Is this shady or normal for hockey parents?

[Yukon Joe]

I dont think so. Let's just say the effort this kid displays is only when he has the puck. Was the only kid on the team "benched" for a lack of effort. Our coach doesnt really believe in benchings for 10U and wont bench a kid that age for mistakes. But one game where I was doing to scoreboard, he pulled him mid shift, while the other team was rushing up the ice. Said to him, "if you want to stand there and watch the game, you can do so from here." He scores alot against bad teams and beginner goalies. In our division, we had 3 other good teams all who had good goalies and 2 that started slow and improved dramatically. Against the 3 other good teams and the second time we played the other 2, he did nothing. But scored 3-5 against the weaker teams and beginner goalies. He has openly said, "I dont really like playing defense" and that "defense is not his job, he is a forward." Father condones it.

It's tough at that age. I agree that you shouldn't be benching kids who are 8-9 years old, but yes you're not going to get any better with those kinds of habits. And if the parents are the kind of who don't really know hockey and are just going to celebrate goals you can understand why the kid is that way.

But I mean that's part of the reason why in Alberta at least U9 hockey is half-ice, with no offsides and no positions. Most important thing is fundamentals of learning how to skate and handle the puck.

Either this kid will growq older, learn they need to do better to succeed in hockey - or they won't.

 

[Mr Jiggyfly]

Interesting. I have learned something today.

So in the US, "house league" means you only play at literally one rink, while "travel hockey" means you play at different rinks, but all within your city or urban area.

In Canada, all hockey is "travel hockey" then.

My nephew who is Canadian, played rep hockey in Ontario until he was 16, then he got hurt and decided it wasn’t worth it anymore and he played house league.

The house league was at the same rink every game and the kids were just ok.

A lot of parents were upset my nephew was playing house because no one could get the puck off him, but this was in Petawawa, so it was basically rep hockey or house.

I dont think so. Let's just say the effort this kid displays is only when he has the puck. Was the only kid on the team "benched" for a lack of effort. Our coach doesnt really believe in benchings for 10U and wont bench a kid that age for mistakes. But one game where I was doing to scoreboard, he pulled him mid shift, while the other team was rushing up the ice. Said to him, "if you want to stand there and watch the game, you can do so from here." He scores alot against bad teams and beginner goalies. In our division, we had 3 other good teams all who had good goalies and 2 that started slow and improved dramatically. Against the 3 other good teams and the second time we played the other 2, he did nothing. But scored 3-5 against the weaker teams and beginner goalies. He has openly said, "I dont really like playing defense" and that "defense is not his job, he is a forward." Father condones it.

BUT, there is a team in Jersey that is known for "If your check clears, we will put your kid on whatever team you want." He went there, they put him on AA. But, he will be lucky to register a shot on goal at that level, let alone actually score. Have hear that about this team from 4 different people who dont know each other, who have older kids so have been involved with the youth hockey here a lot longer than I have.

At least the coach put him in his place.

Let me guess, his dad tells him he’s too good to play D?

Being the goalie’s dad, I’m sure you are thrilled about that shit.

Last season my daughter’s team had a girl who played AAA boys and she looked sick in tryouts and practices before the first game.

I couldn’t believe her other org didn’t want her back…

Then I quickly found out why - she was literally the most selfish player I ever saw.

She never passed once the real games started. I don’t mean she was greedy and a puck hog that occasionally passed, she never shared the puck even once.

The coach wouldn’t bench her, the boys on the team told her she needed to pass and she just laughed.

At the CCM invitational, the coach knocked on the door of the locker room and came in and asked this girl to play D because one of their D went down.

My daughter was the only other girl on the team so she was in the locker room when it went down and told me this girl lost it.

Said she isn’t a D, called her dad and he told her to leave.

So she walked out and screwed the team over.

That same day she was kicked off the team.
Her dad is insane so… I’m sure it comes from him.

 

[Yukon Joe]

My nephew who is Canadian, played rep hockey in Ontario until he was 16, then he got hurt and decided it wasn’t worth it anymore and he played house league.

The house league was at the same rink every game and the kids were just ok.

A lot of parents were upset my nephew was playing house because no one could get the puck off him, but this was in Petawawa, so it was basically rep hockey or house.

Maybe it's just a function of Petawawa itself, which is a fairly small town / a military town?

Or maybe things are just different in Ontario. I'm basing my comments primarily from my experience as a hockey parent in Edmonton, but have talked with other hockey parents through western Canada.

That same day she was kicked off the team.
Her dad is insane so… I’m sure it comes from him.

It always comes down to parents, doesn't it? The one or two extremely selfish players I've seen always had parents who thought their kid could do no wrong out on the ice.

 

[Mr Jiggyfly]

Maybe it's just a function of Petawawa itself, which is a fairly small town / a military town?

Or maybe things are just different in Ontario. I'm basing my comments primarily from my experience as a hockey parent in Edmonton, but have talked with other hockey parents through western Canada.




It always comes down to parents, doesn't it? The one or two extremely selfish players I've seen always had parents who thought their kid could do no wrong out on the ice.

Ya it’s a small town with like 30k population.

They have the community rink, The Silver Dart and then a rink up on the military base, but can’t recall the name.

There are several more rinks in the Laurentian Valley, but I’ve lost track since my nephew stopped playing 6-7 yrs ago.

They also have a ton of outdoor rinks with winter house leagues that are community run, but from what I recall there isn’t any travel involved.

I’ll have to ask my wife who grew up there, she will know better.

 

[Yukon Joe]

They also have a ton of outdoor rinks with winter house leagues that are community run, but from what I recall there isn’t any travel involved.

I’ll have to ask my wife who grew up there, she will know better.

So I know from talking with my dad and older cousins, back in the day hockey was played outside.

But I'm closing in on 50, and even in my own minor hockey experience hockey was only inside. For my kids outdoor ice has been an extra - never a regular part of hockey.

 

[Slats432]

I played minor hockey outdoors as a kid in NW Ontario. I remember it fondly other than when it was -15 or so. Practices and games were cancelled at -20.

 

[Minnesota Knudsens]

Interesting. I have learned something today.

So in the US, "house league" means you only play at literally one rink, while "travel hockey" means you play at different rinks, but all within your city or urban area.

In Canada, all hockey is "travel hockey" then.

I guess in Southern Ontario, you can live in one place and yet have a ton of cities within 45 minutes. So someone who lives in Milton might play against several teams in Hamilton, Oakville, Paris, Guelph, Halton Hills, Burlington etc. All of these teams represent their own cities but you can drive to every one within an hour. Usually the AAA teams and the Select teams will play all year against the same associations. Only the tournaments will be different.

 

[Yukon Joe]

I played minor hockey outdoors as a kid in NW Ontario. I remember it fondly other than when it was -15 or so. Practices and games were cancelled at -20.

My oldest kid (the one who plays SSAC) - his first experience with skating was signing him up for skating lessons on the neighbourhood outdoor rink when he must have been about 4.

I don't think he actually ever made it out on the ice more than about 4 times that winter. Either it was below -20c, or it was above 0, both of which caused the skating lessons to be cancelled.

Since that year - coaches have sometimes scheduled additional outdoor fun practices, but it's never been a regular part of hockey.

 

[Yukon Joe]

I guess in Southern Ontario, you can live in one place and yet have a ton of cities within 45 minutes. So someone who lives in Milton might play against several teams in Hamilton, Oakville, Paris, Guelph, Halton Hills, Burlington etc. All of these teams represent their own cities but you can drive to every one within an hour. Usually the AAA teams and the Select teams will play all year against the same associations. Only the tournaments will be different.

So I guess in the prairies cities are just pretty far away. So my kids might play against West Edmtonton (Whitemud West), SE Edmonton (Millwoods), or against neighbouring communities like Sherwood Park or St Albert - but everything is within the greater Edmonton area. There's no such thing as ONLY playing within your local community.

 

[Minnesota Knudsens]

My nephew who is Canadian, played rep hockey in Ontario until he was 16, then he got hurt and decided it wasn’t worth it anymore and he played house league.

The house league was at the same rink every game and the kids were just ok.

A lot of parents were upset my nephew was playing house because no one could get the puck off him, but this was in Petawawa, so it was basically rep hockey or house.



At least the coach put him in his place.

Let me guess, his dad tells him he’s too good to play D?

Being the goalie’s dad, I’m sure you are thrilled about that shit.

Last season my daughter’s team had a girl who played AAA boys and she looked sick in tryouts and practices before the first game.

I couldn’t believe her other org didn’t want her back…

Then I quickly found out why - she was literally the most selfish player I ever saw.

She never passed once the real games started. I don’t mean she was greedy and a puck hog that occasionally passed, she never shared the puck even once.

The coach wouldn’t bench her, the boys on the team told her she needed to pass and she just laughed.

At the CCM invitational, the coach knocked on the door of the locker room and came in and asked this girl to play D because one of their D went down.

My daughter was the only other girl on the team so she was in the locker room when it went down and told me this girl lost it.

Said she isn’t a D, called her dad and he told her to leave.

So she walked out and screwed the team over.

That same day she was kicked off the team.
Her dad is insane so… I’m sure it comes from him.

I’ve seen this situation a bunch of times. A kid joins our association and everyone is buzzing because the kid is supposed to be crazy talented but for some reason got kicked off a high level team (different association). Turns out the kid is indeed very talented but never passes, and often the play dies on his stick because he refuses to make the right play. Often creates bad turnovers in the D zone foolishly trying to go end to end. In one case I recall, the kid also seemed like a bit of a locker room cancer, telling the kids that they needed to pass to him more and fighting with other players etc. My son didn’t like him, and literally, my son likes everyone.

 

[Yukon Joe]

I’ve seen this situation a bunch of times. A kid joins our association and everyone is buzzing because the kid is supposed to be crazy talented but for some reason got kicked off a high level team (different association). Turns out the kid is indeed very talented but never passes, and often the play dies on his stick because he refuses to make the right play. Often creates bad turnovers in the D zone foolishly trying to go end to end. In one case I recall, the kid also seemed like a bit of a locker room cancer, telling the kids that they needed to pass to him more and fighting with other players etc. My son didn’t like him, and literally, my son likes everyone.

I think any hockey parent, or hockey coach, can think of a kid like this. I know I definitely can think of a name or two.

It's frustrating because of course the kid does have talent! You can see how in their 8-13 year old brain it makes sense to never pass and try to just do an end-to-end-rush - because it works for them often enough. I've certainly also seen kids make the "right" pass to a less skilled player - who bobbles the pass and it turns into a rush the other way. So why wouldn't you try to do it yourself?

Except of course the advantage to not being a child, and having experience, is you know that will only work for so long and if you don't work on your skills away form the puck your hockey career is going to come to a very abrupt end, and sooner than you think.


In coaching I primarily work with the defence. For the kids who like to rush the puck I tell them let's make a deal - I'll always let you rush the puck (some kids will refuse to play D if they can't be involved in the offence) but you absolutely have to be the first one back once you no longer have the puck. It... sort of works. I absolutely don't want to beat any creativity or fun out of a D's game at the ripe old age of 11, but playing a more responsible game would be a better result for the team.

 

[Minnesota Knudsens]

I think any hockey parent, or hockey coach, can think of a kid like this. I know I definitely can think of a name or two.

It's frustrating because of course the kid does have talent! You can see how in their 8-13 year old brain it makes sense to never pass and try to just do an end-to-end-rush - because it works for them often enough. I've certainly also seen kids make the "right" pass to a less skilled player - who bobbles the pass and it turns into a rush the other way. So why wouldn't you try to do it yourself?

Except of course the advantage to not being a child, and having experience, is you know that will only work for so long and if you don't work on your skills away form the puck your hockey career is going to come to a very abrupt end, and sooner than you think.


In coaching I primarily work with the defence. For the kids who like to rush the puck I tell them let's make a deal - I'll always let you rush the puck (some kids will refuse to play D if they can't be involved in the offence) but you absolutely have to be the first one back once you no longer have the puck. It... sort of works. I absolutely don't want to beat any creativity or fun out of a D's game at the ripe old age of 11, but playing a more responsible game would be a better result for the team.

This is funny because my son loves to rush the puck when he’s on D, but I try to tell him that there’s a better time to do that. If he’s deep in his own zone being pressured, that’s not the time. Could he sometimes pull it off? Sure, but even if the odds are 50/50, then half the time he’s giving up a prime scoring chance against.

However if he breaks up a play around his own blue line and sees nothing but space, I say go for it. Seriously he got really good at making the right decision. Perhaps one of the only times that he’s actually listened to me lol.

 

[Yukon Joe]

This is funny because my son loves to rush the puck when he’s on D, but I try to tell him that there’s a better time to do that. If he’s deep in his own zone being pressured, that’s not the time. Could he sometimes pull it off? Sure, but even if the odds are 50/50, then half the time he’s giving up a prime scoring chance against.

However if he breaks up a play around his own blue line and sees nothing but space, I say go for it. Seriously he got really good at making the right decision. Perhaps one of the only times that he’s actually listened to me lol.

So maybe it's just the age/skill level I'm working with but I'm rarely worried about the D trying to take the puck from deep in our zone up to the neutral zone. At least they're trying to keep possession! I'm much more worried about our D just throwing the puck up the ice - which almost always does turn into a scoring chance against.

It's more of a concern that even once they hit the neutral zone, rather than going for a pass that could turn into a prime scoring chance, the D continues to try and rush the puck into the other team's zone. And what I will absolutely talk to them about is, even if after losing control of the puck, they continue to much around in the offensive zone for a good long while. Some of our forwards did get pretty good at covering for defence, they really shouldn't have to cover for an extended period for a roving D-man.

 

[Mr Jiggyfly]

So I know from talking with my dad and older cousins, back in the day hockey was played outside.

But I'm closing in on 50, and even in my own minor hockey experience hockey was only inside. For my kids outdoor ice has been an extra - never a regular part of hockey.

Ya it was a culture shocked when I moved to Canada in my late 20s to be with my girlfriend, now my wife.

I couldn’t believe there were all these free outdoor rinks you just jump on and play shinny - and they even resurfaced the ice.

First weekend I moved to Canads I was on an outdoor rink a stone throw from our old apartment… I jumped on around 8 am and around 5 pm my wife came over and asked if I was ever coming back home.

There were at least 6-7 outdoor rinks all around us.

In my wife’s home town it was like an outdoor rink hockey Mecca

Those were great times and I spent a billion hours playing shinny until my daughter was born and no longer had the time.

I’ve seen this situation a bunch of times. A kid joins our association and everyone is buzzing because the kid is supposed to be crazy talented but for some reason got kicked off a high level team (different association). Turns out the kid is indeed very talented but never passes, and often the play dies on his stick because he refuses to make the right play. Often creates bad turnovers in the D zone foolishly trying to go end to end. In one case I recall, the kid also seemed like a bit of a locker room cancer, telling the kids that they needed to pass to him more and fighting with other players etc. My son didn’t like him, and literally, my son likes everyone.

I’ve played with and seen tons of these hot dog type kids and can’t stand them.

However, the AAA girl I was talking about above was shocking because in tryouts and practice she was making sick no look passes and all these other ridiculous passes no one else could do.

Then the first game it was like someone else took over her mind and she just blew by everyone and shot the puck… that’s literally all she did.

She lasted about ten games before the CCM Invitational incident where she got kicked off the team, and literally never even att a single pass.

It was like her teammates didn’t even exist. I’ve never seen anything like it before.

Her father was a f***ing lunatic - so I assume he was telling her she was too good for everyone on the team and passing was below her, because she was a special snowflake.

 

[patnyrnyg]

It's tough at that age. I agree that you shouldn't be benching kids who are 8-9 years old, but yes you're not going to get any better with those kinds of habits. And if the parents are the kind of who don't really know hockey and are just going to celebrate goals you can understand why the kid is that way.

But I mean that's part of the reason why in Alberta at least U9 hockey is half-ice, with no offsides and no positions. Most important thing is fundamentals of learning how to skate and handle the puck.

Either this kid will growq older, learn they need to do better to succeed in hockey - or they won't.

here, it is 8U, which is the same as U9 in Canada. 10U here is U11 up there. 8U also called Mites, and they are half-ice. Sometimes they will create an 8U full-ice, but the teams have to play under different names, have different coaches. Basically pretend they are a different organization. Since it is not USA hockey sanctioned, it doesnt violate rostering rules.

 

[patnyrnyg]

In another post, I mentioned the rinks. Almost all are in the suburbs. In NJ, there is at least 1 in every county, there are privately owned rinks as well and a few training centers. On Long Island, I can think of 7 off the top of my head I believe are open in Nassau County, and there might be a few more I just can't think of right now. In Suffolk, I know of 3, off the top of my head, but would not be shocked if there are more as we dont play out there. Same with the counties north of NYC and in Connecticut. Within the NYC limits, can only think of 6 rinks that have hockey. 1 in Staten Island, 2 in Brooklyn, 2 in Manhattan, 1 in Queens. I only know of 1 rink in the Bronx and I dont think they have an ice hockey program. I know of another rink in Staten Island, Manhattan, and Queens but they dont have hockey. There is also no "NYC" league here. The team in Staten Island play in the NJ league and the EJEPL. The teams in Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens play in the Hudson Valley League and/or the Long Island League and/or the AHF/EJEPL. The team in Staten Island will play non-league games against teams from the other boroughs or possibly in the AHF/EJEPL.

 

[patnyrnyg]

My nephew who is Canadian, played rep hockey in Ontario until he was 16, then he got hurt and decided it wasn’t worth it anymore and he played house league.

The house league was at the same rink every game and the kids were just ok.

A lot of parents were upset my nephew was playing house because no one could get the puck off him

It's tough at that age. I agree that you shouldn't be benching kids who are 8-9 years old, but yes you're not going to get any better with those kinds of habits. And if the parents are the kind of who don't really know hockey and are just going to celebrate goals you can understand why the kid is that way.

But I mean that's part of the reason why in Alberta at least U9 hockey is half-ice, with no offsides and no positions. Most important thing is fundamentals of learning how to skate and handle the puck.

Either this kid will growq older, learn they need to do better to succeed in hockey - or they won't.

At least the coach put him in his place.

Let me guess, his dad tells him he’s too good to play D?

Being the goalie’s dad, I’m sure you are thrilled about that shit.

Last season my daughter’s team had a girl who played AAA boys and she looked sick in tryouts and practices before the first game.

I couldn’t believe her other org didn’t want her back…

Then I quickly found out why - she was literally the most selfish player I ever saw.

She never passed once the real games started. I don’t mean she was greedy and a puck hog that occasionally passed, she never shared the puck even once.

The coach wouldn’t bench her, the boys on the team told her she needed to pass and she just laughed.

At the CCM invitational, the coach knocked on the door of the locker room and came in and asked this girl to play D because one of their D went down.

My daughter was the only other girl on the team so she was in the locker room when it went down and told me this girl lost it.

Said she isn’t a D, called her dad and he told her to leave.

So she walked out and screwed the team over.

That same day she was kicked off the team.
Her dad is insane so… I’m sure it comes from him.

With your nephew, we have had that before, but those kids are usually told they are not allowed to shoot.

As for that teammate, yeah she should get the boot. Around here, word of that would spread and most organizations will not want her. My nephew's team (also 10U) had a new girl join the organization. She was pretty good. Father said they had problems at their last team. Well, my brother quickly realized why. Attendance, not at practices, but at games. The family is religious, and she was missing games on Sunday to go to church. If that is how the family handles things, that is their business. BUT, if you are going to miss 1/2 the games (generally teams play 1 game on Saturday, 1 game on Sunday in most leagues around here), then you need to be upfront about it. There is a team not far from us that actually has a "Sabbath" team of mostly Orthodox Jewish players. They only schedule games on Sundays, but as a result they do not have time to play too many non-league games as they need the Sundays for league games. The father of the kid on my brother's team needs to find a team that only plays on saturdays. On our AA team, one kid had religion on Saturday mornings as it was the only time he could attend. Coaches knew for non-league games; he was going to miss Saturday morning games. League games, he would miss religion.

As far as the kid from my team, not really sure what the parents tell him. I know the father has said to other parents, "He is not a defensive player, he is an offensive player..." I am not sure if he tells him not to worry about D or what he does. Just to give you an idea, I remember 1 set of games and a few plays. One Sunday we had a non-league game. We had the puck in the O-zone and they chipped it out. Our dman recovered and was skating in neutral zone waiting for everyone to touch up. The other 2 forwards hauled ass back to get onsides, he casually skated and didnt even bend his knees. One of the other forwards yelled at him to hurry up. After, saw coach giving it to him on bench. Following weekend, we had a non-league on Saturday and non-league double header on Sunday. On Saturday, there was a play where they had the puck in deep. This player was in the slot, but all the way at the top of the circles. Standing with his feet together and holding his stick as if he was waiting in line for a drill and waiting his turn. They score and I hear another parent say, "What is (inset name) doing? He never even tries on D." Several more instances that game. Before we left for the Sunday double I told my wife to watch this player. I was doing the scoreboard. She does know the game. I was thinking that maybe I was being too hard on him or maybe it was just a fluke day/play. After she said, "he looks like he doesn't even want to be out there." BUT, he had the 2nd most goals on the team overall and in league games and he thinks he is a star. As I said earlier, it is only against the weak teams. A father of another team built a site that mirrors the league website, but also does the kids stats. If you click on a player on the roster, you see his game logs come up. You click him and you see how he scores 4-5 against the weak teams and nothing against the good teams. Plus, just watching you can see it too. What was said about the girl playing D. One other parent was saying how our coach should make him play D for a non-league game just to mix it up and see how he reacts. Don't think he ever did. I told a co-worker about this player. He has coached and his kids are 17 and either 19 or 20, they have been playing since 6U. Co-worker said a kid like that will bounce from team to team each season, because he will impress in tryouts. But, eventually he won't make the team where he was playing the season before and his parent will have to go on facebook and find a team looking for bodies. He will play there and then he wont make that org's A team the following year and do the same thing (look for a team that needs a body).

 

[Mr Jiggyfly]

With your nephew, we have had that before, but those kids are usually told they are not allowed to shoot.

As for that teammate, yeah she should get the boot. Around here, word of that would spread and most organizations will not want her. My nephew's team (also 10U) had a new girl join the organization. She was pretty good. Father said they had problems at their last team. Well, my brother quickly realized why. Attendance, not at practices, but at games. The family is religious, and she was missing games on Sunday to go to church. If that is how the family handles things, that is their business. BUT, if you are going to miss 1/2 the games (generally teams play 1 game on Saturday, 1 game on Sunday in most leagues around here), then you need to be upfront about it. There is a team not far from us that actually has a "Sabbath" team of mostly Orthodox Jewish players. They only schedule games on Sundays, but as a result they do not have time to play too many non-league games as they need the Sundays for league games. The father of the kid on my brother's team needs to find a team that only plays on saturdays. On our AA team, one kid had religion on Saturday mornings as it was the only time he could attend. Coaches knew for non-league games; he was going to miss Saturday morning games. League games, he would miss religion.

As far as the kid from my team, not really sure what the parents tell him. I know the father has said to other parents, "He is not a defensive player, he is an offensive player..." I am not sure if he tells him not to worry about D or what he does. Just to give you an idea, I remember 1 set of games and a few plays. One Sunday we had a non-league game. We had the puck in the O-zone and they chipped it out. Our dman recovered and was skating in neutral zone waiting for everyone to touch up. The other 2 forwards hauled ass back to get onsides, he casually skated and didnt even bend his knees. One of the other forwards yelled at him to hurry up. After, saw coach giving it to him on bench. Following weekend, we had a non-league on Saturday and non-league double header on Sunday. On Saturday, there was a play where they had the puck in deep. This player was in the slot, but all the way at the top of the circles. Standing with his feet together and holding his stick as if he was waiting in line for a drill and waiting his turn. They score and I hear another parent say, "What is (inset name) doing? He never even tries on D." Several more instances that game. Before we left for the Sunday double I told my wife to watch this player. I was doing the scoreboard. She does know the game. I was thinking that maybe I was being too hard on him or maybe it was just a fluke day/play. After she said, "he looks like he doesn't even want to be out there." BUT, he had the 2nd most goals on the team overall and in league games and he thinks he is a star. As I said earlier, it is only against the weak teams. A father of another team built a site that mirrors the league website, but also does the kids stats. If you click on a player on the roster, you see his game logs come up. You click him and you see how he scores 4-5 against the weak teams and nothing against the good teams. Plus, just watching you can see it too. What was said about the girl playing D. One other parent was saying how our coach should make him play D for a non-league game just to mix it up and see how he reacts. Don't think he ever did. I told a co-worker about this player. He has coached and his kids are 17 and either 19 or 20, they have been playing since 6U. Co-worker said a kid like that will bounce from team to team each season, because he will impress in tryouts. But, eventually he won't make the team where he was playing the season before and his parent will have to go on facebook and find a team looking for bodies. He will play there and then he wont make that org's A team the following year and do the same thing (look for a team that needs a body).

I get the religion stuff as my parents were raised Catholic and made us go to church on Sundays.

With the sexual abuse scandal I moved away from being a practicing Catholic, so it’s not an issue for my daughter.

Until I read your post it’s never been an issue I ever thought of to be honest.

I know we have had some religious families on my daughter’s teams over the years, but I don’t recall any of their kids missing games over church.

Either they found masses when we traveled and never mentioned it or they just blew it off - no idea.

The parents and kids were mostly all happy that AAA girl left - I felt it was a big waste of talent because her father was very controlling that I noticed and was told.

Just a very odd dude that the girls mom told us her husband was very domineering and even had to have control of what numbers his daughters wore (he had two other girls who played also).

The fact this girl called her dad when she was asked to play D was a huge red flag.

I think some kids are just assholes and think they are the world’s gift to hockey and some like this girl have f***ed up dads/moms that try to control everything they do.
It was just a sad situation.

 

[patnyrnyg]

Definitely sounds like that father could be a case study for a grad/phD level psych student.

As a kid, I was dragged to church every Sunday. But, the day did not revolve around church and we would miss for games, swim meets, etc from time to time. If for them, church comes first, fine. But, you have to let someone know. Coaches and the team manager never knew if she was going to show up each game. She is not playing on his team next season. Family was told at the end of the season that due to her attendance, she was not going to be offered a spot for next season and she shouldn't even bother with tryouts.

 

[Yukon Joe]

In another post, I mentioned the rinks. Almost all are in the suburbs. In NJ, there is at least 1 in every county, there are privately owned rinks as well and a few training centers. On Long Island, I can think of 7 off the top of my head I believe are open in Nassau County, and there might be a few more I just can't think of right now. In Suffolk, I know of 3, off the top of my head, but would not be shocked if there are more as we dont play out there. Same with the counties north of NYC and in Connecticut. Within the NYC limits, can only think of 6 rinks that have hockey. 1 in Staten Island, 2 in Brooklyn, 2 in Manhattan, 1 in Queens. I only know of 1 rink in the Bronx and I dont think they have an ice hockey program. I know of another rink in Staten Island, Manhattan, and Queens but they dont have hockey. There is also no "NYC" league here. The team in Staten Island play in the NJ league and the EJEPL. The teams in Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens play in the Hudson Valley League and/or the Long Island League and/or the AHF/EJEPL. The team in Staten Island will play non-league games against teams from the other boroughs or possibly in the AHF/EJEPL.

In the City of Edmonton there are 22 different ice rinks owned by the City, with a total of 30 sheets of ice. I can think of 5 private rinks as well with 6 sheets of ice, and I might be forgetting some (and I'm not counting Rogers Place itself). And that's just the city itself (population 980,000) - you get to the surrounding communities there are more.

 

[Yukon Joe]

With respect to Church - that is something I do regret. When my kids were very little we were going to church regularly and I did find it a very rewarding experience. I don't want to get into the weeds, but we left due to a change in pastors, then we started doing hockey and our weekends are full...

I don't like that you kind of have to choose between the two. I mean now that my kids are older we typically don't have Sunday morning ice times any more, but that would be a staple for younger kids.

Not necessarily sure we made the right call here to be honest.

 

[Mr Jiggyfly]

Definitely sounds like that father could be a case study for a grad/phD level psych student.

As a kid, I was dragged to church every Sunday. But, the day did not revolve around church and we would miss for games, swim meets, etc from time to time. If for them, church comes first, fine. But, you have to let someone know. Coaches and the team manager never knew if she was going to show up each game. She is not playing on his team next season. Family was told at the end of the season that due to her attendance, she was not going to be offered a spot for next season and she shouldn't even bother with tryouts.

We actually did have a case like yours, but it wasn’t because of church, it was football.

This kid came over from the same org as the AAA girl I spoke of above.

Another really talented kid, but he also played football.

His dad, who is another loon, “forgot” to tell the association about this.

So from Sept - Nov he played in like 3 games max and missed 3 tournaments.

Basically took up a roster spot and made the team play shorthanded half of the season.

When he did play, he would share the puck and was a good player, but he was stupid as f***.

Always took 3-4 penalties and basically screwed the team hard with his stupidity.

He missed the last two tournaments of the season also.

He stayed up late playing video games and got the ban hammer from his parents for one tournament.

The last tournament he got kicked out of the entire tournament for a flying elbow.

He maybe played in 15 out of 60 games and missed 5 tournaments.

Why even bother playing?

Thankfully he asked to play for one of their lower teams this season so he could focus on football.

 

[Yukon Joe]

I mean, my kid was asked to play ball hockey again this year. This is with a group of kids he's played with for years (but my kid is now playing at a higher level then almost all the other kids).

We said "sure, but just so you know he won't be able to make all the games because of his spring hockey commitments".

Coaches were fine with this, and he's made 1/2 to 2/3 of the games so far. But obviously that's going to differ for different teams and different coaches.

But going back to the theme of this thread - there's nothing wrong with laying all your cards on the table and telling coaches what your plans are, and usually it'll be just fine.

(and I should say ball hockey is a totally different animal from regular winter hockey, as teams do just organize themselves with no formal tryout/evaluation process)

 

[jetsmooseice]

With respect to Church - that is something I do regret. When my kids were very little we were going to church regularly and I did find it a very rewarding experience. I don't want to get into the weeds, but we left due to a change in pastors, then we started doing hockey and our weekends are full...

I don't like that you kind of have to choose between the two. I mean now that my kids are older we typically don't have Sunday morning ice times any more, but that would be a staple for younger kids.

Not necessarily sure we made the right call here to be honest.

I'm Catholic and I attend mass regularly, to the best of my abilities. In an average year I'd say I miss no more than maybe 5 or 6 Sundays (or Saturday evenings) a year, typically when I'm travelling. My wife and kids attend way less regularly, I am lenient on the kids if they have something else going on, etc., but as they get older I do gently lean on them to come unless there is a compelling reason not to. They don't mind coming, it's never a struggle.

For myself, if I have a hockey (or ringette) commitment on Sunday morning I can almost always find another mass to attend at another church, either on Saturday, on Sunday evening or even later on Sunday afternoon. It's rare that I can't find a workaround. I realize that for some religious groups like Orthodox Jews there may not be the same degree of flexibility, though. Or even if you are committed to attending one specific service at one specific church every Sunday, that would be tough. I guess rural areas might also present a problem when the next closest church is 80 km away or whatever.

 

[patnyrnyg]

I'm Catholic and I attend mass regularly, to the best of my abilities. In an average year I'd say I miss no more than maybe 5 or 6 Sundays (or Saturday evenings) a year, typically when I'm travelling. My wife and kids attend way less regularly, I am lenient on the kids if they have something else going on, etc., but as they get older I do gently lean on them to come unless there is a compelling reason not to. They don't mind coming, it's never a struggle.

For myself, if I have a hockey (or ringette) commitment on Sunday morning I can almost always find another mass to attend at another church, either on Saturday, on Sunday evening or even later on Sunday afternoon. It's rare that I can't find a workaround. I realize that for some religious groups like Orthodox Jews there may not be the same degree of flexibility, though. Or even if you are committed to attending one specific service at one specific church every Sunday, that would be tough. I guess rural areas might also present a problem when the next closest church is 80 km away or whatever.

For the girl on my nephew's team, not sure what religion the family follows. They are Korean, think the parents were born in Korea and they attend a mass given in Korean. Same time every week and it is not at a "local" church. So, it is an almost all-day affair. When I umpired baseball, I worked with a guy who would not take games on Sunday because of church. I asked, "Why not go to church in the morning and then take an afternoon double-header?" I wont say his exact words, but he stated the mass is at 11am and if it is nice out most stay for a barbecue. If not, they have a party room in the basement. So, it is a social thing. Problem for the assignors was we worked a very big mens league that had games all days sunday and a summer travel league for middle/high school and college players. So, when you are not available sundays, it causes you to drop to the bottom of the pecking order for getting games the rest of the week.