Ohio Jones
Game on...
The office of Fillmore and Ballstein, player agents to the HFNHL stars, is pleased to announce the replacement for recently retired super-agent Shorty (“$horty”) Ballstein. Joining the firm is Shorty’s older brother, Maury Ballstein, who brings decades of experience as agent to the world’s top male models.
“My brother may be ready to retire to Boca, sip mimosas and hustle widows at shuffleboard, but I’m just warming up,” Ballstein told reporters. “I went under the knife for my grapefruit-sized prostate and I feel like a new man!”
“Call me Curly,” the flamboyant septuagenarian declared, “because I do the same thing my little brother did: grab you by the short and curlies and make you pay up!”
Ballstein then channeled another 70-something Curly by dropping to the floor and ripping off some one-armed pushups.
The elder Ballstein will be responsible for representing HFNHL players in their contract negotiations with Western Conference teams. “Those suckers don’t know what they’re in for,” he declared. “I’m gonna be rich!”
(PS: I’m honoured to be joining “Pops” Ville in the HFNHL agents office, and help the league’s administrative volunteers keep this 23+ year tradition going strong. Get ready to make it rain, boys!)
(PPS: Pour one out for the OG Maury Ballstein, a.k.a. Jerry Stiller. RIP.)
“My brother may be ready to retire to Boca, sip mimosas and hustle widows at shuffleboard, but I’m just warming up,” Ballstein told reporters. “I went under the knife for my grapefruit-sized prostate and I feel like a new man!”
“Call me Curly,” the flamboyant septuagenarian declared, “because I do the same thing my little brother did: grab you by the short and curlies and make you pay up!”
Ballstein then channeled another 70-something Curly by dropping to the floor and ripping off some one-armed pushups.
The elder Ballstein will be responsible for representing HFNHL players in their contract negotiations with Western Conference teams. “Those suckers don’t know what they’re in for,” he declared. “I’m gonna be rich!”
(PS: I’m honoured to be joining “Pops” Ville in the HFNHL agents office, and help the league’s administrative volunteers keep this 23+ year tradition going strong. Get ready to make it rain, boys!)
(PPS: Pour one out for the OG Maury Ballstein, a.k.a. Jerry Stiller. RIP.)
