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The good ship Oiler has been puttering and sputtering along the NHL ocean for 6 years now, with a small but crack crew. However the ship was small, and it lacked the depth to take on its opponents who prowled below the surface, trying to sink the Oiler day after day.
Sure, its crack crew managed to gain some victories, however if they didn't do it, no one else did.
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Admiral Chiarelli tried but managed to get depth that was either too old and worn out, too inconsistent, had no gunpowder, or just did well in the preseason wargames. The crack crew was getting frustrated.
The Commander in Chief kept muttering something being in the water as to why the depth didn't ever work. Yes, something was in the water alright...the enemy! And Oiler depth that didn't work!
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Year after year went by, and nothing seemed to change. However one day in 2021, in the middle of a pandemic fog, a massive large ship carrying the Oiler flag emerged out of the fog. The crew had seen nothing like it before. Admiral Chiarelli only used a one man kayak that kept tipping over.
Then one day Admiral Chiarelli was keelhauled and never heard from again. A new Admiral was hired, and spoke of finding new depth, and being patient with new recruits. He had a reputation of sailing the biggest, baddest, meanest ship of them all.
Could it be.....
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YES, YES IT IS.
The new Admirals ship emerged from the fog and suddenly was seen by the crack crew in all her glory!!!
The Admiral stepped onto the Bridge and waved to the crack crew on the old ship Oiler.
It was Admiral Holland!
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Music played, trumpets blasted, the King of the High Seas and Lord of the Admiralty was here!
He hailed the crack crew and said - "I bring you trained recruits, mercenaries from other teams, an elderly but wise goaltender, defence, confidence and depth! Come aboard the new ship OILER!"
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The crack crew rejoiced.
They boarded the new ship OILER and let the old ship float away. It had many memories, most of them bad. It was time to make new memories on the new ship OILER with its large crew and lots of depth! They no sooner boarded then the klaxon alarm went off!!!!!
ENEMY SIGHTED AT 8 O CLOCK!!!!
Time to hunt some Flame submarine.
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The new crew went right to work, locating the enemy and began furiously lobbing Pizza and Bouchard bombs into the water. One after the other after the other. The pressure was relentless, from which there was no escape.
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Depth was hurled at the enemy, one after the other after the other.
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The enemy tried to evade and tried to attack the OILER.
However it was the OILER depth that continued a furious assault on the enemy.
It was no use.
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FINAL VICTORY WAS OURS, AND WILL BE OURS.
With DEPTH, the new ship piloted by Admiral Holland King of the Ocean and Lord of the Admiralty the OILER shall be the terror of the seas.
(zoom in to see what Rattie has to say)
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PROJECTED LINES
RNH - McDavid - PJ
Ennis - Draisaitl - Honey Badger
Kahun - Khaira - Archi
Neal - Haas - Chaisson
Nurse - Barrie
Russell - Larsson
4K - Bouchard
Koskinen and Pray
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TEAM EVIL INCARNATE
PROJECTED LINES
Johnny Potty - Cletus Lindholm - Billy Ray Dube
Elrod Mangypane - Woody Backlund - Ratboy Tkaturtle
Jim Bob Lucic - Billy Bob Bennett - Clyde Ritchie
Billy Joe Nordstrom - Chunky Froese - Josh Lievo
Kneeordano - Augustus Andersson
Bubba Hanifin - Bodean Tanev
Bobo Mackay - Eustace Valimaki
Buck Markstrom
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GD MUSIC
BISMARK by SABATON
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FEARLESS PREDICTION
We send the Flames to a watery grave.
We win.
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