How to motivate a novice (or any) player for tryouts?

[jetsmooseice]

I like reading your accounts Yukon Joe, it's interesting to hear other peoples' stories about this.

My kid doesn't get worked up about tryouts... I don't want to make him anxious, but I had to remind him to do his best since his placement hinges on his performance. I think he's headed to mid-tier which is fine, that's pretty well where I'd say he belongs. He played on a high level spring team this past year and he had fun, but it was not a great experience from a development standpoint, other than being on the ice against some exceptionally good opponents. When he is not one of the top performers on his team, I find that he disengages somewhat and (very visibly) becomes a passenger. This is in stark contrast to when he is one of the better players... then he's motivated and puts in a great effort, comes off the ice sweaty, etc.

 

[Yukon Joe]

I like reading your accounts Yukon Joe, it's interesting to hear other peoples' stories about this.

My kid doesn't get worked up about tryouts... I don't want to make him anxious, but I had to remind him to do his best since his placement hinges on his performance. I think he's headed to mid-tier which is fine, that's pretty well where I'd say he belongs. He played on a high level spring team this past year and he had fun, but it was not a great experience from a development standpoint, other than being on the ice against some exceptionally good opponents. When he is not one of the top performers on his team, I find that he disengages somewhat and (very visibly) becomes a passenger. This is in stark contrast to when he is one of the better players... then he's motivated and puts in a great effort, comes off the ice sweaty, etc.

Thanks @jetsmooseice Please share your own hockey parent stories.

I agree - there's a lot to be said about playing with kids (or adults!) that are at your level. I mean I have a whole thread about joining a new adult rec team just so I could be a meaningful player out on the ice. And my youngest kid: he may have quite playing hockey in any event, but I definitely feel that being placed in too-high a tier last year contributed to him losing any interest in hockey. I could just see him getting more and more discouraged, and putting in less and less effort as last year went on.

And you're speaking my language about being sweaty. That's all I really want from my kids - to see them red and sweaty when they come off the ice, so I know that whatever happened out there they were giving it their all.


Oh, and it's unrelated other than it being about kid's hockey... my middle kid has had AMAZING coaches the last two years. Both played university hockey, ran great drills, good motivators... So it's kind of a disappointment that his coach this year is really just an average dad coach. It's nothing I can complain about - I wouldn't be any better a coach, and this coach is putting in the effort. But the difference is really quite striking. Ah well, I guess that's how it goes in minor hockey.


Edit: and one more aside. My oldest kid played it pretty cool when he finally made his AA team, but he let his excitement show last night when he got to go to the "clubhouse" and pick up a bunch of club swag. He went to school this morning absolutely dripping in team logos. I didn't have the heart to tell him that 90% of his classmates would have no idea what that logo means, and the other 10% are his buddies who tried out and didn't make the team and might resent him for it.

 

[Slats432]

Thanks @jetsmooseice Please share your own hockey parent stories.

I agree - there's a lot to be said about playing with kids (or adults!) that are at your level. I mean I have a whole thread about joining a new adult rec team just so I could be a meaningful player out on the ice. And my youngest kid: he may have quite playing hockey in any event, but I definitely feel that being placed in too-high a tier last year contributed to him losing any interest in hockey. I could just see him getting more and more discouraged, and putting in less and less effort as last year went on.

And you're speaking my language about being sweaty. That's all I really want from my kids - to see them red and sweaty when they come off the ice, so I know that whatever happened out there they were giving it their all.


Oh, and it's unrelated other than it being about kid's hockey... my middle kid has had AMAZING coaches the last two years. Both played university hockey, ran great drills, good motivators... So it's kind of a disappointment that his coach this year is really just an average dad coach. It's nothing I can complain about - I wouldn't be any better a coach, and this coach is putting in the effort. But the difference is really quite striking. Ah well, I guess that's how it goes in minor hockey.


Edit: and one more aside. My oldest kid played it pretty cool when he finally made his AA team, but he let his excitement show last night when he got to go to the "clubhouse" and pick up a bunch of club swag. He went to school this morning absolutely dripping in team logos. I didn't have the heart to tell him that 90% of his classmates would have no idea what that logo means, and the other 10% are his buddies who tried out and didn't make the team and might resent him for it.

That is interesting about the oldest. Mine was never wanting to wear his team gear outside of hockey for the reasons you mentioned. Going to Pats and Silvertips camps, (As well as a ton of AJHL camps) could have worn them at conditioning or other camps but just didn't want to bring that attention to himself or make other people feel worse that they didn't get to go. Even when he signed in the SJHL, I don't think he ever wore the Melfort Mustangs gear. (I still wear the hat )

 

[Yukon Joe]

That is interesting about the oldest. Mine was never wanting to wear his team gear outside of hockey for the reasons you mentioned. Going to Pats and Silvertips camps, (As well as a ton of AJHL camps) could have worn them at conditioning or other camps but just didn't want to bring that attention to himself or make other people feel worse that they didn't get to go. Even when he signed in the SJHL, I don't think he ever wore the Melfort Mustangs gear. (I still wear the hat )

Hey he earned the right to wear it if he wants to.

But yeah, he's still only 12 so maybe not quite as attuned to such things.

 

[Yukon Joe]

I'm going to bump my favourite thread - as it's my favourite/least favourite time of the year - tryout time!

It's hasn't been an issue of motivation for years now. Oldest boy is trying out for U15 (formerly bantam). Tryouts haven't even started yet - only summer camps. Yet still we have other parents making spreadsheets of who they think will make/not make AA/AAA. I'm like 'there's probably some kid from Tier 3 last year who will play his ass off', but they still can't help it. Who knows what will happen. But this age category is where it starts getting super serious - junior hockey can draft from U15. God damn these "kids" are big now.

Middle kid is now moving in to U13 (former peewee). He's actually grown so much as a player. I doubt he'll make it to AA, but could be a huge year for him. I went back through this thread, and I called him a pretty mediocre player. Cool to see how far he's come. He plays D, is just a very smart player, if not flashy - is always at the right position, makes the smart if not flashy play.

And because I love him just as much - I should mention my youngest kid. He quit hockey over a year ago, has zero interest in going back, is worried about whether or not he can qualify for his next level of taekwondo belt in a couple of weeks. I think he'll be fine.

Anyways - as a parent one of the harder things is learning to "let go" and just let your kids pick their own path.

 

[WarriorofTime]

Never push a kid harder than what you can tell they want to be pushed. It’s a tough line to walk. Some kids do very much want to be playing “elite-level” hockey and just need to be set in the right direction as far as realizing the importance to putting in the work to get there.

Other kids are just having fun and it’s not life or death for them and they don’t need to put everything into these tryouts. So many times it’s the parents dream they’re trying to force on their kids. Ultimately you just have to know your kid, know their abilities and their desires.

 

[Yukon Joe]

Oof. A couple times there U15 tryouts are tough to watch.

U15 is the first level to allow hitting in local minor hockey. So the ice is full of 13 and 14 year olds - the 13 year olds may have never played in a hitting game before (depending on what camps or spring hockey or whatever they may have done). But you also have a couple of 14 year olds who must be at least 6 feet tall. And some of those kids are just looking to hit anyone they can.

But anyways - after 2 games for each group we already have reports of a broken collarbone and a broken arm.

 

[Slats432]

Oof. A couple times there U15 tryouts are tough to watch.

U15 is the first level to allow hitting in local minor hockey. So the ice is full of 13 and 14 year olds - the 13 year olds may have never played in a hitting game before (depending on what camps or spring hockey or whatever they may have done). But you also have a couple of 14 year olds who must be at least 6 feet tall. And some of those kids are just looking to hit anyone they can.

But anyways - after 2 games for each group we already have reports of a broken collarbone and a broken arm.

Maybe 25% go to hitting camps. I have noticed that many kids in federation have not been coached in drills that develop the awareness for hitting hockey. Hope there aren't that many injuries.

 

[biturbo19]

Takes me back to "Bantam tryouts" in my own day. My family didn't have the money and couldn't spend the time for it. But as a house league goalie...i actually still practiced with them a bunch. I even played games for the "rep" team. Most of the team was just the best players from each house league team i'd played with over the years prior.

I was never going anywhere as a small goalie who wasn't even that good. But...I quit part way through midget because the politics of the whole thing became truly insane, i had a particularly awful coach, and football was just a lot more fun at the time. It sounds like things have just become even more messed up and convoluted since.


It took me a bunch of years to finally pick it back up and actually enjoy playing hockey again.



The pressure people put on kids these days is insane.

 

[Yukon Joe]

2010 kid has made it through and been assigned to a U15 AA team. Which is obviously good news - but there are a total of 28 kids assigned to the team, so there are still cuts to be made. He has buddies who didn't make it this far though.

2912 kid has his U13 AA tryouts starting tomorrow.

Like I said earlier - this is my most/least favourite time of year.