All 3 risen from the grave just in time for Game 1.
f*** Vegas.
Isn’t weird how they all have organ issues why they were put on LTIR?
McCrimmonal will be running out of organ injuries to use and will have to resort to googling random tissues and tendons next February.
McCrimmonal: “Stoneyzies, here’s your injury. You ruptured your ‘Palmaris Longus’ muscle in both hands. You’ll be on LTIR until the day after game 82 again.”
Stone: “The f*** is a palmaris longus?”
McCrimmonal: “It’s a muscle that affects grip strength. It’s found in primates and is missing in about 20% of people. You kinda look like an orangutan to begin with so that’s the injury you have. Wear slings and some other shit. See you in April. Remember, you’re not supposed to have any grip strength so don’t get caught with your dick in your hands. Literally and metaphorically. Pietriesiez, you’re next. You tore your ‘mesentry’ organ. I know you’re gonna ask what that is. It’s a recently discovered organ that connects all your guts to your stomach wall. There’s no other known function other than that. Same deal, don’t get caught bending over and stuff. See you in April.
Here’s both of your doctor records and surgery reports, you already had the procedures done so put this shit on, Stony (reaches into a box below his desk and tosses Stone a ratty, moth eaten sling). And Pies, the boys are coming with a stretcher for you. Here’s an IV bag to tape to your hand.”
Pietrangelo: “….Uh Boss, this says colostomy bag on it.”
McCrimmonal: “f***, that’s even better. Dangle it down by your side, here’s some chocolate pudding to put inside it. Really gotta sell this one.”
good luck with that.
