LORD DAVID the FIRST bestowed his imperial wisdom on the subject( not to be confused with us his "subjects") by stating that he would schedule anyone to play anywhere all the teams had to do was tell him they wanted to play each other. But added that he didn't understand why we would want to give up a "rivalry game ", versus a team we see more than we see our own mother and father, to play a team from out east.
LORD DAVE: And so said we shall consult the book of scheduling
EAST COAST TEAM OWNERS: Scheduling, Chapter Two, Verses Nine to Twenty-One. "And Lord dave raised the schedule up on high saying, 'Oh, Lord, bless this thy schedule that with it thou mayest blow thy enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large --"
LORD DAVE: Skip a bit, Brother.
EAST COAST TEAM OWNERS: "And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pen. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then those teams within the count of three shall throw thy Holy Schedule of Springfield towards thou non east coast teams, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.'"
LORD DAVE: Amen.
ALL: Amen.
LORD DAVE: Right! One... two... five!
SIR CRUNCH: Three sir.
LORD DAVE: Three!
And this the schedule of Lord dave rained terror and apathy upon the teams not in the northeast portion of the lands, banishing them to forever play only the teams that the eastern that the northeastern teams are afraid to play.
