Eco

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Oct 7, 2013
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I don't get Vancouver being this high. Atlanta is surely worse, as we have more Pro teams, and one title....1.....and the Braves won 14 CONSECUTIVE DIVISION TITLES.
 

vadim sharifijanov

Registered User
Oct 10, 2007
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3 cup finals, 0 Stanley cups, 2 riots

Yeah... ranking us 5th is being generous

it's not just the 0-3 record and the two riots. it's game 7, then messier + keenan. it's 2-0, then oh dear lord, then benning and perhaps soon the headline "milan lucic gets into 4th granville strip fight of the november, hires shane o'brien as wingman/bodyguard."


i mean, it's like if michael jordan later bought the cavs, hired himself as GM, then drafted darko instead of lebron.
 

vadim sharifijanov

Registered User
Oct 10, 2007
28,807
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forgive the long selfie-post but

i mean, that's curse-level stuff right there. prospectus for an ibsen play, or a boston-themed martin scorsese movie:

- canucks trade young but slow-to-develop BC born power forward (#1) along with a high draft pick a year in the future (note: the team finished 4th worst in the league that season)

- canucks finish 3rd worst, other team drafts stalwart western league defenseman; but--- local BC-born future superstar center who was way better than pederson was on the table, albeit as a reach at #3 (who am i kidding? we would have taken western league defenseman/bust dean chynoweth with that pick)

[intermezzo: June 6, 1986 - trade in question; June 8, 2005 - young slow-to-develop power forward #1 inducted to hockey hall of fame; June 5, 2008 - stalwart western league defenseman announces retirement]

- 25 year later, canucks make the stanley cup finals. young slow-to-develop power forward #1 is now a reputedly influential front office guy on the other team after a HHOF career. his team has two young, developed power forwards who each resulted from the original trade (wesley --> samsonov pick --> lucic pick; wesley --> mclaren pick --> jeff jilsson --> brad boyes --> dennis wideman --> horton). his assistant GM is former canucks defenseman (#1) from the sucky pederson era.

- game 1 of the finals, best canucks defensemen gets injured delivering a hip check to other team's young, developed power forward #1 early in the second period, gets injured, out for the season



- game 3 of the finals, early in the first period, score tied 0-0, canucks up 2-0 in the series but down their best defensemen, with their next three biggest minute-eating d-men also nursing injuries (ehrhoff - shoulder; bieksa - MCL; edler - rumoured broken fingers; but sami salo----- surprisingly healthy), fill-in defenseman delivers hit on other team's young, developed power forward #2. ejected from the game, canucks implode defensively, other team's physical game woken up, lose 8-1.



- next day, former canucks defenseman #2 rules in favor of his son's team, suspends canucks fill-in defensemen for the year; canucks d pairs remain in disarray, lose three of the next four games.

[intermezzo: other team's fourth line agitator returns to lineup in victorious game 3 after many healthy scratches; after game 5 victory, in which other team's fourth line agitator played only four minutes, fourth line agitator averages an unprecedented >10'30" in lopsided game 6 and 7 victories, cited as a difference-maker in the series.

@2:50]


- organizational meltdown ensues; best core in team history gets dismantled over next three seasons; canucks brass, haunted by humiliating physical battles lost to other team, blame the loss on lack of toughness.

- three years later, former canucks defenseman #1, now canucks GM, overpays with a 3rd round pick for a fourth line agitator (#1).

- nine months later, former canucks defenseman #1 unfathomably re-signs fourth line agitator #1 for four years at $2.65 million per. justifies deal by praising agitator's mentorship of his young but slow-to-develop power forward (#2).

- two months later, former canucks defenseman #1 gives away young but slow-to-develop power forward #2, with a 5th round pick, for fourth line agitator #2 ($2.5 million cap hit); justifies the trade by saying fourth line agitator #2 will mentor the young kids. fourth line agitator #1 (and his $2.65 million cap hit) still at large.

















EDIT:

- five years later, financial audit reveals that former canucks defenseman #1 was a spy all along.
 

Huggy

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Jul 22, 2014
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it's not just the 0-3 record and the two riots. it's game 7, then messier + keenan. it's 2-0, then oh dear lord, then benning and perhaps soon the headline "milan lucic gets into 4th granville strip fight of the november, hires shane o'brien as wingman/bodyguard."


i mean, it's like if michael jordan later bought the cavs, hired himself as GM, then drafted darko instead of lebron.

yes jim bennig signing lucic is close to losing game 7.

unreal.
 

m9

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Jan 23, 2010
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I like how they mention the Lions winning 6 Grey Cups in there. 1st, who cares? 2nd, in such a small league 6 championships over that time is a below average number.
 

WinterEmpire

Unregistered User
Mar 20, 2011
5,997
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Vancouver
Vancouver has won a stanley cup......

ESPN specifically mentioned limiting this ranking to the Grizz+Canucks

Also I don't think winning the cup almost 100 years ago would have really helped the score, Minnesota is ahead on the rankings and they've won titles in the 90s.
 

Pavel96

Registered User
Apr 7, 2015
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I think the fact that we've lost three Cup Finals, with two of them being game 7s, should really push us closer to the top. That's some pretty cruel and unusual punishment.

It was an ESPN article so Hockey doesn't count for as much. The top 4 cities had all at least won a championship since the 60's, we have never.

I think losing two game 7's, having our NBA team jacked, and not ever having MLB make a case for moving up.
 

thenextone

Registered User
Mar 19, 2005
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New York City
Vancouver has to go up higher on the list. The only saving grace is that Vancouver is a great city to live in - but as a sports town its absolutely miserable.

EDIT: and just looking back at how the Grizz leaving transpired just angers me. I was never a fan but the NBA really just looted us for an expansion fee and had no intention of making it work here. Sad given the popularity of basketball in Canada now, the Grizzlies would actually stand a shot at becoming a big event like the Raptors have become.
 

IslesGM

Registered User
Jan 4, 2011
134
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I don't get Vancouver being this high. Atlanta is surely worse, as we have more Pro teams, and one title....1.....and the Braves won 14 CONSECUTIVE DIVISION TITLES.

not consecutive. 1994 strike year they were 6 games back of the Expos.
 

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