OT: OT Thread Part 6: still got a new name faster than Seattle's team

[soothsayer]

My reaction when I've been waiting to get political and Bryan tells posters to behave while he has to step away from the board for a bit:

JK

 

[bellagiobob]

 

[GretzkytoKurri9917]

Great stuff.

 

[bellagiobob]

 

[TheUltimateOiler]

I had my girlfriend's brother come into my home yesterday. He is a parking enforcement officer names [MOD EDIT]. It was during lunch hour and I wanted to put things behind us because we never got along but I have been dating his sister for 4 years.

He quickly escalated to violence.
He punched me, shoved me and slammed me in the door. He shove humorous times and called me names; homophobic and degrading names. I haven't been bullies since high school and I don't know what to do.

I recently submitted a request on 311 to have him investigated. What do I do guys ?

 

[Sensmileletsgo]

I would suggest get your revenge by banging his sister but it appears you’re already doing that.

Calling 311 and reporting the incident to the police is probably the most appropriate thing to do. What is your girlfriends take on all this?

 

[soothsayer]

I had my girlfriend's brother come into my home yesterday. He is a parking enforcement officer names [MOD EDIT]. It was during lunch hour and I wanted to put things behind us because we never got along but I have been dating his sister for 4 years.

He quickly escalated to violence.
He punched me, shoved me and slammed me in the door. He shove humorous times and called me names; homophobic and degrading names. I haven't been bullies since high school and I don't know what to do.

I recently submitted a request on 311 to have him investigated. What do I do guys ?

You have recourse to the law in this case. He assaulted you, so you could make a criminal complaint. That would be a judgement call on your part. On one hand, unilateral acts of violence are cowardly and should be dealt with accordingly; on the other hand, getting the police involved would almost certainly escalate the tension and make reconciliation even more difficult or unlikely, if you care about that at this point.

 

[booyakasha]

I had my girlfriend's brother come into my home yesterday. He is a parking enforcement officer names [MOD EDIT]. It was during lunch hour and I wanted to put things behind us because we never got along but I have been dating his sister for 4 years.

He quickly escalated to violence.
He punched me, shoved me and slammed me in the door. He shove humorous times and called me names; homophobic and degrading names. I haven't been bullies since high school and I don't know what to do.

I recently submitted a request on 311 to have him investigated. What do I do guys ?

Don't invite him over anymore.

 

[Delicious Pancakes]

I had my girlfriend's brother come into my home yesterday. He is a parking enforcement officer names [MOD EDIT]. It was during lunch hour and I wanted to put things behind us because we never got along but I have been dating his sister for 4 years.

He quickly escalated to violence.
He punched me, shoved me and slammed me in the door. He shove humorous times and called me names; homophobic and degrading names. I haven't been bullies since high school and I don't know what to do.

I recently submitted a request on 311 to have him investigated. What do I do guys ?

You need to stand up for yourself in a way that let's him know that what he did will not be tolerated. You can't tolerate that kind of abuse. Get the police involved and charge him with assault. You can always drop the charges later. What you're describing is a criminal offense. Talk to the police about getting a restraining order, they'll explain the process to you.

What does your girlfriend think about this? Is it something she tolerates? Because if so then that's a concern as well.

You may also wish to see a counselor/therapist if you're having emotional/trauma responses to this incident or past bullying to help you stand up for yourself. There are usually free counseling services in most municipalities. You can ask 311 about that or ask at your doctor's office.

Do you have support from your family and friends? Make sure to talk about it with those close to you to help you through it. Don't shut down and keep it to yourself because it will just get worse.

Bottom line is you can't have this guy in your life if he's your girlfriend's brother or not. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. Take care of yourself, you have to have your own back in these types of situations. In the meantime don't be around this guy without a friend to act as a witness.

Also, if this guy is/has been violent towards you he's probably been violent towards others as well. You will be doing the rest of society a service by holding him accountable for his actions.

 

[bellagiobob]

 

[Bryanbryoil]

I had my girlfriend's brother come into my home yesterday. He is a parking enforcement officer names [MOD EDIT]. It was during lunch hour and I wanted to put things behind us because we never got along but I have been dating his sister for 4 years.

He quickly escalated to violence.
He punched me, shoved me and slammed me in the door. He shove humorous times and called me names; homophobic and degrading names. I haven't been bullies since high school and I don't know what to do.

I recently submitted a request on 311 to have him investigated. What do I do guys ?

How did this turn violent? Were you guys talking smack to each other? Did he just start being a prick and then turned it up to 11? Did you get hurt? Calling the cops on "family" can lead to problems with the in laws and maybe even your GF if he goes to jail or loses his job for instance. I would maybe recommend that you say that family fights sometimes but you really care for his sister and t5hat you aren't going anywhere so he needs to deal with it. Say that you will let this incident slide, but if it happens again you will prosecute to the fullest extent of the law because you are no one's punching bag and won't put up with that shit. If that leads to violence again then f*** him, prosecute away.

 

[Bryanbryoil]

Get the police involved and charge him with assault. You can always drop the charges later.

I am not sure how the law works up there but here if there is an issue of domestic violence I believe that even if the party decides to drop charges that the charges can still be brought forward. My concern would be him alienating his future in laws. If they are all assholes except his GF, then f*** it, prosecute or at least get a restraining order or something.

 

[Delicious Pancakes]

I am not sure how the law works up there but here if there is an issue of domestic violence I believe that even if the party decides to drop charges that the charges can still be brought forward. My concern would be him alienating his future in laws. If they are all assholes except his GF, then f*** it, prosecute or at least get a restraining order or something.

That sounds similar to Alberta. It would depend on the particulars of the situation and the officers involved.
Assault | Calgary Legal Guidance

Should be able to get free legal advice through the Law Society of Alberta.
Contact Us – Law Society of Alberta

 

[TheUltimateOiler]

To reply to you guys.

We haven't got along and I wanted to bury the hatchet. I apologized if I hurt his feelings at any point and he get mentally abusing me.
He ended up pushing me hard constantly, I tried to push him away but he was persistent.
He ended up grabbing my shirt and slamming me into the front door and calling me a loser, a Homophobic Slur and yeah. I got scared but angry, I said you are a loser Too because you are 31 and your mom pays for your insurance.
He slammed me again and punched me in the arm. He ended up backing off when his mom appeared crying. I settled down and I tried talking again and he continued with the mental abuse. I asked him not to push me anymore and he said, " what are you gonna do about it ? " Starting pushing me again.

I said jackass comments because I was angry but he didn't have the right to do that to me.

His name is [MOD EDIT]. He works as a parking ticket enforcement officer. He was on duty at the time, just on the lunch break.

 

[Bryanbryoil]

To reply to you guys.

We haven't got along and I wanted to bury the hatchet. I apologized if I hurt his feelings at any point and he get mentally abusing me.
He ended up pushing me hard constantly, I tried to push him away but he was persistent.
He ended up grabbing my shirt and slamming me into the front door and calling me a loser, a Homophobic Slur and yeah. I got scared but angry, I said you are a loser Too because you are 31 and your mom pays for your insurance.
He slammed me again and punched me in the arm. He ended up backing off when his mom appeared crying. I settled down and I tried talking again and he continued with the mental abuse. I asked him not to push me anymore and he said, " what are you gonna do about it ? " Starting pushing me again.

I said jackass comments because I was angry but he didn't have the right to do that to me.

His name is [MOD EDIT]. He works as a parking ticket enforcement officer. He was on duty at the time, just on the lunch break.

First of all stop saying the guys name on here. That type of crap shouldn't be broadcast on the internet IMO.

Secondly it doesn't sound like it was overly bad and is just a guy that is being a real d-bag. His mom rightfully tried to break it up. My advice would be to let it be for the sake of your "in laws" and GF. If he does worse next time that is different. He probably will get his one day when he pops off to the wrong person, when it happens laugh at it.

 

[bellagiobob]

 

[Senor Catface]

For those who might remember this educational program tool.

 

[TheUltimateOiler]

First of all stop saying the guys name on here. That type of crap shouldn't be broadcast on the internet IMO.

Secondly it doesn't sound like it was overly bad and is just a guy that is being a real d-bag. His mom rightfully tried to break it up. My advice would be to let it be for the sake of your "in laws" and GF. If he does worse next time that is different. He probably will get his one day when he pops off to the wrong person, when it happens laugh at it.

I agree, it could have been worse. I'm still going to make a report of it. That way, they have a reference to fall back to in the future.

 

[5 Mins 4 Ftg]

 

[Fixed to Ruin]

Having witnessed a successful whale disposal, what they do now is they pack it with dynamite then tow the carcass way out to sea then blow it up there. That way, the carcass sinks to the bottom and the larger chunks sink or float away.

 

[Drivesaitl]

First of all stop saying the guys name on here. That type of crap shouldn't be broadcast on the internet IMO.

Secondly it doesn't sound like it was overly bad and is just a guy that is being a real d-bag. His mom rightfully tried to break it up. My advice would be to let it be for the sake of your "in laws" and GF. If he does worse next time that is different. He probably will get his one day when he pops off to the wrong person, when it happens laugh at it.

Thanks for deleting the name twice Bryan, and the name shouldn't be mentioned by the poster once. That indeed, to me signifies the problem as well as in the last description its quite clear that both were involved in the verbal escalation and that the OP wanting to name the person here twice is indicative of a feud that is being blown up instead of resolved. Calling police would likely do the same. These are escalations.

@TheUltimateOiler

What the situation takes is both people, or one, legitimately trying to make peace, or change things. I mean it got to the extent where two males were escalating and two females, mother, daughter crying about it. THAT is abusive, and thats on the part of BOTH males to be escalated to that extent.

No matter how you feel you can't be calling the GF brother a loser and expect anything to change. It won't. I'm sure he thinks you're a loser (I don't mean anything harsh with that, just saying) and if I hazard a guess here this is an older brother in a no father family that is acting protectively and out of his own concern at what his younger sisters life is, or will be with you. The older bro sounds like he's "parentified" in that regard and doing that part in the absence of a father figure. Its not an easy role, but it might actually come from a good place. By knowing that you might be able to appeal to that by showing that you are looking after his sister, kind to her, kind to the mom and the bro etc, and that you are part of the family instead of maybe appearing opposed to it. I sense you've made a lot of efforts but that you get caught in your own anger when things slide sideways. The best thing you can do in a situation like this is up your game, improve yourself, in anyway you can. Be more presentable, maybe expand your work horizons, potential, strive to be the best you can be, learn new skills, cut out anything in your life that might be harmful etc. Maybe you even need to cut out certain friends that are deemed harmful.

But without realizing it, and its important that you do, when you want to name somebody online that is strong indication that you don't understand confidentiality, limits, boundaries. Physical aspect of not attempting to shame somebody in name online is harmful behavior and if I was the bro I would be INCENSED that you did that. You probably are talking to other people too about this, and outing the family stuff instead of trying to work it out with mutual respect and confidentiality and you probably triangulate (look it up). That kind of behavior generally escalates things.

Probably you shouldn't have gone online in talking about this, but you have so I and others responded.

 

[yukoner88]

it was a Whale of a problem.......

my fav part is the reporter explaining the logic for placing the dynamite on the town side of the whale

 

[5 Mins 4 Ftg]

 

[McDNicks17]

I was curious what his numbers looked like and was quickly reminded about how many awesome hipster kid names you guys have out West.

Just skimming through the top 50 or so scorers, there's a Kaelan, Chance, Loch, Chaz, Keilan, Chrystopher, Jaxon, Chantz(my personal favorite lol), Dayton, Kalem, Chasetan, Rock, Calvon, Montana, Taryn and Arik haha.

 

[Bryanbryoil]

Thanks for deleting the name twice Bryan, and the name shouldn't be mentioned by the poster once.

FWIW, it wasn't me, another mod or mods got to them before I saw them. Good on him/them for jumping on that quickly.

I agree, it could have been worse. I'm still going to make a report of it. That way, they have a reference to fall back to in the future.

It's your life, you do what you feel you need to as you will have to live with the decision not any of us without skin in the game.