Here are my preliminary picks, along with some shitty analysis because I can't sleep right now.
Jaguars @ Bengals (Thursday) --> I just have the feeling this is a trap game for the Bengals. I reserve the right to change this pick before kickoff though because the Jaguars are the Jaguars.
Washington Football Team @ Falcons --> Two gross offenses. The Falcons, as a team, are more gross. A WFT choke here would not at all surprise me.
Texans @ Bills --> The Texans have played hard under adversity but they don't realistically have a shot here. The Bills...are NOT the Jaguars.
Lions @ Bears --> Neither team is good but the Bears may actually be more of a clusterf*** than the team that has long defined the term. I think the Lions are playing harder and are more competitive, especially offensively where the Bears are one crippled step in front of the Jets.
Panthers @ Cowboys --> Normally I'd say it's a classic letdown game for Dallas, but I think they take a close one here. Both teams are no joke.
Colts @ Dolphins --> Both teams have injury concerns and the Dolphins OL is straight trash right now, but I like their chances here. Indy has to be one of the most disappointing teams to enter this year.
Browns @ Vikings --> I am well aware the NFL doesn't work this way but if you lose to the Bengals I simply don't like your chances against Ohio's better team.
Giants @ Saints --> I'd be floored if the Giants win this game. They are dreadful, and while the Saints aren't world beaters they are solid and well-coached.
Titans @ Jets --> The Jets have the worst offense in the league and the Titans...definitely do not. Jets front 4 is good but the secondary is young and LB's lack depth, I don't see how they can keep up with Tennessee even though their D is suspect...what are the chances the Jets are the team that's going to exploit that sufficiently enough to win this game? Almost zero in my opinion. Their entire offense is shell-shocked right now and they're ruining another QB as we speak.
Chiefs @ Eagles --> Like everyone else I don't buy the Chiefs 1-2 start. Way too much talent on this team to not win this one and the Eagles simply cannot keep up.
Cardinals @ Rams --> must-see game. Picking the Rams but must-see game. The literal opposite of Giants-Falcons.
Seahawks @ 49ers --> Seattle has a big edge at QB, the most important position by far, but SF is way deeper at most other positions and their D absolutely eats Seattle's D. I'm off the Seahawks bandwagon until they make significant changes on the defensive side of the ball because Wilson cannot outscore their problems every week.
Ravens @ Broncos --> another good game. This one will tell me if the Broncos are a playoff contender or not. Baltimore's not great but as of now I think they take this one.
Steelers @ Packers --> The Steelers offense I saw on Sunday will simply not be able to keep up with the Packers at home. Aaron Rodgers is still not human and Captain Fatf*** is playing like a backup QB right now. Also, I know they didn't have TJ Watt but your 70+ game streak of at least 1 QB sack ends when you play the freaking Bengals and their porous OL? Ridiculous.
Buccaneers @ Patriots --> Both teams coming off a loss and will be highly motivated, but the Bucs are simply better and I don't like the chances of a rookie QB keeping up with the greatest player to ever play the position, even if said player is 87 years old.
Raiders @ Chargers (Monday) --> This, or the Baltimore game, is my upset pick. The Raiders easily have the home field advantage here.