Welcome back to a very special Playoff edition of "Who Is That Player?" Today we profile that famous Golden Knight,
Mark Stone.
Those of you who mainly follow the NHL regular season may be forgiven for being unfamiliar with his game. Stone is considered a
Gold-Tier Unlock who becomes available upon qualification for the playoffs.
But that's not where the Mark Stone story begins. Oh no. Stone, a native of Winnipeg, came up through the Brandon Wheat Kings program where he was a teammate for three seasons of none other than THE Scott Glennie. Many say Glennie taught Stone all he knew, leaving himself drained of all hockey-playing ability.
Pictured: The remaining shell of Scott Glennie
Drafted by Ottawa, Stone was considered a perennial "most underrated" candidate toiling away in obscurity. However the Senators decided to bestow a gift upon the hockey world by liberating Stone to the bright neon lights of Las Vegas. In return Ottawa received absolutely nothing, fulfilling GM Pierre Dorion's goals for the team.
Stone's arrival at the International wing of Harry Reid Airport was a spectacle to behold and foretold the dizzying heights he would reach with the Knights:
Surrounded by the dearly gathered showgirls, glittering hangers-on, and for some reason a snake, Stone vowed to turn around the fortunes of this long-suffering franchise, often referred to as the "Unluckiest Team in Las Vegas Professional Sports History".
It wouldn't be an easy road though, as the exertion of carrying a team of Misfits took a toll on Stone's back. Heading to LTIR in February 2022, Stone would bide his time, trying out each Strip mall walk-in chiropractor in Clark County.
Any relief would prove short-lived and Stone would again find himself on IR next year, this time opting for the uncertainty of back surgery. As fortune would have it, the procedure could not have been better timed and Lady Luck herself smiled upon the Captain allowing him to return in time for Game 1 of the Playoffs.
The road to the Cup is a treacherous one and littered with villains such as Jamie Benn of the Dallas Stars who tried to exploit Stone's critical weakness with a hit-job reminiscent of days Mob controlled rat-pack Las Vegas.
Unmitigated violence like this hadn't plagued the NHL since the infamous 2004 Steve Moore-Todd Bertuzzi incident. Controversy followed with an infamous press conference called by Benn that would only serve to fan the flames. Said Benn:
Yeah. *sniff* We got a report that he'd had a procedure done on his back. It was up on the whiteboard. We all put bounties on who could break the most vertebrae. *sniff* Let's just say I'm going to be coming out ahead after paying the league's fine.
Not one to be deterred by craven underhanded tactics, Stone would bravely fight through the destruction of his spine to play 18:50 of icetime that night. With this miracle verily performed Vegas would go on to vanquish the Stars and claim their 1st Stanley Cup as a team of shining destiny.
Although he can be forgiven for briefly forgetting his frail shell in this moment of jubilation, Stone's body would be left shattered by lifting the cripplingly heavy Cup. In a chain reaction that left doctors stunned, Stone's spleen absorbed all of the negative energy incurred by the contracts given out by General Manager Kelly McCrimmon resulting in devastating lacerations.
Not to take such news lying down, Stone got to work mentally commanding his spleen to heal so he could lead the Knights' championship defense:
"I've never seen anything like it", said Golden Knights' Head Athletic Trainer Kyle Moore. "Mark is so incredibly dedicated. He comes in each morning and works on his spleen in our hyperbaric chamber and ice tanks. He's so in tune with his body he can give the doctors a percentage status of his progress. We're on track for 100% spleen integrity by April 22nd barring any setbacks."
Cleared by himself to return for the playoffs, Stone will muster all of his remaining courage to lace up the skates one more time. Players don't even get paid their salary during the playoffs which only speaks to Mark's love of the game.
Stone's healing aura is so strong it even has Area of Effect properties that extended to his teammates Alex Pietrangelo, Will Carrier, Chandler Stephenson, Anthony Mantha, and Noah Hanifin who have all been cured of their various aliments along with improved complexion.
In a cruel twist of fate, his glorious golden VeeGeeKays will be forced to faceoff against the evil Dallas Stars again in Round 1 who we can only imagine are drawing up plans as we speak to attack his internal organs (the only way they can win).
Keep your head up Mark and fight on. I have a great feeling about your back-to-back campaign.
This has been, "Who Is That Player -
Playoff Edition"
