Anthony DeAngelo's Potential/Future

[Jakey53]

In my experience—a little more than a decade of tutoring teenagers—kids who use racial, gay or any other slurs tend not to be moral paragons otherwise. That you would call someone a ****** even out of reflexive anger suggests that you see homosexuality as some kind of shortcoming, but it pretty much always goes hand-in-hand with other character issues. Tony DeAngelo is not a good samaritan who had a lapse. He's a flawed human who has the potential to reform. Because of his hockey talent, he'll be given chance after chance that too many gay kids still can't have. That's not a good thing, and to celebrate it or even write it off as "PC culture" contributes to the problem. There are still 0 openly gay NHL players, and it seems far more likely that attitudes like DeAngelo's keep that the status quo than that there has never been a gay man good enough to play hockey at the highest level.

At any rate, dismissive attitudes aren't going to help anyone. DeAngelo has been held accountable for his actions, and it's up to him to grow up.

We are all flawed humans with short comings.

 

[jacobhockey13]

In my experience—a little more than a decade of tutoring teenagers—kids who use racial, gay or any other slurs tend not to be moral paragons otherwise. That you would call someone a ****** even out of reflexive anger suggests that you see homosexuality as some kind of shortcoming, but it pretty much always goes hand-in-hand with other character issues. Tony DeAngelo is not a good samaritan who had a lapse. He's a flawed human who has the potential to reform. Because of his hockey talent, he'll be given chance after chance that too many gay kids still can't have. That's not a good thing, and to celebrate it or even write it off as "PC culture" contributes to the problem. There are still 0 openly gay NHL players, and it seems far more likely that attitudes like DeAngelo's keep that the status quo than that there has never been a gay man good enough to play hockey at the highest level.

At any rate, dismissive attitudes aren't going to help anyone. DeAngelo has been held accountable for his actions, and it's up to him to grow up.

This post is spot-on. The people who I have met who say things like that were mean-spirited. That's different from just being ignorant.

I wrote up a longer response but deleted it because I know this forum is strictly non-political (though being queer continues to become "less-political") but my general thoughts are that even though hockey does not generally attract the most conscientious, woke 14 year-olds (if you don't believe me, just refer to draft-eligible kids' favorite movies that they always get asked about. It's a guide for what-not-to-watch), you can tell pretty quickly by listening to the talk in a locker room who's respectful and who's not. It takes a pretty basic lack of respect to get dinged for what Deangelo got dinged for. The people who say this is "PC culture" and that the victim should have just punched him don't really understand the issue, or even life for that matter. How many times have you punched a grown-ass man/woman at your job because you didn't like something he said? Grow up.

I'm all for learning experiences though.

Note: If you say that the other kid was just playing a victim card and tell me about how you instead acted "like a man" when you were being bullied for being a fourth-generation Italian-American then shut the **** up and go back to your grandparents' canoli shop. (That was a joke. People who advocate for respect can also tell edgy jokes too )

 

[Lilhoody]

So at what point does this stop following him? A stupid comment should not determine his whole life. That punishment is far too high.

Doubtful it will. This seems normal; people still remember me for the mistakes I made as a boot, twenty years ago...when I was my daughter's age.

I'm with you there. The PC society we live in today makes me sick. I believe how kids are taught to be so sensitive and take everything personally weakens character. We all say things out of anger that we really don't mean. It's like a reflex. Keep pissing off the other teams D. Just don't get suspended.

Conflict is healthy and shouldn't be taboo.

I agree. I really like DeAngelo. This racial slur bull---- is getting out of hand. You should have heard what we called other players back in the day, yet we were all friends.

Yep, It's just part of the game. Hockey is a gladiator sport and the way these issues are taken care of on and off the ice are largely why I enjoy it so much.

We are all flawed humans with short comings.

All of us.

 

[PhoPhan]

Guys, come on. If DeAngelo derisively called some kid "gay" (the filter on this site is making this subject very difficult to discuss), the target of the insult may not have cared. But let's say there's a gay kid on the team. Hearing that, even if it's not directed at him, hurts. It tells him he's unwelcome there. In an environment where there are still no openly gay pro athletes and where gay kids have a dramatically higher suicide rate, that matters a whole awful lot.

Is a single comment by a single person the end of the world? Of course not. But it's part of an undeniable larger cultural issue that needs to be addressed, and holding people like DeAngelo accountable is part of that effort.

 

[XX]

I believe how kids are taught to be so sensitive and take everything personally weakens character.

That's really weird, because I believe most people would say that learning to respect others is a sign of character.

Conflict is healthy and shouldn't be taboo.

Conflict based solely around who somebody is as a person is absolutely not healthy. Study history for more than five minutes.

 

[Lilhoody]

Conflict based solely around who somebody is as a person is absolutely not healthy. Study history for more than five minutes.

That's a stretch.

 

[XX]

That's a stretch.

Claiming people have been persecuted based on their sexual orientation, religion, or skin color is a stretch?

It's not acceptable. Pretty simple.

 

[Jakey53]

Guys, come on. If DeAngelo derisively called some kid "gay" (the filter on this site is making this subject very difficult to discuss), the target of the insult may not have cared. But let's say there's a gay kid on the team. Hearing that, even if it's not directed at him, hurts. It tells him he's unwelcome there. In an environment where there are still no openly gay pro athletes and where gay kids have a dramatically higher suicide rate, that matters a whole awful lot.

Is a single comment by a single person the end of the world? Of course not. But it's part of an undeniable larger cultural issue that needs to be addressed, and holding people like DeAngelo accountable is part of that effort.

My generation, and my father's generation, things were said that are a hell of a lot worse than what is being said today. I dare to say everyone of us has called someone gay, ugly, fat, stupid, ---hole etc. We say things we shouldn't say in anger, or even in a every day conversations. Is it right. No. Every one of us have to stand up for our self sooner or later and can't hide behind your mother's apron, as they say. This racial slur bull---- has gone way over the top.

 

[Bonsai Tree]

The question for me is at what point does punishment end and vengeance begin? The kid's been suspended, traded and just pounded over this. Punishment enough. Now he should get the opportunity to just be a hockey player.

 

[Lilhoody]

Claiming people have been persecuted based on their sexual orientation, religion, or skin color is a stretch?

It's not acceptable. Pretty simple.

In this context and response to what I posted..yes.

I can see everyone's POV, but don't have to agree. I still get dressed in a locker room and what some here find so egregious is rather normal. It's normal among males in our society; regardless of race, religion, age or sexual preference. To suggest it isn't and we are some modern, enlightened society is naive. However, social media fuels and fosters this naivety, or rather hypocrisy.

To the point about conflict; it's healthy, normal and necessary. Do you like it when your boss fails to address an issue because conflict has become taboo? I suggest not. Conflict only festers when it isn't allowed...where ever it maybe (school yard, hockey rink, football field, work, home).

This thread has morphed into something it wasn't intended to be and that's too bad.

 

[cobra427]

My generation, and my father's generation, things were said that are a hell of a lot worse than what is being said today. I dare to say everyone of us has called someone gay, ugly, fat, stupid, ---hole etc. We say things we shouldn't say in anger, or even in a every day conversations. Is it right. No. Every one of us have to stand up for our self sooner or later and can't hide behind your mother's apron, as they say. This racial slur bull---- has gone way over the top.

As a kid growing up outside of Chicago, the trash talking, especially in sports was just the way it was back then. It wasn't ok then and wasn't right, just wasn't totally unacceptable like it is today. DeAngelo will grow up, nobody knows what he was exposed to along the way or what he was taught. His on ice performance will dictate his success or failure.

 

[PhoPhan]

Not all conflict is healthy. Homophobic hate speech should not be acceptable anywhere, much less from someone on track to be a pro athlete. Full stop. Don't move the goal posts by broadening the debate past the point of meaning.