OT: Jets Lounge: This place is even weirder

[nobody important]

Just wanna chime in and say that Baltimore sucks. That is all.

Had some bad crab cakes?

 

[StronGeer]

Had some bad crab cakes?

With his attitude they should be called "crabby cakes".

 

[Romang67]

Had some bad crab cakes?

When the best thing to come out of your city are insects that don't even live IN your city, chances are that your city sucks.

 

[Hot Water Bottle]

Need a magic spell

Hello there, I'm actually an Islanders fan but I wanted to get the opinion of neutral observers so I thought I'd post this here.

My sister started playing with a Ouija board and made contact with some kind of creepy bearded guru who lives in the backwoods of Quebec and is a Montreal Canadiens fanatic. After they communicated for a while using the Ouija board, she abandoned her family to hit the road and go meet him.

She is now one of his followers. They all live in a cult-like lifestyle in complete submission to this guru on a farm and he made them turn over all of their wordly possessions to him. They spend all day reciting Montreal Canadiens statistics in a trancelike state and are only allowed to wear Canadiens jerseys, so they are brainwashed beyond hope. She also only speaks French now although she never did before.

They are now planning to all move out to a private island off the west coast of Africa so they can devote all their waking hours to worshipping the Montreal Canadiens without any interference from the outside world. I'm afraid this will end in some kind of horrible mass death.

So evil supernatural forces are clearly at work here. Does anyone know a magic spell to defeat the evil guru and break the trance of his followers? Maybe grind up some plants and do a chant or something?

Thank you so much!

 

[StronGeer]

Well that's different.

 

[nobody important]

When the best thing to come out of your city are insects that don't even live IN your city, chances are that your city sucks.

I'm completely lost now. Why not just share what has happened in Baltimore to trigger such disdain.

 

[sully1410]

Homicide life on the street. NYPD Blue. Hillstreet blues (back in the day). Like SVU as well.

Sipowicz was my all time favorite character. Dennis Franz crushed that part.

That guy was such an *******...but he was awesome at it.

 

[EastRiver]

I didn't think it was possible to go OT in the OT thread but I think that post may have done it.

 

[Hot Water Bottle]

I didn't think it was possible to go OT in the OT thread but I think that post may have done it.

If you're talking about me, I was sort of hoping you'd give me instructions on how to do a magic spell. Should I play a heavy metal record backward or something? Is there an old peasant woman you can ask?

 

[StronGeer]

If you're talking about me, I was sort of hoping you'd give me instructions on how to do a magic spell. Should I play a heavy metal record backward or something? Is there an old peasant woman you can ask?

He who would cross the bridge of death must answer me these questions three... err the other side he see.

 

[Mathmew Purrrr Oh]

If you're talking about me, I was sort of hoping you'd give me instructions on how to do a magic spell. Should I play a heavy metal record backward or something? Is there an old peasant woman you can ask?

burning an effigy of Michel Therrien that contains a lock of his hair might be worth a shot.

 

[flyingkiwi]

This thread title is so apt right now good lord. Is it o October yet?

 

[Woodhouse]

Hello there, I'm actually an Islanders fan but I wanted to get the opinion of neutral observers so I thought I'd post this here.

My sister started playing with a Ouija board and made contact with some kind of creepy bearded guru who lives in the backwoods of Quebec and is a Montreal Canadiens fanatic. After they communicated for a while using the Ouija board, she abandoned her family to hit the road and go meet him.

She is now one of his followers. They all live in a cult-like lifestyle in complete submission to this guru on a farm and he made them turn over all of their wordly possessions to him. They spend all day reciting Montreal Canadiens statistics in a trancelike state and are only allowed to wear Canadiens jerseys, so they are brainwashed beyond hope. She also only speaks French now although she never did before.

They are now planning to all move out to a private island off the west coast of Africa so they can devote all their waking hours to worshipping the Montreal Canadiens without any interference from the outside world. I'm afraid this will end in some kind of horrible mass death.

So evil supernatural forces are clearly at work here. Does anyone know a magic spell to defeat the evil guru and break the trance of his followers? Maybe grind up some plants and do a chant or something?

Thank you so much!

No herbs or spells are necessary. You simply need to travel to a set of crossroads with the following items: a bone from a black cat, a handful of graveyard dirt, a picture of yourself, a jewelry box, a shovel, and your soul. Seal the first three items in the box and then use the shovel to bury the box at the center of the crossroads. If you've followed these instructions correctly, you'll summon a demon. Demons are tasked with acquiring souls for Hell and you'll get the chance to barter your soul to save your sister from the creepy bearded guru. Easy peasy, seal the terms with a kiss and your crisis is averted.

 

[GJF]

What is happening here

 

[mcpw]

It's August.

 

[Shakey Rustie]

Dammit Romang, you had one job, one frickin job, and that was to be the weirdest poster on here, and you go and let some user from another team come in here and steal the show?!

 

[GJF]

Dammit Romang, you had one job, one frickin job, and that was to be the weirdest poster on here, and you go and let some user from another team come in here and steal the show?!

nice one

 

[mcpw]

That's right, we could totally use some weird Romang puns now.
so that the mods finally close this train wreck thread and open up a new one

 

[Romang67]

HFHabs operates out of West Africa?

Huh. Who knew?

The French part is worrisome though. She should be poutine an asylum.

 

[Hot Water Bottle]

No herbs or spells are necessary. You simply need to travel to a set of crossroads with the following items: a bone from a black cat, a handful of graveyard dirt, a picture of yourself, a jewelry box, a shovel, and your soul. Seal the first three items in the box and then use the shovel to bury the box at the center of the crossroads. If you've followed these instructions correctly, you'll summon a demon. Demons are tasked with acquiring souls for Hell and you'll get the chance to barter your soul to save your sister from the creepy bearded guru. Easy peasy, seal the terms with a kiss and your crisis is averted.

Wow, this is great information!!

Early this morning I got all the ingredients you asked for. Luckily I know someone who works in a veterinarian's office and was able to get the bone of a cat who had just been euthanized to complete the instructions.

So I did PRECISELY what you said at a crossroads I know just outside Oneonta, N.Y. where strange things have been known to happen. Just as you predicted, a demon then rose from the ground and greeted me. I think his last name was Voorhees. He had a Dutch accent and was wearing knee-high boots, a lace collar and other antique looking clothes.

After some polite conversation I invited the demon to a mushroom picking contest (offering my soul if he won, or his help to defeat the guru if I won), which was very stressful but I just barely won in the end because I've been doing it for years and know some tricks. He told me that the Canadiens guru is a fellow demon who he defeated before at Stonehenge about 3500 years ago, then he bowed and disappeared. So now I'll wait and see what happens.

Thank you so much, you really went beyond the call of duty and this just may help to save hundreds of lives!! If you don't mind my asking, where did you learn these skills?

 

[buggs]

He who would cross the bridge of death must answer me these questions three... err the other side he see.

 

[sully1410]

Wow, this is great information!!

Early this morning I got all the ingredients you asked for. Luckily I know someone who works in a veterinarian's office and was able to get the bone of a cat who had just been euthanized to complete the instructions.

So I did PRECISELY what you said at a crossroads I know just outside Oneonta, N.Y. where strange things have been known to happen. Just as you predicted, a demon then rose from the ground and greeted me. I think his last name was Voorhees. He had a Dutch accent and was wearing knee-high boots, a lace collar and other antique looking clothes.

After some polite conversation I invited the demon to a mushroom picking contest (offering my soul if he won, or his help to defeat the guru if I won), which was very stressful but I just barely won in the end because I've been doing it for years and know some tricks. He told me that the Canadiens guru is a fellow demon who he defeated before at Stonehenge about 3500 years ago, then he bowed and disappeared. So now I'll wait and see what happens.

Thank you so much, you really went beyond the call of duty and this just may help to save hundreds of lives!! If you don't mind my asking, where did you learn these skills?

He watched the second season of Supernatural. And yea I bet you have experience picking ****ing mushrooms...

 

[CorgisPer60]

Squeee! My new computer is on the Purolator truck for delivery.

 

[Hot Water Bottle]

He watched the second season of Supernatural. And yea I bet you have experience picking ****ing mushrooms...

Whatever it was, it got great results. My sister just returned to her home surrounded by butterflies and singing birds. Now everything is right with the world once again and there is a beautiful rainbow overhead. She said that she has no memory of the last year at all, she just woke up today and found herself surrounded by people in Canadiens jerseys who all felt the same way and had no idea how they got there.

 

[sully1410]

Whatever it was, it got great results. My sister just returned to her home surrounded by butterflies and singing birds. Now everything is right with the world once again and there is a beautiful rainbow overhead. She said that she has no memory of the last year at all, she just woke up today and found herself surrounded by people in Canadiens jerseys who all felt the same way and had no idea how they got there.

so maybe she has experience picking mushrooms too then...