Complaining about refs...

[Yukon Joe]

OK, so I'm going to start with some throat-clearing - I think I am the last one to complain about the refs. Make a call, don't make a call, call icing or don't call icing - whatever. It's a tough job, they're not making much money, I'm sure they really don't care who wins or loses your average rec or minor hockey game. I work in the justice system so I have a lot of sympathy.

I also know that given the rant I'm going to go on many of you might think the above is bullshit.

But at my middle kid's (U11) hockey game last week was the worst reffing I've ever seen (I'm one of the assistant coaches).

It all went down in the second period. One of our kids goes into the boards, doesn't get up. No whistle. We start screaming for a whistle from the bench. Kid is down for 30 seconds, eventually gets himself to his feet and comes to the bench. We hustle a new kid out there and now comes the whistle - too many men.

All the coaches start losing it. Ref says "well I asked the kid and he seemed fine". We keep an asthma inhaler for this kid on the bench - he couldn't even talk when the ref asked him. And in any event these are kids - you don't rely on a kid to say they're fine or not. But the ref won't hear it - now it's a bench minor, 5 on 3 for two minutes.

Kid never returned to the game, by the way. His nose started bleeding all over the place, his mom came and got him, he was all freaked out. He's only 10.

Anyways during the 5 on 3, kid from the other team goes down. Again no whistle. We start screaming again. Ref gives us another bench minor - putting 3 kids in the box.

Early third period, there's a hit in the corner, one of our kids is down. I think they should have called the hit, but I'll let that go. But again they're really slow on the whistle as the kid doesn't get up. The kid's dad (also an assistant) is jumping on the ice same time / second before the whistle finally goes, he's screaming at the ref. After he helps his kid up he's ejected, yet another bench minor.

FFS - like I said off the top I don't care about calling the plays on the ice one way or another. But when it comes to the safety of kids on the ice that has to be your priority. Or just know that when coaches (who are also parents) are coming from a place about kids safety don't just keep handing out bench minors. We had a light bench to begin with but at one point between the kid who was injured, and 3 in the box we were trying to juggle lines with 6 skaters.


Or tell me I'm wrong. I'm a grown-up and I can take it.

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[tarheelhockey]

OK, so I'm going to start with some throat-clearing - I think I am the last one to complain about the refs. Make a call, don't make a call, call icing or don't call icing - whatever. It's a tough job, they're not making much money, I'm sure they really don't care who wins or loses your average rec or minor hockey game. I work in the justice system so I have a lot of sympathy.

I also know that given the rant I'm going to go on many of you might think the above is bullshit.

But at my middle kid's (U11) hockey game last week was the worst reffing I've ever seen (I'm one of the assistant coaches).

It all went down in the second period. One of our kids goes into the boards, doesn't get up. No whistle. We start screaming for a whistle from the bench. Kid is down for 30 seconds, eventually gets himself to his feet and comes to the bench. We hustle a new kid out there and now comes the whistle - too many men.

All the coaches start losing it. Ref says "well I asked the kid and he seemed fine". We keep an asthma inhaler for this kid on the bench - he couldn't even talk when the ref asked him. And in any event these are kids - you don't rely on a kid to say they're fine or not. But the ref won't hear it - now it's a bench minor, 5 on 3 for two minutes.

Kid never returned to the game, by the way. His nose started bleeding all over the place, his mom came and got him, he was all freaked out. He's only 10.

Anyways during the 5 on 3, kid from the other team goes down. Again no whistle. We start screaming again. Ref gives us another bench minor - putting 3 kids in the box.

Early third period, there's a hit in the corner, one of our kids is down. I think they should have called the hit, but I'll let that go. But again they're really slow on the whistle as the kid doesn't get up. The kid's dad (also an assistant) is jumping on the ice same time / second before the whistle finally goes, he's screaming at the ref. After he helps his kid up he's ejected, yet another bench minor.

FFS - like I said off the top I don't care about calling the plays on the ice one way or another. But when it comes to the safety of kids on the ice that has to be your priority. Or just know that when coaches (who are also parents) are coming from a place about kids safety don't just keep handing out bench minors. We had a light bench to begin with but at one point between the kid who was injured, and 3 in the box we were trying to juggle lines with 6 skaters.


Or tell me I'm wrong. I'm a grown-up and I can take it.

There are separate two issues here, one being safety and the other being "stacking" of unsportsmanlike conduct minors.

Personally I think that any youth league, and for that matter any lower-end adult league, should have a hair trigger for whistles when a player is down and staying down. That said, the typical standard is that his team needs to get the puck back first, or at least that the puck is in a very non-threatening place outside the offensive zone. Did that happen in this situation? If not, the ref is in a tough spot to potentially hear it from the other bench if he blows it dead too early. Context is everything here.

The stacking-up of unsportsmanlike conduct penalties is something that really gets under my skin, though. That's something that as a referee, you're just raising the temperature rather than defusing the situation. If you want to give someone 10, if you want to toss them out, fine. But don't **** over an entire team with a full 2 minute 5-on-3, a likely outcome-altering penalty, because you don't like the tone someone took when they were upset with another call you've already made against them. I've had that exact situation happen late in a tied playoff game, which is absolutely the wrong time for a referee to be sending messages about who's in charge. There are ways to handle someone who's demonstratively upset in that moment, but screwing him and his entire team with stacked-up penalties ain't it.

 

[Slats432]

If any of your commentary is "Screaming at the ref" that could be the biggest issue here. "Most" kids who fall at that age are looking for attention, not hurt.

Your staff sounds like they acted like idiots and yelling at officials probably caused everything that happened after the first incident. Not being there doesn't give me a lot of clarity on the errors the refs made, but FOR f*** SAKES STOP YELLING AT THE REFS, or there will be no refs. You can lace them up and do it yourselves.

 

[Slats432]

Effectively Communicating With Referees – coachmattdennis.com

coachmattdennis.com

6 Tips For Treating Referees​

1. Treat them with respect. Our players see the way we treat the referees and we should teach them to respect others and learn to communicate without yelling uncontrollably. Referees are humans and they like to be treated with respect. Talk to them. Ask questions in a non-aggressive tone.
   
   Not to mention, it's very important to teach today's young people how to respect authority. It also teaches players not to blame others and to be held accountable.
   
   
2. Create a dialogue and learn their names. Referees will respect you and like the fact that you're talking to them like they are a human being. It's also a good idea to learn their first names, so you can effectively address them during the games. The chances of them responding or listening increase if they hear their name.
   
   
3. Chat with them in the pregame. One thing I always like to do is talk to the referees in the pregame warm-ups. I might even give them a heads up that I like to ask questions on calls, so I can teach my players and I would appreciate it if they took a few seconds to explain the calls to me when I ask them about a call. Morgan Wootten also says this is a great time to get a point across about the rules of the game.
   
   
4. Apply the golden rule. If you treat the referees like you would want to be treated, you'll develop a quality relationship with them. Most often, this will lead to more calls in your favor.
   
   
5. Question their call in an assertive, but non-aggressive manner. If you question a call in a reasonable tone, the refs will be more likely to listen to criticism. If you're yelling and screaming the whole time, they'll probably tune you out.
   
   
6. Create a great environment for them at your home games. When you host a game, you should greet them and make them feel as comfortable as possible. It's important to make sure beverages and food are provided to the refs as well. This great treatment can go a long ways. It's also beneficial for you and your administration to make sure that your fans create a great atmosphere, but in a positive manner. No heckling and berating the referees.

The appropriate behaviour is for the head coach to tell all the other coaches to be quiet. At the next whistle bring over the referee for clarification on what happened, what the expectation is, and how they would like to be addressed if the coaches felt there was a safety issue. All your bench minors were about your bad behaviour. I coached from Novice to U18AA and have never been ejected or given a minor for how I treated an official.

 

[Slats432]

Why is there a ref shortage?....this thread will point you to the answer.

 

[Yukon Joe]

There are separate two issues here, one being safety and the other being "stacking" of unsportsmanlike conduct minors.

Personally I think that any youth league, and for that matter any lower-end adult league, should have a hair trigger for whistles when a player is down and staying down. That said, the typical standard is that his team needs to get the puck back first, or at least that the puck is in a very non-threatening place outside the offensive zone. Did that happen in this situation? If not, the ref is in a tough spot to potentially hear it from the other bench if he blows it dead too early. Context is everything here.

The stacking-up of unsportsmanlike conduct penalties is something that really gets under my skin, though. That's something that as a referee, you're just raising the temperature rather than defusing the situation. If you want to give someone 10, if you want to toss them out, fine. But don't **** over an entire team with a full 2 minute 5-on-3, a likely outcome-altering penalty, because you don't like the tone someone took when they were upset with another call you've already made against them. I've had that exact situation happen late in a tied playoff game, which is absolutely the wrong time for a referee to be sending messages about who's in charge. There are ways to handle someone who's demonstratively upset in that moment, but screwing him and his entire team with stacked-up penalties ain't it.

So I'm going to agree and disagree.

First when it comes to a kid lying on the ice, absolutely there should be a hair trigger for a whistle. It made me furious when the ref said 'he talked to the kid and he was fine' as he was lying on the ice. You're the adult (well, teenager), look after the safety of a kid. The explanation we got (before the ref stopped talking to us) had nothing to do with waiting for the team to get control of the puck.

That being said, in a different situation I don't have a problem with stacking bench penalties (well in my case a "too many men" plus a bench minor, then a subsequent bench minor). Don't be an idiot with refs. It's only a game.

Oh yeah - I almost forgot this part. After the two minute 5 on 3 expired (though we had 3 in the box) one kid was released. At the next whistle the second kid was released. Ref gives us ANOTHER bench minor because... I'm not sure why - the kid was supposed to stay in the box despite his (well the team) penalty expired? It was still a 5 on 4.

 

[Slats432]

I don't care how many penalties you received. Several times in the original post you used losing it and screaming at the refs. Don't care.

The proper procedure for any referee is to check with the player to see if they are OK. At U11, the chances of it being a very serious injury is low, so your coaches being idiots affect EVERYTHING that happens afterward. All of what happened based on your description was because you were yelling at the ref. If you frazzled a teenager and he gave you lots of penalties GOOD. Don't be a dummy and yell at refs.

 

[Yukon Joe]

If any of your commentary is "Screaming at the ref" that could be the biggest issue here. "Most" kids who fall at that age are looking for attention, not hurt.

Your staff sounds like they acted like idiots and yelling at officials probably caused everything that happened after the first incident. Not being there doesn't give me a lot of clarity on the errors the refs made, but FOR f*** SAKES STOP YELLING AT THE REFS, or there will be no refs. You can lace them up and do it yourselves.

OK, so I do generally think our coaches should take a lighter touch with the refs. We've never been given a bench minor, or had anyone kicked out before, but generally speaking I'd prefer they keep their mouths shut a little more often.

But when a kid is lying on the ice and the refs is just ignoring it I'd make an exception.

"looking for attention"... hey at this age I'll admit 19 times out of 20 the kid is probably back on the ice for their next shift. But they're kids. They're hurt/startled/whatever. What they aren't doing is trying to draw a penalty. This isn't pro soccer. So what if they need attention - blow the whistle and lets make sure the kid is okay.

So the same kid whose nose bled all over - he was back for the next game. But he lost an edge and went into the boards in that next game (no penalty on the play). Ref did blow the whistle right away. Kid again didn't finish that second game with a likely sprained elbow.

 

[Yukon Joe]

I don't care how many penalties you received. Several times in the original post you used losing it and screaming at the refs. Don't care.

The proper procedure for any referee is to check with the player to see if they are OK. At U11, the chances of it being a very serious injury is low, so your coaches being idiots affect EVERYTHING that happens afterward. All of what happened based on your description was because you were yelling at the ref. If you frazzled a teenager and he gave you lots of penalties GOOD. Don't be a dummy and yell at refs.

Kid did not return to the game. He couldn't breath and started bleeding all over his jersey once he made it to the bench.

Edit:

And I referenced "losing it" and "screaming" because I'm trying to be accurate and not soft-pedalling our coaches behavior. Ideally they should have been a more moderate in their tone. But like I said, I think I understand it when it comes to kids safety. If they were screaming about a missed offside call I'd have a totally different perspective.

 

[Slats432]

Kid did not return to the game. He couldn't breath and started bleeding all over his jersey once he made it to the bench.

Not knowing what goes through a teenager ref has going through his mind, I can't tell you what the best action would have been if there was a serious medical emergency. It would have been better, as I suggested to have an adult (Not sure there were any on your bench), have a calm conversation with the referee after the incident to ensure player safety. The rest of the stuff is just coaches being coaches and treating refs badly. All that penalty stuff is irrelevant after you yelled at the ref. Hopefully the ref quits reffing minor hockey like me and my son did after someone in Atom tier five yelled at us for a trip back in 2014.

Maybe I sound overly salty, but in my hundreds of minor hockey games and thousands of men's league games, the poor treatment of the refs in sports is undeniably an epidemic of unbelievable proportions.

Let's agree with this, the young ref likely didn't handle the first issue properly. After you started yelling at him, the rest is your fault. IMO. Maybe he was too nervous being yelled at by "adults" that his judgement was clouded the rest of the way.

 

[tarheelhockey]

That being said, in a different situation I don't have a problem with stacking bench penalties (well in my case a "too many men" plus a bench minor, then a subsequent bench minor). Don't be an idiot with refs. It's only a game.

I agree that it’s very very situation dependent, and there are times when a referee really should break out the 5-on-3 unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. That’s especially the case when players/coaches are already creating a disturbance in the early stages of a game, or later in a blowout when competitive frustration becomes an issue.

On the other side of the coin, stacking a UC into another penalty is highly likely to determine the outcome of a close game if it happens late or in OT. It should take an extraordinary circumstance for that to happen — obviously if someone makes physical contact, or unleashes an absolute abusive tirade, then they’re asking for it. But it’s not an appropriate response to a player/coach simply arguing a penalty call (which by nature of being late in a close game is a natural reaction). In those circumstances, the UC has the strong potential to determine the game outcome based on the referee’s desire to assert authority in a heated moment, and that is not appropriate in the grand scheme of why everyone is there in the first place.

I realize that officials are somewhat handcuffed by the rulebook, which in some circumstances requires a UC minor before a 10-minute misconduct can be issued. That’s poor legislation, in my opinion. 9 times out of 10, the best choice for maintaining order and respect is to send the individual player off for half a period (or send the coach off for the balance of the game) rather than create that 5-on-3 scenario which punishes the team collectively, and then returns the (now irate) player immediately back to the game.

 

[Slats432]

I agree that it’s very very situation dependent, and there are times when a referee really should break out the 5-on-3 unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. That’s especially the case when players/coaches are already creating a disturbance in the early stages of a game, or later in a blowout when competitive frustration becomes an issue.

On the other side of the coin, stacking a UC into another penalty is highly likely to determine the outcome of a close game if it happens late or in OT. It should take an extraordinary circumstance for that to happen — obviously if someone makes physical contact, or unleashes an absolute abusive tirade, then they’re asking for it. But it’s not an appropriate response to a player/coach simply arguing a penalty call (which by nature of being late in a close game is a natural reaction). In those circumstances, the UC has the strong potential to determine the game outcome based on the referee’s desire to assert authority in a heated moment, and that is not appropriate in the grand scheme of why everyone is there in the first place.

I realize that officials are somewhat handcuffed by the rulebook, which in some circumstances requires a UC minor before a 10-minute misconduct can be issued. That’s poor legislation, in my opinion. 9 times out of 10, the best choice for maintaining order and respect is to send the individual player off for half a period (or send the coach off for the balance of the game) rather than create that 5-on-3 scenario which punishes the team collectively, and then returns the (now irate) player immediately back to the game.

A lot of the "book" is out the window when the kids are 10, the refs are 14 and the coaches are screaming at the stripes.

 

[BruinDust]

Let's be honest about some referees. They are in it for the power trip. That is what gets them off. For the vast majority they are in it for the right reasons. But there are some, like in all positions of authority, who enjoy being in control and throwing their weight around.

In my brief time behind a bench, nothing would get me more upset than when I felt the refs were putting my players in harms way. I remember this one ref, who was a complete sook, being unable to control the game and a scuffle broke out and he left the ice. I let him have it, this was 20+ years ago but I'm sure I called him some things I shouldn't repeat. I can't recall being that upset at many things but my blood was boiling when he left the players (ages 15-18) to their own devices. Thankfully the scuffle settled down on it's own. Every time he came near the bench the rest of the game he heard me chastising him. Just a gutless weasel.

All that being said, refereeing is tough gig (I wouldn't want to do it) and it's hard to find refs, let alone quality ones. In my older age I rarely say anything to beer league referees. Doesn't do much good, all it does is put a target on your back and you don't get the benefit of the doubt anymore. I feel bad for minor hockey players when they travel and encounter completely bias officiating in favor of the hometown team. Players on both sides. It's not fair to either team. Sadly it does happen.

 

[Slats432]

Let's be honest about some referees. They are in it for the power trip. That is what gets them off. For the vast majority they are in it for the right reasons. But there are some, like in all positions of authority, who enjoy being in control and throwing their weight around.

In my brief time behind a bench, nothing would get me more upset than when I felt the refs were putting my players in harms way. I remember this one ref, who was a complete sook, being unable to control the game and a scuffle broke out and he left the ice. I let him have it, this was 20+ years ago but I'm sure I called him some things I shouldn't repeat. I can't recall being that upset at many things but my blood was boiling when he left the players (ages 15-18) to their own devices. Thankfully the scuffle settled down on it's own. Every time he came near the bench the rest of the game he heard me chastising him. Just a gutless weasel.

All that being said, refereeing is tough gig (I wouldn't want to do it) and it's hard to find refs, let alone quality ones. In my older age I rarely say anything to beer league referees. Doesn't do much good, all it does is put a target on your back and you don't get the benefit of the doubt anymore. I feel bad for minor hockey players when they travel and encounter completely bias officiating in favor of the hometown team. Players on both sides. It's not fair to either team. Sadly it does happen.

14 year olds refs aren't in it for power trips.

 

[BruinDust]

14 year olds refs aren't in it for power trips.

Where in my post did I mention 14-year olds?

 

[Slats432]

Where in my post did I mention 14-year olds?

The whole thread started about young refs doing a U11 game. So in this context the power tripping isn't applicable. Although if we started a general "Complain about refs." thread it would hit the 1000 post mark rather quickly.

 

[BruinDust]

The whole thread started about young refs doing a U11 game. So in this context the power tripping isn't applicable.

That's fine, but my comments were about refs in general.

And if I'm being honest, I've never played in nor coached in a game officiated by a 14-year old. I've encountered young linesmen, but the ref has typically been an adult.

 

[Yukon Joe]

14 year olds refs aren't in it for power trips.

The refs in my case was a teen, but I very much doubt he was only 14 years old.

Like I said I think there's a huge difference when it comes to an issue of player safety, and just a situation of whether a trip/hooking/whatever should or should not be made.

I certainly don't think my teen-aged ref was on a power trip either. He didn't know how to handle the situation/wouldn't admit to making a mistake, and instead just dug in his heels by handing out bench minors like candy, and then seeming to continue to not blow play dead when the next two kids went and stayed down. He refused to talk with us even when voices weren't raised.

But really - while handing out a bunch of penalties might be effective if we were beaking off about wanting a penalty called, but is extremely unlikely to shut up a bunch of hockey dads who think their kids are being put in danger.


The good news/bad news is that while all those penalties 100% determined the outcome of that game, this was a tournament and we did get a rematch against the same team 2 days later. It was a clean game that we lost fair and square, but it wasn't decided by the refs.

 

[Slats432]

The refs in my case was a teen, but I very much doubt he was only 14 years old.

Like I said I think there's a huge difference when it comes to an issue of player safety, and just a situation of whether a trip/hooking/whatever should or should not be made.

I certainly don't think my teen-aged ref was on a power trip either. He didn't know how to handle the situation/wouldn't admit to making a mistake, and instead just dug in his heels by handing out bench minors like candy, and then seeming to continue to not blow play dead when the next two kids went and stayed down. He refused to talk with us even when voices weren't raised.

But really - while handing out a bunch of penalties might be effective if we were beaking off about wanting a penalty called, but is extremely unlikely to shut up a bunch of hockey dads who think their kids are being put in danger.


The good news/bad news is that while all those penalties 100% determined the outcome of that game, this was a tournament and we did get a rematch against the same team 2 days later. It was a clean game that we lost fair and square, but it wasn't decided by the refs.

If you haven't got it now, you won't ever get it.

 

[tarheelhockey]

I don't think many refs actually get "power trips" per se. It's more that conflict is inherent in the position, and they act like human beings when it comes to conflict. If someone's insulting them or embarrassing them, they're going to protect their ego like anyone else would do under similar circumstances. Often that means flexing their decision-making power, whether it's a ref or a cop or a teacher or whatever.

To me, the ideal situation is what you see in higher level competitive sports: the refs work in actual teams which make regular appearances, they talk to the players and coaches throughout the game, there are designated captains, there are typically 4 officials on the ice, and there are feedback procedures built-in to the environment. There's also a lot of pressure on all sides not to go over the top with conflict. The result is that the refs and players/coaches are typically on a first-name basis, with a lot of communication going on. When conflict arises, both sides have the choice to deliberately escalate or de-escalate without completely control.

None of that is true in an amateur environment. The refs that get treated the best are the ones who pro-actively talk to the players, usually by showing up for warmups or chatting at the faceoff circle. Otherwise they're just some dudes who came out of the locker room 30 seconds before game time and jumped right into an authority position. The schedules are so compressed that there's no time for explanations, there's no captain or coach (at the adult level) so everyone wants to get in the ref's ear, and it's not like you're going to get fined if you blow your top. It's like having a substitute teacher, you don't know what you're dealing with... and if a situation arises, it comes to a head quickly because both sides are jockeying to be heard. Overall it's a bad dynamic for both the refs and the players.

 

[Yukon Joe]

I dunno @tarheelhockey Yes in more competitive sports the refs are much more experienced and professional - but there's also much more of an attempt to try and game the refs by the coaches and players.

At minor/rec hockey - yeah the professionalism of all parties is a lot less - but on some level everyone also understands that none of this truly matters.

 

[Slats432]

I dunno @tarheelhockey Yes in more competitive sports the refs are much more experienced and professional - but there's also much more of an attempt to try and game the refs by the coaches and players.

At minor/rec hockey - yeah the professionalism of all parties is a lot less - but on some level everyone also understands that none of this truly matters.

If this were the case, less people would abuse the refs and it would be a better game for everyone. Hopefully people evolve to this point of view.

 

[tarheelhockey]

I dunno @tarheelhockey Yes in more competitive sports the refs are much more experienced and professional - but there's also much more of an attempt to try and game the refs by the coaches and players.

Definitely, but IMO the closer to pro you get, the more the refs and coaches/players are trained in how to show mutual respect while trying to game each other. Players are disciplined by their own team if they chirp the refs, coaches get calls and fines, refs have supervisors. Even down to certain players getting a reputation as divers or cheap shot artists, so there is long term accountability for those who turn out to be bad eggs. The culture is just different, much more personal in addition to the professionalism. And again, there are actual processes in place for feedback... if the ref makes a terrible call your captain will actually get an explanation from him and your coach will give him an earful, without the penalized player needing to get involved. It prevents a lot of the random popping-off that we see in lower leagues.

At minor/rec hockey - yeah the professionalism of all parties is a lot less - but on some level everyone also understands that none of this truly matters.

Honestly I'm not sure this makes any difference. Competition means adrenaline starts flowing and people get serious. I've seen fistfights (multiple) break out in YMCA pickup basketball, because grown men are so competitively escalated that they won't back down in a confrontation. That same dynamic exists in a beer league just as well as in the Stanley Cup Finals, and if anything the environmental controls are stronger in pro sports. We don't ever see refs getting physically attacked in the pro leagues the way they do at neighborhood rinks.

 

[ref19]

OK, so I'm going to start with some throat-clearing - I think I am the last one to complain about the refs. Make a call, don't make a call, call icing or don't call icing - whatever. It's a tough job, they're not making much money, I'm sure they really don't care who wins or loses your average rec or minor hockey game. I work in the justice system so I have a lot of sympathy.

I also know that given the rant I'm going to go on many of you might think the above is bullshit.

But at my middle kid's (U11) hockey game last week was the worst reffing I've ever seen (I'm one of the assistant coaches).

It all went down in the second period. One of our kids goes into the boards, doesn't get up. No whistle. We start screaming for a whistle from the bench. Kid is down for 30 seconds, eventually gets himself to his feet and comes to the bench. We hustle a new kid out there and now comes the whistle - too many men.

All the coaches start losing it. Ref says "well I asked the kid and he seemed fine". We keep an asthma inhaler for this kid on the bench - he couldn't even talk when the ref asked him. And in any event these are kids - you don't rely on a kid to say they're fine or not. But the ref won't hear it - now it's a bench minor, 5 on 3 for two minutes.

Kid never returned to the game, by the way. His nose started bleeding all over the place, his mom came and got him, he was all freaked out. He's only 10.

Anyways during the 5 on 3, kid from the other team goes down. Again no whistle. We start screaming again. Ref gives us another bench minor - putting 3 kids in the box.

Early third period, there's a hit in the corner, one of our kids is down. I think they should have called the hit, but I'll let that go. But again they're really slow on the whistle as the kid doesn't get up. The kid's dad (also an assistant) is jumping on the ice same time / second before the whistle finally goes, he's screaming at the ref. After he helps his kid up he's ejected, yet another bench minor.

FFS - like I said off the top I don't care about calling the plays on the ice one way or another. But when it comes to the safety of kids on the ice that has to be your priority. Or just know that when coaches (who are also parents) are coming from a place about kids safety don't just keep handing out bench minors. We had a light bench to begin with but at one point between the kid who was injured, and 3 in the box we were trying to juggle lines with 6 skaters.


Or tell me I'm wrong. I'm a grown-up and I can take it.

Your staff was out of line and can learn from it. Hopefully they apologize the next time they see that ref.

 

[ChuckLefley]

The whole thread started about young refs doing a U11 game. So in this context the power tripping isn't applicable. Although if we started a general "Complain about refs." thread it would hit the 1000 post mark rather quickly.

Which is exactly what makes this thread infuriating to me. This isn’t just about coaches going off on a ref that they disagreed with, but a ref who is a kid. Is this any better than a better hurling abuse at kids on the other team, from the stands? No.