- Jun 19, 2018
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- 70,231
It's that time of year boys and girls. The time of year when the sporting world is is swept off its feet by a display so unfathomable, so moving, and so chub inducing that there can only be one explanation:
Tainter Jainter
Tainter is the stuff of legends. He's manned the hot corner and roamed center field in careers featuring ballets of raw power, blazing speed, and lightning quick reflexes. He has won triple crowns and MVPs while setting MLB single season records across the board of offensive ability. Never one to disappoint, Jainter's prowess also extends to the mound: Tainter's most recent campaign- a closing career- was nothing short of electric, notching the most saves in a single season and career across the span of more than a decade of brilliance, riding a sub 1.3 ERA, 0.8 WHIP, and 18 K/9 into the Hall of Fame.
In 2019, Tainter will have to claw his way from the southern comfort of rural Georgia through the hard knock life of minor league ball, en route to the big stage of LA alongside Mike Trout. You see, Jainter, SP, was selected by the Angels in the 17th round of the 2019 draft at 523rd overall. A project, Tainter's challenge will be figuring out just what it takes to hack it in even the lowest of levels of pro ball. His strengths include a special knack for throwing strikes and picking corners to get ahead of opponents, where he struggles to finish them off.
This clean cut Georgia Peach, nicknamed "Country Breakfast", catapulted himself up the draft boards when he showed flashes of finishing ability in his final showcase, striking out 11 over 6.1 innings of work, allowing 3 hits and walking none. En route to a win, he closed the chapter on showcase ball, pitching to a tune of 0 ER, 6 H, 3 BB, 14 and K over 12.1 innings.
Will our protagonist have what it takes? Will he wilt away, softly, into nothingness like so many other draftees? Will he grow his hair and mustache out again? Will he need Tommy John surgery like 65% of all ballplayers? There's only one way to find out....
Tainter Jainter
Tainter is the stuff of legends. He's manned the hot corner and roamed center field in careers featuring ballets of raw power, blazing speed, and lightning quick reflexes. He has won triple crowns and MVPs while setting MLB single season records across the board of offensive ability. Never one to disappoint, Jainter's prowess also extends to the mound: Tainter's most recent campaign- a closing career- was nothing short of electric, notching the most saves in a single season and career across the span of more than a decade of brilliance, riding a sub 1.3 ERA, 0.8 WHIP, and 18 K/9 into the Hall of Fame.
In 2019, Tainter will have to claw his way from the southern comfort of rural Georgia through the hard knock life of minor league ball, en route to the big stage of LA alongside Mike Trout. You see, Jainter, SP, was selected by the Angels in the 17th round of the 2019 draft at 523rd overall. A project, Tainter's challenge will be figuring out just what it takes to hack it in even the lowest of levels of pro ball. His strengths include a special knack for throwing strikes and picking corners to get ahead of opponents, where he struggles to finish them off.
This clean cut Georgia Peach, nicknamed "Country Breakfast", catapulted himself up the draft boards when he showed flashes of finishing ability in his final showcase, striking out 11 over 6.1 innings of work, allowing 3 hits and walking none. En route to a win, he closed the chapter on showcase ball, pitching to a tune of 0 ER, 6 H, 3 BB, 14 and K over 12.1 innings.
Will our protagonist have what it takes? Will he wilt away, softly, into nothingness like so many other draftees? Will he grow his hair and mustache out again? Will he need Tommy John surgery like 65% of all ballplayers? There's only one way to find out....
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