KallioWeHardlyKnewYe
Hey! We won!
- May 30, 2003
- 15,540
- 3,394
Punch-Drunk Love (1998) Directed by Carl Robert Mexican
I regret that there is only one of me and that I am basically unilingual. I wish there were at least four of me and that each one spoke seven different languages because one person writing in one language is grossly insufficient to condemn this awful, terrible, misguided movie. Let’s divide this review into what I like and what I hate about this movie.
HATE
This utterly charmless doofus of a central character
Sandler’s one and a sixteenth (the anger bits) note performance
Adam Sandler’s mother and father for having him
The physician and nurses who assisted at his birth
The teachers and doctors who taught the physicians and nurses how to deliver babies
The blank wall, dreary cinematography
The morose mise en scene
Paul Thomas Anderson for being Paul Thomas Anderson (Phantom Thread excepted)
Everyone who encouraged PTA not to become an accountant
The thought that a seemingly intelligent, normal woman could have been attracted to this imbecile
The stupid sub-plot about the sex worker
The fact that his business partner doesn’t seem to know him
The seven ******* sisters
Especially the lead sister who overacts so badly it made my brain implode
The often manipulative camera work
The pathetic background music
The witless, pointless nature of the whole enterprise.
In addition, I hated the popcorn that I had at the movie. I hated the flimsy paper bag that it came in. I hated the watered-down coke I continuously gagged on while trying to prevent myself from ripping down the movie screen with my bare hands.
I could go on, but you catch the drift…..
Like
The one shot of dumb ass walking through the open air Honolulu airport (all Hawaiian airports, that I know of anyway, are open air). Why? Because it reminded me how good that air feels, man. Hawaiian air on your skin is like Lafite Rothschild of your tongue, only it’s free.
Totally unnecessary and possibly impolite aside: Every one of you Americans out there who don’t live in Hawaii is certifiably bat-**** crazy. What is the matter with you?
…..but I digress.
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If there is a Hell, Punch-Drunk Love would be playing there on a continuous basis.
Now THAT is a review.