The violent crime rate was cut in half in the 90s without any meaningful reform, gun control or otherwise. Crime is socioeconomic in nature. When people able to attain an education, have healthcare (including access to mental health resources), have social mobility, aren't incarcerated over minor offenses, are able to be gainfully employed etc... they tend to lead happy, peaceful lives. The focus needs to be on improving society as a whole. That has historically been the thing that produces the change we desire so much, not poorly thought out legislation targeting any one thing.
Your military friend (if he exists) is an idiot and not a good example of responsible ownership. A safety engages a mechanical disconnect in most firearms that makes it several orders of magnitude safer to handle. To the point where most everyone in the military is trained to engage the safety when not actively engaging a target or sweeping through an area where the fastest possible reaction is required. Negligent and accidental discharges are a thing, even among the highly trained, especially under duress. I question his existence because you basically just paraphrased the movie Blackhawk Down.
We don't regulate firearms anywhere near as much as we do cars. It's pathetic. Go to your local range and witness how many people are totally unqualified to be handling firearms, then realize there's nothing stopping them from buying one (or many) in most states beyond a simple background check. There's no licensing requirement, no requirement that you have proper storage, no handling training and ongoing skills maintenance requirement, no training on the laws and use of force scenarios etc... We don't even track transactions of firearms as well as we do cars. It's a compete joke. I despise the NRA as a gun owner and I absolutely hate that the loudest, dumbest owners whine so fiercely over 'muh freedums' anytime basic measures - many of which have proven successful in several states - are proposed by legislators. I fear nothing will change because both sides are so entrenched in their binary ideals that there's no real chance for compromise at this point.
To address RT's point: In a free society, nothing guarantees safety. But you can improve your odds. Let's do that.