OT: Bench's Dumb Toolbox Thread

Bench

3 is a good start
Aug 14, 2011
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In this thread you go through the Wings roster and assign tools to players.

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So like Larkin is a ratchet set. He's fast. He has nice turns. And you're always happy to have one when they job calls for it.

Danny DeKeyser the tape measure. He's our measurement for your average NHL defender to compare against.

Alex Nedeljkovic is our big blue tarp. He protects.

Please continue this brilliant thread. Thank you.
 

Bench

3 is a good start
Aug 14, 2011
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I need you guys to tell me what tools goalies are.

But I'm afraid to discover the answers.
 

Lazlo Hollyfeld

The jersey ad still sucks
Mar 4, 2004
28,618
27,073
Marc Staal the slip-joint pliers.

The rusted old pair in your toolbox that you think you might have inherited from your grandpa? You're not really sure how they got there. There's better tools out there but they're expensive and this one is nearby, and damned if it doesn't do a better job than you would've expected.

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Lil Sebastian Cossa

Opinions are share are my own personal opinions.
Jul 6, 2012
11,436
7,446
I need you guys to tell me what tools goalies are.

But I'm afraid to discover the answers.

The ones that you don't remotely take care of and just throw at every f***in problem. If it doesn't work, it's the tool's fault, even if it's rusted to high heaven and doesn't even open anymore. If it does work, well, you're just relieved that the task is done and were so sick of trying to get things to work that you don't appreciate that old junky completed the task for ya.

So, a goalie is whatever tool is buried at the bottom of your toolbox that is old and not maintained. If it fails, f*** that tool. If it succeeds, well, you were about to throw the damn thing out the window anyway.
 

Bench

3 is a good start
Aug 14, 2011
21,244
15,034
crease
The ones that you don't remotely take care of and just throw at every f***in problem. If it doesn't work, it's the tool's fault, even if it's rusted to high heaven and doesn't even open anymore. If it does work, well, you're just relieved that the task is done and were so sick of trying to get things to work that you don't appreciate that old junky completed the task for ya.

So, a goalie is whatever tool is buried at the bottom of your toolbox that is old and not maintained. If it fails, f*** that tool. If it succeeds, well, you were about to throw the damn thing out the window anyway.

This is actually kind of deep.
 

ShelbyZ

Registered User
Apr 8, 2015
3,818
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Suter and Nedelkovic could be like gambling on tools from Harbor Freight...

Way cheaper to get than well known established names, even though you know those will likely be better right off the bat. There's also a lot of reviews, but you know deep down a lot of them are from people who bought it and used it for a short time before posting that review...

But sometimes you never know what you might get:

-Could be junk right off the bat (A HF pickle fork that broke the first time I hit it with a hammer...)

-Could seem almost too good to be true for a few initial uses before failing spectacularly (A HF electric wood chipper... DON'T EVEN ASK)

-Might end up not doing what you initially thought it would, but ends up working for some less demanding work (A HF drill advertised as "heavy duty" that for whatever reason didn't do what I bought it for. But after ponying up for a nice Dewalt that did the job, the HF unit gets occasional use by my wife as an over glorified "power screwdriver" for minor home projects.)

-Could work OK for a little while before you decide to go back to HF and try one that's a little more expensive or rip off the band-aid and pony up for a name brand (probably just about every air tool or compressor I've bought from HF)

-Could be way better than you expected and become a permanent relied on fixture in your collection (A cheap 3 foot 1/2" drive HF breaker bar that I've had for over 20 years that has taken an unbelievable beating... I'm talking like using it (sometimes unsuccessfully on rare occasions) to break free rusted axle nuts where like the strongest friend I have is flexing the thing practically into a "U"-shape and you're taking cover in anticipation of something breaking and flying across the garage, having a dude well over 400lbs jump on it, or even setting it somewhere between 12 and 1 o clock so you can hook a tow strap from a moving vehicle to it...)

Then sometimes when a tool from HF fails and you can't return it, a friend might take it because they insist they know how to fix it, or you finally put it by the garbage cans on trash day and it either gets picked up by some garbage picker hunting for treasure (or scrap) or ends up in the landfill never to be seen again.
 
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jkutswings

hot piss hockey
Jul 10, 2014
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Could seem almost too good to be true for a few initial uses before failing spectacularly (A HF electric wood chipper... DON'T EVEN ASK)
That last part makes it seem like you're new here. :D

What happened?!?!? :eek:
 

OgeeOgelthorpe

Baldina
Feb 29, 2020
17,221
18,350
Namestnikov is that ratcheting screwdriver that rattles around in every toolbox. Only the ring that used to contain all the interchangeable bits has nothing but the square bit left.
 

Squirrel in the Hole

Be the best squirrel in the hole
Feb 18, 2004
1,755
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Sydney
The ones that you don't remotely take care of and just throw at every f***in problem. If it doesn't work, it's the tool's fault, even if it's rusted to high heaven and doesn't even open anymore. If it does work, well, you're just relieved that the task is done and were so sick of trying to get things to work that you don't appreciate that old junky completed the task for ya.

So, a goalie is whatever tool is buried at the bottom of your toolbox that is old and not maintained. If it fails, f*** that tool. If it succeeds, well, you were about to throw the damn thing out the window anyway.
Sounds like a plunger
 

Gniwder

Registered User
Oct 12, 2009
14,327
7,658
Bellingham, WA
Hmm. Ford transmission?
Just the autos. Sucks because they could have greatly increased reliability for a few bucks, especially the servo piston bores.

The DCTs and CVTs were complete garbage that never should have been produced. I always hated transmission guys.


Suter and Nedelkovic could be like gambling on tools from Harbor Freight...
Never buy power tools from HF, their hand tools are OK though as you mentioned sometimes they aren't properly heat treated. Anything with threads has a limited lifetime. Pneumatic tools like nail guns will last for a few uses, and work better than their electric tools which are always underpowered for the task.

I use Ryobi cordless for all my power tools, they are surprisingly good, except for the garden sprayer. I removed an entire rear subframe of a car in less than 10 minutes with a Ryobi cordless 1/2" impact. Not quite as much torque as my pneumatic, but pretty impressive for a cordless.
 

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