Dear Team Tank,
I'd just like to formally register my position that Tank Version 2014 has successfully accomplished its target. We are 8 points back of 29th with 25 games to play and the near surety of losing 2-3 of our best players within the next 3 games. We have two games in hand, but we also play a harder and more condensed schedule. Edmonton just bought a pretty darned good goalie, too, who has them playing .500 hockey.
At the risk of effecting bravado, I'm comfortable putting away any bad juju dolls, wiccan potions, or animal sacrifices that have been instrumental in leading us to this position of "strength."
A cataclysmic injury for Edmonton or an unbelievable John Scott hot streak could all change this, of course, so I won't strictly speaking be destroying my pagan tokens (after all, we'll need them for Eichel), but as of today, I formally tender my resignation from Team Tank for the remainder of the 2014 season.
God bless. It's been an honor.