GDT: 71 | "Cursed by the Great One" | Oilers @ Coyotes | March 16, 8 PM | SN/SN-1

[ConnorMcMullet]

Oilers @ Coyotes
8:00 PM
SN/SN-1
#71

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The Truth of the Curse

There is something I just wanted to clear up with everyone. There have been rumblings around HFOil that I have cursed the Oilers. Others say it was @Cloned, or blame it on polls/awful GDT tunes. I'm here to tell you that they are all wrong. And there is no point in trying good luck charms like no-effort GDTs or bounce.gif. We are cursed and there is nothing we can do about it. But I have found the truth.

We have been cursed by none other than
Wayne Gretzky.
The Great One.
The GOAT.
#99

Gretzky was traded in 1988 and was absolutely heartbroken. No doubt he wanted to make sure the Oilers management regretted it and knew they had made a mistake. Unfortunately for him, the Oilers won the cup in 1990. It was then that the Great One knew he had to do something and cursed the team forever. His brother, Kieth, is the inside man to do Wayne's dirty work for him.

That said, I can understand if you're skeptical. So I'm going to prove once and for all that Gretzky isn't the hero that we all thought he was. Do you remember the Periodic Table that was so helpful when we analyzed the OBC's phrase "something in the water"? We're going to use it again.

Since Gretzky's curse, the Oilers have been able to do nothing but tank, whether accidental or on purpose. Either way, we're going to take a closer look at it:

Tank =

Tantalium, Nitrogen, and Potassium. Atomic numbers 73, 7, and 19.

Don't see it? The sum of their atomic numbers is 99.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Projected Lines



Lucic - McDavid - Kassian
Rieder - Draisaitl - Chiasson
Khaira - RNH - Gagner
Currie - Cave - Rattie

Klefbom - Larsson
Nurse - Russell
Sekera - Benning

Koskinen



Keller - Dvorak - Panik
Hinostroza - Richardson - Grabner
Galchenyuk - Kempe - Fischer
Crouse - Cousins - Archibald

Ekman-Larsson - Hjalmarsson
Demers - Goligoski
Lyubushkin - Oesterle

Kuemper

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Click to read more...

 

[Cloned]

At first I thought the GDT title was a reference to being cursed by me...

But then the post got even better!

 

[Llamamoto]

 

[5 Mins 4 Ftg]

That’s next level brilliance right there.

Coyotes dummy the Oilers tonight 5-2 w/2 eng. Oilers get scored on early in the first, sleep through the 2nd prior to waking up and scoring 2 in the 3rd but too little too late and the Coyotes score 2 eng.

Hitchcock says no biggie, we just have to win the next 11.

 

[Tyrolean]

Looks like the North Korean Flag.

 

[I am the Liquor]

 

[The Batman]

The Truth of the Curse
There is something I just wanted to clear up with everyone. There have been rumblings around HFOil that I have cursed the Oilers. Others say it was @Cloned, or blame it on polls/awful GDT tunes. I'm here to tell you that they are all wrong. And there is no point in trying good luck charms like no-effort GDTs or bounce.gif. We are cursed and there is nothing we can do about it. But I have found the truth.
We have been cursed by none other than
Wayne Gretzky.
The Great One.
The GOAT.
#99

We are blaming the curse on the Great One now? I am almost at loss for words. Almost.

The GDT curse’s effect on the team has been eating away at my very core. The OP's preposterous deflection (Wayne Gretzky, really?) has provided me with the excuse to get this off my chest. This is the story of the curse and how four different men turned cruel.

"That's how it starts. The fever, the rage, the feeling of powerlessness that turns good men cruel." —Alfred Pennyworth

***

We need to go back to a time when the season was young, the Oilers had a winning record and things were all right in Oil Country. It was December 2018 and the team was in the midst of a strong start to the season. There was a feeling of hope, an unfamiliarity in a decade of darkness. The word "playoffs" was actually in some Oilers fans’ vocabulary.

Along came game 34. Or, more appropriately, game day thread no. 34—the Odious Bringer of the Curse’s first GDT of the season. Let’s call him "OBC" to keep it simple. No. 34 birthed a poll cursing all GDT polls henceforth. It was the thread that jinxed a hockey team's season.

OBC went on to create GDTs 35, 36 and 37. Four consecutive threads and four consecutive Oilers losses. All were flawed. The threads had incorrect numerals: two 35s were created and 37 was misrepresented as 36. The false 35, which should be no. 36, was not posted on game day as is tradition. False 36 desecrated post date tradition, too, and included another blasphemous poll.

The sacrilegious GDT construction was an insult to the hockey gods. Beginning with no. 34, the team went on to lose 7 of the next 8 games. That turned into an atrocious 22 losses in 31 games—a 29% win rate. The team never recovered.

(Some readers may have noticed the win rate is Leon Draisaitl’s #29. This exact match is no coincidence. Like all things in life there is balance. The team was cursed, and so an individual was blessed. The Oilers are a lottery team with potentially two 100-point players.)

***

Hot, blonde, and fit. No, that’s not a description of the next poster of whom I name "the Joker," but his avatar. This nutcase gleefully attaches cursed polls to nearly every damn game day thread. That is a lot of polls.

But it doesn’t end there. It's never enough for psychopaths who only want to watch the oil burn. Oft included are awful tunes by the likes of the Backstreet Boys and Halsey. The sadist is nothing if not consistent; another recurrence is breaking the unwritten HF-Oilers commandment: "thou shalt not make the GDT before game day."

Chains of losses piled high under his reign. At one point the hockey gods took back their only begotten son for several games (due to "suspension" and "illness"? No, my sweet summer child, it’s the damned GDT curse) before returning McJesus to us. I helplessly spammed my forensic audits and when that failed I struck him down with surgical precision. I became as cruel as the Joker and still I could not thwart the madman as he is my perfect adversary.

***

A poster tried to intervene. Marked by sky blue, he was a powerful figure. A cursory glance may attribute the sense of honor, too. But I knew “Miranda” for another villain. The signs were there.

Bounce.gif. It was another seemingly unstoppable force like TOPPEP. Or, that rallying call to give our energies to the team. Before bounce.gif, we were limping and had only won 1 game in the last dozen. That was when a poster came and thrust a GIF toward us. The forum erupted with excitement. Elation hung thick in the air. Bounce.gif had gone two for two, a pleasurable outcome, and an actual win streak was erected.

Miranda banned bounce.gif under the guise of forum rules and PG-13. Without bounce.gif we succumbed to the Predators in the very next game. That was then followed by a spanking at the hands of the Leafs. It was clear that the team would not slide into the playoffs nor go on a deep run. Miranda not only deflated our hopes but self-admittedly murdered the Condor’s 17-game win streak.

***

For many Oilers fans the dream of making the playoffs has already ended. For some, like me, it was never considered a possibility. For an even smaller contingent, hope remains alive until the math says otherwise. But, there is another fervent group who will do anything to see their team win. This time they have done the unthinkable. They* have summoned the OBC to create this very GDT.

To be continued.

***

*I'm referring to only two posters here. Can you guess their names? Yes, that is correct—"Miranda" and the Joker. Indeed, you don't need to be the world's greatest detective to see how these three men are linked in more ways then one. This is the HF-Oilers version of Russia-Trump. Oh, and by "win" I meant winning the draft lottery.

***

The official Oilers Nut Shot Watch has begun:

Game 69: Oscar Klefbom
Game 70: Jujhar Khaira
Game 71: ?

(The nut shots is due to the curse obviously.)

***

To: Peter Chiarelli

From: Oilers fans

***

(Shameless plug though most people probably won’t reach the end of this post lol. I’m working on a website called OILERZ for Oilers vids, clips, GIFs, graphics. Would really appreciate if you could subscribe to my mailing list. It’s just so I can alert you when the site launches. If that ever happens heh. Coding/designing it from the ground up so it will take a while. Thanks.)

 

[I am the Liquor]

How many goals are we going to win by?

 

[ConnorMcMullet]

We are blaming the curse on the Great One now? I am almost at loss for words. Almost.

The GDT curse’s effect on the team has been eating away at my very core. The OP's preposterous deflection (Wayne Gretzky, really?) has provided me with the excuse to get this off my chest. This is the story of the curse and how four different men turned cruel.

"That's how it starts. The fever, the rage, the feeling of powerlessness that turns good men cruel." —Alfred Pennyworth

***

We need to go back to a time when the season was young, the Oilers had a winning record and things were all right in Oil Country. It was December 2018 and the team was in the midst of a strong start to the season. There was a feeling of hope, an unfamiliarity in a decade of darkness. The word "playoffs" was actually in some Oilers fans’ vocabulary.

Along came game 34. Or, more appropriately, game day thread no. 34—the Odious Bringer of the Curse’s first GDT of the season. Let’s call him "OBC" to keep it simple. No. 34 birthed a poll cursing all GDT polls henceforth. It was the thread that jinxed a hockey team's season.

OBC went on to create GDTs 35, 36 and 37. Four consecutive threads and four consecutive Oilers losses. All were flawed. The threads had incorrect numerals: two 35s were created and 37 was misrepresented as 36. The false 35, which should be no. 36, was not posted on game day as is tradition. False 36 desecrated post date tradition, too, and included another blasphemous poll.

The sacrilegious GDT construction was an insult to the hockey gods. Beginning with no. 34, the team went on to lose 7 of the next 8 games. That turned into an atrocious 22 losses in 31 games—a 29% win rate. The team never recovered.

(Some readers may have noticed the win rate is Leon Draisaitl’s #29. This exact match is no coincidence. Like all things in life there is balance. The team was cursed, and so an individual was blessed. The Oilers are a lottery team with potentially two 100-point players.)

***

Hot, blonde, and fit. No, that’s not a description of the next poster of whom I name "the Joker," but his avatar. This nutcase gleefully attaches cursed polls to nearly every damn game day thread. That is a lot of polls.

But it doesn’t end there. It's never enough for psychopaths who only want to watch the oil burn. Oft included are awful tunes by the likes of the Backstreet Boys and Halsey. The sadist is nothing if not consistent; another recurrence is breaking the unwritten HF-Oilers commandment: "thou shalt not make the GDT before game day."

Chains of losses piled high under his reign. At one point the hockey gods took back their only begotten son for several games (due to "suspension" and "illness"? No, my sweet summer child, it’s the damned GDT curse) before returning McJesus to us. I helplessly spammed my forensic audits and when that failed I struck him down with surgical precision. I became as cruel as the Joker and still I could not thwart the madman as he is my perfect adversary.

***

A poster tried to intervene. Marked by sky blue, he was a powerful figure. A cursory glance may attribute the sense of honor, too. But I knew “Miranda” for another villain. The signs were there.

Bounce.gif. It was another seemingly unstoppable force like TOPPEP. Or, that rallying call to give our energies to the team. Before bounce.gif, we were limping and had only won 1 game in the last dozen. That was when a poster came and thrust a GIF toward us. The forum erupted with excitement. Elation hung thick in the air. Bounce.gif had gone two for two, a pleasurable outcome, and an actual win streak was erected.

Miranda banned bounce.gif under the guise of forum rules and PG-13. Without bounce.gif we succumbed to the Predators in the very next game. That was then followed by a spanking at the hands of the Leafs. It was clear that the team would not slide into the playoffs nor go on a deep run. Miranda not only deflated our hopes but self-admittedly murdered the Condor’s 17-game win streak.

***

For many Oilers fans the dream of making the playoffs has already ended. For some, like me, it was never considered a possibility. For an even smaller contingent, hope remains alive until the math says otherwise. But, there is another fervent group who will do anything to see their team win. This time they have done the unthinkable. They* have summoned the OBC to create this very GDT.

To be continued.

***

*I'm referring to only two posters here. Can you guess their names? Yes, that is correct—"Miranda" and the Joker. Indeed, you don't need to be the world's greatest detective to see how these three men are linked in more ways then one. This is the HF-Oilers version of Russia-Trump. Oh, and by "win" I meant winning the draft lottery.

***

The official Oilers Nut Shot Watch has begun:

Game 69: Oscar Klefbom
Game 70: Jujhar Khaira
Game 71: ?

(The nut shots is due to the curse obviously.)

***

To: Peter Chiarelli

From: Oilers fans

***

(Shameless plug though most people probably won’t reach the end of this post lol. I’m working on a website called OILERZ for Oilers vids, clips, GIFs, graphics. Would really appreciate if you could subscribe to my mailing list. It’s just so I can alert you when the site launches. If that ever happens heh. Coding/designing it from the ground up so it will take a while. Thanks.)

So Cloned is the Joker, Soli is Miranda (Talia Al-Ghul from Dark Knight Rises, I'm assuming), and I'm... the OBC? That's not fair.

Anyway, your post was an incredibly obvious attempt to remove suspicion from yourself. My hunch is that you are Gretzky and are trying to put the blame elsewhere. Want proof?

In your HFBoards career, you have 1,961 posts, and 1,032 likes, or 1.9 posts per like.

In Wayne Gretzky's career, he had 2,857 pts in 1,487 games, or 1.9 points per game.

Conclusion? Wayne Gretzky is Batman.

 

[yukoner88]

What about the time EIG essentially drove out Sather? That could not have helped things

 

[The Batman]

So Cloned is the Joker, Soli is Miranda (Talia Al-Ghul from Dark Knight Rises, I'm assuming), and I'm... the OBC? That's not fair.

Anyway, your post was an incredibly obvious attempt to remove suspicion from yourself. My hunch is that you are Gretzky and are trying to put the blame elsewhere. Want proof?

In your HFBoards career, you have 1,961 posts, and 1,032 likes, or 1.9 posts per like.

In Wayne Gretzky's career, he had 2,857 pts in 1,487 games, or 1.9 points per game.

Conclusion? Wayne Gretzky is Batman.

A) Those stats don't make sense. Maybe if I was at 1.9 likes per post and not the reverse.

B) We can't both be the OBC villain. Gretzky is OBC. You are OBC. You have a higher probability of being Gretzky. And if you're Gretzky, you just admitted to cursing the team.

C) Connor McDavid is the Batman. I shared the evidence months ago.

D) I called you out for deflecting. You can't just copy what I said. It appears as though you can't refute the sheer volume of facts I shared.

 

[ConnorMcMullet]

A) Those stats don't make sense. Maybe if I was at 1.9 likes per post and not the reverse.

B) We can't both be the OBC villain. Gretzky is OBC. You are OBC. You have a higher probability of being Gretzky. And if you're Gretzky, you just admitted to cursing the team.

C) Connor McDavid is the Batman. I shared the evidence months ago.

D) I called you out for deflecting. You can't just copy what I said. It appears as though you can't refute the sheer volume of facts I shared.

Yeah, whatever. If it makes you feel any better, I subscribed to your mailing list.

Hold on a second... this site you posted for us to to subscribe was called "Mad Mimi" and was powered by GoDaddy®.

Just saying, Wayne Gretzky had a daughter named Emma, and we all know Mimi is a common nickname for Emma...

 

[Ritchie Valens]

So Cloned is the Joker, Soli is Miranda (Talia Al-Ghul from Dark Knight Rises, I'm assuming), and I'm... the OBC? That's not fair.

Anyway, your post was an incredibly obvious attempt to remove suspicion from yourself. My hunch is that you are Gretzky and are trying to put the blame elsewhere. Want proof?

In your HFBoards career, you have 1,961 posts, and 1,032 likes, or 1.9 posts per like.

In Wayne Gretzky's career, he had 2,857 pts in 1,487 games, or 1.9 points per game.

Conclusion? Wayne Gretzky is Batman.

Let's add some cornstarch to this plot and thicken this baby up.

Bruce Mcnall (former Kings owner), Wayne Gretzky and John Candy bought the Toronto Argonauts in the early 90s.

There's just too much here for it not to be a coincidence anymore.

 

[9GWG9]

Wowzers. More entertaing than the news around here.

 

[SaltNPeca]

Well done OP, but you'll never catch the puppetmaster, not even with RICO. He's got his lacky Tocchet in place.

 

[Messrules11]

The real jinx is Pronger’s wife. Been downhill since he left.

 

[ConnorMcMullet]

Let's add some cornstarch to this plot and thicken this baby up.

Bruce Mcnall (former Kings owner), Wayne Gretzky and John Candy bought the Toronto Argonauts in the early 90s.

There's just too much here for it not to be a coincidence anymore.

Sorry @Batman, but the evidence is just piling up against you.

 

[booyakasha]

What about the time EIG essentially drove out Sather? That could not have helped things

Why?
Sather wasn't very good after about '91 on.

 

[Evgeny Oliker]

Koskinen starting both back to back games?

 

[Nostradumbass]

Why?
Sather wasn't very good after about '91 on.

He was a trading wizard. Every time a player would price themselves out of Edmonton, he would bring in some incredible younger talent.

 

[yukoner88]

Why?
Sather wasn't very good after about '91 on.

96 until the time he left he did pretty well.

 

[Jet Walters]

Grabner scoring a short handed goal is almost a guarantee.

 

[booyakasha]

He was a trading wizard. Every time a player would price themselves out of Edmonton, he would bring in some incredible younger talent.

like Satan for Barrie and Millar?
Letting Cujo go for nothing?, how about his legendary drafting?...like 1990? or better yet 1995?
Slats was great in the 80's, but after that he wasn't very good.

 

[Shaquille Oatmeal]

 

[MikeGrier99]

We don't have a single winger that isn't 4th line material on thirty other nhl teams.