I sat and re-read it.
A couple nit-picky things to start... it's cool to use advanced stats, I suppose. I hate when writers drop them in win no context. It gets really easy for the writer to just say "his PDO was this" as some kind of point. That isn't my complaint with him this time though. He actually did pretty well on this point.
My problem was that he alternates between calling them iCF or individual Corsi for, alternates the per sixty metrics between /60 and it written out as per sixty.
Now onto the meat of the article. He starts out by saying they are in jeopardy and whatever. He talks about the mid-late first round draft picks being good enough to keep them competitive and then.... nothing. He goes onto talking about Larkin. Not anything like "but has not allowed them to obtain the elite players a team needs to be successful" or "but has led to a general decline of roster talent". Say something, anything in the opener to link mid-late firsts and a dearth of elite talent.
Then, the start of his Larkin section, he starts talking about how Larkin, AA, and Mantha are the silver lining of the 16-17 season. This year, Larkin is anything but that. He's been pretty bad and isn't really adjusting to the book being out on him yet. And he ends a "puff piece" about Larkin by saying that bad attitude and low morale are contagious and Larkin has had to deal with them. That's not exactly strong praise.
AA stuff always worries me because it's always rate stats with him. It's "dude if we played him 20 minutes instead of 10, he'd totally score double the points. This isn't especially bad, but I'm not a fan of "imagine what he could do if he had actual lnemates. I counter with.... imagine how he'd do if he were pulling the hardest defensive assignments too." I don't think his p/60 would follow at that point.
The Mantha section isn't bad. I don't have an issue with it... outside of my abhorrence with taking the Jimmy D and Ken Holland "spare parts" quote as literally as so many people have. They took him in the first round and he's playing with Henrik Zetterberg on the top line as a rookie. They clearly like him and think he's a damn good hockey player. It always struck me as either reverse psychology to prod Mantha into working harder or in Jimmy Ds case catching an old dude shooting from the hip whatever comes to his mind.
I agree, the cap space section at the end feels tacked on. If you want to include it, tie it back to Mantha, AA, and Larkin and their RFA deals and how it will be important to lock them up. You're talking about the future of the core... you shouldn't be talking about trying to clear money in the here and now. It could easily be removed and maintain the point... but if you want to have it in there, relate it to the silver lining.
And lastly, there is the inconsistency between Larkin's section where bad attitude and low morale are contagious and the summary close where the hard work that they put in and the morale boost from having three talented youngsters.