Speculation: Bold predictions for Canes 19/20

[emptyNedder]

1. Fleury scores 2 goals
2. Teravainen is top 10 in NHL in assists
3. Wallmark outscores Haula at even strength
4. Necas has first Carolina PP goal
5. Faulk has more goals/points than Hamilton on Dec.31 (traded players seem to find some extra scoring)

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[WreckingCrew]

1. Fleury scores 2 goals
2. Teravainen is top 10 in NHL in assists
3. Wallmark outscores Haula at even strength
4. Necas has first Carolina PP goal
5. Faulk has more goals/points than Hamilton on Dec.31 (traded players seem to find some extra scoring)

Woaah there buddy, this is "bold predictions", not "parallel universe" predictions

 

[tatertot843]

Aho with 115 points
Reimer becomes the starter with a .901 pct

Trade deadline we trade for Kase send out a 2nd and 3rd

Lose finals in 6

 

[Finlandia WOAT]

Foegele cracks 20 points, Goat gets less than 10/40 games, Martinhook gets 12 goals, Hamilton brushes 20, Pesce plays less than 30 games, the female mascot is quietly phased out, Dundon will have at least 3 comments/organizational actions that will cause the Canadian media to flip out, PP in the top 20, PK in the top 10, make the playoffs, lose in round 2 to the Caps

 

[VAcaniac]

Lose opening night cuz we always do.

 

[MinJaBen]

Foegele cracks 20 points, Goat gets less than 10/40 games, Martinhook gets 12 goals, Hamilton brushes 20, Pesce plays less than 30 games, the female mascot is quietly phased out, Dundon will have at least 3 comments/organizational actions that will cause the Canadian media to flip out, PP in the top 20, PK in the top 10, make the playoffs, lose in round 2 to the Caps

Pesce misses over half the season and we make round two?!?

No way.

 

[MinJaBen]

Bold predictions:

- Someone hacks the wristbands tomorrow night and spells out “Free #44”
- Cale Fleury out scores his brother next year all in the first game
- Hamilton gets jealous of Hamilton the pig and puts vinegar and slaw on him
- Ned gets double digit call ups and out scores our PP in those games

 

[Lempo]

We will be in at the Thanksgiving time.

 

[Surrounded By Ahos]

We will be in at the Thanksgiving time.

Canadian or American?

 

[Roboturner913]

- Brad Pesce offers Tripp some shrooms during a live broadcast. Tripp partakes. Audience can't tell any difference between regular Tripp and shroomed-up Tripp. Taco Bell after, of course.

- Coach Rod rage-quits a game after a bad call, but first he rips the official's still-beating heart out of his chest, Temple of Doom style.

- Every Storm Surge is a re-enactment of a Nicholas Cage move. First up: Con Air, starring Dougie Hamilton as Cameron Poe, Jake Gardiner as Garland Greene and Sebastian Aho as Cyrus the Virus.

- Chad LaRose dies horrifically in a tragic Storm Siren accident.

- Mike "The Big Rig" Maniscalco will be re-dubbed "The Little Rig" when Forslund accidently walks in on him in the bathroom and it's discovered he has a micropenis.

- Tom Dundon so cheap he can't pay the second part of Aho's signing bonus. Canes go into default and fold up operations. Aho is awarded to the Habs.

- Other players are redistributed throughout the league in an emergency draft. Ottawa ends up with every player except Sebastian Aho. The Senators reach the Stanley Cup finals against the St. Louis Blues. During the 3rd intermission of game 7 with the Sens trailing 5-1, Aho and Justin Faulk show up in the Sens locker room. They do the scene from D2: The Mighty Ducks, everyone changes into Canes jerseys, and they go kick the shit out of the Blues and win 12-5. They pass up victory laps with the Cup to re-enact their final and best Storm Surge, which is of course the Nicholas Cage classic "The Rock." Martinook murders Don Cherry by making him the victim of the "Rocket Man" scene, then lifts the Cup up over his head and screams "Now how do ya like how that **** works?"

 

[MrazeksVengeance]

Reimer becomes the starter with a .901 pct

STOP RIGHT THERE FOR THE GENERAL WELL-BEING OF THIS COMMUNITY.

Lose opening night cuz we always do.

NOT TOO BOLD.

 

[DougieSmash]

We win a gaem

 

[zman77]

Svech scores 42 goals this season and then demands a rematch with OV!

Slavin and Aho decline their invitations to the NHL All-Star game.

RBA becomes Player/Coach at Xmas.

 

[the halleJOKEL]

biscuitville becomes the new biscuit partner of the carolina hurricanes, upsetting the natural balance of the universe

the PP immediately goes on a tear now that it is free from the confines of the boberry promotion

 

[NotOpie]

Dundon will have at least 3 comments/organizational actions that will cause the Canadian media to flip out,

They said bold....this is pretty much a guarantee....

On to the predictions...

1. Justin Williams will be behind the bench as a special assistant by Feb. 1.
2. Carolina Hurricanes will have 6 or more 20 goal scorers.
3. The "best defense in the league" will actually play like it.
4. Warren Foegele will be in the Top 6 by Thanksgiving.
5. Somebody in the Top 9 will miss 40 or more games due to injury.
6. Petr Mrazek will finish the year as a Top 10 goalie in the league.
7. The Carolina Hurricanes have higher attendance than at least 10 other teams.

 

[Lempo]

Canadian or American?

...

 

[raynman]

Brock McGinn scores 20
Teuvo is the representative at the asg
Pesce breaks out and is the #1 d-man at season’s end

 

[MrazeksVengeance]

They said bold....this is pretty much a guarantee....

On to the predictions...

1. Justin Williams will be behind the bench as a special assistant by Feb. 1.
2. Carolina Hurricanes will have 6 or more 20 goal scorers.
3. The "best defense in the league" will actually play like it.
4. Warren Foegele will be in the Top 6 by Thanksgiving.
5. Somebody in the Top 9 will miss 40 or more games due to injury.
6. Petr Mrazek will finish the year as a Top 10 goalie in the league.
7. The Carolina Hurricanes have higher attendance than at least 10 other teams.

‘TIS I LIKE.

 

[Wolfpuck]

I will consume lots of Storm Brew (meh) and my shitposting will somehow get worse than it already is.

Jack Edwards will whine about Hamilton and the Whalers jerseys again.

Don "Clown Suit" Cherry will whine about professionalism unironically.

Stormy and Caroline will break up.

Brind'Amour will straight up fight a motherf***er at some point.

 

[CanesFanBudMan]

Foegele will score the first goal tonight while getting pushed/ losing an edge and sliding under Price. Cale Fleury will run him and Haydn will step in.

 

[vorbis]

Haydn Fleury scores exactly one goal

 

[Svechhammer]

Cold take - Canes miss the playoffs
Lukewarm take - Canes get a Wild Card spot
Medium take - Canes get a Metro playoff bid
Simmering take - Canes win the Metro
Bubbling take - Canes win the Eastern Conference
Rolling boil take - Canes win the Stanley Cup
Scalding hot take - Canes finish top 10 in the league on the PP

 

[Stickpucker]

BCB hits less than 10 posts all year

Donny Wads sees more action with the ladies than Rod the Bod. (It's the turtleneck....try it sometime)

Wallmark has more assists than Staal

The team has more than 5 fighting majors this year (peoope hate us now)

We don't have a bottom 5 pp

Foegele breaks 45 pts while showing some razzle dazzle in his game.

Hamilton the pig is impregnated and the sucklings are all named after Canes players.

Beyonce releases a new hit album that includes at least one Slice Girl as background vocals. Halle flies to London to see them in concert and declares it the best moment of his life. He may have gotten VIP passes backstage and things may or may not have happened.

 

[Svechhammer]

Beyonce releases a new hit album that includes at least one Slice Girl as background vocals.

 

[CandyCanes]

- Brad Pesce offers Tripp some shrooms during a live broadcast. Tripp partakes. Audience can't tell any difference between regular Tripp and shroomed-up Tripp. Taco Bell after, of course.

- Coach Rod rage-quits a game after a bad call, but first he rips the official's still-beating heart out of his chest, Temple of Doom style.

- Every Storm Surge is a re-enactment of a Nicholas Cage move. First up: Con Air, starring Dougie Hamilton as Cameron Poe, Jake Gardiner as Garland Greene and Sebastian Aho as Cyrus the Virus.

- Chad LaRose dies horrifically in a tragic Storm Siren accident.

- Mike "The Big Rig" Maniscalco will be re-dubbed "The Little Rig" when Forslund accidently walks in on him in the bathroom and it's discovered he has a micropenis.

- Tom Dundon so cheap he can't pay the second part of Aho's signing bonus. Canes go into default and fold up operations. Aho is awarded to the Habs.

- Other players are redistributed throughout the league in an emergency draft. Ottawa ends up with every player except Sebastian Aho. The Senators reach the Stanley Cup finals against the St. Louis Blues. During the 3rd intermission of game 7 with the Sens trailing 5-1, Aho and Justin Faulk show up in the Sens locker room. They do the scene from D2: The Mighty Ducks, everyone changes into Canes jerseys, and they go kick the **** out of the Blues and win 12-5. They pass up victory laps with the Cup to re-enact their final and best Storm Surge, which is of course the Nicholas Cage classic "The Rock." Martinook murders Don Cherry by making him the victim of the "Rocket Man" scene, then lifts the Cup up over his head and screams "Now how do ya like how that **** works?"

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