ElysiumAB
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- Sep 12, 2013
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Sure! Even if you're the only one that reads em, I'll continue with 2014-2015 when I get a chance.
Cheers.
"Hello darkness, my old friend"
- Thread starter ElysiumAB
- Start date
Sure! Even if you're the only one that reads em, I'll continue with 2014-2015 when I get a chance.
Cheers.
ElysiumAB
Registered User
- Sep 12, 2013
- 5,916
- 5,571
Here are some favorites, game 1-20 of the 2014-2015 season:
"Ah Rexall food, for when you are feeling adventurous and life feels too long." - Preseason
"How many mouth-breathers do Vancouver have this season? Sestito, Kassian, Burrows, Bieksa..." - Preseason
"Has it gotten that bad that we need to blame peoples children?" - Game #1 | Oct 9, 2014, Oilers 2 – Flames 5
"By the looks of it I’m going to have to wait until the fifth game of the season to hear what the new goal song sounds like." - Game #1 | Oct 9, 2014, Oilers 2 – Flames 5
"I`m done. When's the draft?" - Game #1 | Oct 9, 2014, Oilers 2 – Flames 5
"I think I just saw Gretzky and Messier leave for the bar." - Game #1 | Oct 9, 2014, Oilers 2 – Flames 5
"If you made a time lapse of every Coach's Corner episode you'd see Ron slowly lose his will to live." - Game #1 | Oct 9, 2014, Oilers 2 – Flames 5
"These guys must have an offsides bonus in their contracts." - Game #2 | Oct 11, 2014, Oilers 4 – Canucks 5
"This is going to turn out more ****ed up than a soup sandwich." - Game #3 | Oct 14, 2014, Oilers 1 – Kings 6
"Donovan McNabb would be the best player on the Oilers." - Game #3 | Oct 14, 2014, Oilers 1 – Kings 6
"#HerecometheOilers" - Game #3 | Oct 14, 2014, Oilers 1 – Kings 6
"The NHL should step in and force changes." - Game #4 | Oct 14, 2014, Oilers 4 – Coyotes 7
"Hail Mary, full of grace..." - Game #5 | Oct 17, 2014, Oilers 0 – Canucks 2
"I like that Mark Messier thinks a whisper is just a deeper regular voice." - Game #5 | Oct 17, 2014, Oilers 0 – Canucks 2
"It's a known fact that strip clubs have the best DJ's. They'll do an electronic remix of Crazy Train, or mash-up a Rhianna song with the Foo Fighters. They cater to everyone." - Game #8 | Oct 24, 2014, Oilers 6 – Hurricanes 3
"Did Benoit Pouliot just knife a guy?" - Game #8 | Oct 24, 2014, Oilers 6 – Hurricanes 3
"OLE OLE OLE OLE the f*** out of Rexall!" - Game #9 | Oct 27, 2014, Oilers 3 – Canadiens 0
"Lots of dump. Absolutely no chase." - Game #10 | Oct 29, 2014, Oilers 1 – Predators 4
"Get Eberle a zimmer frame." - Game #10 | Oct 29, 2014, Oilers 1 – Predators 4
"I cry every time." - Game #11 | Nov 1, 2014, Oilers 2 – Canucks 3
"This team would do better without a coach." - Game #12 | Nov 4, 2014, Oilers 1 – Flyers 4
"Thousand-yard stare from Eakins to start the third." - Game #12 | Nov 4, 2014, Oilers 1 – Flyers 4
"If Messier becomes coach, does he wear that leather jacket behind the bench?" - Game #12 | Nov 4, 2014, Oilers 1 – Flyers 4
"Divert the focus to alternative achievements. Sharpest skates... whitest whites... best tape jobs on the sticks..." - Game #12 | Nov 4, 2014, Oilers 1 – Flyers 4
"The Iraq Minister of Defense gave a more honest description of events than the Oilers telecast." - Game #13 | Nov 6, 2014, Oilers 2 – Bruins 5
"I'm trying to de-sour and sweeten, but it’s hard. I'm soured." - Game #13 | Nov 6, 2014, Oilers 2 – Bruins 5
"Eakins should write 'Goodbye.' on the whiteboard." - Game #13 | Nov 6, 2014, Oilers 2 – Bruins 5
"Who is the Oilers NHL affiliate?" - Game #13 | Nov 6, 2014, Oilers 2 – Bruins 5
"NASA just landed a space probe on a ****ing COMET and the NHL can't get a referees on ice microphone to work." - Game #17 | Nov 13, 2014, Oilers 3 – Senators 4
"Rebuild the rebuild." - Game #17 | Nov 13, 2014, Oilers 3 – Senators 4
"Chop wood, tread water." - Game #17 | Nov 13, 2014, Oilers 3 – Senators 4
"I’ll trade my wife for two bags of wine." - Game #18 | Nov 16, 2014, Oilers 1 – Senators 2
"That girl behind the Canuck's bench has been eating the entire game." - Game #19 | Nov 19, 2014, Oilers 4 – Canucks 5
"Fun Fact: We don't have a player in the top 60 for scoring." - Game #19 | Nov 19, 2014, Oilers 4 – Canucks 5
"Watching the Oilers is like amputee sex. Not all the parts are there, but it's pretty much the same as the real thing. Some people like it even more." - Game #20 | Nov 21, 2014, Oilers 0 – Devils 2
"I've been in a coma since 2007. What'd I miss?" - Game #20 | Nov 21, 2014, Oilers 0 – Devils 2
"Ah Rexall food, for when you are feeling adventurous and life feels too long." - Preseason
"How many mouth-breathers do Vancouver have this season? Sestito, Kassian, Burrows, Bieksa..." - Preseason
"Has it gotten that bad that we need to blame peoples children?" - Game #1 | Oct 9, 2014, Oilers 2 – Flames 5
"By the looks of it I’m going to have to wait until the fifth game of the season to hear what the new goal song sounds like." - Game #1 | Oct 9, 2014, Oilers 2 – Flames 5
"I`m done. When's the draft?" - Game #1 | Oct 9, 2014, Oilers 2 – Flames 5
"I think I just saw Gretzky and Messier leave for the bar." - Game #1 | Oct 9, 2014, Oilers 2 – Flames 5
"If you made a time lapse of every Coach's Corner episode you'd see Ron slowly lose his will to live." - Game #1 | Oct 9, 2014, Oilers 2 – Flames 5
"These guys must have an offsides bonus in their contracts." - Game #2 | Oct 11, 2014, Oilers 4 – Canucks 5
"This is going to turn out more ****ed up than a soup sandwich." - Game #3 | Oct 14, 2014, Oilers 1 – Kings 6
"Donovan McNabb would be the best player on the Oilers." - Game #3 | Oct 14, 2014, Oilers 1 – Kings 6
"#HerecometheOilers" - Game #3 | Oct 14, 2014, Oilers 1 – Kings 6
"The NHL should step in and force changes." - Game #4 | Oct 14, 2014, Oilers 4 – Coyotes 7
"Hail Mary, full of grace..." - Game #5 | Oct 17, 2014, Oilers 0 – Canucks 2
"I like that Mark Messier thinks a whisper is just a deeper regular voice." - Game #5 | Oct 17, 2014, Oilers 0 – Canucks 2
"It's a known fact that strip clubs have the best DJ's. They'll do an electronic remix of Crazy Train, or mash-up a Rhianna song with the Foo Fighters. They cater to everyone." - Game #8 | Oct 24, 2014, Oilers 6 – Hurricanes 3
"Did Benoit Pouliot just knife a guy?" - Game #8 | Oct 24, 2014, Oilers 6 – Hurricanes 3
"OLE OLE OLE OLE the f*** out of Rexall!" - Game #9 | Oct 27, 2014, Oilers 3 – Canadiens 0
"Lots of dump. Absolutely no chase." - Game #10 | Oct 29, 2014, Oilers 1 – Predators 4
"Get Eberle a zimmer frame." - Game #10 | Oct 29, 2014, Oilers 1 – Predators 4
"I cry every time." - Game #11 | Nov 1, 2014, Oilers 2 – Canucks 3
"This team would do better without a coach." - Game #12 | Nov 4, 2014, Oilers 1 – Flyers 4
"Thousand-yard stare from Eakins to start the third." - Game #12 | Nov 4, 2014, Oilers 1 – Flyers 4
"If Messier becomes coach, does he wear that leather jacket behind the bench?" - Game #12 | Nov 4, 2014, Oilers 1 – Flyers 4
"Divert the focus to alternative achievements. Sharpest skates... whitest whites... best tape jobs on the sticks..." - Game #12 | Nov 4, 2014, Oilers 1 – Flyers 4
"The Iraq Minister of Defense gave a more honest description of events than the Oilers telecast." - Game #13 | Nov 6, 2014, Oilers 2 – Bruins 5
"I'm trying to de-sour and sweeten, but it’s hard. I'm soured." - Game #13 | Nov 6, 2014, Oilers 2 – Bruins 5
"Eakins should write 'Goodbye.' on the whiteboard." - Game #13 | Nov 6, 2014, Oilers 2 – Bruins 5
"Who is the Oilers NHL affiliate?" - Game #13 | Nov 6, 2014, Oilers 2 – Bruins 5
"NASA just landed a space probe on a ****ing COMET and the NHL can't get a referees on ice microphone to work." - Game #17 | Nov 13, 2014, Oilers 3 – Senators 4
"Rebuild the rebuild." - Game #17 | Nov 13, 2014, Oilers 3 – Senators 4
"Chop wood, tread water." - Game #17 | Nov 13, 2014, Oilers 3 – Senators 4
"I’ll trade my wife for two bags of wine." - Game #18 | Nov 16, 2014, Oilers 1 – Senators 2
"That girl behind the Canuck's bench has been eating the entire game." - Game #19 | Nov 19, 2014, Oilers 4 – Canucks 5
"Fun Fact: We don't have a player in the top 60 for scoring." - Game #19 | Nov 19, 2014, Oilers 4 – Canucks 5
"Watching the Oilers is like amputee sex. Not all the parts are there, but it's pretty much the same as the real thing. Some people like it even more." - Game #20 | Nov 21, 2014, Oilers 0 – Devils 2
"I've been in a coma since 2007. What'd I miss?" - Game #20 | Nov 21, 2014, Oilers 0 – Devils 2
ElysiumAB
Registered User
- Sep 12, 2013
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Games 21-40 of the 2014-2015 season:
"If we can just get a touchdown we’re still in this." Game #21 | Nov 22, 2014, Oilers 1 – Blackhawks 7
"I am questioning whether or not I am a hockey fan." - Game #21 | Nov 22, 2014, Oilers 1 – Blackhawks 7
"The people left in the arena aren’t fans, they’re witnesses." - Game #21 | Nov 22, 2014, Oilers 1 – Blackhawks 7
"We've played them pretty tight since they went up by 6." - Game #21 | Nov 22, 2014, Oilers 1 – Blackhawks 7
"I miss losing to the Stars in the playoffs." - Game #22 | Nov 25, 2014, Oilers 2 – Stars 3
"Trust me, I know a thing or two about sobbing." - Game #22 | Nov 25, 2014, Oilers 2 – Stars 3
"Their defense has figured out Eberle, just defend whichever option is cutest." - Game #23 | Nov 27, 2014, Oilers 0 – Predators 1
"I just want average everything." - Game #23 | Nov 27, 2014, Oilers 0 – Predators 1
"We're so bad right now that hipsters in Vancouver are wearing Oilers jerseys." - Game #25 | Dec 1, 2014, Oilers 2 – Coyotes 5
"Fun Fact: The Canucks only have one less win at Rexall this year than the Oilers do." Game #25 | Dec 1, 2014, Oilers 2 – Coyotes 5
"I’m drinking a beer for every loss in the losing streak. 10 tonight, next game 11 and so forth - until death, I guess." - Game #26 | Dec 3, 2014, Oilers 2 – Jets 3
"This tank runs on Oil." - Game #26 | Dec 3, 2014, Oilers 2 – Jets 3
"I’m going to the game tonight, been working on my throwing arm all day." - Game #27 | Dec 7, 2014, Oilers 2 – Sharks 1
"If you look at the standings upside down we are doing awesome." - Game #29 | Dec 10, 2014, Oilers 1 – Ducks 2
"Anaheim is in the greater Los Angeles area and there are not many ducks there. Sure there might be a couple but they are not known for ducks." - Game #29 | Dec 10, 2014, Oilers 1 – Ducks 2
"Today is one of the three days a year that the Edmonton Oilers are relevant… the coach firing, the draft lottery, and the draft." - Game #31 | Dec 14, 2014, Oilers 0 – Rangers 2
"Christmas is only days away and we have more press conferences than wins." - Game #34 | Dec 21, 2014, Oilers 5 – Stars 6
"Fun Fact: The Oilers haven’t won on New Years Eve since December 31, 1985." - Game #38 | Dec 31, 2014, Oilers 3 – Flames 4
"If we can just get a touchdown we’re still in this." Game #21 | Nov 22, 2014, Oilers 1 – Blackhawks 7
"I am questioning whether or not I am a hockey fan." - Game #21 | Nov 22, 2014, Oilers 1 – Blackhawks 7
"The people left in the arena aren’t fans, they’re witnesses." - Game #21 | Nov 22, 2014, Oilers 1 – Blackhawks 7
"We've played them pretty tight since they went up by 6." - Game #21 | Nov 22, 2014, Oilers 1 – Blackhawks 7
"I miss losing to the Stars in the playoffs." - Game #22 | Nov 25, 2014, Oilers 2 – Stars 3
"Trust me, I know a thing or two about sobbing." - Game #22 | Nov 25, 2014, Oilers 2 – Stars 3
"Their defense has figured out Eberle, just defend whichever option is cutest." - Game #23 | Nov 27, 2014, Oilers 0 – Predators 1
"I just want average everything." - Game #23 | Nov 27, 2014, Oilers 0 – Predators 1
"We're so bad right now that hipsters in Vancouver are wearing Oilers jerseys." - Game #25 | Dec 1, 2014, Oilers 2 – Coyotes 5
"Fun Fact: The Canucks only have one less win at Rexall this year than the Oilers do." Game #25 | Dec 1, 2014, Oilers 2 – Coyotes 5
"I’m drinking a beer for every loss in the losing streak. 10 tonight, next game 11 and so forth - until death, I guess." - Game #26 | Dec 3, 2014, Oilers 2 – Jets 3
"This tank runs on Oil." - Game #26 | Dec 3, 2014, Oilers 2 – Jets 3
"I’m going to the game tonight, been working on my throwing arm all day." - Game #27 | Dec 7, 2014, Oilers 2 – Sharks 1
"If you look at the standings upside down we are doing awesome." - Game #29 | Dec 10, 2014, Oilers 1 – Ducks 2
"Anaheim is in the greater Los Angeles area and there are not many ducks there. Sure there might be a couple but they are not known for ducks." - Game #29 | Dec 10, 2014, Oilers 1 – Ducks 2
"Today is one of the three days a year that the Edmonton Oilers are relevant… the coach firing, the draft lottery, and the draft." - Game #31 | Dec 14, 2014, Oilers 0 – Rangers 2
"Christmas is only days away and we have more press conferences than wins." - Game #34 | Dec 21, 2014, Oilers 5 – Stars 6
"Fun Fact: The Oilers haven’t won on New Years Eve since December 31, 1985." - Game #38 | Dec 31, 2014, Oilers 3 – Flames 4
Last edited:
ElysiumAB
Registered User
- Sep 12, 2013
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Remainder of the 2014-2015 season:
"Nice knee high rocket pass by our captain." - Game #41 | Jan 6, 2015, Oilers 2 – Red Wings 4
"We're only halfway. Oh god." - Game #42 | Jan 9, 2015, Oilers 5 – Blackhawks 2
"I can't get over how much Corey Crawford looks like a white Drake." - Game #42 | Jan 9, 2015, Oilers 5 – Blackhawks 2
"I'm not promoting doing anything illegal, but a hitman would be cheaper than a buyout." - Game #43 | Jan 11, 2015, Oilers 2 – Panthers 4
"My dad just drew up a better powerplay strategy on a cocktail napkin." - Game #46 | Jan 17, 2015, Oilers 3 – Panthers 2
"This is one of the rare games when there is a chance we could see a jersey thrown on the ice from both fan bases." - Game #53 | Feb 7, 2015, Oilers 1 – Maple Leafs 5
"All of these injuries are going to hurt our late season playoff push." - Game #58 | Feb 16, 2015, Oilers 4 – Jets 5
"They should force Scrivens to wear an electric dog collar and shock him anytime he leaves the crease." - Game #61 | Feb 21, 2015, Oilers 1 – Ducks 2
"Did the Penguins score a touchdown or two field goals?" - Game #68 | Mar 12, 2015, Oilers 4 – Penguins 6
"60 minutes of schadenfreude." - Game #71 | Mar 18, 2015, Oilers 3 – Blue Jackets 4
"I'm seriously beginning to wonder if I will ever see the Oilers in the playoffs again. I'm in my 20's." - Game #73 | Mar 23, 2015, Oilers 1 – Jets 4
"Uncle!" - Game #78 | Apr 2, 2015, Oilers 2 – Kings 8
"The Oilers Twitter account stopped updating the score after 5." - Game #78 | Apr 2, 2015, Oilers 2 – Kings 8
"There has never been a Tweet about an Oiler playoff game." - Game #79 | Apr 4, 2015, Oilers 0 – Flames 4
"This has all just been the pre-season for the draft lottery." - Game #82 | Apr 11, 2015, Oilers 5 – Canucks 6
"Nice knee high rocket pass by our captain." - Game #41 | Jan 6, 2015, Oilers 2 – Red Wings 4
"We're only halfway. Oh god." - Game #42 | Jan 9, 2015, Oilers 5 – Blackhawks 2
"I can't get over how much Corey Crawford looks like a white Drake." - Game #42 | Jan 9, 2015, Oilers 5 – Blackhawks 2
"I'm not promoting doing anything illegal, but a hitman would be cheaper than a buyout." - Game #43 | Jan 11, 2015, Oilers 2 – Panthers 4
"My dad just drew up a better powerplay strategy on a cocktail napkin." - Game #46 | Jan 17, 2015, Oilers 3 – Panthers 2
"This is one of the rare games when there is a chance we could see a jersey thrown on the ice from both fan bases." - Game #53 | Feb 7, 2015, Oilers 1 – Maple Leafs 5
"All of these injuries are going to hurt our late season playoff push." - Game #58 | Feb 16, 2015, Oilers 4 – Jets 5
"They should force Scrivens to wear an electric dog collar and shock him anytime he leaves the crease." - Game #61 | Feb 21, 2015, Oilers 1 – Ducks 2
"Did the Penguins score a touchdown or two field goals?" - Game #68 | Mar 12, 2015, Oilers 4 – Penguins 6
"60 minutes of schadenfreude." - Game #71 | Mar 18, 2015, Oilers 3 – Blue Jackets 4
"I'm seriously beginning to wonder if I will ever see the Oilers in the playoffs again. I'm in my 20's." - Game #73 | Mar 23, 2015, Oilers 1 – Jets 4
"Uncle!" - Game #78 | Apr 2, 2015, Oilers 2 – Kings 8
"The Oilers Twitter account stopped updating the score after 5." - Game #78 | Apr 2, 2015, Oilers 2 – Kings 8
"There has never been a Tweet about an Oiler playoff game." - Game #79 | Apr 4, 2015, Oilers 0 – Flames 4
"This has all just been the pre-season for the draft lottery." - Game #82 | Apr 11, 2015, Oilers 5 – Canucks 6
ElysiumAB
Registered User
- Sep 12, 2013
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- 5,571
Figured I'd knock out my favorites from 2015-2016 to prepare for the playoffs. Games 1-20:
"Today is the day we transition the Oilers calendar from BC (Before Connor) to AD (After Draft)." - NHL Draft
"From above, the new arena is shaped exactly like a golf club. God damnit." - Preseason
"Black is slimming, of course Kessel went to the Penguins." - Preseason
"How in the f*** do you crash into a Tim Hortons?" - Preseason
"The only things holding this fanbase together are Connor McDavid and bong resin." - Preseason
"I see Vancouver is busy developing divers." - Preseason
"I swear, if Sean Avery hadn't already blocked me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram I'd give him such a hard time right now." - Preseason
"I might tune into that Hockey Wives show just get a good look at George Parros' moustache one last time." - Preseason
"Powerplay! Send out all our first overalls!" - Game #1 | Oct 8, 2015, Oilers 1 @ Blues 3
"This score is going to be devastating news when I sober up in 3 days." - Game #1 | Oct 8, 2015, Oilers 1 @ Blues 3
"What did they do between games, huff paint?" - Game #2 | Oct 10, 2015, Oilers 0 @ Predators 2
"Anyone know when the locker room sale is? Personally, I'm looking forward to the end of season interviews. Think they'll be posted tomorrow?" - Game #2 | Oct 10, 2015, Oilers 0 @ Predators 2
"Oilers gameplan: 1) Dump puck into corner. 2) Be scared to go into corner." - Game #3 | Oct 13, 2015, Oilers 2 @ Stars 3
"McDavid hat trick: 1 goal, 1 hit from behind, 3 TSN articles." - Game #3 | Oct 13, 2015, Oilers 2 @ Stars 3
"I just saved 15% or more on my car insurance by fleeing the scene of an accident." - Game #4 | Oct 15, 2015, Blues 4 @ Oilers 2
"This defense has the situational awareness of a squirrel." - Game #4 | Oct 15, 2015, Blues 4 @ Oilers 2
"i wish i was never born" - Game #4 | Oct 15, 2015, Blues 4 @ Oilers 2
"I watched part of the game using the Oilers goalie camera view, it was terrifying." - Game #4 | Oct 15, 2015, Blues 4 @ Oilers 2
"Are McDavid's parents going to EVERY game?" - Game #5 | Oct 17, 2015, Oilers 5 @ Flames 2
"I thought Nugent-Hopkins was two people until today." - Game #5 | Oct 17, 2015, Oilers 5 @ Flames 2
"Do you think McDavid will be inducted into the Hall of Fame before or after he becomes Prime Minister?" - Game #6 | Oct 18, 2015, Oilers 2 @ Canucks 1 (OT)
"I want to look like Trevor Linden." - Game #6 | Oct 18, 2015, Oilers 2 @ Canucks 1 (OT)
"Is Gene Principe made of leather?" - Game #7 | Oct 21, 2015, Red Wings 1 @ Oilers 3
"We're undefeated vs the eastern conference. The Stanley Cup Final will be a breeze." - Game #7 | Oct 21, 2015, Red Wings 1 @ Oilers 3
"Nightmare. Repeat. Nightmare. Repeat. Nightmare. Repeat. Nightmare. Repeat. Nightmare. Repeat. Nightmare. Repeat. Nightmare. Repeat. Nightmare. Repeat." - Game #8 | Oct 23, 2015, Capitals 7 @ Oilers 4
"The Oilers remind me of one of my teammates from drop in last night. I'm just sitting there asking where he's going. Where you going?... Jason? Where you going?" - Game #10 | Oct 27, 2015, Oilers 3 @ Wild 4
"PK Subban dresses like a GTA Online character." - Game #11 | Oct 29, 2015, Canadiens 3 @ Oilers 4
"I'm expecting the worst but fearing something worse than what I'm expecting." - Game #11 | Oct 29, 2015, Canadiens 3 @ Oilers 4
"Aneurysm in 3... 2...1..." - Game #12 | Oct 31, 2015, Flames 5 @ Oilers 4
"**** Bob Hartly. **** the Flames. **** the NHL. See you next game." - Game #12 | Oct 31, 2015, Flames 5 @ Oilers 4
"Every swear word." - Game #12 | Oct 31, 2015, Flames 5 @ Oilers 4
"We ask that all fans wear black to the next game." - Game #12 | Oct 31, 2015, Flames 5 @ Oilers 4
"Christ, you've summoned the wave." - Game #14 | Nov 6, 2015, Penguins 2 @ Oilers 1
"We might not win outside of Canada until 2016." - Game #15 | Nov 8, 2015, Oilers 2 @ Blackhawks 4
"I miss the lockout." - Game #15 | Nov 8, 2015, Oilers 2 @ Blackhawks 4
"I watch every minute of every game and then I go to bed furious." - Game #16 | Nov 11, 2015, Oilers 4 @ Ducks 3 (OT)
"They don't call him Shawn Scorecoff for nothing. Just kidding, no one calls him Shawn Scorecoff." - Game #16 | Nov 11, 2015, Oilers 4 @ Ducks 3 (OT)
"That seems about par for the curse. I mean course, par for the course." - Game #17 | Nov 12, 2015, Oilers 1 @ Coyotes 4
"The team has the FLU BUG?! The team is OWNED by a billionaire who owns a chain of pharmacies that offer flu shots!" - Game #17 | Nov 12, 2015, Oilers 1 @ Coyotes 4
"Mike Smith has a better breakout pass than our entire D core." - Game #17 | Nov 12, 2015, Oilers 1 @ Coyotes 4
"By the time we beat the Coyotes again they'll be in Quebec City." - Game #17 | Nov 12, 2015, Oilers 1 @ Coyotes 4
"Perfect tape to anus pass there..." - Game #18 | Nov 14, 2015, Oilers 3 @ Kings 4
"Everyone in LA is a glass banger." - Game #18 | Nov 14, 2015, Oilers 3 @ Kings 4
"This is why I bought the month-to-month NHL Gamecenter package. I figured I'd be disinterested by New Years." - Game #19 | Nov 19, 2015, Blackhawks 4 @ Oilers 3
"Today is the day we transition the Oilers calendar from BC (Before Connor) to AD (After Draft)." - NHL Draft
"From above, the new arena is shaped exactly like a golf club. God damnit." - Preseason
"Black is slimming, of course Kessel went to the Penguins." - Preseason
"How in the f*** do you crash into a Tim Hortons?" - Preseason
"The only things holding this fanbase together are Connor McDavid and bong resin." - Preseason
"I see Vancouver is busy developing divers." - Preseason
"I swear, if Sean Avery hadn't already blocked me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram I'd give him such a hard time right now." - Preseason
"I might tune into that Hockey Wives show just get a good look at George Parros' moustache one last time." - Preseason
"Powerplay! Send out all our first overalls!" - Game #1 | Oct 8, 2015, Oilers 1 @ Blues 3
"This score is going to be devastating news when I sober up in 3 days." - Game #1 | Oct 8, 2015, Oilers 1 @ Blues 3
"What did they do between games, huff paint?" - Game #2 | Oct 10, 2015, Oilers 0 @ Predators 2
"Anyone know when the locker room sale is? Personally, I'm looking forward to the end of season interviews. Think they'll be posted tomorrow?" - Game #2 | Oct 10, 2015, Oilers 0 @ Predators 2
"Oilers gameplan: 1) Dump puck into corner. 2) Be scared to go into corner." - Game #3 | Oct 13, 2015, Oilers 2 @ Stars 3
"McDavid hat trick: 1 goal, 1 hit from behind, 3 TSN articles." - Game #3 | Oct 13, 2015, Oilers 2 @ Stars 3
"I just saved 15% or more on my car insurance by fleeing the scene of an accident." - Game #4 | Oct 15, 2015, Blues 4 @ Oilers 2
"This defense has the situational awareness of a squirrel." - Game #4 | Oct 15, 2015, Blues 4 @ Oilers 2
"i wish i was never born" - Game #4 | Oct 15, 2015, Blues 4 @ Oilers 2
"I watched part of the game using the Oilers goalie camera view, it was terrifying." - Game #4 | Oct 15, 2015, Blues 4 @ Oilers 2
"Are McDavid's parents going to EVERY game?" - Game #5 | Oct 17, 2015, Oilers 5 @ Flames 2
"I thought Nugent-Hopkins was two people until today." - Game #5 | Oct 17, 2015, Oilers 5 @ Flames 2
"Do you think McDavid will be inducted into the Hall of Fame before or after he becomes Prime Minister?" - Game #6 | Oct 18, 2015, Oilers 2 @ Canucks 1 (OT)
"I want to look like Trevor Linden." - Game #6 | Oct 18, 2015, Oilers 2 @ Canucks 1 (OT)
"Is Gene Principe made of leather?" - Game #7 | Oct 21, 2015, Red Wings 1 @ Oilers 3
"We're undefeated vs the eastern conference. The Stanley Cup Final will be a breeze." - Game #7 | Oct 21, 2015, Red Wings 1 @ Oilers 3
"Nightmare. Repeat. Nightmare. Repeat. Nightmare. Repeat. Nightmare. Repeat. Nightmare. Repeat. Nightmare. Repeat. Nightmare. Repeat. Nightmare. Repeat." - Game #8 | Oct 23, 2015, Capitals 7 @ Oilers 4
"The Oilers remind me of one of my teammates from drop in last night. I'm just sitting there asking where he's going. Where you going?... Jason? Where you going?" - Game #10 | Oct 27, 2015, Oilers 3 @ Wild 4
"PK Subban dresses like a GTA Online character." - Game #11 | Oct 29, 2015, Canadiens 3 @ Oilers 4
"I'm expecting the worst but fearing something worse than what I'm expecting." - Game #11 | Oct 29, 2015, Canadiens 3 @ Oilers 4
"Aneurysm in 3... 2...1..." - Game #12 | Oct 31, 2015, Flames 5 @ Oilers 4
"**** Bob Hartly. **** the Flames. **** the NHL. See you next game." - Game #12 | Oct 31, 2015, Flames 5 @ Oilers 4
"Every swear word." - Game #12 | Oct 31, 2015, Flames 5 @ Oilers 4
"We ask that all fans wear black to the next game." - Game #12 | Oct 31, 2015, Flames 5 @ Oilers 4
"Christ, you've summoned the wave." - Game #14 | Nov 6, 2015, Penguins 2 @ Oilers 1
"We might not win outside of Canada until 2016." - Game #15 | Nov 8, 2015, Oilers 2 @ Blackhawks 4
"I miss the lockout." - Game #15 | Nov 8, 2015, Oilers 2 @ Blackhawks 4
"I watch every minute of every game and then I go to bed furious." - Game #16 | Nov 11, 2015, Oilers 4 @ Ducks 3 (OT)
"They don't call him Shawn Scorecoff for nothing. Just kidding, no one calls him Shawn Scorecoff." - Game #16 | Nov 11, 2015, Oilers 4 @ Ducks 3 (OT)
"That seems about par for the curse. I mean course, par for the course." - Game #17 | Nov 12, 2015, Oilers 1 @ Coyotes 4
"The team has the FLU BUG?! The team is OWNED by a billionaire who owns a chain of pharmacies that offer flu shots!" - Game #17 | Nov 12, 2015, Oilers 1 @ Coyotes 4
"Mike Smith has a better breakout pass than our entire D core." - Game #17 | Nov 12, 2015, Oilers 1 @ Coyotes 4
"By the time we beat the Coyotes again they'll be in Quebec City." - Game #17 | Nov 12, 2015, Oilers 1 @ Coyotes 4
"Perfect tape to anus pass there..." - Game #18 | Nov 14, 2015, Oilers 3 @ Kings 4
"Everyone in LA is a glass banger." - Game #18 | Nov 14, 2015, Oilers 3 @ Kings 4
"This is why I bought the month-to-month NHL Gamecenter package. I figured I'd be disinterested by New Years." - Game #19 | Nov 19, 2015, Blackhawks 4 @ Oilers 3
ElysiumAB
Registered User
- Sep 12, 2013
- 5,916
- 5,571
2015-2016 games 21-40:
"Life ain't easy without McDeezy." - Game #21 | Nov 23, 2015, Oilers 0 @ Capitals 1
"Hall with 5 turnovers in 1 second." - Game #21 | Nov 23, 2015, Oilers 0 @ Capitals 1
"Boy, I hope they do another intermission feature on Jeff Skinner's figure skating days." - Game #22 | Nov 25, 2015, Oilers 1 @ Carolina 4
"Everyone is like OMG we just crossed the blue line, quick Taylor take this from me." - Game #22 | Nov 25, 2015, Oilers 1 @ Carolina 4
"Force the team to watch Scotiabank commercials until they compete." - Game #22 | Nov 25, 2015, Oilers 1 @ Carolina 4
"The CHED post game show sounds like an obit." - Game #22 | Nov 25, 2015, Oilers 1 @ Carolina 4
"The truth is there is no light at the end of the tunnel, there's just more tunnel." - Game #23 | Nov 27, 2015, Oilers 3 @ Red Wings 4 (OT)
"You're 17. It's not time to experiment with the melody of O' Canada." - Game #24 | Nov 28, 2015, Oilers 3 @ Penguins 2 (OT)
"Hopefully this nightmare will all be over once Jesus returns. I don't mean McDavid, I mean actual Jesus." - Game #25 | Nov 30, 2015, Oilers 0 @ Maple Leafs 3
"Started from the bottom... and we're still here." - Game #26 | Dec 2, 2015, Bruins 2 @ Oilers 3
"The Oilers haven't made the playoffs since the year Youtube was launched." - Game #26 | Dec 2, 2015, Bruins 2 @ Oilers 3
"Nilsson looks behind him and then snowmans? You mean snow angels Kevin. Snow angels." - Game #26 | Dec 2, 2015, Bruins 2 @ Oilers 3
"Can't blame the guys on the Chara goal. How could you spot a 9 foot tall barbarian cruising into the slot?" - Game #26 | Dec 2, 2015, Bruins 2 @ Oilers 3
"I haven't gotten out of bed on time since Connor got hurt." - Game #27 | Dec 4, 2015, Stars 1 @ Oilers 2 (OT)
"In Finland you're put into goalie camp moments after you leave the womb." - Game #27 | Dec 4, 2015, Stars 1 @ Oilers 2 (OT)
"Dallas Eakins was fired one year ago today. This morning the Oilers are in a playoff spot." - Game #31 | Dec 14, 2015, Oilers 3 @ Bruins 2 (OT)
"The last time the Oilers won in Boston was in 1996. Apple was in financial trouble. Twitter was something birds did. Google was a strange baby noise. Amazon was a bookstore. McDavid wasn't born yet." - Game #31 | Dec 14, 2015, Oilers 3 @ Bruins 2 (OT)
"This is what shoplifting must feel like." - Game #35 | Dec 22, 2015, Jets 1 @ Oilers 3
"Jordan Eberle has the physical resistance of a goal mooring." - Game #36 | Dec 26, 2015, Oilers 1 @ Canucks 2 (OT)
"It is actually illegal to say Gaudreau without saying Johnny first." - Game #37 | Dec 27, 2015, Oilers 3 @ Flames 5
"You get a first career goal! Aaaannnd you get a first career goal!" - Game #38 | Dec 29, 2015, Kings 5 @ Oilers 2
"If I saw Muzzin in a dark alley I'd offer him a can of fish." - Game #38 | Dec 29, 2015, Kings 5 @ Oilers 2
"Maybe they ran into each other trying to create one larger, better, more powerful defenseman." - Game #38 | Dec 29, 2015, Kings 5 @ Oilers 2
"I miss the 24 hours when we were in a playoff spot. Happy days, well, happy day." - Game #38 | Dec 29, 2015, Kings 5 @ Oilers 2
"To make Kassian's transition to Edmonton easier they should change the scoreboard at Rexall to display HARD PASSES ON GOAL instead of SHOTS." - Game #38 | Dec 29, 2015, Kings 5 @ Oilers 2
"The NHL shouldn't even allow the Oilers to trade for someone with a drinking problem. It's bad enough that you eventually get one while you're here." - Game #38 | Dec 29, 2015, Kings 5 @ Oilers 2
"The Oilers haven't won a game on New Years Eve in over THIRTY years." - Game #39 | Dec 31, 2015, Ducks 1 @ Oilers 0
"I hope ESPN does a 30 for 30 on this rebuild." - Game #40 | Jan 2, 2016, Coyotes 3 @ Oilers 4 (SO)
"Life ain't easy without McDeezy." - Game #21 | Nov 23, 2015, Oilers 0 @ Capitals 1
"Hall with 5 turnovers in 1 second." - Game #21 | Nov 23, 2015, Oilers 0 @ Capitals 1
"Boy, I hope they do another intermission feature on Jeff Skinner's figure skating days." - Game #22 | Nov 25, 2015, Oilers 1 @ Carolina 4
"Everyone is like OMG we just crossed the blue line, quick Taylor take this from me." - Game #22 | Nov 25, 2015, Oilers 1 @ Carolina 4
"Force the team to watch Scotiabank commercials until they compete." - Game #22 | Nov 25, 2015, Oilers 1 @ Carolina 4
"The CHED post game show sounds like an obit." - Game #22 | Nov 25, 2015, Oilers 1 @ Carolina 4
"The truth is there is no light at the end of the tunnel, there's just more tunnel." - Game #23 | Nov 27, 2015, Oilers 3 @ Red Wings 4 (OT)
"You're 17. It's not time to experiment with the melody of O' Canada." - Game #24 | Nov 28, 2015, Oilers 3 @ Penguins 2 (OT)
"Hopefully this nightmare will all be over once Jesus returns. I don't mean McDavid, I mean actual Jesus." - Game #25 | Nov 30, 2015, Oilers 0 @ Maple Leafs 3
"Started from the bottom... and we're still here." - Game #26 | Dec 2, 2015, Bruins 2 @ Oilers 3
"The Oilers haven't made the playoffs since the year Youtube was launched." - Game #26 | Dec 2, 2015, Bruins 2 @ Oilers 3
"Nilsson looks behind him and then snowmans? You mean snow angels Kevin. Snow angels." - Game #26 | Dec 2, 2015, Bruins 2 @ Oilers 3
"Can't blame the guys on the Chara goal. How could you spot a 9 foot tall barbarian cruising into the slot?" - Game #26 | Dec 2, 2015, Bruins 2 @ Oilers 3
"I haven't gotten out of bed on time since Connor got hurt." - Game #27 | Dec 4, 2015, Stars 1 @ Oilers 2 (OT)
"In Finland you're put into goalie camp moments after you leave the womb." - Game #27 | Dec 4, 2015, Stars 1 @ Oilers 2 (OT)
"Dallas Eakins was fired one year ago today. This morning the Oilers are in a playoff spot." - Game #31 | Dec 14, 2015, Oilers 3 @ Bruins 2 (OT)
"The last time the Oilers won in Boston was in 1996. Apple was in financial trouble. Twitter was something birds did. Google was a strange baby noise. Amazon was a bookstore. McDavid wasn't born yet." - Game #31 | Dec 14, 2015, Oilers 3 @ Bruins 2 (OT)
"This is what shoplifting must feel like." - Game #35 | Dec 22, 2015, Jets 1 @ Oilers 3
"Jordan Eberle has the physical resistance of a goal mooring." - Game #36 | Dec 26, 2015, Oilers 1 @ Canucks 2 (OT)
"It is actually illegal to say Gaudreau without saying Johnny first." - Game #37 | Dec 27, 2015, Oilers 3 @ Flames 5
"You get a first career goal! Aaaannnd you get a first career goal!" - Game #38 | Dec 29, 2015, Kings 5 @ Oilers 2
"If I saw Muzzin in a dark alley I'd offer him a can of fish." - Game #38 | Dec 29, 2015, Kings 5 @ Oilers 2
"Maybe they ran into each other trying to create one larger, better, more powerful defenseman." - Game #38 | Dec 29, 2015, Kings 5 @ Oilers 2
"I miss the 24 hours when we were in a playoff spot. Happy days, well, happy day." - Game #38 | Dec 29, 2015, Kings 5 @ Oilers 2
"To make Kassian's transition to Edmonton easier they should change the scoreboard at Rexall to display HARD PASSES ON GOAL instead of SHOTS." - Game #38 | Dec 29, 2015, Kings 5 @ Oilers 2
"The NHL shouldn't even allow the Oilers to trade for someone with a drinking problem. It's bad enough that you eventually get one while you're here." - Game #38 | Dec 29, 2015, Kings 5 @ Oilers 2
"The Oilers haven't won a game on New Years Eve in over THIRTY years." - Game #39 | Dec 31, 2015, Ducks 1 @ Oilers 0
"I hope ESPN does a 30 for 30 on this rebuild." - Game #40 | Jan 2, 2016, Coyotes 3 @ Oilers 4 (SO)
HockeyGuy1964
Registered User
- Oct 7, 2013
- 4,201
- 4,890
Just to let you know, I've been reading them. Still laughing, & crying a bit too, reliving some of these games through this.
ElysiumAB
Registered User
- Sep 12, 2013
- 5,916
- 5,571
Thanks! Good to know. I'll finish 2015-16 tomorrow, then I'll feel that era is truly behind us.
ujju2
Registered User
ElysiumAB
Registered User
- Sep 12, 2013
- 5,916
- 5,571
Oh, good. Makes me happy a few people are enjoying them and I'm not just sending them off into the ether.
I'll finish up tomorrow. The current season is still ongoing on the site, but losing tends to be funny, winning is just awesome.
Will definitely take a winning hockey team and fewer funny quotes. It'll be nice, in a way, to be done after this season.
Cheers guys.
I'll finish up tomorrow. The current season is still ongoing on the site, but losing tends to be funny, winning is just awesome.
Will definitely take a winning hockey team and fewer funny quotes. It'll be nice, in a way, to be done after this season.
Cheers guys.
Last edited:
ChokeOnOil
Lambs to Lions
ChokeOnOil
Lambs to Lions
The Batman
Registered Superhero
ElysiumAB
Registered User
- Sep 12, 2013
- 5,916
- 5,571
2015-2016 games 41-60:
"Less intense than 2006." - Game #41 | Jan 4, 2016, Hurricanes 0 @ Oilers 1
"Only 7 more losses until McDavid comes back." - Game #44 | Jan 12, 2016, Oilers 3 @ Coyotes 4 (OT)
"This team is a 15 game winning streak away from finishing 2nd in the worst division in the league." - Game #44 | Jan 12, 2016, Oilers 3 @ Coyotes 4 (OT)
"The Oilers are 5 for their last 50 on the powerplay. F***!" - Game #44 | Jan 12, 2016, Oilers 3 @ Coyotes 4 (OT)
"They must have dropped those hats from the rafters because there's no way that there's that many people there." - Game #44 | Jan 12, 2016, Oilers 3 @ Coyotes 4 (OT)
"The loss doesn't matter. Nothing matters." - Game #44 | Jan 12, 2016, Oilers 3 @ Coyotes 4 (OT)
"I'm surprised they don't just refer to us as the orange team." - Game #46 | Jan 16, 2016, Flames 1 @ Oilers 2 (SO)
"Is this arena Family & Friends Only?" - Game #47 | Jan 18, 2016, Oilers 4 @ Panthers 2
"I've actually been to this arena before. It's rather nice. Empty, but nice." - Game #47 | Jan 18, 2016, Oilers 4 @ Panthers 2
"Woodcroft is drawing up the powerplay? May as well just head to the airport now." - Game #48 | Jan 19, 2016, Oilers 4 @ Lightning 6
"That pass is what we refer to as a garbage laser." - Game #48 | Jan 19, 2016, Oilers 4 @ Lightning 6
"I heard Brian Boyle might be in the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie." - Game #48 | Jan 19, 2016, Oilers 4 @ Lightning 6
"We have more injured first overall picks than any other team has first overall picks on their roster." - Game #48 | Jan 19, 2016, Oilers 4 @ Lightning 6
"I'd settle for a player like Bure... Valeri Bure. Hell, Candace Cameron-Bure might be an improvement." - Game #49 | Jan 21, 2016, Oilers 2 @ Stars 3
"My life story will be three chapters. Birth, Oilers, Suicide." - Game #49 | Jan 21, 2016, Oilers 2 @ Stars 3
"This team is all cookies, no milk." - Game #49 | Jan 21, 2016, Oilers 2 @ Stars 3
"Gretzky/Messier: 99/11. Never forget." - All-Star Break | Jan 31, 2016
"If you are getting a Messier back tattoo and it isn’t of him and Gary Coleman, you are truly a monster." - All-Star Break | Jan 31, 2016
"Now I'm always scared Connor will get hurt. It's official. I am Connor McDavid's mother." - Connor Returns | Game #51 | Feb 2, 2016, Blue Jackets 1 @ Oilers 4
"Who created a dance version of Eye of the Tiger? Satan?" - Connor Returns | Game #51 | Feb 2, 2016, Blue Jackets 1 @ Oilers 4
"I stained my jersey tonight. Not saying with what." - Game #52 | Feb 4, 2016, Oilers 7 @ Senators 2
"I had the strangest dream, and you were there! And you were there!" - Game #52 | Feb 4, 2016, Oilers 7 @ Senators 2
"This game has day drunk written all over it." - Game #53 | Feb 6, 2016, Oilers 1 @ Canadiens 5
"Bob Cole is slowly evolving into a turtle." - Game #53 | Feb 6, 2016, Oilers 1 @ Canadiens 5
"I see that the Islander's head coach decided to forego the private plane and teleport here directly from 1986." - Game #54 | Feb 7, 2016, Oilers 1 @ Islanders 8
"After the game I sat in front of the TV for an hour, just watching the Sportsnet logo bounce around the screen." - Game #54 | Feb 7, 2016, Oilers 1 @ Islanders 8
"I'm surprised Hall and Eberle are not pro golfers." - Game #55 | Feb 9, 2016, Oilers 1 @ Devils 2
"Time for a players only meeting about the players only meeting." - Game #55 | Feb 9, 2016, Oilers 1 @ Devils 2
"If Babcock coached here he would have killed at least two players by now." - Game #56 | Feb 11, 2016, Maple Leafs 2 @ Oilers 5
"A TEN minute goal review? Cancel the game, everyone loses." - Game #58 | Feb 16, 2016, Ducks 5 @ Oilers 3
"You can tell the score of the game just by looking at Taylor Hall's posture." - Game #60 | Feb 20, 2016, Avalanche 3 @ Oilers 2
"Less intense than 2006." - Game #41 | Jan 4, 2016, Hurricanes 0 @ Oilers 1
"Only 7 more losses until McDavid comes back." - Game #44 | Jan 12, 2016, Oilers 3 @ Coyotes 4 (OT)
"This team is a 15 game winning streak away from finishing 2nd in the worst division in the league." - Game #44 | Jan 12, 2016, Oilers 3 @ Coyotes 4 (OT)
"The Oilers are 5 for their last 50 on the powerplay. F***!" - Game #44 | Jan 12, 2016, Oilers 3 @ Coyotes 4 (OT)
"They must have dropped those hats from the rafters because there's no way that there's that many people there." - Game #44 | Jan 12, 2016, Oilers 3 @ Coyotes 4 (OT)
"The loss doesn't matter. Nothing matters." - Game #44 | Jan 12, 2016, Oilers 3 @ Coyotes 4 (OT)
"I'm surprised they don't just refer to us as the orange team." - Game #46 | Jan 16, 2016, Flames 1 @ Oilers 2 (SO)
"Is this arena Family & Friends Only?" - Game #47 | Jan 18, 2016, Oilers 4 @ Panthers 2
"I've actually been to this arena before. It's rather nice. Empty, but nice." - Game #47 | Jan 18, 2016, Oilers 4 @ Panthers 2
"Woodcroft is drawing up the powerplay? May as well just head to the airport now." - Game #48 | Jan 19, 2016, Oilers 4 @ Lightning 6
"That pass is what we refer to as a garbage laser." - Game #48 | Jan 19, 2016, Oilers 4 @ Lightning 6
"I heard Brian Boyle might be in the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie." - Game #48 | Jan 19, 2016, Oilers 4 @ Lightning 6
"We have more injured first overall picks than any other team has first overall picks on their roster." - Game #48 | Jan 19, 2016, Oilers 4 @ Lightning 6
"I'd settle for a player like Bure... Valeri Bure. Hell, Candace Cameron-Bure might be an improvement." - Game #49 | Jan 21, 2016, Oilers 2 @ Stars 3
"My life story will be three chapters. Birth, Oilers, Suicide." - Game #49 | Jan 21, 2016, Oilers 2 @ Stars 3
"This team is all cookies, no milk." - Game #49 | Jan 21, 2016, Oilers 2 @ Stars 3
"Gretzky/Messier: 99/11. Never forget." - All-Star Break | Jan 31, 2016
"If you are getting a Messier back tattoo and it isn’t of him and Gary Coleman, you are truly a monster." - All-Star Break | Jan 31, 2016
"Now I'm always scared Connor will get hurt. It's official. I am Connor McDavid's mother." - Connor Returns | Game #51 | Feb 2, 2016, Blue Jackets 1 @ Oilers 4
"Who created a dance version of Eye of the Tiger? Satan?" - Connor Returns | Game #51 | Feb 2, 2016, Blue Jackets 1 @ Oilers 4
"I stained my jersey tonight. Not saying with what." - Game #52 | Feb 4, 2016, Oilers 7 @ Senators 2
"I had the strangest dream, and you were there! And you were there!" - Game #52 | Feb 4, 2016, Oilers 7 @ Senators 2
"This game has day drunk written all over it." - Game #53 | Feb 6, 2016, Oilers 1 @ Canadiens 5
"Bob Cole is slowly evolving into a turtle." - Game #53 | Feb 6, 2016, Oilers 1 @ Canadiens 5
"I see that the Islander's head coach decided to forego the private plane and teleport here directly from 1986." - Game #54 | Feb 7, 2016, Oilers 1 @ Islanders 8
"After the game I sat in front of the TV for an hour, just watching the Sportsnet logo bounce around the screen." - Game #54 | Feb 7, 2016, Oilers 1 @ Islanders 8
"I'm surprised Hall and Eberle are not pro golfers." - Game #55 | Feb 9, 2016, Oilers 1 @ Devils 2
"Time for a players only meeting about the players only meeting." - Game #55 | Feb 9, 2016, Oilers 1 @ Devils 2
"If Babcock coached here he would have killed at least two players by now." - Game #56 | Feb 11, 2016, Maple Leafs 2 @ Oilers 5
"A TEN minute goal review? Cancel the game, everyone loses." - Game #58 | Feb 16, 2016, Ducks 5 @ Oilers 3
"You can tell the score of the game just by looking at Taylor Hall's posture." - Game #60 | Feb 20, 2016, Avalanche 3 @ Oilers 2
NeverForget06
Here we go again !
ElysiumAB
Registered User
- Sep 12, 2013
- 5,916
- 5,571
This is it!
2015-2016 games 61-82:
"The Oilers are like going to my favorite restaurant, but the only item listed on the menu is Sadness." - Game #61 | Feb 24, 2016, Senators 4 @ Oilers 1
"Even as a newborn Dion Phaneuf looked like kind of a dick." - Game #61 | Feb 24, 2016, Senators 4 @ Oilers 1
"I've taken more shots this period than the Oilers." - Game #61 | Feb 24, 2016, Senators 4 @ Oilers 1
"Who taped Eberle's stick? A family of mice?" - Game #62 | Feb 25, 2016, Oilers 1 @ Kings 2
"Don't talk Corsi with me right now." - Game #63 | Feb 26, 2016, Oilers 1 @ Ducks 2 (OT)
"That Buffalo arena looks like a place you could get mugged." - Game #65 | Mar 1, 2016, Oilers 2 @ Sabres 1 (OT)
"McDavid scored two goals more than 60 minutes apart. I think he broke the game." - Game #65 | Mar 1, 2016, Oilers 2 @ Sabres 1 (OT)
"Can someone send Taylor Hall a cake with 'Stop Yelling ****!' written on it?" - Game #66 | Mar 3, 2016, Oilers 4 @ Flyers 0
"Kassian is adorable when he smiles." - Game #66 | Mar 3, 2016, Oilers 4 @ Flyers 0
"Maroon's namebar looks weird. That is definitely an upside W being used for the M." - Game #66 | Mar 3, 2016, Oilers 4 @ Flyers 0
"Gudas looks exactly like if Taylor Hall got fat and grew a beard." - Game #66 | Mar 3, 2016, Oilers 4 @ Flyers 0
"The Oilers could win the remaining 15 games of the season and still would not make the playoffs." - Game #67 | Mar 4, 2016, Oilers 3 @ Blue Jackets 6
"There's a hockey team in Ohio?" - Game #67 | Mar 4, 2016, Oilers 3 @ Blue Jackets 6
"The goaltending is a concern." - Game #67 | Mar 4, 2016, Oilers 3 @ Blue Jackets 6
"Maybe if Byfuglien hit the ****ing salad bar once in awhile Davidson wouldn't have had to leave the rink in a goddamn wheelchair." - Game #68 | Mar 6, 2016, Oilers 2 @ Jets 1
"I'm 'hate watching' this." - Game #70 | Mar 10, 2016, Oilers 2 @ Wild 1
"The Wild made Dan Akroyd their head coach? Good hire." - Game #70 | Mar 10, 2016, Oilers 2 @ Wild 1
"Why take the body when you can just wave your stick a little?" - Game #71 | Mar 12, 2016, Coyotes 4 @ Oilers 0
"Being an Oilers fan is like a religion. We all have faith that things will get better, but probably not until after we're dead." - Game #71 | Mar 12, 2016, Coyotes 4 @ Oilers 0
"Cancel Rogers place." - Game #71 | Mar 12, 2016, Coyotes 4 @ Oilers 0
"I heard rumors that John Candy had his pierogies shipped in from Winnipeg." - Game #72 | Mar 14, 2016, Predators 3 @ Oilers 2
"Some ******* is impersonating Randy Savage in the seventh row again." - Game #73 | Mar 16, 2016, Blues 4 @ Oilers 6
"Kassian looked at that guy like he wanted to kill him and then eat the body." - Game #73 | Mar 16, 2016, Blues 4 @ Oilers 6
"There must be thousands of official Oiler pucks on the shelves of players all around the world that have 'First NHL Goal' written on them." - Game #73 | Mar 16, 2016, Blues 4 @ Oilers 6
"All of these songs sound like stepping on a chew toy." - Game #74 | Mar 18, 2016, Canucks 0 @ Oilers 2
"I pretend when the cameras go off that Gene turns into a maniac, yelling at the goal horn guy, putting smokes out on Spector's neck..." - Game #74 | Mar 18, 2016, Canucks 0 @ Oilers 2
"I think they might only play the howl once but it echoes because of all the empty seats." - Game #76 | Mar 22, 2016, Oilers 2 @ Coyotes 4
"Great, I get to listen to Tyson Nash talk to some other dope while I watch the Coyotes trap their ****s off for 54 minutes." - Game #76 | Mar 22, 2016, Oilers 2 @ Coyotes 4
"Ti Domi rote a bok?" - Game #76 | Mar 22, 2016, Oilers 2 @ Coyotes 4
"Tie Domi wrote a book? A word one or a coloring one?" - Game #76 | Mar 22, 2016, Oilers 2 @ Coyotes 4
"I'm not convinced Maroon knows his intermission interviews are on TV." - Game #77 | Mar 24, 2016, Oilers 6 @ Sharks 3
"Is 'Frantic, Timid, and Small' too negative for a line name?" - Game #78 | Mar 26, 2016, Oilers 4 @ Kings 6
"Corey Perry with that dead stare into space, just thinking about lasagna and cigarettes." - Game #79 | Mar 28, 2016, Ducks 2 @ Oilers 1
"I've been a fan of Jay Baruchel since Popular Mechanics for Kids." - Game #80 | April 2, 2016, Flames 5 @ Oilers 0
"What percentage of Giordano's face is eyebrows? 70-ish?" - Game #80 | April 2, 2016, Flames 5 @ Oilers 0
"Burn this arena to the ground. Play the last game in Sherwood Park." - Game #80 | April 2, 2016, Flames 5 @ Oilers 0
"Brian Burke looks like a porn baron." - Game #80 | April 2, 2016, Flames 5 @ Oilers 0
"It’s always nice to know in advance what’s going to happen in my night terrors." - Game #80 | April 2, 2016, Flames 5 @ Oilers 0
"Groundhog Day. Year Nine." - Game #80 | April 2, 2016, Flames 5 @ Oilers 0
"Even my neutral emotions produce tears now." - Game #81 | April 6, 2016 | Last Game at Rexall | Canucks 0 @ Oilers 3
"In memory of one of hockey's greatest dynasty teams, we now present you with the worst display of professional hockey you will ever witness." - Game #81 | April 6, 2016 | Last Game at Rexall | Canucks 0 @ Oilers 3
"Better hockey dog, Bark Messier or Spaniel Sedin?" - Game #81 | April 6, 2016 | Last Game at Rexall | Canucks 0 @ Oilers 3
"Yakupov showing off his elite ability to creating scoring chances for both teams." - Game #81 | April 6, 2016 | Last Game at Rexall | Canucks 0 @ Oilers 3
"1st rule of Plight Club, you can never leave Plight Club." - Game #81 | April 6, 2016 | Last Game at Rexall | Canucks 0 @ Oilers 3
"Time to start growing the annual Draft Lottery beard." - Game #82 | April 9, 2016, Oilers 3 @ Canucks 4 (OT)
"It's time to watch 16 teams I don't care about try and win it all." - Game #82 | April 9, 2016, Oilers 3 @ Canucks 4 (OT)
2015-2016 games 61-82:
"The Oilers are like going to my favorite restaurant, but the only item listed on the menu is Sadness." - Game #61 | Feb 24, 2016, Senators 4 @ Oilers 1
"Even as a newborn Dion Phaneuf looked like kind of a dick." - Game #61 | Feb 24, 2016, Senators 4 @ Oilers 1
"I've taken more shots this period than the Oilers." - Game #61 | Feb 24, 2016, Senators 4 @ Oilers 1
"Who taped Eberle's stick? A family of mice?" - Game #62 | Feb 25, 2016, Oilers 1 @ Kings 2
"Don't talk Corsi with me right now." - Game #63 | Feb 26, 2016, Oilers 1 @ Ducks 2 (OT)
"That Buffalo arena looks like a place you could get mugged." - Game #65 | Mar 1, 2016, Oilers 2 @ Sabres 1 (OT)
"McDavid scored two goals more than 60 minutes apart. I think he broke the game." - Game #65 | Mar 1, 2016, Oilers 2 @ Sabres 1 (OT)
"Can someone send Taylor Hall a cake with 'Stop Yelling ****!' written on it?" - Game #66 | Mar 3, 2016, Oilers 4 @ Flyers 0
"Kassian is adorable when he smiles." - Game #66 | Mar 3, 2016, Oilers 4 @ Flyers 0
"Maroon's namebar looks weird. That is definitely an upside W being used for the M." - Game #66 | Mar 3, 2016, Oilers 4 @ Flyers 0
"Gudas looks exactly like if Taylor Hall got fat and grew a beard." - Game #66 | Mar 3, 2016, Oilers 4 @ Flyers 0
"The Oilers could win the remaining 15 games of the season and still would not make the playoffs." - Game #67 | Mar 4, 2016, Oilers 3 @ Blue Jackets 6
"There's a hockey team in Ohio?" - Game #67 | Mar 4, 2016, Oilers 3 @ Blue Jackets 6
"The goaltending is a concern." - Game #67 | Mar 4, 2016, Oilers 3 @ Blue Jackets 6
"Maybe if Byfuglien hit the ****ing salad bar once in awhile Davidson wouldn't have had to leave the rink in a goddamn wheelchair." - Game #68 | Mar 6, 2016, Oilers 2 @ Jets 1
"I'm 'hate watching' this." - Game #70 | Mar 10, 2016, Oilers 2 @ Wild 1
"The Wild made Dan Akroyd their head coach? Good hire." - Game #70 | Mar 10, 2016, Oilers 2 @ Wild 1
"Why take the body when you can just wave your stick a little?" - Game #71 | Mar 12, 2016, Coyotes 4 @ Oilers 0
"Being an Oilers fan is like a religion. We all have faith that things will get better, but probably not until after we're dead." - Game #71 | Mar 12, 2016, Coyotes 4 @ Oilers 0
"Cancel Rogers place." - Game #71 | Mar 12, 2016, Coyotes 4 @ Oilers 0
"I heard rumors that John Candy had his pierogies shipped in from Winnipeg." - Game #72 | Mar 14, 2016, Predators 3 @ Oilers 2
"Some ******* is impersonating Randy Savage in the seventh row again." - Game #73 | Mar 16, 2016, Blues 4 @ Oilers 6
"Kassian looked at that guy like he wanted to kill him and then eat the body." - Game #73 | Mar 16, 2016, Blues 4 @ Oilers 6
"There must be thousands of official Oiler pucks on the shelves of players all around the world that have 'First NHL Goal' written on them." - Game #73 | Mar 16, 2016, Blues 4 @ Oilers 6
"All of these songs sound like stepping on a chew toy." - Game #74 | Mar 18, 2016, Canucks 0 @ Oilers 2
"I pretend when the cameras go off that Gene turns into a maniac, yelling at the goal horn guy, putting smokes out on Spector's neck..." - Game #74 | Mar 18, 2016, Canucks 0 @ Oilers 2
"I think they might only play the howl once but it echoes because of all the empty seats." - Game #76 | Mar 22, 2016, Oilers 2 @ Coyotes 4
"Great, I get to listen to Tyson Nash talk to some other dope while I watch the Coyotes trap their ****s off for 54 minutes." - Game #76 | Mar 22, 2016, Oilers 2 @ Coyotes 4
"Ti Domi rote a bok?" - Game #76 | Mar 22, 2016, Oilers 2 @ Coyotes 4
"Tie Domi wrote a book? A word one or a coloring one?" - Game #76 | Mar 22, 2016, Oilers 2 @ Coyotes 4
"I'm not convinced Maroon knows his intermission interviews are on TV." - Game #77 | Mar 24, 2016, Oilers 6 @ Sharks 3
"Is 'Frantic, Timid, and Small' too negative for a line name?" - Game #78 | Mar 26, 2016, Oilers 4 @ Kings 6
"Corey Perry with that dead stare into space, just thinking about lasagna and cigarettes." - Game #79 | Mar 28, 2016, Ducks 2 @ Oilers 1
"I've been a fan of Jay Baruchel since Popular Mechanics for Kids." - Game #80 | April 2, 2016, Flames 5 @ Oilers 0
"What percentage of Giordano's face is eyebrows? 70-ish?" - Game #80 | April 2, 2016, Flames 5 @ Oilers 0
"Burn this arena to the ground. Play the last game in Sherwood Park." - Game #80 | April 2, 2016, Flames 5 @ Oilers 0
"Brian Burke looks like a porn baron." - Game #80 | April 2, 2016, Flames 5 @ Oilers 0
"It’s always nice to know in advance what’s going to happen in my night terrors." - Game #80 | April 2, 2016, Flames 5 @ Oilers 0
"Groundhog Day. Year Nine." - Game #80 | April 2, 2016, Flames 5 @ Oilers 0
"Even my neutral emotions produce tears now." - Game #81 | April 6, 2016 | Last Game at Rexall | Canucks 0 @ Oilers 3
"In memory of one of hockey's greatest dynasty teams, we now present you with the worst display of professional hockey you will ever witness." - Game #81 | April 6, 2016 | Last Game at Rexall | Canucks 0 @ Oilers 3
"Better hockey dog, Bark Messier or Spaniel Sedin?" - Game #81 | April 6, 2016 | Last Game at Rexall | Canucks 0 @ Oilers 3
"Yakupov showing off his elite ability to creating scoring chances for both teams." - Game #81 | April 6, 2016 | Last Game at Rexall | Canucks 0 @ Oilers 3
"1st rule of Plight Club, you can never leave Plight Club." - Game #81 | April 6, 2016 | Last Game at Rexall | Canucks 0 @ Oilers 3
"Time to start growing the annual Draft Lottery beard." - Game #82 | April 9, 2016, Oilers 3 @ Canucks 4 (OT)
"It's time to watch 16 teams I don't care about try and win it all." - Game #82 | April 9, 2016, Oilers 3 @ Canucks 4 (OT)
"Israel has fought four wars since the Oilers last made the playoffs."
"Since the Oilers last made the playoffs four elements have been added to the Periodic Table."
"Since the Oilers last made the playoffs Twitter, Tumblr, Pintrest, Google+, Instagram, and Twitch were launched."
Let's go!
"Since the Oilers last made the playoffs four elements have been added to the Periodic Table."
"Since the Oilers last made the playoffs Twitter, Tumblr, Pintrest, Google+, Instagram, and Twitch were launched."
Let's go!
czar99
Registered User
ChokeOnOil
Lambs to Lions
Thanks again, E. These have been great to read and I've book marked the site for anytime I need a laugh.
ElysiumAB
Registered User
- Sep 12, 2013
- 5,916
- 5,571
Thought I'd post some of the quotes from this year that I found worth saving, even though I stopped updating the site since they made the playoffs last year...
That was the dirtiest play since Germany invaded Poland.
You can't drink all day if you don't start first thing...
This game had everything... pucks, skates, sticks...
Everyone is talking about McDavid vs Kesler but nobody is talking about George Clooney. Is he ready for twins?
Perfect, a four and a half hour anthem to start the game.
Forecheck. Backcheck. Paycheque.
Watching a man fly a kite tied to anal beads in his rectum was a real wake up call for me.
The Leafs won a whole bunch of championships when there were negative two teams in the league.
If I started a band I'd name it Anaphylactic Cock.
I saw 4 random guys starting a fight with a guy in a Flames jersey. I stopped to help, there's no way he could take all 5 of us.
If China is 8 hours ahead of us why didn't they let us know the McRib is coming back?
We're using thundercunt as a verb now?
GTA seems like a terrible place to live. My uncle moved to GTA V once and he got shot, like, a bunch.
Whoever said the offside challenge would suck the life out of the game was as right as my jerk hand.
I threw my internet into the lake.
Kevin Bieksa looks like the less gifted brother of everyone I know.
First degree brainslaughter.
McDavid is legally not allowed to skate in a school zone.
This is the most frustrated I've been since I tried to find my black cat in a dark room.
Someone get Cujo on the horn he's probably still got it.
You have to admire Coyotes fans, they turned their Subreddit into being about actual coyotes.
Becoming emotionally invested in this team is the worst life decision I've ever made.
Knock it off Freddie. We're down 2 goals, this is no time for a sing-along.
Hey, we had a pretty good team 32 years ago. Remember?
I heard all Devils fans ski wearing jeans.
Duck, Duck, Noose.
The Oilers always lose the games that have commentary available in Finnish.
Bad news. The Oilers are 30th overall. Good news? There are 31 teams now.
That was the dirtiest play since Germany invaded Poland.
You can't drink all day if you don't start first thing...
This game had everything... pucks, skates, sticks...
Everyone is talking about McDavid vs Kesler but nobody is talking about George Clooney. Is he ready for twins?
Perfect, a four and a half hour anthem to start the game.
Forecheck. Backcheck. Paycheque.
Watching a man fly a kite tied to anal beads in his rectum was a real wake up call for me.
The Leafs won a whole bunch of championships when there were negative two teams in the league.
If I started a band I'd name it Anaphylactic Cock.
I saw 4 random guys starting a fight with a guy in a Flames jersey. I stopped to help, there's no way he could take all 5 of us.
If China is 8 hours ahead of us why didn't they let us know the McRib is coming back?
We're using thundercunt as a verb now?
GTA seems like a terrible place to live. My uncle moved to GTA V once and he got shot, like, a bunch.
Whoever said the offside challenge would suck the life out of the game was as right as my jerk hand.
I threw my internet into the lake.
Kevin Bieksa looks like the less gifted brother of everyone I know.
First degree brainslaughter.
McDavid is legally not allowed to skate in a school zone.
This is the most frustrated I've been since I tried to find my black cat in a dark room.
Someone get Cujo on the horn he's probably still got it.
You have to admire Coyotes fans, they turned their Subreddit into being about actual coyotes.
Becoming emotionally invested in this team is the worst life decision I've ever made.
Knock it off Freddie. We're down 2 goals, this is no time for a sing-along.
Hey, we had a pretty good team 32 years ago. Remember?
I heard all Devils fans ski wearing jeans.
Duck, Duck, Noose.
The Oilers always lose the games that have commentary available in Finnish.
Bad news. The Oilers are 30th overall. Good news? There are 31 teams now.
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